


Without Darkness

by jesbakescookies



Series: Without Darkness-There Is No Light [1]
Category: The Walking Dead & Related Fandoms, The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Blood and Gore, Canon-Typical Violence, Drama, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/M, Gore, Implied/Referenced Torture, Negan Being Negan (Walking Dead), Psychological Trauma, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-27
Updated: 2018-06-16
Packaged: 2019-05-14 01:07:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 25
Words: 165,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14759696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jesbakescookies/pseuds/jesbakescookies
Summary: Kayla thought she lost her family years ago but stumbling upon Alexandria she discovered the truth. They weren't lost, they were taken. When a man in black sauntered through the gates with a barbed lady resting on his shoulder, Kayla jumped at the chance to escape her past to an unknown future.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome to my next endeavor. Without Darkness will be an interesting project. Part Tv canon, mostly AU fiction featuring a Negan/OC pairing. I will try to keep to canon characters but of course shit happens. Hopefully I can pull off a realistic work of fiction. Heh.
> 
> Checkout my tumblr for pictures of story and character inspiration. (Kayla is inspired by Octavia Blake from The 100 and in future chapters the character named "Creep" is inspired by Lincoln from The 100.)
> 
> Thanks for following all my other fics, please review and let me know what y'all think.
> 
> ENJOY!

Aaron led the woman towards the gate at gunpoint, her hands tied tightly behind her back. Daryl walked to his left, his eyes scanning the woods for any possible friends of the road worn woman. With the threats of the mysterious Negan, Daryl wasn't taking any chances. They could be walking a member of his group right through the front gates. She had thick dark hair braided on the sides, the back trimmed shorter, almost jagged as if done in haste. Her forehead and dark narrowed eyes were partially covered with a swath of dirty bangs. The stranger looked haggard but fierce, her strong jaw was set tightly, the muscle thick with tension. The sneer that curled her chapped lips looked both angry and amused. Daryl wasn't sure why the expression seemed familiar but he could only really compare it to something his brother Merle would have worn, an arrogant smirk with an edge of dangerous.

"Home Sweet Home, huh?" She jeered with a mocking grin. He couldn't help but be irritated by the woman, she got under his skin like a jagged splinter.

"Why don' ya shut your trap and walk." He snapped pushing her shoulder forcefully, her body stumbling forward a few feet. Without her hands to catch her from hitting the pavement, the bound girl landed on her knees before crashing face first to the rough asphalt. She released a grunt as her cheek scraped along the gravel.

"Shit." Daryl muttered glancing at Aaron's wide eyes. He drilled holes into Daryl the size of Texas and growled, "you are out of line Dixon. Help her up."

Aaron had never raised his voice or ordered Daryl around once in all the many months they'd known each other. Daryl couldn't help but cringe at the tone, a deeply buried part of himself prepared to be hit. It had been a serious fuck up and if Aaron were his Pa, he deserved to be beaten bloody.

Without hesitating another second he flung his bow on his back and helped the woman up. She flinched at his nearness, the sight made his stomach clench, angering him even more than her words.

"C'mon." He barked, pushing her towards the gate. Daryl heard Aaron growl another irritated comment about his inability to show a little humanity but he ignored it. The man was lucky Daryl even agreed to help her ass get to the gates.

Fuck her and fuck him. Fuck this day all together.

* * *

Kayla hadn't meant to get caught by the redneck and the outdoorsy male model but there she was, trussed up like a holiday turkey.

If she were lucky, they'd kill her before they raped her and if life taught Kayla anything, it was that she was the unluckiest s. o. b. there ever was. If there was a wrong place and a wrong time she would be there.

The gate rolled open and she sauntered in, her bloodied lip curled obnoxiously, her eyes full of false bravado. Her cheek was throbbing from her face plant and a sharp sting of imbedded gravel made her grimace.

"Well, well, well. Look at this little slice of heaven in the middle of a shitstorm." She taunted her chest constricting with something akin to hope but she smothered it with hate.

Hate for all the false hopes she'd been given before and had ripped away. Hate for people like these who had some kind of safe haven. Hate for the world and everything in it.

"Stop. On your knees." A loud voice barked from the side, a large redhead with an impressive rifle stomped towards her. Kayla smirked at him and drawled, "A'right a'right. Calm down." She sunk to her knees, grunting as she pressed into her newly bruised and scrapped joints.

There were raised voices down the pretty little street, faces peaking out of porches and the gossiping housewives finally getting new entertainment.

A clacking of boots on concrete grew louder until they stopped in front of the kneeling woman. She didn't bother making eye contact, instead she sneered at a mousy woman and man wearing a priest collar.

"Found 'er bout a mile out. Tried t'jump us. No signs of a group though." The redneck informed the newest arrival, his road worn boots appearing in the corner of her eye.

"Hey." The new guy drawled, his fingers snapping to gain her attention, "don't look at them. Look at me."

Kayla snorted, turning her head towards the southern twang, a feeling of nostalgia hitting her. When her dark eyes met the crystalline baby blues of none other than Rick Grimes, Kayla thought she was hallucinating.

His mouth opened as if about to ask a question but his throat dried. She watched recognition hit Rick hard, his unstable feet bringing him closer.

"Kay?" He rasped, his eyes narrowing as he looked her over, his head cocked to the side.

"Holy shit. Rick fuckin Grimes." She muttered with a wry grin, shaking her head in disbelief. A sudden thought hit her like a freight train, a lightening strike of hope. Where there was Rick Grimes, there always was best friend, Shane Walsh. The loud mouth obnoxious meathead, none other than Kayla's big brother.

Her eyes shot over Rick's shoulder, skipping across the faces of others, her chest aching from the strength of her racing heart. Kayla stumbled to her feet, her mind reeling as the others shouted orders for her to kneel. Guns were raised and aimed at her but she could only focus on finding her long lost family. Rick was shouting over them, his hand up trying to pacify them while Kayla's wild eyes scanned the growing crowd. "Shane!" She screamed, her heart clashing as she searched for her big brother. "Shane!"

"Kayla!" Rick shouted, his hands gripping her shoulders. Finally meeting Rick's troubled gaze, she watched as he shook his head once, his chin dropping.

A fissure cracked open inside her chest and all the grief she had thought she processed, bubbled up again. Kayla felt like she had whiplash from the rapid change of emotions.

"Mind tellin' us what is goin' on and who she is Hoss?" The large redhead growled with frustrated tone, a rifle still aimed at her head. Kayla dropped to her knees and sat on her heels, her shoulders sagging as she swallowed thickly.

Not knowing was hard but at least it allowed a vague hope her brother was out surviving. Now she knew he was dead and gone, never to be seen again.

Rick didn't reply to his men only approached closer, bending to catch her eyes. "Kay... M'sorry."

She nodded, her eyes drilling into the ground as she fought back the burning under her eyelids. Shaking her head violently once, she glanced back up at Rick and asked, "Lori?"

The man's face hardened and he shook his head sadly, his eyes jumping to a teen watching from the sidewalk. He stood tall, his face partially covered with a large white bandage and low slung sheriff hat.

"Jesus. That Carl?" She gasped with a chuckle, "what're ya feedin him?"

Rick laughed dryly, his hand scrubbing his jaw and rasped, "not enough." He turned to the men who still had her in their sights, guns and bows raised and ordered, "Aaron take her to Denise, I'll be right there."

"How 'bout these ties Sherriff?" She asked with a cocky grin, her grief shoved back in its box. Rick grabbed her bicep, helping her up while rolling his eyes at her and shook his head, "same goddamn shit eating grin as your brother. They stay on, don't know each other anymore Kay."

"Well that's just rude Grimes. What would Mama say?" Kayla drawled, her arrogant smirk back as she followed the curly haired man down the street.

"Shut your mouth and go get some first aid." Rick ordered while pointing down the street.

Kayla shuffled towards the house they used for medical treatment and glanced back at Rick who now spoke low to several people.

* * *

Kayla sat on a cot while their doctor plucked gravel out of her cheek with shaky hands. Aaron stood guard, his hands holding his rifle but not aiming it at her. She didn't speak, only sat trying to reel in what emotions that were drowning her from the inside. There had always been the awareness that her brother Shane could be dead. It was more statistically possible than him living in some paradise, safe and sound. Kayla knew that but there had always been some hope that he was a survivor. When he had called her to tell her he was traveling to Atlanta she had been stuck at the border of Florida. He told her to go to Fort Benning and eventually he'd meet her there. She'd waited for a month and never saw hide nor hair of him. Eventually she travelled north, heading to Atlanta and what she found was burned out ruins.

"So you know Rick from before?" Aaron asked from his position by the door. Kayla glanced at him and nodded without speaking. She wasn't sure she could talk about the old world without opening the freshly opened wounds.

"Was he always soooooo... Serious?" Denise asked before adding, "this is gonna sting."

Kayla snorted and drawled, "Rick was always the adult. He kept Sha.." Shaking her head she looked away towards the window swallowing down her brother's name.

"He uh.. He's always been in charge." She finished with, her voice hoarse from holding back the anguish.

The two nodded silently as if knowing that before was off limits for now.

Rick entered with Daryl, their eyes jumping to Aaron and Denise, a silent conversation occurring while Kayla looked on.

"Can you take these ties off, bowman over there was none to gentle."

"Ya punched me in the balls, wasn't lookin' for a repeat." He drawled but his eyes read as regretful.

Rolling hers in return she muttered, "just protecting myself."

"More like tryin to steal from us." He growled causing Rick to put up a halting hand.

"Come on now." He drawled, "won't take them off just yet Kay. Gotta ask you some questions."

"Shoot." She responded before adding with a wide grin, "metaphorically speaking of course."

Rick only stared back before asking, "where have you been all this time?"

Kayla let out a puff of air, blowing her bangs off her face. She knew her scars were showing now, the burn spreading from her jaw and neck. Their eyes widened and mouths parted but no one wanted to ask.

Without explaining she started a breakdown of everything that happened to her. "I was near Florida when everything started. Got trapped by the border. I talked to Shane..." Shaking her head slightly and looked away, her mind going back to the day he called frantic and demanding.

"Told me to go to Fort Benning, said he'd meet me there."

Rick let out a sharp breath, his head bowing as he shook his head. She didn't ask only continued on, "I guess you know he didn't show... I uh waited for about a month and then the place fell. A few died inside and just... It was a massacre. Military gunned down anything moving. I got out with a few defectors. Travelled north towards Atlanta."

Kayla snorted and rolled her sore shoulders, the ties cutting into her skin. "Found it smoldering and over run. I figured then that he was probably dead. He had said he was taking Lori and Carl there... Said you hadn't made it out of the hospital."

Rick pursed his lips and looked away, pain flashing behind his eyes. Kayla paused before muttering, "I was with a few different groups. The guys I was with were good at surviving but we're pretty... ruthless I guess you could say."

Rolling her eyes she muttered, "it's what got 'em killed. Chose the wrong group to fuck with I guess. I wasn't there but I found them later. Assholes let them turn. After that I was alone for a long time. It was easier, no one to question me and no one else to feed. I stayed out of sight and moved at night."

"S'plains the night vision."

"Those were Kevin's." She replied softly, chewing her lip as she remembered how she found the poor guy gutted and turned, tied to a light pole. Shaking off the chill up her spine, "I fucked up and got caught by a group. They were looking for entertainment and got me instead." She snorted, "bastards lit the house I was in on fire, thought it would drive me out but I stayed instead. Picked them off with a rifle."

"How bad were your burns?" the doctor asked, her pen paused above a chart.

"Pretty gnarly. My neck, arms and ribs. Laid me up for a few months."

"Any medical treatment?"

"Found a nursing college with some supplies left. I didn't know much about burn care but luckily the place had some textbooks that gave me an idea how. Spent those months living off vending machine shit and stuff scrounged from the dorms. Lost so much weight I could count ribs." She chuckled despite it being the closest she'd come to starving to death.

"You look well fed now." Rick remarked with suspicious eyes.

Daryl muttered, "Prolly found some other poor fucks to steal from huh?"

"I did what I had too." She sneered, her eyes flaring with anger.

Daryl shook his head and muttered, "just like ya brother."

Kayla's eyes narrowed and she growled, "what did you just fuckin' say about my brother?"

"Daryl." Rick spoke firmly, "let's all calm down."

"No I'd like to know what this asshole has to say about my brother."

"Nothin' that we all don't know." Daryl taunted, "Ya brother was a selfish fucking asshole."

Kayla hopped down from the gurney despite her tied hands and shouted, "don't talk about my brother like that."

"Kay." Rick gripped her biceps, walking her back to the bed as she struggled, "Kay stop alright."

"What happen to him Rick. What happened?"

"Ya brother went fuckin' nuts that's what happened!" Daryl growled, his finger aggressively pointing at her, "you seem just like that twisted fuck."

"Daryl. Out. Now." Rick hollered while holding Kayla back.

The other man stomped out as Kayla continued to struggle and snarl.

"Kay stop." Rick demanded, shoving her onto the gurney, "stop."

Her breathing was elevated, her chest rising rapidly as she growled, "what happened Rick? Fuckin' tell me."

"Kay..." He started shaking his head, "let's do this later ok?"

"No, not ok." She growled, "I deserve to know what happened to my brother."

"He lost it Kay... He was unstable." Rick sighed, sitting down heavily on the bed across from her, "he uh..."

They sat silently as Rick tried to form sentences. She was bouncing her leg nervously as he seemed to struggle with the memories.

"He and Lori... They uh..." He trailed off and looked at her with what she could only read as anger and jealously. Kayla mouth dropped open, "She.. He? They did that to you?"

"They thought I was dead and I guess... Comforted each other." Rick explained while scrubbing his eyes, "when I got back... Well he wasn't happy about it. Wanted her and Carl for his own."

"Rick, I'm sorry."

"Don't. You didn't do it."

"I know I just... I'm sorry."

"It's in the past." He rasped, scrubbing his face, "He wasn't stable after that. He was upset everybody looked to me instead of him. He questioned everything I did, fought with me on everything. We found a farm, a nice place and he kept wanting to leave."

She looked at him and watched as something close to guilt flooded his eyes, "He wanted to go to Fort Benning."

"He did?"

"Yeah but he never said you were there. I always just thought... He never talked about you and I didn't ask, it seemed like it was because you were... Gone."

Kayla shook her head and glared at the ground. Shane had tried to get to her and Rick had refused."Why didn't he just tell you I was waiting, I don't get it."

Shrugging, Rick drawled, "Me neither. Maybe he didn't want to get his hopes up. I don't know."

"So he wanted to leave, you didn't. What happened?"

"He kept going off the rails. He wasn't thinking straight. The guy who owned the farm thought walkers were just sick, his farm hand collected dead and put them in their barn. Their family was in there and well Shane let them out, killed them all in front of the family."

Kayla cocked an eyebrow, "sounds appropriate."

"Not the way he did it. I was working with Hershel, I was changing his mind and getting him to let us stay but Shane went and fucked it up by having a shoot out."

Kayla bit back a scathing remark about Shane doing what had to be done and listened.

"We ended up with a prisoner from a group of roaming marauders, Shane wanted to kill him to prevent them finding us."

"That also sounds appropriate Grimes. Sounds like he had figured out the way the world works now before you did." She growled, her anger returning as the real reason for Shane's death wasn't explained.

"At the time it was extreme to me." Rick replied, "I know better now."

"Get to the fucking point Rick. How'd he die?"

"He tried to kill me Kay." Rick blurted out, his fists clenched as he paced.

She stared at him for a long moment before rasping, "how?"

"Lured me out into the farm looking for the escaped prisoner that he let go, tried to kill me because he wanted Lori, wanted my son."

"Tried?" She breathed out, her chest clenching as the realization of what happened to her brother began to become clear.

"I had t'do it Kay. It was me or him and..."

Kayla shot up to her feet, her teeth grinding and eyes filling with tears but didn't speak. She swallowed back a fury that she'd never felt before. It was burning through her so quickly that Kayla felt like she might burst into flames.

"M'sorry Kay. I... I  _never_  wanted that... I." Rick choked on his next words, his hand covering his mouth as he swallowed back a sob. Kayla glared at him as tears rolled down her cheeks, her chest still heaving with quick breathes, "you killed my brother." She made the statement without expecting a response, her heart feeling as it were being torn from her chest. "You killed Shane."

"I didn't want to Kay. It was-"

"Yeah I heard you the first time, you or him." She snarled, her hands fisted as she struggled with the ropes, the material rubbing her wrists raw. Rick hopped up and pushed her to sit down, growling at her to stop fighting with her binds.

"That why you kept me tied up huh Rick? To save your fuckin' ass when you told me?!" She snarled her head coming back to slam into his nose. Blood splattered across her chest and his as she kicked and cursed him.

The doors flung open and two people tackled her to the ground, her screams echoing in the tiny room.

"You fucking murderer. You fuck. He loved you. He fucking loved you." She screamed, "He saved your goddamn family. You asshole. Fuck you. Fuck you!"

Her feet were kicking out as Daryl and a large redhead pinned her to the ground. The doctor had come back in and looked terrified. Rick was pressing a towel to his face while ordering the men to be more careful. Kayla brought her foot back and landed a kick to the redhead's chest. A sudden fist landed on her temple making her vision blur sharply. More screams and shouting rose louder as Rick screamed for everyone to calm down. Kayla was gasping and growling as hands pressed her into the ground. A sharp prick to her arm brought her head around as the doctor retracted a needle from her arm.

"Fuck you. You drugged me you fucking bitch." She snarled, her head filling with cotton, her voice becoming slurred, "I'll kill you, ya fucks. Fuck you. Fucking assholes. Shane. Ya killed 'im. Ya killed my family. Rick.. Why... Ya... Don' touch me. don' fuckin' touch me. I'll kill ya. Imma kill ya." Her vision was blacking out and she heard the doctor ordering them off of her. Kayla felt them moving her but soon everything plummeted away, leaving her alone in total darkness.

* * *

Daryl watched her blackout, her body finally collapsing in on itself. He was panting hard as he pulled away. The woman was stronger than she looked, her struggling frame was almost too much for both Abraham and him to hold onto.

"Hells bells she's a fuckin' wild one." Abraham remarked, rubbing the area she had landed a kick to. Rick growled, "you shouldn't have hit her."

Daryl looked down at the redness on his knuckles and sneered, "I was tryin' to knock her out."

"Ya well it didn't work."

"Well I guess I shoulda figured she had a rock for a skull like her shithead brother." He snapped back his anger getting the best of him. Rick glared at him and growled, "Don't."

"Don't what? State the obvious. She's just as crazy as he was."

"I'm serious Daryl." He growled, "The same assumption could be made about you and Merle."

"Don't talk about Merle." He sneered angrily.

"Exactly." Rick replied, "Shane was all she had. I just told her I killed her only family. The person who raised her. I took that from her."

"He deserved it." Daryl sneered through clenched teeth.

Shaking his head sadly, "Doesn't mean it won't hurt her. Doesn't mean she doesn't deserve to be angry."

"We can't let her stay, Rick. We'll never be able to trust her." Carol spoke quietly after entering the room.

Glenn chimed in, his arms crossed, "Just look at how Shane was. He was off in crazytown.

"Glenn, you and I both know the 'us' now wouldn't blink an eye at what Shane was like. He wasn't wrong in what he thought, it was just poorly executed and not thought out. "

"He tried to kill you Rick." Carol reminded with pursed lips.

"And he killed Otis. Not to even mention lying about your death and fuckin' your-" Daryl's next words were cut off as Rick gripped his throat with whitened knuckles, "don't finish that fuckin' sentence Dixon."

The air thickened with tension as both men glared at each other.

"I'm just sayin' they ain't trust worthy." Daryl rasped, his hand gripping Rick's wrist.

"You don't know Kay." Rick growled, his hand yanking away as the fury simmered just under the surface.

"You don't either Rick, not anymore. Who knows, maybe she actually is with Negan and his men. We don't know if she's telling the truth." Glenn spoke evenly, his stance tense but his face calm.

"You thought you knew Shane too Rick." Carol added, her tone laced with sympathy. Daryl wanted to roll his eyes at Rick's desire to hold onto the girl he once knew. 'Bitch is crazy.' He thought angrily, his narrowed eyes glaring at her still body.

"She ain't him." Rick drawled, "she ain't and she says she isnt with a group."

"Man, that type of crazy runs in families and she is too fuckin' healthy to be on her own. She's gotta be from somewhere." Daryl rasped, his arms crossing and back straightening.

"Oh yeah? So you're just like Merle huh?" Rick growled, his eyes flashing. Daryl sneered, "I tol ya t'not talk about my brother. It ain't the same."

"It's exactly the same. You're judgin' her by her brother."

"I'm judgin' her by her goddamn actions Rick, she tried robbin' us, broke your nose. What more do I gotta know?"

"I just told her I killed her brother. I deserved a broke nose. Hell I deserved more, it don't matter that it was justified, I still did it." Rick sighed, "I figured you of all people could understand. Her brother wasn't the best person, he did wrong but he was all she had. Even before everything, he raised that girl. We all know what this world does to people. I'm not any different than Shane was."

"You ain't him Rick."

"I could be."

"Nah, you wouldn't kill me." Daryl drawled, shaking his head slowly, "Ya'd never even consider it."

Rick was silent and shook his head, "none of this matters. I'm not kickin' her out. She says she ain't with a group. Giving her a safe place to be is the least I can do for him. He was my-." His voice cracked before he cleared his throat, looking away and continued, "doesn't matter what ended up happenin' he was still my brother."

* * *

Kayla's whole body ached, her head pounded as she peeled her crusty eyes open. The room spun as her eyeballs rolled around without much control.

"Easy." A disembodied voice came from her right. Jumping slightly Kayla tried to bring her hands up and found them bound to the bed rails.

"Motherfucker." She growled angrily, her head still spinning as she yanked at her restraints. "Untie me."

"I can't. Rick's gonna be back this evening to talk to you."

"Un-fucking-tie me now bitch. Or I swear to god." She snarled, her feet kicking out, slamming against the metal footboard. The racket brought two guards in, the redhead and a black woman with a giant rifle.

"Easy there tiger." He drawled, his hands resting on his hips and an amused smirked curling under his mustache.

"Fuck you, you goddamn jarhead." She shouted, the sound of other heavy feet coming her way had Kayla straining her restraints again. She was so damn angry that she was tied up and at their mercy. It infuriated her that she had fallen into yet another trap.

"Kay!" Rick growled, "stop."

"Untie me now goddamnit." She growled back, "got no fuckin right. Let me go now."

"You just need to calm down." He spoke evenly.

"Don't use your damn sheriff tone on me Grimes or I swear to god I'm gonna kick you in the nuts." She threatened, her body arching off the mattress.

"She right, that's your cop voice." Red commented, stroking his facial hair thoughtfully.

After struggling for over a half hour, Kayla sank back into the bed, her body exhausted from freaking out. She turned her glare away from everyone and clenched her jaw. Coming to the conclusion that she wasn't getting free Kayla chose silence. She would bid her time and once she had a chance she'd leave.

There was nothing there for her. Rick had made sure of that and there wasn't any way she would ever be able to look at the man and not think of him killing Shane.

"All done princess?" A voice taunted, his amused voice making her grind her teeth. She kept her eyes to the wall and counted backwards from one hundred, the technique Shane had taught her when panic or anger overwhelmed her. It made her focus on her breathing and her heart rate.

The bed dipped next to her, making her lurch away, her body arching as if touched by flames.

"It's me." Rick rasped, his hands up. Kayla eyes darted around seeing the room was now empty.

Her hands were clenched into fists, tension running through her body as Rick spoke calmly, "you still countin'?"

Kayla looked away, her eyes burning with tears, her chest aching from the familiarity. Rick was a person who knew her before, before everything went to shit. It had been years since she spoke to someone who she knew before. At least she thought she knew him but it was looking rather grim. Keeping her mouth shut she kept her blurry eyes on the wall, her breathing still elevated as she counted inside.

"Kay. Talk to me." His voice was hoarse, his tone pleading, "it doesn't have to be like this."

She didn't reply, her head stayed firmly turned and eyes removed from anywhere near the man she once considered a big brother. Soon he stood up and drawled, "I'll be by in the mornin'. Get some more sleep."

Kayla laid there counting, her breathing going from panic to a steady lull. The doctor came back in to check on her but she no longer talked or made eye contact. She was shutting everything down because despite Rick being the leader of the camp, Kayla didn't trust them. Past experience had taught her that no one was trustworthy, apparently not even family.

* * *

They led her through the tiny compound, her wrists now bound in front of her. She hadn't spoken since the evening before and her face was a blank slate. Inside she was still counting, her anxiety thrumming just under the surface.

"Sit." The woman with long dreadlocks and sword instructed. Her hand resting on the hilt of her blade. Kayla sat down, her expression staying calm but jaw tightening.

"Rick thinks you'll workout here but I'm not convinced." She spoke after a long stretch of silence. Kayla kept her eyes straight and mouth closed, her back was straight and hands fisted.

"I never met your brother." The woman remarked, moving to lean against a window sill, her eyes pretending to look outside but Kayla could tell they weren't leaving her.

"Heard stories. Good and bad."

Despite counting Kayla's breathing began to increase, her anger bubbling up as a stranger spoke about her only family. Her murdered family.

"Carl talks about him occasionally."

She can feel her cheek ticking at the prodding, the other woman obviously trying to get her to speak. Kayla started from one thousand to make it more challenging, her mind having to focus of more numbers rather than the crushing sensation in her chest. She hadn't had such bad anxiety attacks since being on her own. The stress of the dead wasn't nearly as debilitating as living humans.

"Do you even want to stay?"

Clenching her jaw until her teeth creaked Kayla fought with herself to keep silent. She wasn't giving in now after making such an effort. There wasn't anyway that she could speak without feeling like a failure.

"I don't think you do. I think you've been out there too long, seen too much. Done too much." She pondered, "I think you wouldn't know a good thing of it bit you in the ass."

With her breathing at a normal rate she kept her eyes vacant but they rose as the door opened. Daryl stepped inside and nodded to the woman, "Rick's on his way, wanted ya to go help with patrols."

Kayla clenched her fists, the idea of being alone with the bowman making her cringe.

'This is where it happens Kay.' She told herself, her body tensing. The other woman headed out with a glance towards her before leaving.

The room was silent as Daryl took the spot the woman had stood in, his broad shoulder pressed into the molding.

"Where's the screamin' wreck from last night?" He drawled, a cocky smirk on his face. Kayla held in a growl and kept her eyes on the wall. She was on nine hundred and eighty seven when he rasped, "M'sorry bout what I said about your brother."

Her eyes shot up without permission, her mouth parting. He rolled his shoulders as if uncomfortable, "my brother was a dickhead but he was my blood. Ain't the type to take kindly to people talkin about 'im neither. Shouldna said nothin'."

Turning her head away she kept her narrowed eyes on the window, her fists clenched. Boots thumped up the front steps making Kay straighten up, her gaze landing on the front door. Rick entered, his eyes shadowed and mouth downturned.

"Mornin'," he rasped to both Daryl and her, his hands resting on his hips. "How're you feelin Kay?"

Staring at him without revealing any emotions, Kayla stayed silent. Rick cleared his throat, his hand cupping his mouth in thought. "Not everyone thinks you'll fit here."

"I don't want to be here. Give me my shit and I'll be in my way." She responded despite her desire to play mute, her eyes flashing angrily. "I didn't want to fucking come here in the first place."

"Don't start this shit girl." Daryl snapped, his chest puffing up and finger jabbing in her directions.

"I wasn't speaking to you hillbilly."

"Stop!" Rick shouted, his fingers digging into his tired eyes.

"Look Rick I don't wanna be here, you're people don't want me here. Give me my shit and I'll go."

"Kay, you need a safe place. You can't make it on your own."

"I've done just fine and the  _only_  fucking person I'd trust right now is dead." She growled, her eyes burning into his. He flinched at the comment, his eyes dropping to the ground.

The air was thick with tension, Rick shifting uncomfortably while Daryl glared at her.

"I owe it to your brother to keep you safe."

"Yeah.. My brother." She sneered, "can't even say his name huh? I have a feeling Shane wouldn't want me within 100 miles of you Grimes and I have to say, I'd agree. I'm safer on my own."

Rick stared at her with stressful eyes and a scowl. Daryl grumbled under his breath but Kayla couldn't hear him, her focus on the man she once knew. Nodding he ticked his head to the entryway, Daryl following him to the front door. They spoke quietly, Daryl arguing with him about something.

When Rick sauntered back he rasped, "we can't let you go Kay."

* * *

She was placed inside a room made of cinder block and iron. Kayla sneered at Rick as he closed the gate and unlocked her cuffs through the bars. She stepped away, rubbing her wrists.

"M'sorry Kayla."

"Fuck you." She snapped, pacing the floor of her new cell.

"It didn't have to be like this."

"Yeah, apparently it did because here I fucking am. You better hope i don't get outta here." Kayla threatened, her eyes prickling.

"Get some rest Kay."

"Don't talk to me."

The front door slammed shut and Kayla ground her teeth, her eyes scanning every inch of her new abode. Skimming her hands over the walls and barred windows she growled lowly. The thing was well made, the cement between the bricks new but cured. The bars were thick and not moving anytime soon. The only weakness she would be able to exploit would be human error. She needed an accomplice.

Without much to do other than think, Kayla laid down and rested. She needed her strength to get free. If she were to escape she'd need to fight her way out.

The door opened and a woman with gray hair walked in, a plate in one hand and a smile on her face. "I brought lunch." She quipped, her eyes bright.

'Liar.' Kayla thought instantly. The woman's demeanor was a facade, a wolf in sheep's clothing. Kayla saw right through it because she was of the same breed.

"Wonderful. I hope it's gluten free because I'm a little sensitive to grains."

The women's cheek ticked but she grinned sweetly, "I don't know about that but its beans with some fresh vegetables."

Kayla slide up from her cot and she sauntered to the iron gate. "So what's good cop's name? You look like a Karen. I knew a Karen, she was a two faced liar."

The older woman slide the plate under the gate and then leaned against the wall across the room.

"I knew Shane." She spoke blandly, her eyes studying Kayla's reactions closely. "He saved my life, my daughter's life a few times."

Kayla ground her teeth, the bite of food she swallowed rising back up in her throat. Her head was buzzing so loudly that the woman's voice was unrecognizable. She watched her mouth move but nothing made sense. Standing up she let the plate fall to the ground, food spilling across the floor.

"Don't say his name again." She snarled, pointing at her aggressively, "ever."

"Or what?"

"Or the moment I get out of here I will slit you scrawny throat."

* * *

Daryl and Rick began to interrogate Kayla about her time before arriving in Alexandria. They would bounce questions off her as she lay there prone on her mattress. It had become a daily ritual that was more than a little irritating.

"So you've been with groups before?"

"Does it matter?" She muttered at one point, her eyes drilling holes in the ceiling above her.

"Of course it does. When was the last time you were with a group?"

"I don't know." Kayla spoke with a sigh, "They're all dead so who the fuck cares?"

"You ever hear of Negan?"

"Nee-what?"

"A man, named Negan?"

Shrugging, Kayla held her tongue. She'd never heard of the guy, however she couldn't help but be obstinate. Rick wouldn't trust her for whatever reason and it made her dig her heels in at every turn. Every question they asked was another chance for her to fuck with them. She couldn't resist.

Daryl glared at her while Rick rubbed his eyes with rough fingers. Kayla bit back the smirk pulling at her lips as she stretched out on her cot with a relaxing groan. She didn't have much to entertain her, so prodding the men into a hissy fit had to do.

"Gonna answer the fuckin' question?" The redneck snapped, his hand clenching the cell door. Kayla rolled her head to look at him passively, "I'm kinda tired of answering the same fucking questions. I told you I wasn't with a group for months. You don't give a fuck what I say because it's always gonna be a lie to you, so go fuck yourselves."

"Kay."

"I'd prefer inmate."

Daryl punched the wall before stomping out of the home, the front door slamming shut with a rattle. Rick leaned on the gate, his arms resting between the bars. Kayla snorted at his serious expression, her arms crossing while she stared at the ceiling again.

"Kay."

"Inmate."

"Goddamnit Kayl! Jesus Christ. Could please. PLEASE. Stop busting my balls?" Rick shouted his hands gripping the bars with bleached knuckles. Sitting up slowly, her boots fell heavily onto the concrete.

"Busting your balls? Are fucking  _kidding_  me Grimes?" she sneered, her eyes blazing, "you're holding me hostage for no goddamn reason.  _None_. Top it off I've known you for twenty fucking years and you still don't know me? Of course, I thought I knew you." She stomped forward and choked out, "I thought you were my brother but you're just another asshole in this shit stained world. I'm done.  _Done!_ Leave me to rot or execute me but don't fucking talk to me again.  _Ever_." Her eyes were flooded, tears barely holding back and her fists trembled as she pinned him with look of total betrayal.

"Get. Out." She hissed before sitting on the bed, her head in her hands. Taking deep breathes and counting backwards, Kayla listened as the door shut with a quiet but resounding click.

Swallowing a sob, Kayla ground the heels of her hands into her eyes. Her chest was aching with a deep feeling of loneliness, worse than ever before. Even when out in the woods with nothing but biters to keep her company had she felt so alone. So hopeless


	2. Chapter 2

"Dad's wrong." A voice broke Kayla's concentration, the woman currently counting how many pin sized holes there were in the cinderblock next to her head. Turning towards the locked gate, she saw Carl leaning against the metal bars. When she'd seen him on the street she had noticed the bandage but with everything else going on, she never questioned it. It was obvious that the white sash covered some kind of grievous injury, the thought of it made Kayla frown.

She stayed silent as Carl stared at her, his visible blue eye so much like his father's. He may be a child but Kayla didn't trust him to be anything other than a spy for his old man, so she waited to see where he was going with the conversation.

"He shouldn't keep you here." Carl added, shifting uncomfortably under her steady gaze. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"No shit." She muttered, looking back towards the cinderblock. They sat quietly, Carl leaning against the wall across from the locked gate, his long legs stretched out. He was flipping through a comic book as she pretended to by enthralled with her walls.

"Remember when we all went camping?" Carl asked, his voice tentative and posture nervous. Kayla swallowed through her dry throat and murmured, "Yeah. Yeah I do."

" 'member when my mom found out where we were stayin'?" he asked, a smirk evident in his tone. Kayla snorted, her mind going back to the horrible weekend spent covered in mosquitoes and eating burnt hotdogs. Lori hadn't realized when the men said camping it meant in the woods without a roof over their heads, things went downhill really fast.

"Oh yeah." Kayla spoke with a chuckle, "Never saw fireballs come out of someones eyes before."

Carl snickered, tossing the comic aside and leaning forward, "remember what Shane said?"

Kayla felt pain lance through her chest but she nodded slowly. Carl swallowed thickly before he did a poor imitation of Shane's southern drawl.

"Lori. Wha' part uh the outdoors involves four walls 'n uh roof? Ain't no roofs in the woods."

Kayla stared at him for a moment before barking out a laugh. Her eyes prickled painfully but she smiled at the memory. Shane had always been a smartass, it had gotten him in trouble his whole life. "Yeah.. yeah I remember that."

They both let the mood settle, Kayla holding back the urge to talk more. She had forgotten what it was like to know someone from before and now that she had a taste of revisiting the good old times, it was almost impossible to not continue the line of thought.

"Aunt Kay?" Carl murmured, his voice turning more than a little wary. The old nickname made her chest clench painfully, she longed for family and being so close to those who once were, made it all the worse. Peering over at him, Kayla could see his hesitation was more than just nerves, he looked guilty.

"What, Carl?" She asked, sitting up to look at him head on, the action making the teen look even more on edge. He wrung his hands, his gaze dropping to the cement in front of her. "I was there."

Narrowing her eyes, Kayla stood up and sauntered forwards, her hands resting lazily on the bars. "There?"

Carl peered up at her from the floor, slowly standing to look her in the eye. "When he died… I was there."

"What?" She started, choking on the anger filling her chest and bubbling up in her throat. Kayla felt outrage for the man murdering her brother but to do it in front of his own son? She began to see red.

"Dad didn't know I was there. I snuck out." Carl defended his father as he watched her begin to boil over. "I snuck out and I didn't see it but I was there after and then… when he turned-" Carl had continued speaking but Kayla began to zone out, her mind conjuring images of Rick killing her brother while his kid watched. Flashes of blood drenched hands and Shane's bloodless lips plagued her but it was the thought of his milky eyes and cannibalistic growls that pushed her over the edge.

"He  _let_  him change?" She hissed, her wild eyes blazing as she fisted the iron bars with bleached knuckles. Carl jumped back as she violently shook the doorway, kicking the metal barrier and screaming at the top of her lungs.

"That fucker! That fucking fucker let him change!" Kayla howled, as the front door opened and two guards came inside with guns raised. She watched them pushed Carl out the front door while they yelled at her to calm down. As she continued to kicking the gate with no control, they began arguing about what to do.

When the gate was opened and they stepped in to stop her from melting down, Kayla launched herself at them. Kicking her leg out, Kayla jammed her boot into one man's knee while elbowing the other in the ribs. The blonde man howled in pain as she slammed the heel of her hand into his nose causing blood to pulse out his nostrils. She wasn't a trained fighter but Shane had taught her self defense, she knew how to fight back.

"Fuck." He choked, spraying her with crimson as the other guard threw her to the ground.

The trio struggled for control but Kayla was eventually pinned to the ground as she snarled and squirmed. A knee dug into her spine as the men roughly bent her arms back to bind her wrists.

"Calm the fuck down." The man with dreadlocks growled, the plastic zip ties tugged so tightly her fingers went numb.

"Get fucked." She snarled, spitting out curses and threats as the men yanked her from ground, tossing her onto her mattress.

"What's the point of this shit, man?" The other guard bitched, his brow furrowed as he massaged his newly bruised ribs. Blood dripped from his chin as he pulled out a bandana from his pocket. Kayla sneered at him over her shoulder as they step away from the bed.

"He says we can't risk it." Dreads muttered, pushing his glasses up.

"You know that isn't what this is." The tall blonde muttered, locking the gate behind them. "Rick's losing it. We have bigger things to worry about than this chick."

"Yeah you should be worrying about who you're listening too, assholes!" She shouted, her hands struggling with the ties. "Rick's gonna get you all killed or fuck maybe kill you himself. You think I'm here for any goddamn reason other than him protecting his own ass?!"

The men didn't respond, both turning as the front door open to reveal the man in question. He was livid, his eyes glaring at her and then at the guards.

"How'd he get past you? He shouldn't have been in here." Rick barked, his gaze not leaving her struggling form.

"He ain't our kid man." Dreadlocks growled, pointing at her when adding, "we got other shit to do than guard this bitch. What's the point?"

"It's not up to you." Rick growled, pointing at the door, "go on and go home."

The two men huffed out irritated breathes, both glaring at her before they left. Kayla continued to struggle, her skin splitting under the sharp plastic.

"You're hurting yourself." He muttered, opening the gate carefully. She glared at him and sneered, "like you give a fuck."

"Of course I do. That's why I'm doing this." He muttered, before adding, "if I cut the ties off will you calm down?"

"Do it and find out." She hissed, her eyes blazing and teeth clenched. Rick sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Look Kay. I'm trying my best here. I just want you to have a safe place to live."

"Yeah I feel real safe hogtied in a fucking jail cell Grimes." She snapped, struggling with the plastic ties. "I don't wanna be here, your people don't want me here. Let me go you asshole."

"I'm doing this for your brother. He'd want you safe."

Sneering at him over her shoulder, "you can't even say his name.  _Shane_  wouldn't want me here. He wouldn't want me near you. You're a self righteous asshole who thinks he knows best when really you're just as fucking lost as the rest of us. You're pathetic."

Rick stared down at her with a frown, shaking his head slightly as she ranted.

"I wish I never knew you. I fucking wish I never stumbled near here." Kayla's anger was bubbling over again, her body struggling with the binds, "I swear if I get free I'm going to beat your ass into the ground. I'll finish what Shane wanted. I think he was on the right fucking track. I swear to fuck I'll burn this fucking place to the ground."

Rick backed up, the man obviously tired of her fiery wrath.

"Oh no, don't go Rick!" She screamed as he locked the gate without freeing her from the zip ties.

"I was just beginning to enjoy myself asshole!" She shouted, as the front door slammed shut.

* * *

Kayla woke up one morning to a man sitting beyond her cell door on a folding chair. She looked him over blankly but her insides were itchy and skin two times too small. It bothered her that she had no idea he was there while vulnerable. He smiled at her, the expression making her sneer. She sat up, her boots thudding heavily to the ground and rasp, "you some kinda perv?"

"No." he replied, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. "I was just waiting for you to wake. My names Morgan."

"Awesome, well here I am. Now what the hell do you want?" She barked, standing up with her fists clenched.

"I wanted to speak to you about you place here." Morgan replied, his mouth still curled up.

"My place here? You mean my cage? It's great thanks for asking." She snarked, crossing her arms across her chest. Kayla wasn't sure what the man's agenda was but whatever it was, she was going to dig her heels in at every turn. She didn't believe in doing anything easy when it came to the Alexandrians.

"I built it you know but it's not just a cage. It's a chance." He replied, sitting up to cross his own arms.

"A chance huh? What, for Rick to play cops and robbers?" She jeered, her nose wrinkled and mouth curled aggressively, "the only purpose of this room is to delay the inevitable."

"And what's the inevitable?" Morgan asked, a look of amusement crossing his face. Kayla came close and hissed, "you think I'm stupid? This is death fucking row. He doesn't want to let me go and I don't want to stay. Eventually the morons he calls family will get fed up with it. Feeding me? It's a waste of resources, man power to guard me? Waste of time. Anytime now I'll be marched out those gates and shot and you know what? Sooner rather than later sounds good to me. I'm bored as fuck and I'm tired of all you assholes looking at me."

When she stopped ranting, she realized she'd been stomping back and forth, pointing aggressively at him. Morgan smirked and shook his head, "you aren't on death row. This room is your chance to be a better person, to learn to live with others. All life is precious and you'll learn that too."

Kayla stared at him for a moment before she burst into laughter for so long that tears ran down her face as she watched him become irritated by her display. Snorting she shook her head and spoke with a grin, it was almost friendly but there was a meanness in the curl.

"You are one dumbfuck aren't you." She taunted, walking forward to grip the gate. "Let me guess you lost someone close and couldn't deal, right?"

The man's cheek ticked slightly as she continued to torment him. "Probably a kid huh? I bet you went crazy. All kinds of fucked up." Her face was mean and tone cruel. Kayla couldn't help it though, she knew it was shitty and she knew it was wrong but all she was filled with now was malice. She hated where she was and who she was with. She despised the fact her brother was dead at the hands of someone she had once loved like a sibling and if she could make everyone feel the pain she felt then maybe some day it wouldn't hurt anymore.

"You probably did all kinds of fucked up shit and then, what? Did you find  _jeebus_?" The woman sneered, her eyes burning bright and angry. "You born again?"

Morgan shifted his weight around, the man leaning away from her as she reached the gate. She wrapped her hands around the bars and growled, "I'm not going to change for you fucks. I'm not gonna forgive him and if I get outta this cell, I'm killing anyone and everyone who gets in my way."

* * *

Kayla had her feet tucked under the locked gate as she did crunches. Her hobbies for however long she'd been locked up was sleeping, eating and working out. The routines had built muscle mass, her arms lean and stomach ridged with a six-pack. She'd never been in good shape before, her brother having always been the sporty type, always making fun of her for being an uncoordinated mess. Now she would do situps and pushups for hours, her body trembling from the excursion but mind pleasantly empty. Her hair had grown out, the jagged mess from cutting it with a hunting knife now falling at her shoulders in smooth waves. She wore a plain set of cargo pants and a black tank-top, the cell hot and humid making her wish for air conditioning. Finishing up her set, Kayla stood while rolling her shoulders and doing a few stretches.

Kayla wasn't sure how long she had been kept in the cell but it had to have been a few months. The seasons had changed she knew that much, the days longer, the temperatures warmer. She could hear some activity in the tiny community, voices and shouts. There had been drama and deaths from what she could tell because there were a few days when no one came inside the house holding her cell. Days without food or water, smelling the disgusting bucket they made her use as a toilet.

When they eventually made it back to feed her, the guard's eyes were tense, some bloodshot and watery. Kayla couldn't help but sneer and snarl at them, to scream they brought it on themselves. She wanted to throw it in their faces and claim karma just to rub salt in their wounds.

They kept her prisoner for months for no reason other than Rick's misguided desire to keep her safe. He wouldn't let her go because of fear of her retaliating for Shane's death and he wouldn't execute her for no reason at all. She refused to be part of their community and when given the chance she attacked anyone stupid enough to trust her. Kayla was stuck in limbo, not a prisoner but still held captive.

The shouting started as she finished up her lunges, the sound of large vehicles and heavy feet thundered outside. Kayla knew whatever was happening outside wasn't a good sign for Alexandria. There was a thumping coming from the exterior door and a few shouts to open up. Kayla stood in the middle of her cell with crossed arms and snorted.

"Oh yeah I'll be right there," she muttered under her breath while listening to them holler. There was a loud crack as the door was smashed inward, wood splintering out and crashing to the ground.

She watched as two heavily armed men charged in only to stop short at the sight of the iron bars.

"What the fuck?" one drawled with a furrowed brow, his gun aimed at the ground.

"What the hell ya doin in here?" the other asked, his hand gripping the door, shaking it to see if it was actually locked.

"My taxes, what the fuck does it look like?" she snapped, her fists clenching. Kayla wasn't sure who the men were but if they got the gate open she may have finally gotten her chance to escape. She stood poised to fight or run, whatever got her out of the prison that had become home.

"Looks like they got ya caged up for somethin'. Whatcha do girl?" the first asked, his shoulder leaning against the bars.

Strolling forward, she bit her lip seductively and leaned into the door. "Come a little closer and I'll tell you."

The guy chuckled and he stepped closer, his mouth curling up to show off a set of yellow teeth. "Maybe she's in-house entertainment man."

He reached into the bars and tried to touch her face making Kayla hold back a sneer. Moving quickly she grabbed his cargo jacket and yanked him forward, the man's nose crunched into the bars causing blood to gush out of the broken cartilage.

"Fuck," he grunted while yanking himself out of her grasp. Pulling up his gun he snarled, "Bitch. I'm gonna waste you."

The sound of two sets of boots climbing the porch steps had everyone's eyes turning to the new arrivals. Rick walked in next to a very tall man, his dark hair slicked back and pitch colored eyes glimmering in amusement. The guy with the bloodied face lowered his gun and sneered, "This bitch broke my nose."

"Well, well, well." He drawled, ignoring the angry man, "What do we have here Rick? You one of those sick fucks who keeps girls chained up in your basement?"

Kayla watched Rick shifting in his own skin uncomfortably, his eyes so strained she wondered if they might collapse under the pressure.

"She is kept in here for her own safety. She isn't being abused."

"For her safety or yours?" the man mused, his hand rubbing his strong jaw thoughtfully, "How about you sweetheart, enlighten me. Why the fuck are you locked up like Hannibal Lector?"

"Can't you tell? I'm a danger to society." She quipped, strolling forward to rest her forearms on the bars, "or should I say, a danger to the United States of Rick."

The tall man barked out a laugh, his hand slapping Rick on the shoulder in amusement. "Fucking hell I like this chick Rick. Really why is she in here? I gotta know the fucking circumstance that led up to this shit."

"I'll tell you everything if you get me out of here." She replied evenly, her eyes drilling into Rick's. This was her chance, it wasn't now or never.

"Well." The broad shouldered man chuckled, his head thrown back as his eyes filled with mischief, "That sounds like a goddamn good deal. Don't you think Rick?"

"You aren't taking her." Rick snarled, his teeth clenched and hand clenching a baseball bat wrapped in barbwire, its surface coated red. Kayla's eyes trailed over the weapon hanging from Rick's angry fist, a chill running up her spine. She wondered if she had just made a grievous error. The man in leather was obviously a predator, his whole persona was lethal.

"What did I tell you about your attitude Rick." The man in leather drawled, his hand coming up to squeeze Rick's shoulder.

"She's my prisoner. I won't release her." Rick spoke calmer but his eyes were just as angry and begging Kayla to reconsider her offer.

"See that's where you're wrong. I own you and everything here. I'm letting you keep half. I could take anything and anyone I want with me. I could use the manual labor, a few of those guys out there look like they'd be good at digging trenches. That bitch with the dreadlocks could wash my mother fuckin' drawers." Negan explained with a chuckle, his shoulder leaning against the iron bars, "Or… you give me this here prisoner to do with  _whatever_  I please and I'll call it even-fucking-steven."

Rick glanced remorsefully at Kayla and she snorted, "You're such a piece of shit Rick. Don't pretend to give a fuck."

She knew he would trade her for the people he considered family. The man wouldn't think twice at handing her over to what seemed like his worst enemy. Kayla wasn't sure what would end up happening to her by going with the new man but getting out of the cell was all she cared about now. She didn't want to die in a cage like some animal. It was worth the risk.

"Wow, she's got your card doesn't she?"

"Kayla." Rick rasped, his head shaking while his eyes looked away.

"Kayla huh? I'm Negan."

"Awesome. Now let's get this show on the road, I'd like to see the sun before I die of vitamin D deficiency." She snarked while hiding the nerves that were now flooding her.

"She's feisty. Don't worry Rick, I'll take care of her like she was  _my own_." He leered with a shit-eating grin. Kayla couldn't help but wonder how much of his taunts were all bravado and intimidation tactics, the man pushing buttons to piss Rick off.

"If you lay a hand on her-" Rick threatened only to be cut off when Negan grabbed his shirt.

"What kind of monster do you think I am? I don't abide  _rapists_  Rick. That's a fucking death sentence in my camp. Got it?" he snapped, pushing him away, "Open the fucking door now."

Once the cell was open Negan told one of his men to tie her wrists up.

"Awesome. From one fucking cell to another huh?" she growled, as the guy yanked the zip ties around her wrists viciously. Grunting in pain she snapped her teeth at him like a feral animal. The guy jumped at her quick movement, which made her laugh, taunting him, "Pussy."

Negan smirked and glanced at Rick, "I'm beginning to see why you keep her locked up."

When they led her outside she was practically blinded by the bright sunlight. The cell provided some natural light but it was mostly shadowed and dimly lit. It was the first time she'd been outside in the fresh air in months.

Taking in a deep breath, her face titled up towards the sun, she sighed, "Jesus didn't realize I missed fresh air."

Negan cocked an eyebrow, "How fucking long did they have you down there?"

"A few months maybe more, I don't know. Too fucking long." She responded, walking down the steps into the tiny residential road. Everyone from town was kneeling on the pavement, their hands on their heads. She could see a few familiar faces, people that had given her food and guards that watched her cell. A few were people she'd attacked when given the opportunity.

They watched her walk next to Negan, their eyes worried for reasons beyond her.

"All fucking right." Negan hollered with a huge grin, "It's been lovely. Next time I show up you better have my half of the supplies ready to go. I'm not going to be so pleasant next time."

Rick stood near his kid, his striking blues eyes piercing her sharply. She glared at him in return and sneered, "Thanks for everything Grimes."

Negan chuckled, draping an arm over her shoulder to pull her tightly into his side. With a cheshire grin he taunted, "Don't worry Rick. I'll take  _good_  care of her and who knows maybe I'll let her visit if she's a good little girl." Grinding her teeth she pulled away from the man with a huff. He laughed loudly, his hand wrapping tightly around her bicep as he pulled her along.

Stopping in front of Rick, Negan put his hand out for his baseball bat. Once Rick handed it over, Negan leaned in and taunted, "In case you haven't caught on, I just slipped my dick down your throat, and you thanked me for it."

Smirking at Rick, Kayla couldn't help but find the whole situation amusing. She was used to everyone towing the line with Rick, it was nice to see someone else put him in his place.

Kayla was led towards the giant trucks parked inside the gates, her eyes scanning the kneeling people as she passed. She could see a few had cuts and bruises from dealing with the men but most were unhurt. It gave her a little hope that she wasn't being taken to a gruesome death but she remained careful.

"Hop on up darlin'." Negan instructed but smirked as she stared at the giant step warily.

"I'm not sure if you noticed but my hands are tied." She deadpanned dryly, flicking her hair out of her eyes.

Grabbing her under her arms Negan propelled her up into the cab of the truck before climbing in after her. Settling into the middle of the bench seat she tried to get comfortable with her hands tied behind her back. Grunting at the strain on her shoulders Kayla muttered, "Are the ties necessary?"

"Yes, until I know why you're such a threat to Rick the Prick." He responded before shouting out the window, "Come the fuck on your dickless wonders. ROLL THE FUCK OUT!"

The caravan pulled out of the gates and onto the roads littered with dead and burned out cars. Kayla kept her eyes open and tried to memorize any mile markers.

"Don't bother sweetheart." Negan remarked in a bored tone, pulling out a spare jacket, "See ya in a few hours."

Blackness took over as the jacket was thrown over her head making her growl. "Fucking bullshit." She bitched underneath the stifling fabric.

Negan chuckled, "Tough titties."

* * *

Kayla stood in a bathroom under a shower head expelling the most deliciously warm water she had felt since before the turn. A moan ripped out of her throat making her guard laugh. The woman was given the task of watching Kayla while she cleaned up, a rifle resting in her arms lazily.

"Been awhile?" Georgie asked while her eyes trailed over Kayla's naked form in a less than professional way.

"Could say that," Kayla muttered, while scrubbing herself down with a washcloth drenched in soap. After cleaning all the dirt and sweat off she scrubbed her oily hair roughly.

"How the fuck are you in such good shape after being locked up?" The guard asked, her eyes taking in the rippling muscles and flexing curves.

"Didn't have much else to do," Kayla responded, turning the faucet off, "Figured I'd eventually need strength to get out."

Drying off without any embarrassment Kayla began to get dressed when the woman asked another question, "Where'd you get the burns?"

"Stuck in a house fire," she responded, glancing in the mirror to see the thickened skin on her temple and neck. Her arms were patched with red swaths and even her ribs hadn't escaped the raging heat she had been trapped in.

"Let's go, the Boss is waiting for you," Georgie instructed motioning for the woman to exit the bathroom ahead of her. Sauntering out she was met with a male guard who ordered, "Wrists."

Rolling her eyes she turned around to let him bind her wrists, the skin around them becoming irritated and sore.

* * *

"Well don't you clean up nice," Negan complimented, while raking his lively eyes over her. She was wearing a clean set of jeans and a dark blue tshirt. Her hair was twisted back in several thick swaths, the wavy hair tamed into a ponytail. Kayla stood in front of him as he leaned against a large worktop strewn with maps and notebooks. Two men stood nearby, one with a heavily scarred face and the other wearing wire rimmed glasses.

Negan was still wearing his leather jacket despite the heat of the day, the stretch of the fabric showing off his size. Uncrossing his arms he stood upright, towering over her petite frame. Cocking his head to the side he scrubbed his salt and pepper covered jaw in thought. "we'll pick up in the mornin boys." He dismissed, his eyes remaining on Kayla.

Swallowing thickly she waited for what might come, the woman unsure of what fate was laid out before her.

The room was empty except for Negan and her, the silence so deafening Kayla could hear a high pitch ring in her ear. Nerves began to unsettle, a jittery sensation making her clench her fists over and over.

Negan sauntered closer, his long legs and heavy boots moving leisurely towards her. Soon he was within breathing distance, the smell of leather, gasoline and aftershave engulfed her. She ground her teeth when his thumb brushed across a burn scar on her forearm, before gripping her chin to turn her head towards the light. The burns on her temple and neck shiny in the camp lights.

"How'd this happen?"

"Does it matter?"

"Depends, did Rick do it?"

"No, he doesn't have the balls." She responded blandly, "a couple of assholes tried to burn me out of a house. They didn't realize how stubborn I am."

Negan huffed out a laugh, his grin softening his face and showing off straight white teeth and his dimples. She swallowed nervously again, the man's agenda was still unknown and all the smiles in the world wouldn't get her guard down. He was handsome though and it was disarming. There was an appeal, he was charismatic and Kayla couldn't help but feel her guard slipping despite her struggle.

"You kill those shitbags?" He asked stepping away, crossing to a makeshift bar on top of a rolling tool chest.

"Yeah, picked em off while burning."

"No need to brag." He drawled, motioning to the liquor, "drink?"

"Prefer a meal truthfully, haven't eaten since yesterday."

"They hadn't fed you?" He asked with a furrowed brow, "Jesus Rick really is an asshole. That's not fucking cool. Even I feed my prisoners."

Shrugging she didn't reply, instead she glanced around the workshop of sorts. There were a few strange looking machines as well as random appliances dismantled. A few generators and welding tools laying around.

"What is all this shit?" She asked her eyes returning to the man sipping a few fingers of amber liquid.

"I'd tell you but then I'd have to fucking kill you." He deadpanned before laughing heartily, "just kidding. We're working on biofuel and solar power."

Nodding she flexed her numb fingers, the new ties were tighter than the last pair. Negan's large hand gripped the plastic zip tie, snapping the bind with a switchblade.

"There." He rasped, his voice sounding very close behind her, "don't make me regret this shit. You saw Lucille. She will fuck you up if you fuck with me."

His head tilted to the side, motioning her to look at the brutal weapon propped against a chair. Clearing her throat she offered, "I'll take your word for it."

"Good girl." He murmured before clicking a button on a walkie talkie, "Carson, send up a meal ration. Over."

_"Yes, Sir, over."_

"Alright, tell me why you were locked up, I got a fucking pool going with the boys." He instructed, while leaning against the worktable.

"What happens once I tell you?" she asked, massaging her reddened wrists.

Negan watched the motion with a frown and replied, "Depends if I like what you say."

"What if you don't?"

"Who the fuck knows? Just tell me already, Jesus." Negan snapped, his eyes drilling into her.

Huffing slightly she explained, "Rick kept me there because he's a self-righteous asshole. He wanted me to be a part of his group and I refused. He wouldn't let me go because everyone feared I'd come back and fuck them up for holding me prisoner. He couldn't kill me because he's a giant pussy so instead he locked me up."

"But why go to all the hassle? Why insist you join them?"

"I knew him before all this shit. He was my brothers best friend." Her voice got rougher the longer she spoke, her throat almost closing at the word brother. Negan noticed of course but stayed silent as she got herself under control.

Clearing her throat awkwardly she continued, "in the beginning of all this shit they were together while I was stuck near Florida. I guess they had a falling out and it ended with Rick killing him."

Negan watched her carefully, his dark eyes watching her own eyes fill and chin wobble. "They found me too close to their camp and brought me back. Ended up seeing Rick and eventually he told me what happened. Wouldn't let me leave. He said he owed Shane to keep me safe."

Snorting, Negan crossed his arms and asked, "So his version of safe is locked in a basement?"

"Apparently." Kayla spoke dryly, shifting her weight from one foot to another as she waited for how he'd react to the confession.

"You did nothing else but show up?"

"Of course not. I fought every chance they gave me after he locked me up. Broke his nose numerous times, stabbed this big ginger with a fork. They could've let me go and saved themselves the hassle but didn't. I wasn't going to sit pretty and wait."

Sighing loudly Negan looked disappointed at the lack of excitment, "Well that's anticlimactic. I was expecting some tale of murderous rampages."

"Nope just Rick being a controlling asshole."

Negan scoffed and glanced at the door as a woman in lingerie brought in a plate of food. "What the fuck are you doing here Amber?" He growled, his eyes narrowing angrily.

"You've been gone all day," she whined in a childish tone making Kayla sneer.

Kayla watched as the overly made up blonde slide up to the tall man, her hands curling into his leather jacket. They kissed, Negan digging his hands into her hair as she moaned dramatically like a pornstar. Kayla rolled her eyes at the over the top noises and crossed her arms, looking away from graphic make out session.

Clearing his throat Negan rasped, "How rude of me, Kayla this is one of my wives, Amber. Amber, Kayla's new here."

The scantily clad woman gave her a deprecating smile but didn't respond. Kayla curled her lip in disgust, "clothing optional at this place?"

"I like my women to look good and I like the men to see what nice pieces of asses I get to fuck every night." Negan responded before ticking his head to the door, "go back upstairs Am, I'm working."

"But when-" she began but was cut off by Negan's roaring voice, "I said go upstairs Amber."

The woman's heels clacked on tile floor, the sound resonating until it disappeared.

"Eat." He ordered, plopping down in a leather desk chair, his long legs propped up on the corner of the table. Kayla sat down after picking up the plate of canned vegetables and beans. "Don't even think of stabbing me with that fork or I'll bash your pretty little head in."

"Don't worry about it." She mumbled through a mouthful, chewing thoughtfully. "Wives huh? Didn't have enough shit to deal with you wanted cat fight drama?"

Negan chuckled his head tilting to the side as he watched her eat. "I like variety and they don't fight with each while I'm there."

"And their ok with this set up."

"They're given the choice to be there. I don't force them to do anything." He responded his body relaxed back in his chair.

Humming at the statement she asked, "what now? I told you why I was locked up."

"Well now you can give me the ins and outs of Rick's little community." He explained with a shrug.

"I've been locked up since arriving there. I don't know shit about how he runs that place."

"Oh I bet you know more than you're letting on."

Shifting in her seat Kayla racked her brain for something of use but mostly she had the useless drama heard in passing.

"You done? I'll give you a tour of your new home?"

"Home? I can't just go when I'm done telling you shit?" she asked with a frown. Kayla had hoped she could get out of being involved with any group. It always lead to trouble, the living were much more destructive that the walking dead.

"No."

"So I'm a prisoner here too?"

"Not a prisoner who's locked up. You'll be another worker here and depending on yours skills I place you somewhere."

* * *

They were walking through a large administration building, each office having been turned into what looked like apartments. Negan pointed out the living quarters for his lieutenants and other saviors who work beyond the fences.

He explained that the lower floors housed the regular residents and people who had more important jobs, like doctors and facility work, the ones who kept the Sanctuary running. The ground level was divided into something close to a shanty town, the majority of the people had little to no skills.

He gestured to different amenities while strolling swiftly. Kayla had to speed up her steps to keep up with the man's long gait. They crossed through a pair of double doors and found themselves looking down at a large factories assembly line floor. There were huge piece of equipment that seemed unused but others that were hooked up to generators. The place smelled like gasoline and body odor.

"Sanctuary works on a point system." He explained as they watched a group of men stacking long wood beams. "Everybody has a job to do and they earn points from doing it." Negan strode along a metal walkway, Kayla in toe. "With those points you can buy food, clothes and whatever fucking else you want. It's just like the old world, you work so you get to eat. Got it?"

Nodding she looked down and saw a group of women pushing laundry bins towards another set of double doors below.

"Now most women that come in here are put in the fucking laundry, gardens or kitchens but I've got a feeling you'd be wasted there."

She snorted at the statement, "I'm not fucking domesticated."

Negan smirked slowly and drawled, "well color me surprised."


	3. Chapter 3

Kayla stood at the fence lined with undead, the men attaching a new writhing corpse. She cocked an eyebrow with crossed arms watching the men almost being bitten while working. Negan glanced at her and asked, "not a flinch? The guy almost dies and you just watch?"

"I don't know the fucker." She muttered with a furrowed brow. "That what you want me to do? Stop these idiots from being eaten? Because I'm probably the wrong candidate since I don't give a fuck."

Negan's eyes narrowed and he leaned towards her, "don't take my good sense of humor as permission to mouth the fuck off or I'll introduce you to Lucille, up close and fucking personal." Gripping the back of her neck, he pushed her towards the men working, "you're on wall duty. Listen to them and try not to die."

Kayla straightened up, her eyes not straying to the man glaring at her back. Clenching her fists she moved closer, a hand on her knife.

"Show her what to do boys." He ordered before walking away. The men glanced at her with weary eyes, one stepping towards her with a lascivious grin. "Well ain't you sweet."

"Shut up Lou." Barked a man with a dark complexion and giant beard. "Don't mind him. I'm Darius. That ginger fuck is Stevens and you met Lou."

"Kayla." She responded, her eyes trailing over the fence line. "So what? They're like sentries now?"

"Pretty much but also camouflage. The dead can't smell us through it." Stevens informed, wiping the sweat from his sunburned forehead.

"No one tries to break in neither." Darius added, pulling a corpse out of a pit to attach to the wall. It writhed and squirmed, its teeth clacking and throat snarling.

"Or out." Lou muttered, his eyes narrowing at Kayla, "you helpin' or not?"

"I can't help if you don't tell me what the fuck to do. I'm not up on my construct a wall of dead people guidelines."

Darius grinned, "help me hold 'em. Lou and Stevens will chain him up."

Kayla grabbed the struggling corpse by the arm, the flesh almost melting off in her hand. "Jesus fucking Christ." She groaned, while shoving it against the wall with Darius. It snapped its broken, rotten jaws at her while the other two men wound chains around its torso and legs. Thick gore slicked her hands as she gagged on bile. Kayla had been locked in a basement for months and hadn't been exposed to fragrant smells of undead in quite awhile. Her tolerance had dropped for the odor.

"Awww. Poor lil girl." Lou taunted, while giving her a shit eating grin. "This too gross for ya?"

"Fuck off." She grunted, pinning the dead limb for another moment before they declared it secure. "there's gotta be an easier way."

"Ain't no easy way." Darius muttered, wiping his hands off on a dirty rag before wandering to the pit containing more dead ones. Narrowing her eyes she watched him try to grab another before she hollered , "Stop."

She strolled over and asked, "you have an zip ties?"

"Um.. yeah. Here." Stevens offered, his hands digging through a tool chest nearby. "Use em for extra holds when they begin to slip on the chains."

Getting to the pit ledge, Kayla crouched down as the dead inside began grasping for her. Preparing a zip tie she chose a set of hands belonging to a old man. "Grab his left wrist, I'll get his right, we pull him up. I'll pin him while you two bind his wrist behind his back."

Grabbing the wrists, the men dragged the corpse out, Kayla stepping on its upper back to keep it from wriggling free. The men yanked its arms backwards, tightening the band around them, securing the writhing corpse before it escaped from Kayla's weight.

"Now what genius?" Lou snarked, "we can't tie it like, Boss man wants their limbs free."

"We will. Give me that bag" She muttered sliding the burlap sack of the dead guys head saying, "Now all we gotta do now is drag the fucker over there, hold him by the shoulders while one of us secures the chains. Cut the ties and done. No more almost bitten bullshit from their wiggling asses."

* * *

Soon the group became a well-oiled machine, the fence becoming thick with walkers. Darius began joking around with Kayla, a huge grin forming on his face while she laughed at his story about his little brother breaking and entering. Kayla smirked when the man told her, all his brother walked away with was a dog bite on his ass and a bag full of fake jewelry. It had been a very long since she had a friendly conversation or even laughed without a thin veil of malice, she couldn't help but enjoy it.

"So I ask him. Where'd ya find this shit? And he says, 'well funny thing, they kept it in the kids room and I'm like , 'Nigga this shits from the toy store in the mall. Ya robbed a damn Disney princess."

Snorting Kayla wiped her forehead with the back of her forearm, "poor kid probably cried for weeks."

"Nope. I made him drop that shit in their mailbox." He bragged, his grin growing, "then I took him on a real fucking job and got that bitch trained."

The men stopped working as Negan approached, Lucille resting on his shoulder. All three of them knelt as he sauntered up, Kayla standing there with an incredulous expression.

"Really?" She asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"Get the fuck down." Darius muttered under his breath, grabbing her wrist to yank her downwards. Rolling her eyes she made a show of slowly kneeling, her eyes locked with Negan's without bowing her head like everyone else.

"Well boys the fence is looking good." He drawled, his eyes scanning the long line of dead ones writhing against each other. "this is more than you got done all week."

"Kaylas been a big help, Sir." Darius spoke, his friendly eyes flitting to hers with a flirty smile.

"That so?" Negan murmured his eyes narrowing at the man before strolling down the fence line inspecting their work. Kayla wanted to mouth off, she was used to doing it to Rick and everyone from Alexandria, knowing they'd never actually kill her. Negan however, Kayla had a distinct feeling everyone was doing as he said for a reason. The man circled them like a shark in chummed waters, as if he were just looking for the weak one to eat.

"You enjoying your time on the wall Kayla?" He asked with amused eyes, "you a fan of dirty work?"

Smirking she replied, "It's at the top of my list of dream jobs."

Everyone around her went still, a tension was slowly ratcheting up as Negan stared at her. She didn't move her gaze away though, she kept her smirking eyes on the man towering over her. Slowly he smiled, his tongue sweeping his teeth and the ticked his head towards the building, "Shifts over. Go get some grub."

* * *

Walking into the large room that housed the makeshift kitchens, Kayla approached the women handing out food. She wasn't even sure how they kept track of points or how the hell they determined who got what but she was starving. As she reached the table, Georgie sided up to her.

"She gets credit for five hours on the fence." The redhead said, glancing at Kayla and explaining, "fence duty gets you hazard pay, same as scavenge. Garden and laundry is a shit wage since the worst that can happen is ya get worms or wrinkled palms."

Taking her ration, Kayla followed Georgie to a table, both women sitting across from each other. Georgie was a tall woman with fiery red haired and a plethora of freckles coating her nose and cheeks. She wore fairly clean clothing, worn but without holes. Kayla watched her spear food from her plate, her pale green eyes flicking around the room. She could tell Georgie was the type to know everyone and everything, she had observant eyes.

"You got a place to stay?" Georgie asked, chewing her food noisily as she looked over Kayla. Shrugging, she replied, "no idea."

"Boss tell you where you're working?"

"Nope." Kayla mumbled through a mouthful of food. "I don't know shit about shit around here."

Snorting loudly, the other woman rolled her shoulder and suggested, "room with me. My last roommate bit it."

"What a compelling offer." Kayla joked with a smirk, her eyes teasing. Georgie grinned widely showing off the little gap in her front teeth, "Smart ass. I didn't do it. Those shitheads from Alexandria did it. She was at the outpost doing maintenance on the generator, Jen hadn't even killed a biter before. Bastards killed her in her sleep."

Kayla's eyes narrowed and she asked, "Alexandrians did that?"

"Yep. Half the people at that outpost were grunts, idiots who cleared the woods of deadheads." Georgie drawled, shaking her head with something close to disgust. Swallowing thickly, Kayla glanced up as everyone knelt for Negan's arrival. Sighing inwardly, Kayla grit her teeth and followed suit. It was ridiculous and if she wasn't so sure Negan would put his size thirteens up her ass, she'd tell him to fuck right off.

"Good, Georgie got you situated then?" He asked, motioning for her to stand up, the man rolling his eyes. Cocking an eyebrow at him she nodded, a smirk pulling at her lips at the man's obvious distaste for the groveling.

Georgie nodded a few times before replying, "she's going to room with me until she's placed."

Negan nodded, a sly grin sliding onto his face, "Girl on girl. I like it. Maybe I can watch."

Georgie made a gagging sound and sneered, "No man meat in my bed."

Snorting he jeered back, his eyes flitting to hers, "Maybe Kayla likes man meat."

Kayla continued to chew her food, a blank expression sliding onto her face despite the nervousness rattling around inside. "I sleep alone." She muttered, before asking, "speaking of, I'm kinda tired. Where's this room?"

Negan grinned at her change of subject and instructed, "You're on scavenge tomorrow with Georgie. Simon's running it. Meet them outside in the morning."

Nodding in return the women stood to exit the cafeteria. Georgie glanced at Kayla as they left Negan's company and murmured, "if he asks, say no."

"Asks what?" She replied, with a furrowed brow and narrowed eyes.

Rolling her eyes Georgie muttered, "to be a wife. It's not worth it and you're capable enough to keep yourself alive."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"If you're a wife you don't have to worry about shit. Points, jobs, finding food. All you gotta do is spread those pretty thighs." She huffed, her nose scrunched up in distaste. Kayla frowned at the information. She had figured it was something like that but it didn't make it any less unappealing. The world was a fucked up place.

"I'm not a whore. Don't worry about it." She muttered as they climbed another set of stairs.

"Good." She replied with a smile, "I hope you don't mind sharing a bed, my rooms only got one."

Kayla's eyes narrowed and she growled, "if this is some fucked up ploy to get in my pants you're gonna be disappointed."

Georgie laughed loudly and she gave her a teasing look. "I don't need ploys to get in your pants. You'll beg me soon enough."

Kayla snorted as the other woman elbowed her playfully, mock glaring at her, "fuck off."

* * *

Walking through the sprawling warehouse, Kayla, Georgie and Darius split from the group to clear the dead and scout for supplies. The distribution center once served the northeastern coastline and despite it having been obviously raided at some point, the trio had found gear.

"So you and Georgie huh?" Darius asked Kayla as the piled a few boxes in the aisle. Snorting she dropped a large bag filled with beach towels onto the growing pile. "Why is everybody obsessed with my living situation?"

"Because you're hot and Georgie ain't so bad."

"Gee thanks asshole." The redhead deadpanned from above, tossing a box at the man's head. He chuckled slapping the cardboard away from his face. Georgie hopped down and snapped, "Let's grab this shit and head back."

"Don't be mad-." The man began as the women walked away but his voice was cut off with a loud crack and horrible groan. Kayla turned to find Darius on the floor with a hatchet spitting the back of his skull in half and two men holding guns on them. Shifting uncomfortably she flexed her fingers around the hilt of her knife.

"Uh uh uh." One noticed her actions, "raise those pretty little hands, doll."

Gritting her teeth she watched as Georgie followed his orders, the woman's anger palpable. One of the men shoved Kayla's roommate to the ground, Georgie slipping in Darius's blood. He began struggling with her as the other man approached Kayla, his handgun aimed at her forehead.

"We can do this the hard way or we can do this the worse way." He leered, his mouth curled and hungry.

Narrowing her eyes she growled, "If you think you're laying a finger on me you're a delusional fuck."

He took a swipe at her, the butt of his gun barely missing her temple as she ducked. Moving quickly she dove around the pile of gear, picking up Darius's rifle. Swinging around she landed the end of the rifle against her attacker's wrist knocking his gun away. He grunted, his other fist slammed into her jaw making her head snap back. Within seconds he pounced on top of her but Kayla was ready, her knife shoved upwards into his neck. She twisted it causing blood to fountain out of his throat onto her chest. Shoving him away Kayla climbed to her feet to find the man pounding on Georgie's face with heavy fists.

Picking up the rifle, Kayla swung high and hard, the heavy weapon cracking against the man's skull. He fell away from the injured woman, his eyes wide as Kayla towered over him with a maniacal sneer. Tossing the gun away she sauntered towards him.

"You're fucked." She growled before jumping onto the man's chest, her balled fist smashing him in the face. Kayla had knives and guns but her chest was filled with blazing coals and it felt good to hit something. Every inhale stoked the anger simmering in her gut, fury seeped from her pores and limbs as she pounded on his face until it collapsed.

The raging woman only stopped when her arms fatigued and she felt broken bones scraping across her knuckles. Georgie had moved away from the gory mess Kayla made, her face swollen and bloodied. Glancing behind her, Kayla found Simon and a few other Saviors staring at her. Her chest was heaving as she panted heavily, her hands and face soaked in the men's blood.

"What?!" She barked, climbing to unsteady feet. "Fuckers deserved it."

Simon slowly smiled and muttered, "That's gotta go on the wall, snap a shot of that Javier."

A Hispanic man came forward with a Polaroid camera, a flash went off and film was spit from the black box. He flapped it in his hands while he smirked at her. "Boss'll like this one."

Ignoring the men, Kayla flicked gore off her hands before wiping them on her pants, she looked over at Georgie and asked, "you good?"

"Yeah." The redhead croaked, one of the men helping her to her feet. "Thanks."

"No problem."

* * *

On the ride home Georgie received first aid from a Savior that was once an EMT. He offered Kayla help with her bruised and bloodied hands but she blew him off. She couldn't shake the adrenaline from killing the men, the steady buzz in her veins making her leg bounce and eyes jump around. Kayla could feel eyes on her but she avoided making any eye contact. She didn't regret what she did, not by a long shot but she knew it wasn't just because the men deserved it. Kayla had been picturing all the people that had pissed her off. She was thinking about her dead brother and his murderer, the long jail sentence and the people that had held her captive. Past injustices boiled up and she poured every ounce of rage into that man's face, her bare fists turning it into ground beef. Even with that outlet, Kayla could still feel the anger simmering under the surface. If she didn't work through it sometime, the woman was pretty sure it might just burn her up from the inside out.

Kayla sat in the medical bay as the doctor looked over her hands, Simon having insisted on her being checked for broken bones. She had rolled her eyes at the order but followed his direction to the office.

The doctor felt her knuckles, rotating her fingers and wrist before cleaning and bandaging her hand. She was diagnosed with a minor sprain and cuts and contusions but all would heal just fine. Georgie was laying on a cot nearby getting stitches when Kayla left the medical office. She dipped her head as she thanked her again, muttering a 'see you later'.

As she reached the floor that the women resided on, Kayla found Negan leaning against her doorway, Lucille propped against the wall. He grinned at her as she approached, his head cocked to the side as he looked over her wrapped hand and bloodied clothing.

"Well don't you look like you had fun out there." Negan teased with a wicked grin and amused eyes. Kayla huffed out a breath, tossing her weapons belt to the bed, "Oh yeah tons of fun."

The man laughed, sitting down on their bed as if he were in his own home. Kayla stood in front of him, her arms relaxed but posture stiff. She still wasn't sure what Negan's motivation was, the man held his cards close and Kayla was secretly waiting for the day she was locked in a cell again.

Negan pulled out the polaroid Javier took and flipped it around so she could see the destruction she caused. It was a mess of blood and gore, swollen bruised eyes and caved in nasal cavity.

"Why didn't you just shoot him? Simon said you had a gun." He asked with a cocked eyebrow, waving the picture closer to her face as if she couldn't see it.

"He deserved it." She growled turning her face away from the gruesome snapshot, her injured fist tightening despite the pain shooting up her forearm.

Negan nodded but she could see he knew why she did it, the man knew vengeance and spite. "I'm not denying that but it would've been easier and safer to shoot him."

"I enjoyed it, that what you want to hear?" She barked crossing her arms in an effort to keep distance from him. "I pictured Rick's stupid face and drove my fist through that fucker's head. If I could've, I would've torn it off his goddamn shoulders."

"You've got an anger problem I don't know about?" Negan drawled a knowing grin sliding onto his too handsome face. It was disarming and Kayla couldn't help but snark, "I think you're fully aware now right?"

Negan grinned crookedly, glancing down at her bandaged hand, "is it broken?"

"Not really."

Laughing at her nonchalant attitude he asked, "did you see doc?"

"Yeah. It's fine."

"Good. You're with me tomorrow. I'm taking a group east, towards the coastline." He instructed, standing from his spot on the bed. "We leave at sunup."

* * *

The scouting mission had been without any excitement and had gone flawlessly until their trip back towards Sanctuary. Negan was driving a large military truck with Kayla and a savior called Sacks when a herd seemed to appear from nowhere. The group traveling behind them was cut off, leaving the trio to move on without them. Soon though they were pushed off their route and onto the back roads as the dead took over the surrounding area.

"Goddamn meatbags," Sacks bitched, rolling down his window to slam a machete into a biter clinging to the rearview mirror. Kayla looked over the map for a route out of the boonies and onto another highway leading towards Sanctuary.

"Anytime now doll." Negan growled as he plowed through a group of shambling corpses, congealed blood splashing cross the windshield.

"Maybe… turn right at the stop sign." She muttered, inwardly crossing her fingers that the tiny road led to where she thought it did. As they bumped along the dirty road, the unmaintained routed rutted with potholes.

Grunting as the truck dipped with an impressive crack in the pavement, Negan bitched, "Great choice darlin'. Feel like I'm getting fisted by the hand of God on this road to nowhere."

Kayla snorted loudly and muttered, "Sorry the gps didn't tell me it was under construction."

Negan glared at her but she watched his lip twitch, a smile tugging at his mouth. Kayla cocked an eyebrow as Sacks suddenly exclaimed, "Watch out."

The truck ran over a group of biters but instead of passing over them easily, the truck's tires tangled up in chainlink fencing. The dead had gotten stuck in it at some point, the group dragging it around behind them.

"Fuck." Negan growled at the truck ground to a halt, its wheels digging into the mud and gore of demolished corpses. Climbing out of the large vehicle Kayla took watch as Sacks began cutting away the fencing tangled around the wheels. Negan slammed Lucille into a biter who wandered to close, a sharp crack of bone and wet splatter making her grimace. Kayla was stabbing her way through two more when Sacks screamed out, a corpse tangled in the wheel well had not been killed by the vehicle and bit into the meat of his thigh.

"Goddamn it." Negan shouted, jamming Lucille through the dead ones head as Sacks fell backwards to the ground. The large man ripped the cargo pants open to see the deep wound, bone and muscle showing gruesomely.

"Fuck." Sacks moaned, laying back on the ground in defeat. Negan frowned and confirmed what they all knew, "We can't save you man."

"I know." The injured man groaned, his hands clenched into tight fists. "Just do it. Tell Shelly I went out fighting, not dying like some pussy."

"I'll make sure she's taken care of." Negan muttered, his eyes glancing at the gushing wound.

"Not as a wife." Sacks moaned, pain taking over his face, "Don't do that to me man."

Negan looked at her self consciously and then murmured, "I wouldn't do that to you or Shelly. Don't worry about her alright?"

Nodding Sacks groaned, "thanks man."

Nodding Negan pulled out a knife and pressed it at Sack's carotid artery. "Close your eyes brother."

Kayla looked away as the man choked, the sound echoing on the street as more dead began to trickle out from the surrounding woods. "We gotta go." She murmured, approaching another set of undead bastards.

"The trucks fucked." Negan drawled, kicking the flattened tire. "We gotta hoof it."

Both grabbed their bags from the truck cab and began jogging down the roadway. They avoided the incoming horde, both pushing their way through groupings of undead. Kayla slammed a knife into yet another temple as the sound of Lucille smashing skulls and butchering the biters rang out behind her.

Eventually the road was clear and the pair made it to a long stretch of open highway. "There isn't shit around here. We need cover for the night." Negan instructed, pointing to the shape up ahead. "It's gonna have to be that."

"A van, that's not a real shelter." Kayla muttered as they approached it.

"Tough shit. You wanna climb a fucking tree have at it." He barked, jogging down the street.

Inside were two walkers, both writhing in their seatbelts. Negan yanked one out, slamming his boot through it's skull as Kayla did the same with the other only jamming her blade into its temple.

"Smear the windows." He ordered, grabbing the corpse by its shoulders to drag its destroy face over the dirty glass. Blood and brain coated the doors and windows, the thick fluid blocking the view inside and hopefully covering their scent. Kayla took the jacket from her dead corpse, using it as a paint brush for her side of the van. Soon the windows and doors were smeared with the gore and both climbed inside to huddle down for the night. Negan used a tiny flashlight to look over the map, his dark eyes scanning the possible routes to Sanctuary. He muttered a few curses and bitched, "You sent us up shitcreek without a paddle."

"Don't blame me, I have no sense of direction." She replied, leaning back against the passenger seat.

"You should've fucking told me you suck at basic map reading." He barked, pointing at her angrily, "You got Sacks killed."

"Fuck off. I did not"

"What did you just say to me?" he growled, his eyes growing darker and more than a little dangerous as his body seemed to loom over her.

A thump outside got both their attentions, Kayla's eyes peeking outside to see the herd had caught up to them. Ducking down she motioned for Negan to hide also, whispering, "Herd."

They both laying side by side on the floor as the dead shuffled passed. Kayla glanced at Negan who was picking gory tissue off of Lucille's barbs. Wrinkling her nose at him, she tilted her head up to see into the rearview mirror. The dead were still pouring by, their rotting faces passing along side the van. She could hear broken fingers and jagged teeth scraping just inches from her head.

Chewing her lip she tried to not think about how fucked they were if the horde noticed them but the effort to forget made it worse. She could feel her usually suppressed anxiety disorder flair up with a vengeance. Her fists tightened as breathing became impossible.

"Hey." Negan whispered, his voice barely noticeable because her panic was growing exponentially, her heartbeat thundering in her skull. Kayla finally glanced at him with wild, panic filled eyes, her teeth biting her lip white. Moving to his side, Negan braced himself over her causing her anxiety to worsen.

"Shh." He hissed, while propped over her "shut the fuck up."

Kayla's eyes teared up, her vision blurring as she swallowed a sob. A hand cupped her face and Negan's mouth was next her ear. She could feel his hot breath as he rasped, "It's alright. Calm down."

"C-can't." She stammered, her teeth chattering and voice cracking. His hand covered her mouth instantly, his eyes flicking to the window above them, the sound of the dead increasing. Kayla squeezed her eyes shut and felt tears streaming down her temples and pooling into her ears. She felt fragile and stupid in front of a man who would probably exploit such a sign of weakness. Negan's hand slid from her mouth, his thumb brushing the wetness away.

"Shhh." He hushed, his tone softer than before. "Deep breath."

"And count." She murmured, her brother's voice as rough and gentle as always in her mind. Her eyes slid shut but without the tension of before. Relaxing into the habit, Kayla had counted to fifty when Negan asked, "what do you mean count?"

"Something my brother always told me. Count to a hundred. Helps with stress." She confessed, her eyes flicking away from him.

"You mean panic attacks."

"That and anger issues." She added, her lips twitching at the confession.

Negan pursed his lips to hold in a laugh, his eyes gleaming down at her. "No shit? you have anger problems" He joked sarcastically, "never would've noticed."

Rolling her eyes she felt her pulse slowing down and breathing return to normal. Kayla peeked up at him under her lashes, the need to look but the embarrassment of her panic attack making her shy.

'Jesus get over yourself Kay.' She scolded herself inwardly.

"You're fucking hot you know that?" Negan rasped, his voice rough but tone soft.

"Shuddup." She whispered, a blush crawling up her neck to paint her cheeks. He laughed quietly, his chest brushing hers at the movement. "Even more so when you blush like a girl."

"Fuck off." She muttered, her eyes betraying her angry tone. Kayla was enjoying his teasing, it was taking her mind off the impending death beyond the inches of steel and plastic.

"Probably a bad idea with the whole herd thing. Maybe later you can watch me fuck off."

Clenching her teeth to keep from growling she relaxed back into the floor, her mind forcing her body to loosen up. Negan stayed hovering over her, his dark eyes following her every movement.

"Feel better?" He murmured, rolling onto his back slowly.

Humming in response she turned her head to look at him. "Thanks."

"Don't come expect it." He sneered, the man seemingly tired of being pleasant.

"Never." She deadpanned quietly, closing her eyes to rest while they waited.

* * *

The sun had set hours ago and the herd had finally moved on. Kayla and Negan stayed put opting to travel when they could see their surroundings. They shared a protein bar and the last of their water, both sitting silently chewing.

"Get some sleep." He spoke after a long silence as he leaned against the drivers seat, his arm propped on his bent knee. Kayla watched him out of the corner of her eye, as he kept watch. The man was good looking, the salt and pepper scruff taking over his face and neck only adding to it. She swallowed thickly as she noticed the way the muscles in his forearm flexed while he cleaned Lucille's handle.

"Stop staring. It's fucking creepy." He rasped without looking up.

Kayla blushed but denied his statement. "Why would I stare at you?"

Negan snorted, a crooked grin gracing his face, his teeth shining bright despite the shadowed interior of the van. "Because you want me."

Scoffing, Kayla rolled her head against the door to peer over at him. "Oh yeah?"

"Abso-fucking-lutetly. I bet you're all kinds of damp for me right now."

"Fuck off perv." She growled, her look of revulsion a cover for the reaction his words caused, squeezing her thighs together self-consciously.

"Riiiiiight. I'm the perv. You're the one undressing me with your eyes." He drawled, wiggling his eyebrows comically.

Laughing quietly she rolled her eyes and joked, "what do you expect when you dress like that? You're just asking for it."

Negan was quiet a moment before he barked out a laugh and his eyes gleamed with amusement. "That... Right there. That is why I wanna keep you around. You're fucking hilarious."

"Gee. I thought it was my tits and ass." She deadpanned, her cheeks warming at his words.

"Those are definite bonuses." He drawled with a shit eating grin, his lean body stretching out across the ground. "Like perfect handfuls in both regions."

Rolling her eyes, her gaze landed on the window instead of his charming grin and appealing eyes. The man was dangerous in more ways than Kayla had thought, she felt as if she were in way over her head.

"Mmhmm." She hummed, relaxing back against the door. Negan settled down also adding quietly, "Seriously no one has the balls to joke around with me like you."

"Probably because you beat people to death with Lucille." Kayla replied before she could stop herself, her body cringing at the possible misstep.

"Only when they deserve it." Negan muttered, his brow furrowed.

Laughing dryly Kayla offered, "But you decide that so it could literally be whoever and whenever you want."

They sat silently a moment when he asked, "So why aren't you scared?"

Kayla shrugged lazily even though her insides were jittery and unsettled, "Truthfully I have no idea. Maybe I'm not scared of dying."

"You want to die?"

Shaking her head, Kayla really thought about it. It had occurred to her several times since the world went to hell. After Fort Benning fell and she was running for her life, she thought about it and after finding Atlanta burned to the ground Kayla almost gave up. The last time she contemplated it was after finding out how Shane died but she didn't go through with it and she didn't think she could. It was against her nature to give up, she was too damn stubborn. "No it's just that it's gonna happen eventually."

"So you'll just give up."

"No. I'll fight to live but if you decide to beat my skull in, there isn't much I can do about it."

Negan stared at her with tense eyes for a long heartbeat and then muttered, "I won't brain you."

"Good to know." She whispered, her eyes flitting over the man looking back at her.

The vehicle was silent for a few minutes when Negan asked, "are you and Georgie fucking?"

Scoffing, Kayla glanced over, "is that the rumor?"

"Pretty much. Personally I think you're a cock slave and not a muff diver but some think it's why you're rooming together." He drawled with a shrug of nonchalance but Kayla could see he was just as eager to know her personal life.

"Cock slave?" She asked with an incredulous look. "Does it matter if we are?"

"No but I was going to ask you to be a wife." He replied, mischievous eyes watching her every move.

"No thanks." Kayla replied her nose scrunched up in distaste.

"Because you're a carpet muncher?"

"Jesus Negan. Can't you just say lesbian?" she exclaimed, her brow furrowed.

"No. Come on tell me. Do you smoke pole or eat tacos?" He mouth curling into a wolfishly grin and his eyes playful. Kayla laughed despite herself and shook her head. "I'm abstinent."

"Fucking liar." He huffed, crossing his arms and frowning.

"I'm not a lesbian but I'm not looking for a man alright?" Kayla sighed, the night turning a little too weird. She hadn't expected to gossip about her sex life with the leader of Sanctuary.

"Fine. But I think you'd be a great addition." He replied, one eyebrow raised as if hoping she'd change her mind.

"What for your trading card collection? I'm not a fucking flavor of the week. It won't happen," She growled, the idea of being one of a man's harem making her sick. "Ever."

"Jesus. Calm your tits. Just offering you a safe place to live and food to eat without needing points."

"And an obligation to 'smoke your pole'." She snarked with a disgusted look in her eye.

"I don't force anyone to do anything. I offer shelter, food and whatever else they fucking want. All they gotta do is be a wife. Cook, clean and put out. Just like any other marriage."

"Whatever." She muttered, "I'm not going to argue with you. If those bitches wanna sell their pussy rather than take care of themselves, good for them. But I'm not weak and I can take care of myself. If I'm going to fuck someone it's going to be because I want to, not because I have to."

"So you don't want to fuck me." He asked, his tone teasing and eyes amused at her rantings.

"No." she huffed, slumping back against the car seat heavily.

"Liar." He laughed, wiggling his eyebrows again.

"Keep telling yourself that." She muttered dryly being unsure if she meant the words for herself or him.


	4. Chapter 4

Negan and Kayla had been hiking all day and were no where near returning to Sanctuary. They hadn't had any luck finding a working vehicle with gas and the dead were still inundating the area.

In the early evening Negan spotted a camp fire, the man determined to see if it were his men, led them through the woods to a national park camping ground. As they approached, Negan crouched within eye shot as Kayla clenched her jaw so tightly the joint popped with tension. It was a bad idea and she knew it, Kayla had lived on her own for a long while and approaching a camp of strangers near dark was a big no-no.

"We need to go." She whispered, yanking on the back of his jacket in desperation. He smacked her hand away and muttered, "Stop it. I don't know them but they have supplies."

"Who cares. We have enough shit. We  _need_  to go." She hissed, her wild eyes jumping to the men beyond the trees.

"Their shit, is my shit. They need to know I own everything around here." He growled, his dark eyes drilling into her as she ground her teeth anxiously.

"I swear to god this isn't worth it. We can come back with more men."

"Pfft. Me and Lucille can take these dumbfucks."

Kayla pulled on his arm, "don't do this."

"You tryin' to tell me what to do doll?" He hissed, slapping away her hand again. Negan's mouth opened to speak but the sound of a gun cocking behind them had both freezing solid.

"You probably should've listened to your girl there chief." A large bald man in a filthy tshirt and cargos. Kayla kept her handgun trained on the men, her finger sliding over the trigger, preparing to fire.

"Let's go ahead and put them weapons on the ground." Their leader instructed, nodding his head to Negan's hand, "put your little stick down before I decide to be less than friendly."

Negan's eyes were dark and mouth scowled at the man's words. Kayla could see the gears turning in his head but knew that he was aware they were in a losing situation. They were surrounded, out manned and out gunned, there were no options. Negan did it everyday to everyone he came upon and now they were falling to the same fate. Kayla couldn't help but think to herself wryly, 'karma's a bitch.'

The group of men disarmed them both, Kayla's bag and gun stripped away as well as her hunting knife. Negan was kneeling near the fire as the men tossed his gun and switchblade aside, Lucille ending up in one of the men's hands. Negan glared as the guy swung it around with a grin. "I think I might just keep this." He drawled, his eyes holding a sadistic glint. "I bet this sumbitch can really clock someone."

"You'll find out soon enough fuckwit." Negan snarled, his words earning a hit with the end of a shotgun. Kayla cringed at the horrid sound of wood hitting bone.

"Well here I was thinking about the lack of pussy in the world and one just wanders into camp." The bald leader drawled with a chuckle, his hand smoothing down a scraggly mustache. His men leered at her, most of their eyes trailing over her before flicking to Negan in amusement.

"She yours chief?"

Negan's eyes were drilling into hers, regret shining bright but rage snuffing it out quickly. "Yes." He hissed, "you lay a hand on her and I'm tearing your nuts off through your fucking throat."

The men were quiet a moment until they all laughed like hyenas. Kayla chewed her cheek harshly as she tried to figure out just how they were escaping their predicament. She knew first hand that Negan was a capable fighter and she felt confident in her own skills but they were stuck between a rock and a hard place, too many men and too many weapons. Without notice, Kayla was yanked backwards by their leader, his hand gripping her throat and arm wrapping around her stomach.

"M'touchin' her chief and soon I'm gonna be fuckin' her…  _hard_." He sneered over her shoulder at Negan who was now pinned to the ground as he struggled. Their eyes met for a moment before she was tossed inside a tent, her hands barely catching her face from hitting the ground. Two men entered the tent as she scrambled backwards.

"Wait." She gasped, her hands up and eyes jumping around for an escape or weapon.

"Wait for what sweetcheeks?" He growled, approaching her slowly while the other man seemed to circle the other direction. Kayla could hear Negan cursing up a storm and the sound of fists hitting flesh.

"Just… wait." She stammered, her foot tripping over a sleeping bag. The men were on her before she could catch her breath, one gripping her throat and the other tearing at her clothes. She snarled and kicked, her nails clawing at their faces. The man holding her down lost his grip as she jammed her thumb deep into his eye, the orb gushing blood at he howled like an animal. A fist landed on her jaw but Kayla kicked her leg up and out, her heel clipping the bald man in the face. With her attackers distracted she pulled the spare blade from her boot, slashing at them violently. Blood splashed the tent walls as she swiped the sharp blade across the leaders face and neck. Kayla almost lost her control, the urge to butcher them for touching her almost overwhelming, without hesitation she had slit their throats and buried her knife into their temples before the other men knew what was happening.

She could still hear Negan struggling with the men outside. Picking up the man's gun, she cut through the back of the tent and slid into the woods to circle around the camp. She found the three men kicking and hitting Negan with what looked like a crowbar. Frowning at the scene, Kayla took aim, using the skills Shane had taught her all those years ago. The first shot landed in the center mass of the man slamming the crowbar onto Negan's hunched back and before he dropped to the forest floor, the second attacker took a hit to the neck, the man gurgling loudly. The third man spun around, pulling his own weapon only to be tackled by Negan. The man in leather began pummeling him with his bare fists, a wet meaty sound filling the clearing.

Kayla moved forward quickly her eyes scanning the woods for any other unseen men and walkers. She watched as Negan picked up Lucille, his hands smoothing over her looking for damage. With just a moments pause he brought the barbed weapon up and over his head, slamming its brutal end into the dead men's skulls. Blood arced out, the thick liquid sizzling in the fire pit and splattering his face and chest. Swallowing thickly she looked away as he destroyed all three of the men, leaving only puddles where their heads should've been.

As she reached Negan's side his eyes jumped to her, the rage filled irises scanning her for injury. Kayla had never seen him look so feral, so overwhelmed with rage. His eyes were black, the pupils wide with fury and vengence.

"We need to go, it's almost dark and the corpses are going to be all over us with those gunshots." She muttered, picking up her bag and collecting the men's supplies. Negan wandered over, wincing at the injury to his back.

"Are you good?" She asked while shoving another gun into her bag. When she was met with silence she glanced up to see Negan striding to the tent. Tearing open the fabric door he stomped inside, Kayla soon hearing fractured bones and the wet sucking sound of Lucille gutting their skulls.

Negan exited the tent, his eyes meeting hers quietly for a long tense moment. "They touch you?" He rasped, clearing his throat roughly, Lucille dripping a steady stream of gore onto the forest floor.

"I didn't let them." She replied, her eyes blazing as anger for the man's actions began to take over, "no thanks to you I might add. We could've walked away but nooooo, you need to take everything, everything yours. Are you happy? Huh? Was it worth it?"

Stomping forward Negan grabbed her by the jacket and shook her violently, her head whipped back and she bit her tongue. Blood coated her mouth, the bitter liquid making her grimace. "Watch how you fucking speak to me." He snarled, his eyes drilling holes straight through her.

"I saved my ass and yours  _Sir_." She sneered, her temper was getting the better of her and with what she just went through, Kayla's filter had turned off. "I think I deserve to be a little fucking pissed off. You nearly got me raped and murdered."

Negan's teeth ground loudly as he glared at her, "What-fucking-ever, they're dead now and deserve to be."

"Yeah well it could've be done when we had back up. We could've come back with more men." She muttered, yanking away from his grip. "Let's just go already. I'm fucking tired of this shit."

They cleared the camp of gear and supplies, both hauling an extra duffle bag of weapons and food. The pair hiked back towards the road and began searching for a usable vehicle before it was pitch black out. Kayla kept her mouth shut and teeth tightly clenched, the whole event making her angry but more than anything she felt the fear still trickling down her spine. The adrenaline was ebbing from her system and causing the jitters, she had to tighten her hands into fists to keep the tremors away.

'Fucking selfish asshole.' She thought with a curled lip, her eyes narrowed and dark.

Negan's gaze kept landing on her but she ignored it, focusing on their surroundings instead. The sun had set and the only light they had was the half moon reflecting off the cloudy sky, it would be incredibly easy for something to sneak up on them.

"Who taught you to shoot and fight?" He asked after a long silence, the man's face splattered with blood and bruised from being hit.

"My brother." She replied, without glancing at him, her voice hoarse from dehydration. Negan stopped her, handing over a bottle of water. "Drink."

Sighing, she took the container and couldn't hide the shaking as she tried to sip from the bottle.

"Let me-." Negan tried to help her but she yanked away from him.

"I got it." She snarled, chugging some before thrusting back at him without meeting his eye, her hand shaking without control.

"It was close in there wasn't it." He muttered, his eyes flitting over her face and neck. She could feel her jaw swelling and the places of her neck that were gripped with tight fingers was surely bruised.

"Does it matter?" Kayla rasped back, her eyes finally meeting his. "We got their shit and they're dead like you wanted. Does it matter?" She repeated.

Negan stared at her a long silent moment before he shrugged, a scowl deepening on his face as he replied gruffly, "No, I guess it doesn't."

Turning away from her, he motioned to the traffic snarl up ahead. "There's probably something useable up there. Let's go."

Kayla watched him walk away, her hand resting on the hilt of her handgun. It would be so easy to shoot him in the back of the head and walk away from everything. She could be free of everyone and everything. No more Sanctuary, no more Alexandria. Kayla could clean the slate and start over somewhere else, with no one else.

Her feet seemed cemented with indecision until his voice caught her attention. "You comin'?" He hollered, a eyebrow cocked high as he looked at her hand resting on her holster. "You're thinkin' real hard back there Kay. Wanna tell me about what?"

"I'm thinking I need to drive this time since you're shit at it." She replied, her hand falling away as she followed him to the car. Kayla didn't know what would happen to her in Sanctuary but she knew what would if she left on her own. They had just experienced what was waiting for her beyond the walls of Negan's reign, she might get lucky again and save herself, but eventually she'd be killed by some monster. Better the devil she knew than the ones she didn't.

Negan smirked at her and taunted, "probably better I navigate since you don't know your left from your right."

"Fuck off." She snapped, her eyes amused as the anger drained from her. Negan grinned at her with his messy hair, his jawline was scraped and bloodied, his eyebrow was split open and scabbed but she couldn't help but feel an attraction to him. His smile was infectious and as he crouched into the drivers side to hotwire the car she watched as his shirt rode up, showing off lean muscle and narrow hips. Biting her lip she let her eyes trail over the exposed skin and flexing muscle, her neck heated as her thighs clenched. When he glanced back at her with a grin, she looked away with flushed cheeks. The car revved up loudly causing her to make eye contact with him again while chewing her lip nervously. She hoped he hadn't caught her checking him out because all she needed was to give him more ammunition to tease her about her sex life.

"Ready to go home doll?" He asked with a sly grin, "I really will let you drive."

Clearing her throat she dipped her chin passively agreeing to Sanctuary being considered home. Sliding into the drivers side she adjust the seat and pulled away, following the man's directions while avoiding his gaze. It had been a long trip and more than anything, Kayla wanted to hole up in Georgie and hers room for a few days to sleep.

* * *

Sighing loudly Kayla plopped down on the bed next to Georgie. The redhead was still healing from the attack in the warehouse, her face bruised and lip stitched together.

"Long day dear?" She asked over the top of her book. Kayla snorted and glanced at her with a sidelong glance. "You've got no idea."

"I was a little worried when the others came back before you." Georgie muttered after they lay silently, "what happened?"

"Herd, then car trouble. Then Sacks died and we were on foot. Ran into some unfriendlies."

"We?"

"Me and Negan."

Georgie cocked an eyebrow and asked, "sounds fun."

Rolling her eyes Kayla curled up on her side and mumbled, "don't be jealous. I like you better."

Laughing Georgie asked, "you just wash your hair?"

"Yeah why?" Kayla peered up at the redhead as she tossed the book aside.

"It smells like fruit pebbles."

"I need a hair cut. Its all kinds of fucked."

"I can trim it." Georgie offered with a raised eyebrow. "And I can braid the sides again for you."

Nodding Kayla sat up as Georgie moved a folding chair to the center of the room. Kayla sat down as the other woman retrieved a pair of scissors and a comb. Slowly she began cutting away a few inches of length in sections, Kayla dozing as she relaxed. It had been a long time someone had touched her in a friendly way, something other than violence or perversion motivating the gesture.

"So these unfriendlies responsible for those bruises?" The woman behind her asked, the snip of scissors following her question.

"Yeah. It was a close one." She mumbled, moaning a little as Georgie raked her fingers through a few knots near the base of her skull. When she paused, Kayla apologized, "sorry."

"Why because you sounded hot?"

"Don't want to led you on." Kayla muttered, her eyes drilling into the floor as Georgie continued to cut locks off.

"You aren't. I know we're just friends." She replied but added, "but you know if you ever change your mind… or maybe if you want to… release some stress…"

Kayla smirked at the woman's words, her tone sounding hopeful but also teasing.

Smirking over her shoulder Kayla offered, "if I decide to switch teams, you'll be the first to know."

Georgie smiled at her widely, the little gap in her teeth making Kayla smile back. She had to admit the woman was cute but she hadn't ever thought about swinging the other way. Before the world ended she lived in a small town surrounded by rednecks and bible thumpers. It never would've occurred to her that she had other choices. Swallowing thickly, Kayla turned around and looked away from the confusing situation, choosing to focus on the nice sensation of someone combing her hair.

Soon Georgie had the sides of her hair braided and away from her face, the top held in place with a few additional plaits and pins. The hairdo would keep it from her eyes and also away from the hands of grabbing corpses. The length was shorter but still long enough to touch her shoulder blades.

"Good yeah?" Georgie asked with a proud smile, as Kayla looked in a tiny compact mirror. Nodding she looked up at the redhead who'd become a friend to Kayla in her time at Sanctuary.

"Yeah. Thanks G." She replied with a smirk, the nickname having come about fairly recently. It made the woman smile wider and then hop in bed. "Come on, you gotta be tired and I have early watch tomorrow."

* * *

"Tada!" Negan announced, his hand waving over the crouched figure like a game show host. Frowning at the man, Kayla watched Daryl tip his bruised face up and glare at her. The first urge she had was to feel justice, the man had imprisoned her and now he was suffering the same fate. However as she peered down at him, she began to feel nothing but sorrow and guilt. Kayla knew the man was only trying to protect his family and friends, there was no joy in seeing him suffer.

"What, you don't like my present?" Negan asked, his head cocking to the side as she stood silently with a grimace. "I thought you'd enjoy the irony."

"And if I don't?"

"It won't matter but I would prefer a little fucking gratitude." Negan growled his shoulders rolling forward as he loomed over her. Kayla's eyes narrowed and she muttered, "well thanks but no thanks, send him back."

"There's no going back, he's gonna stay and become another cog in my giant fucking wheel." Negan informed, his eyes looking over Daryl before adding, "Same as you princess."

Gritting her teeth at the nickname, Kayla gave Daryl another glance before turning away and leaving the tiny doorway. She listened as Negan locked the door up and then approached her from behind, his large frame closer than she was comfortable with. Stepping away she turned around and asked, "so what're you gonna do to him?"

"Nothing if he joins our way."

"And that is?"

"The New World order. I own everything and everyone. Do as I say and we can all live happily fucking ever after."

Pursing her lips Kayla looked down the hallway and asked, "and if I don't want to be a part of this new world order?"

"You know where the gate is but I gotta tell you, the world is a dangerous place and if you aren't with us? Well let's just say there's a steep toll to pay in our immediate area and pay you will." Negan's voice was threatening but softened as he added, "I don't want that for you Kay. I think you could thrive here. Make a life."

Kayla swallowed thickly, her eyes going to the closed door to avoid the piercing look in his eyes. "You're using him to control Rick aren't you?"

"Just another reason I like you Kay. You're smart, you think of the big picture."

"Is that why you took me? You think you can control him with me?"

"Yeah, at first. Then I realized you're more useful as a Savior than as leverage."

Kayla nodded, her arms crossed as she looked away.

"You're mad." He stated, leaning against the wall across from her. Kayla shrugged and admitted, "it makes sense. It was obvious Rick valued me for some reason."

Negan nodded a smile cracking across his face, "so you forgive me?"

Kayla snorted, rolling her shoulder lazily, "nothing to forgive. At least I'm not locked up anymore." The words were true but there was a part of her that was disappointed, Kayla knew she was just another pawn in Negan's big game but being told outright stung.

Nodding Negan ticked his head towards the exit, "cmon, I got a meeting."

* * *

There was a large room designated as a gym in Sanctuary, several of the men working together to collect a varied collection of workout equipment. Kayla had gotten used to exercising while locked up in Alexandria and needed the outlet. She followed Georgie's directions and began to go through her normal routine with a few additional ones she couldn't do while jailed. After weight training and an hour round on the treadmill, Kayla started her pull ups. Georgie entered as she reached ten, the redhead exclaiming, "Jesus I can't even do one."

Kayla chuckled as she kept going, her muscles quivering with exhaustion but she wouldn't stop.

"How was watch?," she panted, dropping to the ground to stretch out her arms and back. Georgie shrugged, "boring as shit. I wanna get back out there."

Nodding Kayla sat down, drinking deeply from a warm bottle of water.

"Have you always been all-?" Georgie motioned to Kaylas body and the equipment.

"What? Fit?" Kayla asked with a snort, "no. Never. Shane-…" looking away as the name caught in her throat like sand.

"Shane's your brother?"

"Yeah." She croaked, her eyes burning yet dry. Kayla had the urge to talk to Georgie about him, a need to be normal for once. "He uh… he was sporty, played football, ran track." She murmured, her eyes flicking from her friend to the wall behind her. Laughing quietly she confessed, "he used to call me Clumsy Kayla because I'd trip over my own feet."

Chuckling Georgie muttered, "well you aren't clumsy now, shit. You saved my ass out there. He'd be proud."

Swallowing thickly Kayla looked at her for a long moment, the urge to cry almost overwhelming her. "Thanks." She croaked before clearing her throat, "I'm gonna go wash up, see you at dinner?"

"Yeah, totally."

* * *

The trip to the washroom was quick, Kayla passing people without looking up. She felt raw and exposed from talking about her brother. It had been weird to be around people who knew her before, people who knew Shane but now that Kayla was in Sanctuary, where no one knew her let alone her dead brother, it was weirder. It was better in many ways, the anonymity but it was also lonely. No one really knew her and when she died, it would be as if neither her or her brother ever existed.

As she turned a corner, Kayla bumped into a blonde woman, her face looking familiar.

"Watch where you're goin'." She hissed, her face ugly and mean despite the caked on makeup. Narrowing her eyes, Kayla opened her mouth to snap at the hostile bitch when Simon walked up.

"Hey there Amber, Sherry was looking for you."

Kayla swallowed down her venomous words and watched as Amber scrunched her nose up at Kayla again before walking off in a huff. Kayla glared at her back as Simon watched her.

"Don't start shit with the wives." He instructed blandly, "they're off limits, even to you."

"What do you mean, even to me?"

Rolling his eyes, he rested his hands on his hips. "Boss obviously has taken a liking to you, no one gets away with the shit you do. Jesus I've seen him take someone's head off for something a tenth as bad as what you pull. But he won't let you rail into one of his wives."

Kayla smirked, "I'm pretty sure he would pay to see me rail into one of his wives."

Simon looked at her a moment before barking out a laugh, his hand slapping his stomach as he howled with laughter. As it died down he wiped his eyes while grinning at her, "now I get it."

Kayla crossed her arms and looked away, "whatever. Ok I won't kick the shit out of the little snotty bitch."

Nodding he smiled again at her, "good. Believe me, it's not worth it."

* * *

Kayla stood by as Negan slammed Lucille through one of the Hilltop resident's head. The brutal crack and wet slopping sound making her cringe, her stomach clenched with revulsion. The residents were screaming and crying as one of theirs was murdered because of a shorted delivery.

Watching the large charismatic man flip a switch to become a brutal monster should've been surprising but it wasn't. Despite all the smiles and jokes, Kayla had seen the predatory gleam in Negan's gaze from the first time she laid eyes on him. His smile was always full of sharp teeth and threatening words, no matter how nice he drawled them.

Even while demolishing the skull of some poor sap he bore a wide grin. It was maniacal and handsome at the same time. His freshly shaved skin speckled with splash back, his eyes lively. Kayla felt a brick of guilt sitting in her stomach for thinking the things she did about the man murdering a stranger.

"Do we all under-fucking-stand each other now?" He bellowed swinging Lucille around, hair and tissue hanging from her. "I'm the biggest swinging dick of them all and I'm not afraid to come back here and beat you with my giant cock. I will skull fuck all of you fucking hillbilly inbred cocksuckers. Balls fucking deep you got me?"

He cupped his ear and gestured dramatically for them to speak. There were a few weak yes's and Gregory finally spoke up, "we understand Negan."

"Call me Sir you fat lazy fuck."

"Yes sir." He hissed, his teeth clenched and pale eyes narrowed. Kayla hated Gregory, he was a slime ball. He was weak and self centered. She could tell he would do just about anything to save his own ass, selling out his people being the easiest. When the shortage came to light, their fearful leader pointed at the man in charge of bringing the goods in. One pointed finger and the man now lay in pieces while his family and friends sobbed.

"Load up!" Negan hollered, his feet stomping towards the car. "You're with me." He added, pointing the gruesome weapon at her. Passing by the group kneeling he simpered, "have a wonderful fucking afternoon ladies."

Hopping up into the truck, Kayla buckled herself in while Negan climbed into the drivers seat. He smirked at her and bragged, "That was almost as satisfying as a fucking rub 'n tug."

Swallowing down a bitter sick she looked away, her teeth setting tightly.

"What? Let me guess you don't fucking approve."

"Does it matter if I do?" She asked much like the day they were jumped by the men she killed, her eyes meeting his placidly. She had to shove down her sorrow and disgust to keep from angering him.

Negan narrowed his eyes and drummed his fingers on the steering wheel thoughtfully while following the caravan out of the Hilltop's gates. "No not really."

Kayla nodded and looked out the window again, her brain trying to force out the grotesque memories of the dead man's broken skull. She struggled to see past her disgust for Negan actions but couldn't find it in herself.

"You're not going to give me a piece of your mind?" He broke the silence, his eyes flicking from the road to her profile, "you've got a vagina after all."

"Why waste my breath? It won't make a difference and you'll just get all pissy." She replied with a forced smirk, knowing the best way to keep from annoying the man was to amuse him with banter. Negan grinned, his dimples showing, "You'd make a good right hand man, Kay. You shut the fuck up when you should and tell me like it is when you need too."

"It's not me shutting the fuck up, it's me too tired to deal with your bullshit." She muttered.

"What the fuck ever. Deny it all you want, we both know you're lieutenant material. Simon is awesome but he can't do it all, Dwight is a fuck up and everyone else is two brain cells short of retarded." He remarked his eyebrow raised, the man challenging her to argue.

"Most of your men are idiots I'll give you that and Dwight would sooner stab you in the balls than have your back."

"What about you? You'd have my back?"

"It depends on the situation." She replied honestly making him chuckle, his eyes gleaming.

"And that, right there, is why I like you. Honest as fuck."

Rolling her eyes she sunk back into her seat and decided to use the time to sleep. "Wake me up if something exciting happens."

"Yes Miss Daisy." He drawled, a grin evident in his tone. Kayla gave him the finger without looking, the man rewarding her with his gruff laugh, his hand slapping her gesture away.

* * *

"Kayla, wait." Negan rasped, his hand shooting out to catch her wrist after the trucks were unloaded. The woman ground her teeth, a tingling was licking up her skin making her squirm uncomfortably. She wasn't supposed to feel that way about such a brutal man. Negan had killed countless people, innocent people, people just trying to survive. He extorted supplies from groups by force and threatened men, women and children to do it. Kayla shouldn't feel such a draw to the man, at least that was what she tried to convince herself of. However no matter what she did there was a sharp tug in her chest when he looked at her like he had, a mixture of hunger and adoration.

"Will you look at me?" He asked, his thumb stroking a tantalizing path along her pulse point, wide passes that made her hair standup on end. Kayla swallowed thickly, her eyes slowly rising to his dark gaze. "I just want to have dinner with you." He confessed quietly, his voice tentative.

Her eyebrows raised and lips parted in surprise by the request, Kayla blurting out, "Why?"

Negan looked away, a nervous grin showing off his dimples making him look more human than ever before. It was as if she could see the man Negan used to be, before the dead rose and he became the all powerful leader of the Saviors, ruler of all the lands. He actually looked shy.

"I enjoy your fucking titties. Why else?" He sneered, the sexist pig facade falling back in place, a leering grin gracing his stupidly handsome face. Kayla rolled her eyes but felt her lip twitch, the man's vulgarity always amused her. Usually she ignored the levity his sense of humor provided but in that moment, where she could feel the warmth emanating off him and smell the leather of his jacket and soap he used, Kayla couldn't help herself. Smirking she looked at Negan with teasing eyes, "only the titties huh?"

He grinned widely and laughed, his eyes gleaming, "well I'm also partial to your ass."

"Jesus." She chuckled, shaking her head, "seriously why? You've got five other women waiting for you, all of whom will go to bed with you. What's the point?"

"The point? The fucking point is I want to spend time with someone who isn't sucking up to me for shit, someone with a goddamn sense of humor." He exclaimed, "Jesus fucking Christ woman give me a break. Fuck!" He bellowed, yanking his hand away to rake it through his hair roughly. Kayla swallowed thickly, the woman agreeing despite her reservations, "Ok. Can I change? I smell like dead things."

Negan stopped pacing and rubbed his jaw, his eyes cautious as if she'd change her mind. "Please do, you look like dead things." He smirked, his eyes trailing over her.

Rolling her eyes she ignored his insult and asked, "See you in thirty minutes?"

"Yeah. We can eat up on the roof." He replied, motioning for her to go. "Go on. I'll get food together."

* * *

Kayla's hand was raised to knock when the apartment door opened, Amber greeting her with red eyes and wet cheeks.

"Have fun whore." She growled while pushing past Kayla, leaving her confused and a little insulted. Looking into the living quarters she saw Negan sauntering towards her in clean jeans and dark thermal. His wide shoulders and narrow hips making Kayla bite her cheek anxiously, the more time she spent with Negan, the more she noticed his attractiveness. Swallowing nervously she looked away from his smirking face.

"C'mon. Don't mind Amber she's a catty bitch."

Sighing she muttered, "and this is why I didn't want to do this... Whatever this is."

"Don't worry about it. C'mon were eating alone on my deck." He assured her, "I had the cook make us fresh pasta and Hilltop sent some kick ass bread."

"Fine." She conceded, "anymore fucking drama and I'm out. I'm too fucking old for this bullshit."

Negan rolled his eyes and led her to a ladder that took them to the roof. Once outside she saw a whole lounge area Negan had installed, complete with dining table and deck chairs. The area was covered with a stretched canvas giving them shade from the sun.

"You act like you're old as fuck. What are you 23?"

"I'm 28 or something but that's like 58 in apocalypse years." She joked, her eyes taking in the view. From their vantage point she could see 180 degrees of the area as well as the grounds below. The sun was going down, the sky brilliant shades of orange and pink with splashes of red and purple. It was the first time since the end of the world Kayla saw something beautiful. A knot developed in her throat, the feeling almost confusing her. She held back her gasp when he spoke behind her.

"Nice view yeah?" Negan asked, pulling a chair out for her. Kayla almost snorted but saw he wasn't joking around, the man was actually pulling a chair out for her.

"Don't fucking look at me like that. I have fucking manners." He drawled, a sly grin curling his lips as he looked her over. She hadn't dressed up but she did change into her nicest tshirt and least holey jeans, the woman telling herself it was only because she was eating dinner with essentially her boss. It wasn't because it was a date, she didn't date and Negan sure as hell didn't court women. He snapped his fingers and they all spread open, there wasn't a dating process.

Wandering over she sat down, the man behind her pushing the chair in before taking his own seat. He dished up the pasta, the noodles mixed with garlic, tomatoes and basil. A hunk of bread lay on the plate next to it, the smell of rosemary and oregano filling her senses.

They ate silently for a few minutes, Kayla enjoying the fresh tomatoes and bread.

"What was your brother like?" Negan asked, his voice normal as if inquiring about her past was a common occurrence. She choked on her bite of food, coughing into her hand as her chest clenched painfully. Kayla had talked to Georgie about Shane but she wasn't so sure she trusted Negan enough to expose that part of herself. Her roommate was her friend, Negan was something else entirely.

"Shit. You ok?"

Nodding she swallowed a sip of water and then cleared her throat nervously. "Why are you asking?"

"I'm curious Kay. Shit, does everything have to be a fucking argument?"

"No.. Just… it's weird ok?" She mumbled, slumping in her seat slightly.

"Like I said. I enjoy being with you. I'd like to know more but holy hell it's like pulling teeth with you."

"I don't trust you." She replied honestly, inwardly cringing at the confession.

"I want to change that." He spoke earnestly, his eyes drilling into her panicked ones. "Like right now, you look fucking terrified and I want to know why so I can fucking fix it."

Biting her lip, she shook her head sharply to expel the soul torturing pain the memories of Shane caused. Kayla kept her blurry eyes away from the man who had just cracked open her chest causing the bubbling up of all her emotional baggage. She was a wreck and when Negan suddenly crouched in front of her, Kayla jerked back in surprise.

"Easy, Kay." He murmured, his hand resting on her arm and eyes concerned. "I didn't mean to upset you."

Shaking her head she made hesitant eye contact and murmured, "I'm not talking about my brother."

"A'right." He nodded, his hand squeezing her arm affectionately. "I see the line now okay?"

Nodding Kayla wiped her eyes while feeling her neck flush in embarrassment, it was the second time she'd cried in front of the man and she knew he would hold it against her eventually. Negan climbed to his feet and sat down heavily. Taking a forkful of food he grumbled, "fucking food's cold now."

"Don't be a pussy." She muttered eating another bite making him laugh deeply. His eyes were gleaming, "don't be a bitch."

"Too late." She muttered, leaning back in her chair.

"Tell me something else... What did you do before all this shit?"

Laughing slightly she confessed, "I was a loan risk assessor."

"Jesus." Negan chuckled, scrubbing his rough jaw. "that's boring as fuck."

"Yes it was. I hated it."

"Why'd you keep doing it?"

"Small town, not a lot of options." She shrugged, "and I was lazy as fuck."

Laughing Negan sipped his water and then stretched his long form out, hands clasped behind his head. "Was there something you wanted to do instead?"

"Travel. Wanted to do a cross country trip. See all the major state parks and up the west coast."

"Hmm." He hummed, his head cocked to the side. "Never been to the west coast."

"Me neither." She remarked leaning her elbows on the table, her chin resting on her palm. "I wanted to see the redwoods and the Oregon coast line. Seattle and even Alaska." Shrugging she sighed, "all well. Shit happens I guess."

Nodding Negan offered, "maybe when we get the biodiesel figured out we can do one."

Snorting she cocked an eyebrow, "what me and you? That'd be a sight to see."

"What?" He grinned, "it'd be fun. I'd even let you control the stereo."

"Jesus. I haven't thought about music in forever." She smirked leaning back, "you'd hate my playlists. Their full of 80's hair bands."

"Wow. Yeah I'm more of a classic rock fan."

"Rocks fine." She murmured looking away when she realized how normal the conversation was. The desire to actually spend more time with Negan caught her off guard making her clear her throat awkwardly. Leaning back away from the table to distance herself from the man and his charismatic eyes Kayla spoke quietly, "I should go."

"Why?"

"Because... "

"Very convincing argument." He deadpanned, his eyes amused. "Stay. You know you're enjoying yourself."

"I wouldn't say enjoying."

"Pfft. What would you say?"

"I'm... Not hating it."

Snorting Negan gave her a sly grin and teased, "just fucking admit it. You like me."

Rolling her eyes she muttered, "I wouldn't say that either."

"Of course not, you're a stubborn asshole but you know you fucking do." He assured her, "you don't want to, you fight it. I see you fight it. You should let your guard down with me."

"I don't trust you."

"You should. I got you outta Rick's fucking podunk jailhouse. Gave you a place to live and a job. I respect your opinions  _sometimes_. What more can I do?"

Shrugging Kayla looked away and confessed, "I'm sure you can understand why I'd have trust issues." Negan stared at her, his eyes softening as he finally understood her misgivings. Rick had been a big brother figure to her for as long as she could remember. There was a seven year age gap between Shane and Kayla, the girl being a drunken accident by their ignorant and neglectful parents. She grew up in the Grimes household more than her own and that was why the man's confession and actions hurt so much.

"How well did you know him before everything?"

Sighing Kayla rubbed her eyes tiredly. "I've known him my whole life."

"Seriously?"

"Yes. He was... " she trailed off and growled as she realized there was no way around talking about her brother. "Shane met him in second grade. They were best friends ever since."

"Until he killed him."

"Yeah. I guess."

"Why did he do it?"

Pursing her lips she explained, "I wasn't there but from what Rick and all his lackeys said, Shane flipped his shit after everything happened. He was always a fucking hothead so it's not very surprising he went sideways after everything."

Negan smirked and asked, "you've got a temper too."

"Yeah well it runs in the family." She muttered, her thumb subconsciously tracing the scar across her forearm, Kayla remembering the day she received it. As a six year old girl she had forgotten to close the freezer door, allowing a whole year of game meat to spoil. Joseph Walsh, their hothead drunk of a father, was less than understanding. A few voilent smacks with the switch left a lasting impression, as an adult she would still double check the seal. Shane had always been ashamed of their family, deciding as a teen to be anything but their father. It was what led him to the police academy.

Negan had obviously seen the action his mouth turning downwards, causing Kayla to pull her hand away and sit upright, her arms crossing tightly.

"So he went nuts. What else?"

"Rick said Shane fucked his wife. They thought he was dead and she moved on to Shane. Which doesn't surprise me, Lori was always needy."

"Holy shit. Well sorry sweetheart if some shitheel fucked my wife, I'd kill the asshole. Hell you've seen Dwight's wreck of a face, that was for stealing from me." Grinning he leaned forward and murmured, "some women would see it as romantic."

Snorting loudly Kayla replied, "some women are fucking nut jobs."

His eyes were twinkling in amusement, "some women huh?"

"Not me. At least not in that way." She joked with a wry grin.

Smirking Negan asked, "why didn't you just play nice and then take off? Or kill that motherfucker?"

"Truthfully, as often as I threatened it I don't think I would get anything out of killing him. I'd just hurt his kids. But I couldn't find it in myself to play nice with him."

"I get it."

Kayla pursed her lips while noticing how dark the sky was, they'd been talking for hours now. She felt an odd jolt at the idea that they were basically on a date. 'Jesus what the fuck are you doing Kay?' She thought inwardly.

"I'm making a run tomorrow. I want you to come with me."

"Alright." She replied pushing her chair back, "I'm going to head to bed now."

Negan gave her a lascivious grin, a playful sparkle in his eyes, "my bed's closer."

"Your bed's a little crowded. I prefer to sleep alone."

"Alone or just with Georgie?"

Kayla eyes narrowed and she muttered, "alone."

"Riiight." He drawled with a bright grin, standing up to his full height. She watched him stretch, his chest expanding as he raised and rotated his arms. Broad shoulders and wide chest had always been her downfall. Groaning loudly he twisted his back making it pop, "Jesus I'm old. Ya hear that fucking shit?"

Snickering she teased, "no shit."

"Shuddup smartass. Now get out so I can fuck some titties." He sneered, his hands emulating the act, "unless..."

"I'm out." She blurted before exiting the roof and the apartment but not before passing a few women in underwear and nothing more.


	5. Chapter 5

Game night was a big deal in Sanctuary, many of the Saviors betting the spoils they'd scored while working. Booze and cigarettes being a huge draw but also basic amenities from the old world. Portable DVD players, iPods and rare food was also wagered. Kayla never participated but was expected to come by Negan. He insisted on it stating she needed to pull the stick out of her ass sometime.

"Come on Kay, you know you wanna get drunk, maybe a little frisky." He drawled next to her, his mouth dangerously close to her ear. Swallowing nervously as the heat from his soft breath ghosted over her neck Kayla murmured, "no thanks."

The man was a warm presence next to her all night making it difficult to ignore his intoxicating smell and rich laugh.

"Your loss darlin'." He rasped, his thumb brushing down the length of her arm. "Lookin' at your pert little ass in those jeans all night has made me harder than a priest at Sunday school. I need to sink this dick in something warm and wet."

Rolling her eyes at the man's vulgarity, she shifted away from him and muttered, "good thing you have so many wives to choose from."

Glaring at her slightly he was about to give her a retort when everyone cheered for Dwight winning against Louis. Negan sneered at the sight, taunting, "Finally. Prepare to be pegged Dwight. I hope you brought the lube."

"Oh  _that_  kind of warm and wet." She joked under her breath but not quiet enough for the man next to her to not hear.

"The fuck you say?" He growled, his gaze narrowed.

"I said good luck, I'm heading out." She replied, the man obviously unimpressed with her lie.

"You aren't leaving until I say you are."

Sighing Kayla settled onto a stool as Negan and Dwight played for close to half an hour, Negan slamming the white ball one last time past Dwight's reach.

"Fuck yeah. Motherfucker!" Negan hollered, gloating as he swaggered around the room accepting the Saviors ass kissing. "Goddamn, did I tear that shit up. How'd that feel Fugly? Good yeah or too rough?"

Dwight was a sore loser, Kayla could tell he wanted to bite back but couldn't. Negan laughed, his head thrown back as he joked with one of the other men about Dwight being shit at ping pong.

"Come on D. Let's go another round? Yeah? Or did my big dick wear you out?" He taunted again, grabbing his groin, his eyebrows raised and amused. Kayla shook her head and looked away, the whole situation becoming awkward.

"No thanks." His lieutenant muttered, his hands clenched as he backed away.

"How about any of you fucking fucks?" Negan jeered, waving the paddle around, his eyes meeting hers. "Princess?"

"No."

"Fine. What the fuck ever." He sneered, his face sliding from irritated to mischievous, "it was getting boring anyway." Tossing the paddle onto the table he sauntered over to his group of wives, all of them dressed in skin tight hookerware. "Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to go ping pong my dick all over these titties." Negan grabbed Sherry by the arm, his eyes meeting Dwight's, "catch you later Dwight."

As he walked passed Kayla, he smirked at her, "Nighty night Princess."

Kayla scrunched her nose in disgust, her chest tightening as he strode passed.

Kayla looked away, her eyes landing on the bar. Walking away from Dwight she sided up to the long stretch of wood and ordered, "whiskey."

Sipping it Kayla tried to ignore the gnawing feeling in her stomach that felt suspiciously like jealousy. Her mouth curled into a sneer after she slammed down the last of her liquor.

"Hey there pretty lady." A savior drawled, leaning against the table edge next to her. Glancing at him she realized it was one of the men who ran security for all of Sanctuary. She'd seen him reporting to Simon and Negan on multiple occasions. The man looked like an average joe, his blonde hair buzzed short and cheeks smooth. He smiled at her, his eyes holding something close to genuine kindness.

"It's Kayla, not pretty lady."

He grinned, "Jason."

"I know." She muttered, motioning for another drink despite knowing it was a bad decision. Kayla hadn't had alcohol in so long she already felt a buzz, however she still couldn't shake the irrational anger at watching Negan with Sherry.

"Oh do you now?" He teased, his lips curled into an amused smirk. Jason cocked his eyebrow and drawled, "what else do you know about me?"

Rolling her eyes she leaned heavily onto the bar and sipped the liquid slowly. "That's about all, don't get all cocky." She muttered, her lips twitching as he laughed loudly, his blue eyes and wide grin making her loosen up.

She blushed when he murmured, "I've got more than a few things to be cocky about sweetheart. You want a list from the widest to longest?"

"Fuck off." She chuckled, clearing her throat awkwardly, her eyes flit away from the man's appealing grin. It was less aggressive than Negan's, warmer even. Maybe he wasn't so bad, maybe he would be a nice change.

"Okay, okay. I'll be good." He assured, bumping her elbow playfully, "so how do you like Sanctuary? I know you're new here."

Kayla glanced at the man next to her and smirked while teasing, "oh yeah? what else do you know about me?"

Grinning widely he drawled, "cheeky and cute. Tell me more about yourself  _pretty lady_."

* * *

Stumbling into her room, Kayla laughed as she tripped over a backpack. Falling face first to the ground, she heard Georgie wake up.

"The hell you doin'?" The woman asked groggily.

"Nothin'." Kayla chuckled, the drunken woman crawling across the floor to keep from falling down again.

"You drunk bitch." Georgie exclaimed, flicking on a camp light to find her on all fours while giggling. "How much did you have?"

"Pffft. I'm not drunk." Kayla claimed, yanking off her boots and jacket clumsily. "I'm just... just tired."

"Riiiiiight." The redhead muttered, patting the bed. "Come on then and sleep you jackass."

Rolling her eyes, Kayla tugged off her pants and long sleeved shirt, unhooking her bra and working herself out of it without removing her tank top. Crawling into bed she smiled widely at her friend, the redhead looking at her with a scowl.

Georgie sighed, rolling over to look away from her. Kayla frowned, tapping her on the shoulder. "What? You're mad I drank?"

"No."

"Then what, you're all-." Kayla motioned to her with a furrowed brow.

"I'm all what?"

"All girly." She replied, with a huff, "like all pissy."

Sighing Kayla relaxed back into the mattress, her eyes feeling heavier and her desire to know what was wrong with her friend becoming less and less important. She was just drifting off when Georgie's voice cut in, "You need to get your own room."

"What?" She rasped, her eyebrows raised, "Why? Because I got drunk one time?"

"No." Georgie growled, rolling over to look at her. "Because I can't see you in your goddamn underwear without wanting to rip 'em off okay?!"

Kayla's mouth opened but she stayed silent, the inebriated woman at a loss as to what to say. She'd turned down Jason a dozen times during the evening despite wanting to get a little release. He'd kissed her and she'd kissed him but it felt off and wrong, and now there were those needs again she'd been ignoring all evening.

"We can't be friends and sleep in the same bed. With you all… hot and me all needy and stupid. I-I need distance. I need-." Georgie's rant was cut off as Kayla grabbed her head, pulling her mouth to hers. It was awkward at first, Kayla being used to the hard mouths of men, rough whiskers and aggressive teeth. Slowly it became hotter and wetter, their mouths working slowly and thoroughly.

"Fuck." She gasped into Georgie's mouth, her friend laughing breathlessly. "Yeah."

They stared at each other a long moment before crashing together, hands pulling off clothing and grabbing curves. It was an odd sensation, both because it had been years since Kayla had touched someone in that way but also it being a woman. She wasn't attracted to women, she never looked at them in any other way than just another person but there was something different about Georgie. Something unique.

Kayla rolled on top of her, the woman tentatively touching her, watching Georgie's face closely. She began to learn what exactly the redhead enjoyed, her eyes taking in every flutter, gasp and moan.

"Fuck... I... Kay." Georgie breathed as Kayla moved her fingers deeper and faster, her thumb brushing at just the right speed.

Her heart was clashing against her ribs as she watched her friend become unglued, Georgie's body shuddering underneath her.

The panting woman caught her breath before moving to treat Kayla to the same intimate gesture but she stopped her. "It's ok. I don't know if.."

"Trust me." Georgie insisted, forcibly flipping them over to sink between Kayla's legs. With wide eyes she watched the woman grin at her before descending in between her thighs. Gasping at the sensation, Kayla's thighs trembled as Georgie worked her over with her lips, tongue and gentle teeth. Her hands sunk into the fiery red hair as her body began rocking into the motion. All too soon she began to feel a steady, familiar burn rolling through her. The tension snapped, Kayla moaning out loudly as she clenched Georgie's hair into a tight fist. Pins and needles broke out across her skin as she gasped loudly and without any control.

She watched Georgie sit up, the woman licking her lips before wiping her mouth across the back of her arm.

They gasped together, both staring at the other with wide satiated eyes. "Good?" Georgie asked with a coy grin.

Snorting Kayla nodded, pulling the other woman down and the blankets up. "Fucking tired." She mumbled into the bright hair. "Sleep." She slurred with exhaustion. Georgie laughed a little, her breath ghosting over Kayla's sweaty chest. "You taste good."

"Shuddup." She muttered, her cheeks burning "go t'sleep."

"Night Kay."

"Night G."

* * *

Alexandria was expecting them, their gates opening as soon as the caravan neared. Kayla watched as the residents exited their homes and lined up on the sidewalk like instructed. She narrowed her eyes as she watched Rick join Michonne on the curb, their faces stony.

Simon was running the show on this trip, Negan having been called away to introduce himself to another community due west. Kayla would've preferred to watch that shit show than look at the people of Alexandria again. Jumping out of the back of the truck she watched Simon approach Rick with a wide disingenuous grin. The crates that were piled up in the street weren't nearly enough to satisfy their quota, Alexandria was skating on thin ice. If they hadn't at least brought them something of great value, Negan would be visiting sooner rather than later.

"Well. It's good to see you Rick." Simon exclaimed, the falseness in his tone had Kayla side eyeing the people crowded around.

"Your half is all ready for you." Rick rasped, motioning to the pallet worth of sundries as well as a dozen dead hares.

"Jeez." Simon hummed, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, "here I was thinking we had an understanding."

"We do. This is half of what we've found this week. The area is getting picked clean." Rick confessed, his hands resting on his hips.

"A dry spell you say?" Simon replied, his head bobbing as if he understood the problem but under the layer of mocking he was furious. "See Rick, Negan doesn't give a rat's ass if you've got to go to fucking California for our shit. You provide or you suffer the consequences."

"We don't have the protection we need for long hauls. If you returned some of our guns..."

"Their Negan's guns. He owns it all Rick. There is no ours for you, only his. Now my men oh excuse me, and  _ladies_." He sneered gesturing dramatically at her, Negan's right hand man obviously stoking the fires. "They're going to search these lovely homes and see if there ain't just a little bit more to give."

"We don't have anything more to give."

"We'll just see about that but you know what Rick, you better start praying we do find some more because if not, Negan will be visiting soon. He's far less patient than I am. Go on boys and girls. Find us something special."

Kayla ground her teeth slightly as she walked passed Rick and into the home nearby, the woman passing Aaron and Eric as she entered.

"Kayla." Aaron greeted her, his mouth frowning as she wandered into his home as if she were invited. Pursing her lips she let her eyes trail over the living room and kitchen, the place practically bare.

"As you can see, we don't have much." Aaron explained pointing to the sleeping bags near the fireplace. "Unless you want our bedding now?"

Frowning she sauntered away and into the kitchen, the woman taking stock of what was in their cupboards as well as in the fridge. It was slim pickings and it made Kayla's stomach clench, Negan wouldn't be pleased.

"Have you seen Daryl?" Aaron asked, his voice hoarse. "Is he alive?"

Kayla glanced at him, shifting uncomfortably as his strained eyes watched her every move. Without speaking to them she headed for the stairs to double check the second floor. After a quick once over, Kayla left with a box of dvds, CDs and a few bottles of cologne. It was complete bullshit that no one needed and she was pretty irritated she was wasting time to even bring it back but people used their points to buy it. Well what was left after Negan, his wives and lieutenants picked it over.

As she stepped out of the home she glanced back at Aaron who was holding Eric's hand. "Last time I saw him, he was alive." She murmured before striding away.

* * *

Dropping it onto the pile she glanced down the street to see others bringing out similar findings.

As she approached Simon, Kayla watched one of the cruder saviors picked on an over weight woman, his tone mocking. Glaring at him Kayla strode up and growled, "Back the fuck off Lou."

"I'm just chatting this not so lil lady up."

Stepping in between them, Kayla curled her lip up and spoke evenly and quietly. "Walk away before I cut your nuts off and make you eat them."

He glared at her, his teeth grinding loudly as she kept her hand on her blade.

"Try me Lou. I want to try my new knife out on something living."

Huffing out a sharp breath, the man stomped away as Simon joined her. "We having problems here?"

"No. She was about to show me where I could find some more shit, aren't you?" Kayla spoke, her eyes meeting the nervous woman's.

"Y-yeah. Yeah I think there might be something in m-my place."

"Good, that's good." Simon spoke with a wide smile, his dead eyes meeting Kayla's, "be quick and meet me at the truck when you're done."

Her teeth set tightly as she understood the message, she had over stepped and made them look weak. Infighting was the first step to breaking the order.

Following her up the steps of one of the townhomes, the white and green house was just two doors down from where Kayla was once held. Pausing on the steps she stared for a second, her eyes finally meeting the woman waiting at the doorway.

"I'm sorry we did that to you." She whimpered, her hands wringing in front of her. Kayla let her eyes narrow and her mouth harden. "You better have something inside or we are both fucked."

Nodding she led her inside and scurried to the bookshelf in the corner. Olivia rifled through the books, skimming over the titles before stopping on one. Bringing it over she held it out, Kayla only staring at the Dictionary with confusion.

"You can't be serious."

"Look inside." Olivia urged, her hand stretching further towards her. Sighing Kayla took it, the leather bound book feeling oddly heavy. When she opened it she found a sealed pint of expensive Irish bourbon, the label touting an 80-year aged liquor.

"This'll work." Kayla muttered, knowing Negan was fond of expensive booze.

"I was saving it for an emergency, like today." Olivia explained, pushing her eyeglasses up. "I wasn't trying to hide it." She added, "I actually forgot about it and found it while unpacking a box of books from my old place. It was a gift to my-."

"I don't care." Kayla muttered, "it'll work for now."

Turning on her heel she began to walk away when Olivia spoke, "thanks for helping me out there."

Glancing back at her Kayla glared, "don't thank me. Just pray he's satisfied for now."

* * *

As Kayla headed back to the others she came across Michonne and Rick speaking intensely, their eyes landing on her as she strode passed.

"I can't believe you're working for him." Rick growled, his eyes looking at the bottle in her hand. With narrowed eyes she sneered, "I'm not sure if you remember this but you gave me to him. I don't get a choice anymore Grimes. This is my life. That's on you."

"You offered to go with him."

"I offered to tell him everything if I was released. You handed me over as payment of a debt, without even an argument." She snapped, her hand clenching the bottle tightly, the urge to smash it over his head growing by the moment.

"It doesn't matter. You can help us now." He rasped, while looking around nervously. "You can help us take him down, then you'll be free."

Kayla stared at him for a solid second before chuckling dryly. "And why would I do that? Huh? I've got no ties here Grimes."

"Yes you do. I'm still your brother Kay."

"Oh that's convenient." She sneered, her lip curled obnoxiously. "Now you are. Like I said, I've got no ties here."

Michonne stepped closer and spoke quickly, "You do.

"Michonne, don't." Rick exclaimed, his hand gripping her arm. "Don't."

Kayla looked at the pair, both of them glaring at the other. "What's going on?"

Michonne stared at him, her voice coming out firmly. "She deserves to know, it could help." Rick growled lowly but didn't speak a word. Michonne turned towards her and explained, "You have ties here... Judith…. she's Shane's."

"What?" Kayla gasped, her eyes going from Michonne to Rick. The baby Kayla had seen a couple times from a distance wasn't Rick's daughter after all, Judith was Shane's. She was Kayla's niece, her only blood and Rick had never planned on telling her. Kayla still had family and the man in front of her had hid it from her.

"You were never gonna tell me huh?" She spoke her eyes burning with unshed tears.

Rick's own eyes were drilling into her, his posture tense. "She's my daughter."

"Yeah but she's my blood. My only blood."

"She's  _mine_." He growled deeply, his eyes wild and shoulders rolled aggressively forward.

Kayla nodded slowly, blinking back tears, "All this time I believed what you said, that I'd changed, that I was different. That I was dangerous. But... It's you. I don't know you anymore." She sniffed loudly, her walls falling back in place. Her eyes went icy and she hissed, "I don't know any of you." She backed away and added, "You're on your fucking own. All of you."

* * *

Sitting with in their room, both women had finished dinner when Georgie asked, "What're you thinking about so hard?"

Kayla glanced at her while she slid a blade across a wet stone, the scratching pausing mid-stroke. Clenching her teeth, Kayla began sharpening her blade again while contemplating if she should tell anyone about Judith. It could be dangerous for both of them, any relationship, no matter how vague, was possible leverage. However Georgie had proved to be a good friend and the idea of talking to someone about how fucked the situation was sounded nice.

"I found out…" she began and chewed her cheek nervously.

"What?" The redhead asked, her eyes taking in Kayla's nervous ticks.

"Rick's daughter… shes's not his. She's Shane's."

The room was quiet for a long moment before Georgie spoke. "She's your niece."

"Yeah."

"Did he tell you?"

"No. His whatever she is... girlfriend told me." Kayla muttered, her eyes burning holes into the ground. "He wouldn't have told me. He wasn't going too."

Frowning Georgie crawled across the bed and sat next to her, her hand lightly on her back. "I'm sorry Kay." She murmured, her pale green eyes dipping to catch hers. "What do you want to do?"

"Do?"

"Well she's related to you, not that asshole." Her friend muttered, her brow was furrowed with worry, "You deserve to know your brother's kid."

Shaking her head, Kayla looked away as her eyes watered. It was all true but she knew no matter how much she wanted to be a part of the little girl's life, it would never happen. Rick was right, Judith was his daughter, he'd been raising her and nothing would change that. Kayla was just a stranger and Judith didn't belong in Sanctuary. She belonged with Rick and her family, no matter how much Kayla wanted to know the girl who held inside her what little there was left of Shane in the world.

* * *

Negan had been watching her from across the room, his arms crossed and mouth scowled. Kayla could tell he knew she was off her game, her mind too distant and expression far too troubled to be paying attention. The Saviors were leaving in the morning to meet with Kingdom's leader Ezekiel, Negan was giving them last minute instructions since he wouldn't be accompanying them. Ezekiel was a complete weirdo, Kayla usually struggled to keep from scoffing after every poorly acted renaissance fair nonsensical word. It didn't help that he kept a tiger as a pet and had his followers call him King.

Counting down while taking even breathes Kayla tried to center herself and remove all traces of discord from her face. She wanted to keep her head down and avoid attention for the day.

Standing near the exit, she waited to be dismissed but when everyone else was instructed to leave, Negan ordered, "Stay there Princess."

Growling at the nickname Kayla stood still as she watched everyone leave, Georgie walking passed and whispering, "See you at dinner."

He stood there silently staring until her skin crawled, his expression empty save for a frown.

"What?" she snapped, her fists clenched and body leaning forward. "Get on with whatever this is so I can leave. I'm tired of looking at your fucking face!"

"What the hell is wrong with you?" He growled stomping forward to jab her in the chest. "You've been nothing but a little bitch lately. I'm shutting this shit down. No more back talk, no more glares like I shit in your cheerios. I don't give two flying fucks if Pricky lied to you about some brat. You're gonna respect the fuck out of me or I'm putting my boot up your tight little ass!"

Kayla's face went from angry to confused, the words rattling in her head like rocks in a can. The only person she'd told about Rick's deceit was Georgie. There was only one way the towering man in front of her could've known about it, her friend wasn't so trustworthy after all. Georgie was no friend.

She watched as his face went steely, the man realizing the slip up. Negan's throat bobbed as he swallowed and he grinned wryly, scrubbing his jaw. "Fuck it. Get out of here."

Kayla's breathing got shallow and all she could hear was the blood thrumming in her ears. "Yeah. I have some stuff to do before I leave." She spoke through clenched teeth, her eyes burning with something close to fury.

* * *

Shoving the last of her things into her large duffle bag she kept her eyes away from the redhead entering through the doorway. "What's going on?" Georgie asked, her eyes flickering over the bag and disheveled room.

Kayla spun around and glared at her, "Don't fucking talk to me."

"I don't-."

"How fucking long?"

"Kay?" Georgie was looking more than a little nervous, obviously knowing she had been discovered.

"How LONG?!" she screamed, her hands throwing the bag to the ground with a thump. "How fucking long have you been telling him everything about me? Huh? The beginning?"

"Kay, please you don't understand."

"Oh I do." She sneered.

Georgie's eyes were wide and skin flushed, "You know how he is, I had to do it. You can't say no to him."

"You could've told me but you lied." She growled, the angry woman being completely honest. If Georgie had told her they could've at least discussed what he was told. She could've at least prepared herself for disappointment. Georgie was just another person who had lied to her, hurt her. Broke her.

Georgie was crying, her freckled cheeks wet, "Please you've gotta know I didn't mean to hurt you."

"I don't know shit about you. Was fucking me in the plan also huh? I bet he fucking loved the details of that." Kayla sneered, her eyes burning at just the thought that she'd finally let her guard down in the most private way only to be deceived. The redhead hadn't cared for her, she'd been a pawn in just another of Negan's games. "Let me guess, you've fucked him, that why you said being a wife wasn't worth it? You've got personal experience?"

When the redhead flinched, Kayla knew it was true. Georgie was nothing but another loyal servant to Negan.

"I'm not a wife, we just… in the beginning I had nothing. I couldn't take care of myself. But it wasn't like that with you I swear." She tried to grab Kayla's hand, the woman slapping her away, "I didn't tell him. I wouldn't do that. I swear."

"Oh right, of course. You'd never  _lie_  to me." Kayla snarled, her hand reaching out to grip the woman's jacket. "Don't you ever talk to me again. You don't look at me, you don't even fucking think about me."

"Please Kay-."

"No! You come near me again and I'll fucking stab you. Tell him he failed, he was close, he almost had me thinking he wasn't so fucking bad. So did you. You tell him he can get fucked and you know what? So can you."

* * *

Picking up the hogs Kingdom supplied had been almost too easy, Kayla knowing nothing ever worked as planned. She rode in the back of one of the trucks, the woman having successfully avoided both Negan and Georgie all week. When she had gotten her own room from the resident coordinator, Mark had given her a baffled look. Everyone knew the two women were friends, not the extent of that friendship but they were known to stick together. Within the following hours most of Sanctuary knew about their falling out.

The trucks pulled to a stop suddenly, a shout coming from the truck cab, "We've got roamers. Everybody out to clear the road."

Kayla hopped out and joined the group currently shooting and stabbing their way through the corpses. The road was thick with them but it wasn't anything new for a trip beyond the walls. Kayla passed Georgie, her eyes narrowed and angry at just the sight of her.

Slamming her blade into a few more dead she was a block down the street when screams and shouts broke out from the group behind her. Several gunshots went off in quick succession, the screams of someone being torn apart suddenly stopping. Kayla turned and felt the blood drain from her face, the shock of bright red hair splayed out on the blood-covered pavement was all she could see. Stomping forward she joined the group hovering nearby, their eyes jumping to her as she stopped at the dead woman's bloody boots.

"Goddamnit." Kayla gasped, her hands in tight fists as she looked down at what was left of the fiery redhead who'd gotten under skin. The woman who'd been there for her but who had also sold her out. Georgie had broken her trust and Kayla had wished her dead and there she was, she couldn't help but feel the guilt turning into a stone in her gut.

Without much hesitation, Kayla brought up the wicked machete she'd claimed on their last run, slamming it into the walker nearby. Georgie's knife was still buried in its skull, her ex roommates last act to kill the biter who'd killed her. The woman hacked at the creature's head, wide arcs of black blood spraying all over the ground and her arms. She screamed at the top of her lungs like a wild animal while mutilating the body with brutal force.

Kayla could only see a red haze, the crowd observing just a slight distraction. When she couldn't breath and her arms trembled, she stopped. Her chest was heaving and sweat dripped into her eyes, stinging her bloodshot retinas. Growling loudly, she turned on her heel to stomp away from the scene, her destination unknown. All she wanted was to get away from the dead body of the only friend she'd had since the world ended.

* * *

It had been ten days since Georgie had died, ten days of working the walls instead of scavenge, ten days of avoiding Negan and anyone else who wanted to speak to her. She worked side by side with the lowest level of residents in Sanctuary, including Daryl who was still being broken by Negan. He was practically mute, his eyes empty. It made Kayla's skin crawl to work with him because he was nothing like the man who'd huffed and puffed, questioning her for days. She almost felt sorry for him.

"The fuck are you working the wall for Kay." Stevens asked while wiping the back of his neck with a rag. Rolling her shoulder lazily she muttered, "why not?"

"Because it's shit. Why not just stick with the higher ups?" He suggested, an eyebrow cocked, "god knows it's easier."

Pulling out a pack of cigarettes she'd splurged for, Kayla lit one up, sucking in the painful burn. She watched as Daryl stood by waiting for them to get back to work, his eyes barely meeting hers. Sighing she held it out to him, waving it slightly when he didn't take it.

"Kayla." Stevens hissed, "you know what will happen."

"Take it already Dixon." She snapped, ignoring Stevens comments. Slowly he took the remaining cig and puffed a few drags, handing it back without looking at her. Taking the last drag Kayla flicked it at one of the writhing dead, the cherry singeing it's shirt.

"You shouldn't do shit like that. You're gonna get caught." He spoke emphatically. "Especially not to him."

Glancing at Daryl she saw him looking at her with questioning eyes. Kayla could see him wondering just why she was risking anything for him, after everything that had happened, why did she give a shit? She couldn't answer that question, choosing to ignore it all together.

"Whatever." She replied, picking up another batch of zip ties. "We have five more to go. Lets get it over with."

* * *

After washing up, Kayla found the man she'd been avoiding for days, the leather jacket wearing asshole leaning on her bedroom door.

"Long time no see Princess." He drawled, his mouth curled and dimples deep. "It feels like you've been avoiding me."

With tightly clenched teeth she unlocked her door and entered, the room barely habitable. She had a mattress on the floor and a small stack of books and gear. A few cans of tuna and bottles of water sat on an overturned milk crate. Kayla didn't spend her points unless necessary, she wasn't going to pretend Sanctuary was a home. What she had learned from Georgie was settling in to make a real life was impossible since no one could be trusted. There was no point in getting comfortable.

"Jesus Fucking Christ is this shithole depressing." He exclaimed, wandering in a big circle with Lucille on his shoulder. "How the hell do you not have points to buy shit? All you do is work."

"I don't need much." She replied sitting on a folding chair to remove her boots. "I'd offer you a seat but…"

Negan only stared at her, his mouth scowled. "Why are you doing this?"

"What?"

"Living like this. Punishing yourself."

Kayla rolled her eyes and muttered, "I'm not punishing myself. This isn't a goddamn dorm room I need to furnish. It's just another jail cell I'm stuck in."

The man's eyes became colder than before, the leather glove he wore creaking as it tightened around Lucille's handle. "Are you implying I am holding you against your will?" he spoke so evenly and toneless Kayla felt a shudder run down her spine.

"I'm saying I'm stuck here just like Alexandria. The only difference is, instead of bars holding me here its a manipulative bastard's threats and deceitful schemes."

Negan grabbed her wrist with bruising force, his blunt fingernails pinching her skin. "You will not speak to me this way." he demanded, his eyes cold and dark. "We may have developed a friendship-."

"We aren't fucking friends." She cut him off, her voice raised and threatening, "I'm not friends with liars."

Negan's hands yanked her closer, his head dipping to scowl at her. "Did you just inter-fucking-rupt me?" He growled so deeply, his frame vibrated. Fisting her hair, he pulled her head back and glared at her with bared teeth. "I should beat your fucking head in Princess."

"Do it." She gasped, tears welling in her eyes. "Just do it. F-fucking do it!" She screamed. Her breathing accelerated as the tears that had been threatening to take over for the last ten days flooded from the corners of her eyes.

Negan's own breathing had picked up, his chest heaving as he watch her crack into pieces. "You want to die." He stated, his angry eyes scanning her face. "That it Princess. You give up?"

"Yeah that's right I do." She muttered, yanking her head away from his loosen grip. "I'm fucking tired of being used and lied too."

His hand relaxed, his grip still firm but not painful. Tipping her chin up he peered down at her with something close to remorse. "She only told me the important shit."

Snorting Kayla looked away as she felt her chest tighten at even the mention of the woman. She pictured the way she smiled, the tiny gap that she found so cute but soon her mind went to the sight of Georgie torn to pieces. Grimacing at the flash of blood and red hair she looked away, her eyes flooding all over again. She couldn't hold in the sob that tore from her, the woman trying to yank free from Negan's grip only failing.

"Stop Kay." He rasped, his hands gripping both biceps, as she struggled to escape his warm presence. She punched and kicked him, growling through clenched teeth but he didn't let up.

"Stop sweetheart." He murmured, his voice softening as she gasped and struggled to free herself.

Feeling all the fight drain out of her, Kayla sagged into him, jagged cries shaking her whole frame. She felt his hands slid across her back as his arms reeled her in to squeeze her tightly. Kayla could feel his mouth pressed into the crown of her head as he stroked wide paths along her back with his large hands. They stood there as she sobbed, her fists curled into his jacket and shirt as he kept her from collapsing to the floor. When her legs wobbled, Negan scooped her up and sat down on her bed, the woman in his lap.

"Just count Kay." He murmured again, his lips brushing the shell of her ear. "Breath and count."

Following his directions she slowly calmed down, her cheeks flushing as she felt how damp she had made his shirt with her tears. The soothing motion of his hand was making her antsy despite how nice it felt. She was supposed to be mad at him, she wasn't supposed to sit in his lap like some kind of weak child.

"Stop worrying." He murmured against her temple, his arms tightening around her. They were silent for awhile, Negan's hand still travelling up and down her back.

"Whatever you two had.. it was real." His voice was rough, his words quiet. "I never told her to do anything other than to keep an eye on you. I know you understand why I did it. I had to be sure you weren't with Rick."

Kayla swallowed thickly as she finally let herself admit to herself that she understood it, which only made everything all the more painful. She had been cruel and heartless to Georgie and now she was dead. The redhead had died thinking Kayla hated her guts and there was nothing she could ever do to change that.

"I'm sorry you lost your friend." He added quietly, his head pulling back to see her face.

"No more lies. No more tricks." She rasped, her voice hoarse and tired. Negan stared at her bloodshot eyes for a second before he dipped his chin he repeated, "No more lies. No more tricks."


	6. Chapter 6

"We'll check the left side, you three take the right. Meet the rest of you fucks at the cul-de-sac by noon." Negan ordered Dwight, Javier and Lou. Kayla followed him down the street to the first house on their strip. The lawn was overgrown and the elm tree that must have once been magnificent was cracked in half, scorched from a lightening strike. Part of its limbs had crashed through its roof and broken its windows.

"You think it's secure?" She asked as they stepped over broken branches and garbage.

"Its fine." Negan replied with an amused grin, "Just watch your step dummy."

Glaring at him she muttered, "Ass."

Kayla followed him inside after the pair listened for biters. They cleared the bottom floor quickly, both splitting up to search the property for supplies. Sliding up the stairs, her knife out she searched for any corpses, the woman finding only empty rooms and filthy muddy floors. Putting her blade away she began looking for supplies to bring back.

Kayla was rooting through the master bedroom for clothing when a flash of color cut through her peripheral vision. Suddenly she was being slammed into a wall, a filthy man was wrestling for her gun. She growled as he pounded on her trying to wrench the weapon from her, his dirty fingernails scratching at her forearms. Shoving him as hard as she could, Kayla yanked her handgun up and by complete muscle memory, took aim at his head. Pulling the trigger she watched as his face exploded, blood and gore splattering the wall and carpet.

Unfortunately as he collapsed he fell into her chest, Kayla stumbled backwards into the window. The glass was already broken from the tree limb and couldn't hold any weight. Her breath caught in her throat as the last narrow piece of wood broke, leaving nothing to hold Kayla from falling through it. She scrambled to catch herself, seizing a few leaves and splinters of wood before her body went airborne. It felt as if she were falling forever, time slowing down as Kayla saw crystal blue sky above and the remaining green leaves. As she landed in the overgrown lawn, pain exploded across her whole body as her lungs decompressed forcibly from the dead body landing on her. Kayla gasped, her eyes blinking through tears as agony ripped through her back and shoulder. Moaning she tried to move her legs and arms only to have blinding nerve pain shoot down her limbs.

"Kay!" A voice called out from above her, Negan peering down at her collapsed figure. She moved her mouth but couldn't get any sound to come out, her ribs aching from even trying. Blacking out momentarily, she woke to Negan yanking the dead body off of her while speaking loudly.

"Jesus what the fuck happened Kay?" Negan knelt near her head looking over her crumpled body. The other men showed up as she tried to explain what happened.

"Fucker attacked me. Fell." She gasped, as she rolled herself onto her knees. Negan grimaced at the sight of her malformed shoulder, the bone sticking out in an odd angle under her skin.

"Hey, don't move. Shit. It's dislocated." He muttered, placing a gentle hand on her back as she tried to climb to her feet. A whimper escaped as her arm hung limply at her side. Dark spots filled her vision, her head swimming with vertigo.

Negan held her up as Kayla began to sway on her feet. "Easy there. You just fell out of a fucking window. Jesus." He muttered, his arm sweeping her up and off the ground.

"I can fuckin' walk." She mumbled, her eyes clenched as sharp pain shot from her fingertips to her neck, "uhhhhhhfuckingasshole" She moaned as Javier helped prop her limp arm onto her stomach while Negan held her.

"Careful, dumbass." Negan snapped, his eyes angry and teeth clenched. They strode down the street towards the vehicles, Negan's heavy boots scuffing loudly. Kayla tried to keep her head up to keep watch but ended up resting her sweaty forehead against his large shoulder.

"You still with us?" He rasped quietly while the other men cleared a path through the undead for them, the neighborhood filling because of her gunshot. Nodding lazily she mumbled, "fuckin hurts."

"Don't be a pussy." He grunted, adjusting her in his arms while reaching the car. Kayla peered up at him with a scowl causing the man to chuckle quietly, squeezing her to his chest.

"Asshole." She mumbled, "its safe he says. All clear he says."

Negan snorted, "I fucking told you to watch your step."

Kayla scoffed her eyes narrowing while looking up at him, "I was mauled by a fucking lunatic."

"Pfft." He scoffed in return and was silent, glancing down at Kayla he murmured, "I'm glad you're not dead."

Their eyes connected for a long moment the atmosphere heavy and electric. Clearing her throat she dropped her eyes to his neck, staring at the scruff he let take over periodically smattered with gray. "You're just happy another cog didn't die" she joked to break the tension. Negan stared at her a moment and shook his head, rasping, "no, that's not why."

As he shifted Kayla cried out, the bones grinding inside her shoulder feeling like hellfire.

"Shhh." He tried to calm her while sliding her body into the back seat. Kayla gasped out when her arm fell from her abdomen to hanging like dead weight. Negan climbed in despite being a few feet too tall to sit in the back seat of the extended cab.

"Go." He grunted while maneuvering her back into his lap, a sob wrenching from her chest as he lifted her arm back to her stomach. Kayla pressed her clammy forehead against his neck, her mouth open as she gasped through the pain. She couldn't control the adrenaline pushing through her veins, the imbalance causing body-shaking tremors.

"Easy darlin'," he whispered, his hand stroking up her back in long passes, "I gotcha. Breath slow Kay."

Taking a shuddered breath through her nose the injured woman let the air out slowly.

"Good girl," he rasped, his lips brushing against her temple, "again."

Soon Kayla was less panicked and even though the pain was still throbbing out from the inflamed joint she was resting comfortably against Negan's chest.

"You good?" He asked softly, his head pulling back to see her face. Kayla's eyes were bloodshot from crying out but dry.

"M'good." She mumbled, her head resting heavily against his chest. The drive was quick, Javier going speeds that sounded near triple digits. Every bump in the road was like torture, Kayla grunting at every jostling. The truck hit a huge pothole, the bumper actually hitting the pavement.

"Fuck," she snarled, her eyes slamming shut as she hissed a breath through her teeth. Curling the fingers of her working hand into his leather jacket.

"Slow down Fuckhead. Are you trying to fuck her up more, asshole?" Negan barked, his voice bellowing above her.

"Sorry sir." He apologized, the car slowing down as they turned.

Eventually they arrived back at Sanctuary, Negan gripping her to his chest as they climbed out of the car. Kayla felt her cheeks flush at being seen carried like a baby.

"I can walk." She muttered as they strode through the crowd.

"Shut the fuck up." He grunted, climbing the stairs swiftly, "I don't want to wait all fuckin' day for you to climb your broke ass up these stairs. It's quicker this way."

Negan kicked open the infirmary door, the wood slamming into the wall behind it. "Look alive Doc!" He ordered gruffly, "she needs pain meds now."

The doctor motioned for Negan to put her on a bed, Kayla moaning as the limb fell to the side. Fire scorched through her nerves as the Doctor palpitated the joint. "Oh fuck you asshoooole." She snarled, the pain shooting through her tense frame.

"Alright. Meds then I'll pop this back in." He explained, his fingers pulling the plunger of a syringe, clear liquid filling the tube. "Little pinch," he spoke while wiping an alcohol wipe across her arm. Kayla's muscle released the ratcheted up tension as the drugs took effect. Negan stood nearby his brow furrowed as he watched the doctor get her into position.

"Can you hold her still Sir?" He asked, while sliding a towel under her back, the ends meeting above her good shoulder. Negan grunted, "how?"

"Hold the ends and pull away from me. I'm going to roll your shoulder back into joint Kay. It's gonna hurt but you'll get some relief right away, alright?"

"Sounds fabulous." She slurred, her lips feeling numb from the pain medication.

"Fuck, that sounds like the good shit Kay." Negan commented on her drunken sounding words. Snorting obnoxiously she joked, "yeah I should dislocate limbs a lot more often."

Laughing quietly Negan held the towel and pulled as the doctor rolled her arm back into socket. The medicine did nothing to mask the unadulterated agony she felt as the bone ground onto bone, the sound audible to everyone in the room.

"FUCK!" She screeched, her body arching off the bed, heels dug into the mattress while the joint popped loudly back into place. Her breathing was frantic, her chest heaving while tears streamed down her temples.

Her eyes were blurry but she could see Negan let go of the towel and crouch near her. The doctor was massaging the joint, his fingers checking for damage. Kayla felt fingers brushing away the wetness coating her cheeks and low murmuring, "shhh, it's over. You're alright."

Slowly her breathing evened out, the stabbing pain now a deep ache. The drugs made her sleepy, her eyes falling heavily.

"Is she going to be alright?" A hoarse voice asked over her. The response was muddled, her mind finding it hard to concentrate on the sounds of words.

" t'sbetter." She mumbled, her lids flicking open and closed a few times. A finger brushed across her forehead, hair tucked behind her ear. Blinking again she saw Negan sat in a folding chair next to the bed and he rasped, "sleep Kay. I'll see you in the morning."

* * *

Kayla was sitting up as the doctor fitted her sling, her injured shoulder now supported safely. The door burst open, Negan strolling in with Lucille propped on his shoulder.

"Good morning lazy ass." He quipped, his eyes holding more concern than he let on. Rolling her eyes she asked, "how long do I need this shit doc?"

"A month at least."

"Well fuck." Negan muttered, scrubbing his scruffy jaw, "you're off scavenge."

"I can still-."

"You're off!" He snapped, his teeth bared, "don't fucking question me Kay."

Clenching her jaw she looked away from his angry face, frustration at being weak.

"Everybody out." He growled, pointing Lucille at the door. Kayla chewed her lip as she heard the others exit. Negan strolled around the room whistling as if he didn't have a care in the world.

"Well. Are you going to talk or are you just going to strut around the room like some kinda asshole?!" She sneered, throwing a pillow at him. Negan swung on instinct, the bat hitting the pillow causing feathers to explode all over the room. They both froze as the little white fluff balls floated to the ground and stuck to their clothes.

Kayla's mouth dropped open in shock and then she began cackling, bent over at the waist. Negan glared at her with feathers sticking to his salt and pepper beard but she could see his lip twitching. After a long moment of Kayla laughing hysterically until tears ran down her face, Negan smirked while brushing feathers off his leather jacket.

"Fucking asshole." He muttered, coughing through an uncontrollable laugh.

"Don't lie." She laughed breathlessly, "That was fucking hilarious."

"Har-har. Lucille doesn't look nearly as intimidating dipped in fucking goose down."

Snorting obnoxiously Kayla picked a feather out of her hair and let it float to the ground. Peering up as he approached, she watched him pull another couple out of her hair and toss them aside.

"I don't want you hurt again. That's why you're off scavenge." He explained, his tone cautious, "I didn't enjoy you getting hurt."

"Pfft. Me neither." She joked, shifting uncomfortably at the heavy atmosphere suddenly surrounding them. Negan stood in front of her, his hand slowly reaching out to tilt her head up by the chin. "Just want you to be safe."

Kayla swallowed thickly and felt heat crawl up her neck. His dark eyes were consuming her, eating her alive. She could feel the rough callous on his thumb as it brushed across her jaw. Biting her lips she murmured, "I don't like being caged up."

Negan's eyes softened at the confession and he sat down next to her, Lucille lay across the foot of the bed. "You fucking know that isn't what this is."

Shrugging, "Not now but in the future? I'm not a wife, Negan."

He growled lowly, his eyes narrowing, "I know that."

"I don't need protection." She added, her eyebrow raised.

"Fuck off, everybody does at some fucking point."

Sighing she looked away, "Two weeks off scavenge, 'til I get my bearings of having one arm."

"Two weeks and Doc's go ahead."

"Fuck Doc he'll never give the go ahead."

"Exact-fucking-ly."

"Negan."

"Fucking hell. Alright alright. Can we stop fucking talking already, Jesus. You'd think you actually were a wife." He huffed standing up, brushing more feathers off his jacket. "Have fun explaining this shit to Doc." Negan sneered with amused eyes before striding to the door

"I'm blaming it on you, Ass!" She hollered after him.

* * *

It was halfway into her two week grounding and Kayla was going crazy. The only work she could accomplish was delivering laundry and even that had her back aching from the strain of using one arm. Sighing she hauled the bag over her good shoulder and climbed the last stairwell to the lieutenants floor, her destination at the end of the long hallway.

Knocking twice, Kayla heard the shuffle of feet and then the lock being turned. Jason propped his arm on the doorway and leaned out with a grin. "Well hello there."

Smirking at his friendly smile, she dropped the bag of laundry to the floor with a groan.

Frowning he muttered, "You shouldn't be working with that shoulder. You're gonna hurt it more."

Shrugging her good shoulder she replied, "I need the points and staring at walls all day is boring."

Rolling his eyes he said, "You know you don't need points."

"Why's that?" she growled knowing just where he was going with the statement. She wasn't a wife but everyone seemed to notice Negan's leniency for her.

"C'mon Kay. You know why." He replied, with a scowl and his arms crossed.

"I am not a wife. We aren't together. I work to eat just like everybody else." She snapped, her eyes angry. "You know what, fuck it." She sighed walking away from the doorway with heavy boots and angry stride.

"Wait!" Jason called out, his feet jogging after. "Wait. Kay. Wait."

Stopping as he reached her side, Kayla kept her eyes away and hard. "Kay," he murmured, his hand cupping her elbow. "Look at me."

Sighing through her nose she turned to see his saddened expression. "I just don't want to get you in trouble." He murmured, his eyes dipping to catch hers.

"It's fine." she mumbled, pulling her elbow from his grip. "I'll see you around."

"Hey wait. Um… they're having movie night in the common room tonight. Back to the Future. Wanna go.. as friends." He asked, his grin finally cracking. "No funny business from you, I'm not that kinda girl."

"Fuck off." She snorted, shaking her head with a smirk. "When does it start?"

"In about an hour. Meet me there?"

Nodding she smiled softly and drawled, "Yeah. You better bring popcorn."

"Or what?"

"Don't test me jackass."

* * *

Kayla was leaning against a wall next to Jason as they watched the 80's movie projected on the chipped wall of Sanctuary common room. She chuckled as he muttered the lines under his breath and a smirk on his face as he held the popcorn away from her.

"Uh-uh. No snacks for you, you're laughing at my mad memory skills." He taunted, pulling the bag farther from her.

Kayla glared at him but there was no heat in it, her lips twitching as he teasingly ate some with mischievous eyes. "Say please." He mumbled through a mouthful.

"Please kill me." She deadpanned, sulking next to him with pouted lips. Sighing loudly Jason leaned into her and murmured, "Fine. You don't have to cry about it."

Snorting she took a handful, munching loudly as Jason murmured along with the movie under his breath, "1.21 gigawatts….. What the hell is a gigawatt?"

Snorting she elbowed him and threatened, "I'm gonna punch you if don't stop whispering every line like some fan girl."

Jason's eyes narrowed but they held no real anger. "Stop pretending you hate it." He whispered, his mouth moving closer to her ear, "I know you think it's cute. That I'm cute."

Rolling her eyes she took another handful of popcorn and avoided his too blue eyes. "And so humble." She snarked, chuckling as he poked her in the ribs. Twisting to avoid his finger jab, Kayla sucked in a sharp breath as pain tore through her injured shoulder.

"Shit." He muttered, touching her back gently. "Are you ok?"

Kayla nodded and adjusted her sling with a little whimper. "Fuck."

"Here, let me take you to Doc. Okay?" He spoke gently trying to get her to stand. "Lemme alone McFly." She muttered, smacking his hand away. "I'm fine. Now shut up I wanna watch the movie."

Jason laughed quietly at her joke with his hands up in surrender, settling in next to her again and murmured, "I'm sorry I hurt you."

"Hurt her how?" Negan growled from above them. Jason's eyes became as large as saucers as he scrambled to his knees. Kayla only looked up with a frown, as Negan glared at Jason's bowed head.

"He didn't hurt me. I moved my shoulder. Can we watch this now? Please?" She whispered motioning to the spot next to her, "Wanna sit?"

Negan glowered at her, his dark gaze landing on Jason who had barely raised his head while the boss stood over him with Lucille hanging from his hand.

"No." he barked, his eyes scanning over the crowd before stomping out of the room loudly. Kayla snorted sinking back against wall she took another handful of popcorn while glancing at Jason who had barely relaxed.

"Calm down. He's gone."

"We can't do this anymore." He mumbled, handing her the bag of popcorn.

Kayla's heart sank as she realized Jason was calling off their tentative friendship already, "What?"

"This. Talk. Hang out."

"Why? Because of him?" Kayla asked with a furrowed brow and frown.

"Yeah. I prefer my nuts attached and my head whole. I'm sorry Kay." He spoke with regretful eyes. "I mean  _really_  fuckin' sorry because I actually like you… a lot."

Nodding she looked at her lap and murmured, "yeah.. me too."

"If you ever need anything, just let me know but it'll probably be safer if we don't hangout anymore."

Kayla nodded again and cleared her throat. "Yeah. Um I'm actually pretty tired. I think I'm gonna head to bed now."

Jason frowned but nodded at her words, "Yeah. Ok. Get some rest."

Without saying anything else, Kayla climbed to her feet and headed out of the common room. She passed by Simon who had a bleach haired blonde on his lap, his hand not so innocently under shirt.

"He went to his shop." He muttered as she strode passed. "Might wanna calm him down."

"That's not my fucking job." Kayla snapped loudly, people turning to stare at her. Lowering her voice she hissed, "I'm not a goddamn wife. Tell one of his whores to do it."

Simon stood up, dumping the blonde to the ground and grabbed her wrist. He pulled her out of the room and shoved her into the wall, his face dangerously close to hers. "It doesn't matter if you are or you aren't. You stay away from other men like Jason and you do as you're fucking told."

"Fuck you Simon." She growled, yanking away only to be shoved against the wall again. The pressure made her grimace, her shoulder joint throbbing at the movement.

"Do as I tell you." He growled in her face, his hand pressing into her shoulder.

"Or what?" She hissed, her teeth clenched tightly. "What're you gonna do huh? Hurt me? You think he'll let you get away with it just because you're his lap dog? Think he won't knock your fucking head off? Think again asshole." She sneered, pushing on his chest with her useable hand. "Now fuck right off you arrogant asshole!"

Simon smirked and nodded, "See. Thats all I needed to hear. You know he will kill anyone who lays a hand on you. Stay away from other men or you'll get them killed. Jason's a good worker and I prefer him alive. Got it?"

Kayla ground her teeth as the man stepped back, a large shit eating grin on his face. She watched him leave, the man sliding back into the common room to the girl he chose for the evening. Growling loudly she stomped away, her direction changing as she passed the stairwell leading to Negan's workspace.

She climbed the stairs with total determination, the urge to tell Negan to stuff his damn attitude up his ass but as she reached the door with a heavy fist, Kayla paused. Taking in a cleansing breath she tried to reel in the anger to keep a level head. There would be no good coming out of her stomping into the room and bitching about his controlling ways. Nothing would change and he would only get angrier with her.

"Just play nice Kay." She muttered under her breath. Knocking on the door she listened as his voice gritted out. "What?"

Taking that as an invitation Kayla entered the room to find Negan leaning against his desk while Amber gave him a blow job, her head bobbing even with the interruption. He smirked lasciviously at her, his hand tightening in his wife's hair and moaned, "Like what you see Kay?"

Clenching her jaw she growled, "Not really, no."

Amber pulled back despite Negan's growl of irritation and looked over her shoulder. "Fuck off. I'm giving  _my husband_  what he wants."

"Shut up Amber." He sneered, smacking her head lightly, "Keep sucking before I call Meredith in here. Keep talking Kay. I like you watching me get sucked off."

Kayla shook her head and muttered, "Whatever." Turning around she exited the room, her feet taking her as quickly as possible to her room. Slamming the door she growled loudly, "Fucking fucker."

Pacing back and forth, Kayla yanked her sling off and huffed out an irritated breath. She was angry that Jason wouldn't even sit next to her now because of Negan. She pissed at Negan for being a controlling dick by keeping people from being friends with her. Most of all she was pissed off at herself for feeling jealous of the buxom blonde who had been giving him a blow job.

* * *

The Alexandrians were all kneeling in the road; the main group used for supply runs and security was up front. Negan paced in front of them, his boots scuffing loudly on the broken concrete. Kayla shifted weight from one foot to the other, her heart beating faster than comfortable. She wasn't one of them. They'd held her prisoner, treated her like a criminal. But she couldn't help but want to stop whatever gruesome display Negan was about to partake in.

"This is the third time you've been short." He hollered, his hands wringing Lucille's grip. "I've been really fucking understanding up until now. I'm a reasonable fella. I know shit happens. It's the fucking apocalypse for Christ-fucking-sakes."

He grinned widely, waving a hand towards the walls, the sound of undead banging on the metal. "There are dead fucks walking around, dangerous people out to getcha!" He chuckled before his face went serious, the humor dying like a frost bitten plant. "That being said, this is the third fucking time you've shorted me Prick." Counting off on his gloved fingers he growled, "Not once, not twice but three fucking times."

He glared down at Rick who looked fit to be tied, his piercing blue eyes shining hot with rage. "We haven't had any luck. Our last supply team never made it back."

"That's not my fucking problem."

"We don't have enough people to get the quantities you want."

"You have plenty of fucking people." Negan drawled, resting Lucille on his shoulder as he paced, pointing at the men behind him, "I guaran-goddamn-tee me and one of mine could find twice the fucking haul you have here in half the time. Train your fucking people right and they won't die."

Kayla could feel eyes on her, turning her head slightly to see Michonne glaring at her. Clenching her teeth she turned away as Negan pulled a teenage girl forward, her face red with tears. Carl and Rick screamed out both knowing what was happening next.

In Negan's eyes they needed a reminder of what he was capable of, they needed to fear him and what would happen if they fucked up. Swallowing thickly Kayla watched as Dwight held his bow at Carl's head, the teen obviously involved with the girl about to be bludgeoned to death.

Without processing what she was about to do Kayla's mouth blurted, "Wait."

The pitch colored eyes that landed on her were colder than she'd ever seen, the razor edged gaze cut through her with brutal precision. Clearing her throat she watched him stride towards her, his large hand shoving her backwards and away from the group. She could hear his teeth grinding as they moved out of earshot.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?" He growled while fisting her shirt, his breathe hot on her face, Lucille's barbs were catching on her jeans.

"Just..." She stopped, swallowing nervously as she tried to find words for whatever the hell she was thinking. "Look at them. They don't have enough people as it is. Killing them off isn't going to help them find fucking supplies."

Negan's breathing was elevated, short puffs of air on her face as her words sunk in, his hand still fisting her clothing tightly. "You undermined me in front of these fucks  _and_ my men to save some dumb little twat, you think she's actually helping find supplies."

"Yeah I do." She murmured, glancing at the girl kneeling on the pavement. "I used to watch her climb the walls out, come back hours later with shit. She's scrappy."

Negan's lip twitched despite his anger, "You realize I'm going to have to punish them somehow."

"Well kick someone's ass or something. They need hands to find your shit."

Growling under his breath he murmured, "You know I'm going to have to punish you too. I can't let this go."

Nodding stiltedly, the vision of Negan pressing an iron to her face made her shudder. "Of course." Kayla croaked, her gaze dropping heavily.

Looking at her with tense eyes he gripped her neck, his large hand circling the tender flesh with biting fingers and bruising force. He pressed Lucille as close to her face as he could without cutting her, the spikes feeling like needles on her skin.

"Don't fucking question me again." He snarled, shaking her violently before tossing her to the ground like a rag doll. Kayla thumped to the ground her cheek scraping across the rough pavement. Grunting she watched him stomp over to the teen and bend at the waist, "That dumb fucking bitch over there just saved your life. You have no idea what that just cost her."

The girl glanced at Kayla who climbed to her feet, wiping blood from her cheek onto her forearm. She could feel a bruise blossoming across her cheek. Flicking her eyes over the group she could see a few staring at her in surprise. Kayla kept her gaze away from them and focused on Negan's next move, the woman unsure of how painful his reprimand was going to be.

"That mouthy twat brought up a good point though, you worthless pricks need all the assholes you got to find me my shit. So instead of smashing your pretty little skull in I'll settle for a less lethal payment."

Negan slowly took his belt off, his eyes meeting hers as he unwound it from his waist. With wide eyes she watched as Negan stepped on the girl's wrist, tying the belt into a tourniquet around her bicep while the girl cried out.

Motioning Kayla to come closer he asked, "How sharp is your machete?"

Swallowing thickly she looked at the girl and then at him, fear trickled down her spine.

"I asked you a fucking question!" he shouted, grinding his boot on the girl's hand. Kayla muttered, "Sharp enough."

"Good." He growled, tipping his chin to the girl on the ground. "You wanna save her life? Cut at the wrist."

"What?"

"Did I fucking stutter?" he snarled, his eyebrows raised and mouth scowled. "Because I don't think I fucking stuttered. How 'bout you boys? Did you hear me fucking stutter?" he shouted, before pointing at her aggressively, "You don't want anyone to die? Cut her fuckity fucking hand off or I'm going to bash the holy hell out two fucking dumbfucks now."

Kayla ground her teeth as she looked at the girl squirming underneath Negan's heavy boot. There was no escaping the order, she'd spoken up and gotten involved in something and now she was being punished just like the Alexandrians. The teen was losing a hand because they were short on supplies and dealing out the penance was punishing Kayla. She would've seen it as pretty ingenious if she weren't about to mutilate a teenage girl.

Sliding her blade out she kept her eyes on Negan, her teeth setting tightly. He smirked at her and encouraged, "That's  _my_  girl. Go on, one little hack and it's all over. Easy peasy lemon squeasy."

Rick looked as if he were about to lose his mind, his arms were holding Carl back as he watched red faced and rage filled. Taking in a slow breath she stared at the girl and murmured, "M'sorry."

Pulling her arm back high she swung down, the wicked blade rung through the air before it was stopped inches above the girl's wrist by Negan's quick hand.

"eh, eh, eh." He tsked, shaking his head while grinning maliciously. "You know. I think I've changed my fucking mind about this deal."

"But-." Kayla started only to be cut off with him yanking her machete away and without pause Negan sneered, "Hold onto your panties, Sweetheart."

Pulling back Negan swung downward, the sharp blade splitting the teenagers wrist in half. Blood sprayed out as her hand fell to the side. The girl was screaming in such a horrifying way it made Kayla's heart stop, she stumbled backwards on shaking limbs.

A few people got sick, the sight becoming too nauseating. Negan hooted loudly while slapping a few of the more disturbed Saviors on the shoulders. The Alexandrians were crying but no one moved from their spots, they'd learned from their mistakes before. The girl's cries faded off as she lost consciousness either from blood loss or shock. Negan sauntered away, flicking blood off the blade onto Rick and Carl, "There. No one died, well yet. Hopefully you still got a doctor around." He laughed deeply, his eyes landing on Kayla.

"There. Happy? She still has one hand to find me shit." He spoke through a cheshire grin, his face speckled with the girl's blood.

Kayla dropped her eyes to the ground and waited for the next instructions. She was emotionally and physically wiped out. All she wanted was to get back to Sanctuary and find some kind of alcohol to drown the memories of the day.

* * *

They were back at Sanctuary and Kayla was standing in Negan's office. She watched him as he order a few people around before dismissing them. His eyes landed on her and she watched him frown. The man scrubbed his jaw tiredly before crossing his arms over his broad chest.

"What the fuck am I gonna do with you?" He growled, shaking his head while looking at the ceiling. "Jesus Christ. If you were anyone else I would've busted your fucking head open."

"M'sorry." She murmured, her chest aching in an odd way. It was almost as if she was ashamed for questioning him. Negan approached, his tall frame crowding her petite one.

"Look at me." He rasped, his hot breath ghosting over her temple.

Kayla swallowed thickly and tilted her head up. She met his gaze with watery eyes, her nerves flaring as anxiety rolled through her. Negan narrowed his in return, the man seeing something he hadn't before.

"How the fuck do you expect me to punish you when you give me those eyes?" He drawled, the gruffness of his voice a sharp contrast to the softness of his words. Kayla dropped her chin to her chest a shudder running up her spine, the sound making her stomach clench in a peculiar way.

She flinched when a large hand encircled her wrist, Negan's thumb brushing long passes along her pulse point.

"You're hearts racing doll." He rasped, "Gotta say it turns me the fuck on feeling you tremble."

Kayla bit her lip at the intense heat that bloomed from her core, her shuddered breath making the man tighten his grip. Pulling gently, Negan brought her closer, his other hand gripping her hip. She could feel the heat from his body pressed against her front, the hard outline of his dick had her unconsciously moving closer.

"You aren't making this easy. I should burn your face like every other fucking disobedient asshole." He murmured, his lip brushing along the shell of her ear, "but now I want to bend you over my goddamn knee."

A sharp intake of air filled her lungs and the woman felt herself lean towards him. A low chuckle vibrated through his chest, his hand sweeping the hair off her shoulder. Slowly he traced the curve of her neck with his nose, inhaling deeply as he went.

"You fucking want it don't you. A sore pink ass." He growled, his hand slide down to grip the curve of her ass. Kayla was panting, the strange swing in emotional states making her dizzy. She didn't want that, to be a wife or whatever it was he wanted. The sensations she was having were purely animal attraction she told herself as she tried to pull away.

"Could make this whole thing go away, start fresh and new." Negan suggested, tilting her chin up to see her. He let his eyes take in every line of her face before he rasped, "Be my wife Kay."

Swallowing thickly she was screaming on the inside, ordering herself to get her head on straight. Shaking her head in a few short jerks, Kayla stumbled away and choked out, "I can't... Won't... I won't be that or them."

Negan glared at her for a moment, his brows furrowing angrily. "Why not?"

"It's not what I want." She replied, her hands turning into tight fists. Kayla couldn't be one of those women, the weak ones who couldn't take care of themselves, the weak ones that gave into his charm and wide smiles. She wasn't going to be just another woman he fucked when he was horny.

"I can practically taste how bad you want me Kay." He leered while wetting his lips slowly, his eyes dropping down her body.

"I'm not denying that."

Negan's eyes jumped to hers and he asked, "Well what the fuckity fuck is the problem?"

"I don't want to be just another hole you fuck."

"Jesus fucking Christ Kay, vulgar much?" He snarked, "I treat my women well, they aren't treated like sex dolls, Jesus."

"It doesn't matter Negan, it's not for me. I'm sorry for what I did earlier. I'll accept whatever punishment you feel is appropriate but I'm not going to be a wife... Ever."

Negan's face went cold and he stepped away from her, his arms crossing and jaw setting tightly. "Your fucking loss, Kay. You're going to the west outpost for two weeks. They've been having problems controlling the walker populations. You leave in the morning. Get out of my fucking sight."

Nodding she moved to the door and was almost through it when he hollered, "When you change your mind about sucking my fat one let me know. My bedroom door's always open to you."

 


	7. Chapter 7

The west outpost was not a place Kayla found appealing in anyway. It had once been a slaughterhouse for pigs, the place still reeking of spoiled meat and the ground dyed permanently deep scarlet from decades of spilled blood.

She joined the others clearing the pit they'd dug for walkers, a few using bows and others long spears. A large fishing net was laid in the bottom of the pit allowing them to lift the corpses free to be burned. When the pits were clear they walked the woods in pairs killing all they came across. Kayla had been paired with an unsettling man who went by the nickname Creep. The man was huge, even bigger than Negan, with bulging arms and ham hock hands. He had a shaved slick baldhead and wore a dirty thermal shirt, the neck ringed with stains of blood or mud or something else unappealing. She grimaced at the sight of him alone but the smell was also awful, a sweaty musk that had her nose scrunched permanently. He rarely spoke; simple one-word answers or mild expressions were about all she could get out of him. His eyes were black and piercing, his stare probably the worst thing about him. It wasn't lascivious but still invasive. She felt her skin crawl just having him glance at her. Kayla couldn't help but wonder if it was just another part of her punishment, a prison sentence with Creep being her cellmate.

The pair walked through the woods, Kayla not only keeping her eyes on the trees beyond but also Creep. She wasn't too sure the man gave a shit that Negan would kill him if he hurt her, so letting her guard down was ill advised.

The sound of a couple clumsy biters groaning through the brush had both of them pausing, Kayla peering around a trunk to check it out. Three walkers were stuck in a thick swath of mud, their limbs reaching for a shopping bag tangled in a tree limb.

Sliding forward, Kayla sliced her machete through one skull as Creep shoved his knife into the base of the other. Slipping in the mud she grappled with the third, its skin peeling off in sticky layers.

"Fuck." She grunted, shoving the dead's face away from her neck. A giant knife point plunged through its eye, spraying her with blood, as Creep killed the one fighting her. Huffing out a few breathes she pushed the dead body away, the creature falling heavily to the mud. Creep reached a hand out towards her and she only hesitated a moment to take it.

"Thanks." She mumbled as he helped free her from the slick mud. Giving her a nod he turned and began walking again towards their original destination. She swallowed thickly and followed the man, his hulking frame lumbering through the narrowing trees. Pausing suddenly, Creep glanced back at her and motioned his chin to the ground. There were dozens of footprints, all moving in the same direction they were heading. Nodding she murmured, "I'm game if you are." She felt his eyes scan her as if assessing her skills before he turned and continued ahead.

Eventually they came across what looked like a campsite, the fire cold but used recently. A few empty cans were strewn around and the bones of small game. Kayla scanned the ground and pointed in the direction she thought they headed. Creep looked at it and gave her a nod, the man following the prints without a word. Reaching a road they realized the trail went cold, the group either using the road to travel by foot or they had a vehicle. Without any idea of where they went, the pair returned to the woods and searched for any other sight of the living while killing any walkers they found.

Three hours later as the sun set, Kayla and Creep returned to the outpost. They reported their findings, the lieutenant running the outposts security seeming unconcerned. He instructed them to continue their search in the morning before they'd report it to Sanctuary.

Kayla was filthy from being caught in mud and sprayed with numerous disgusting fluids. Grimacing at the way her clothes clung to her, she used the bathroom to wash up and headed to bed. The next morning would be much the same, her penance becoming something close to a hard labor sentence.

* * *

She had just laid down on the tiny cot when the sound of gunfire broke out way too close for comfort. The group guarding the outpost knew not to use ammunition unless absolutely neccassary so either they were surrounded by dead or they were being attacked. Gathering her machete as well as her hand gun, Kayla slid out of her room and down the hallways. Finding an invading group was surprising but more than that was their appearance. All wore filthy clothing, dripping in fresh walker gore as well as old crusted remnants. She peeked around the corner and saw one of them trying to stab a savior pinned on the ground. Running down the hallway she threw her machete at the man above the savior, the blade sinking in with a satisfying crunch. Another invader exited a door just as she was about to reach the downed man, without much choice she slide on her side, her leg bowling him over. Kayla grabbed her curved knife with a quick flick of her wrist, shoving it upright into the man's gut. She twisted it sharply, killing him with a deep wound to his stomach as his innards spilled to the floor. In one swift motion she plunged the knife into the base of his skull before throwing it into the chest of another approaching invader. Kayla had never been in hand to hand combat before but the tricks Shane and the military men she travelled with had taught her were definitely coming in handy. Yanking her machete out of the dead man still laying atop the savior, Kayla nodded to him and said. "Get the fuck up and kill something."

Stalking down the hallway she heard grunts and the sound of flesh being pummeled. Turning the corner she found Creep pounding the face of some stranger into the ground, the person's bones collapsing under the weight. He looked over his shoulder at her, his face sprayed with blood and eyes still dead.

"C'mon. He's dead. There are more of 'em up ahead."She hissed, motioning him to head down the hallway with her. Climbing to his feet he followed her, his body almost taking up the whole hallway. Grunting he tipped his head to the doorway leading to the makeshift armory, telling her to go ahead.

Kayla paused as she heard rapid gunfire coming from the armory as well as thunderous shots outdoors. Pulling out her handgun, she peeked around the corner to see the invading force trying to enter the gun room while firing at Saviors trying to intercede. They had crow bars shoved into the metal door trying to pry it open. The room was once an industrial walk in freezer, the doors and walls made of thick metal. On the floor were two dead outpost residents, blood pooling at the feet of the men shooting into the killing floor. Pulling her gun up she quickly popped off four rounds taking out two more of the strangers. Creep stepped forward to head straight for them but Kayla grabbed his wrist to stop him. His eyes landed on her, his mouth curling into a sneer.

"Wait." She murmured, "they have an AR."

Just as she spoke rapid gunfire hit the corner next to Creep's head, plaster crumbling and flying out. Ducking down he dipped his head in thanks and then took out his own gun, the desert eagle looking small in his giant hands. While kneeling he edged his way to the corner and fired three loud rounds at the strangers. Kayla's ears were ringing from all the gunfire, her head pounding with adrenaline. She trailed after Creep as they found the invaders surrounding the door dead. There was more gunfire outside causing the pair to follow it promptly. As they passed dorm rooms they found dead Saviors, all shot dead or gutted. Kayla was thankful for having a room furtherest from the entry door, it seeming the only reason she hadn't been shot in her sleep.

The invasion was over almost as soon as it started it seemed to Kayla, the woman checking the whole property with Creep as other living Saviors took care of the injured and secured the structure. The grounds were flooded with the dead, Kayla being unsure if the dead were drawn in by the gunfire or if they were there before.

The man beside her began tracking the fleeing attackers, his eyes narrowed and mouth scowled. Kayla wasn't sure if he was angry that they were attacked or that his sleep was disturbed but either way she kept quiet. It was almost pitch black out, the woman tripping several times as they hiked through the surrounding woods. With a small weak flashlight Creep would intermittently check if he was still on course. Running into a few more dead than they would've liked Kayla grunted, "we need to blend in."

Sneering at the comment, Creep didn't wait for her explanation, the man gutting the corpse he'd just taken down. Without overthinking it, Kayla shoved her hands into the dead body and began camouflaging herself with walker gore. Afterwards they both scowled at each other, Kayla gagging more than a few times before they began following the trail again.

* * *

"What the fuck do you mean she left the fucking outpost?" Negan sneered, his eyes livid and posture puffed and aggressive. It had Daryl looking down, the weight of the man's ire suffocating. He wasn't scared of Negan, Daryl barely gave a shit if he lived another day but he was scared of what Negan would do to his family. The others in Alexandria would still be at his mercy and if being Negan's damn whipping boy kept Daryl in the know, at least he could do something before it was too late. He didn't have any grand plans to save them all, he wasn't too sure there was any saving to be had in their current situation but maybe he could stop something before it happened. Just as he had struggled to believe there were still good people in the world, he now struggled to see any kind of happy ending for any of them.

"Her and Creep left the compound to tail the group who attacked." Dwight informed while shifting uncomfortably under Negan's glare.

"Why the fuck was she working with Creep of all fucking people?" Negan growled, fisting Dwight's shirt.

"You said she was being punished for shit. Thought what better punishment than workin with that fuckin weirdo." He muttered, his eyes shifting to the nearness of Lucille to his head.

"Great plan there fucko." Negan smacked him upside the head with a loud slap, "If that psycho got her killed out there I'm grilling the other side of your face like a goddamn Big Mac."

Daryl kept back as Negan stomped over to a man bleeding from his face, the guys clothes covered in blood and torn.

"You, what the fuck happened?" He demanded, pointing Lucille up and down the hallway. "From the fuckin top."

A few men began speaking at once, causing Negan to shout, "DID I FUCKING ASK YOU CHUCKLEFUCKS?" His voice thundered down the hallway as his eyes darted over the other men speaking. He cupped his ear comically as they all shook their heads. "No I didn't. I asked this shit stain to tell me. The next cock gobbler who opens his mouth better be chugging my knob or I'm knocking the holy hell out of your puckered taints."

The hallway grew silent as he twirled Lucille in his hand before he sneered, "come the fuck on and enlighten me how a bunch of blood covered freaks broke into my goddamn outpost."

The guy swallowed thickly, his eyes shifting from the others to Negan's enraged face, "They hit at shift change. They musta been watchin' us awhile because we rotate the time shifts every third day."

Negan gestured for him to get on with it, his face deeply scowled and hand twisting Lucile's handle.

"They took out Fresno and Tim first, then got into the killing floor from the upper windows." He detailed, his hand pressing into his head as blood began to drip from his chin again. "Once inside, I guess they started with the dorms while a group of 'em hit the armory."

"Did they get in?"

"Nah. That bitch and Creep picked 'em off." Another guy chimed in, the man receiving the mother of all glares from the boss.

"Excuse me? What was that you just said?" Negan growled, his gloved hand tightening into a fist. Daryl had noticed the man's attentions on Kayla quite frequently. If he was bold enough, Daryl would say Negan actually cared for her but that wasn't exactly possible since the man was dead inside.

Daryl couldn't help but feel responsible for her being on Negan's radar, he after all was the one who brought her back to Alexandria. The woman had been held for no reason other than fear of what she could do and Rick's misguided efforts to make amends for killing Shane. Daryl understood why he needed that, needed to fix a wrong even when what he did was right. The worst part of the whole situation was Daryl could tell now that Kayla would probably have been fine, she would've adjusted to life in Alexandria just as she had in Sanctuary. He had stood in the background as she spoke up to keep Enid from being killed, Daryl couldn't even think about speaking up in that situation. The last time he'd done so, Glenn had been murdered and he'd been taken. He should've been surprised at her boldness but given that she was Shane's sister it didn't seem so shocking. Both siblings not only had quick tempers and fragile control over it but also made decisions without thinking of consequences.

"K-Kayla I mean Kayla and Creep." He stammered, his face pale from more than blood loss. "Sorry sir." He added with a bow of his head.

Negan grinned maliciously at him and snapped "con-fucking-tinue numbnuts."

"Once those guys were dead, the rest ran." He spoke with a tentative glance at Negan. "Kayla and Creep decided to follow them. They'd seen prints earlier in the day so they knew a direction."

"I didn't hear anything about any fucking tracks." He snapped, his glare landing on the injured lieutenant.

"We were going to do another search in the morning and report to you at roll call."

Seemingly satisfied with the excuse he glanced around and asked, "Is there anything you fucktards want to contribute?"

A man with a black eye and bruises on his neck raised his hand. Barking out a laugh, Negan jeered, "that's more fucking like it. None of this talking over bullshit." Motioning for the man to talk, Negan rested Lucille on his shoulder as he listened to the man chatter.

"Man I never seen no shit like that. Girl was just slayin those pricks." Savior reported, his hand lowering swiftly. "I was fightin this fuck and I look up and she's runnin down the hall, throws her machete, blam! The guy on me is dead, meanwhile this other fuck is running at her. She runs straight at him then last minute slid straight into his legs." He kicks his leg out demonstrating what he saw. "Trips the dumbfuck like a bowling pin and then guts that motherfucker." He chuckled before drawling, "that girl is the real fuckin deal. I won't be fuckin with her ever. Her and Creep pretty much took out everybody who breached the place. They took off after it was secure again. He can track and she was looking to kill some motherfuckers apparently, thats why they went together."

Negan ordered a few groups to head out and begin searching for not only the people responsible for the attack but also Kayla and Creep. Daryl followed Dwight into the woods, his normal relaxation in the wild sinking into his bones. He found himself breathing easier and his shoulders dropping slightly.

"Fuckin bullshit. Out searching for some piece of fuckin pussy." Dwight complained under his breath, his eyes jumping back to Daryl as if remembering he was there.

"Hurry the fuck up." Dwight barked, while taking the lead, his arms holding Daryl's bow as if it belonged there. Daryl narrowed his eyes, glaring at the man ahead of him but keeping up with the angry stride. It was obvious that Dwight was less than impressed with Kayla and Negan's relationship, the scarred man almost sounding jealous.

"I get why you locked her up. She's nothing but fucking trouble." Dwight spoke as they hiked further from the others. "Stupid bitch is probably just running now. Doesn't know how good she has it."

Daryl didn't speak, his eyes catching sight the prints of a small pair of boots and a larger set of mens shoes. Pausing a moment, he kept his expression flat as they passed by the trail, Dwight oblivious to the prints. For some reason unknown to Daryl he kept them from actually following the woman. He figured if she was really running from Sanctuary, from everyone and everything, she deserved freedom. Daryl decided if he could help her escape the domineering man he could make up for putting her in the situation to begin with. Maybe he could be forgiven for all the misguided decisions he'd made. Maybe if he saved her from a fate in Sanctuary he could be forgiven for causing Glenn's death. Maybe the crushing guilt would finally lift from his chest.

* * *

They'd trailed the other group for miles coming to a home base out of a old logging manufacture. They had numbers, not as many as Sanctuary but enough to cause concern. Creep and Kayla laid low while getting a good idea of the group's numbers, skills and compound. She wrote down directions and other information on an old envelope hoping to remember everything of use. Negan wasn't going to be happy about a neighboring group, let alone an aggressive one.

When they headed back to the outpost, the pair found themselves stuck as a rainstorm tore through the area. The dry creek they'd crossed over was now a rapid moving river, thick chunks of land washing away as trees were ripped from the earth. Kayla and Creep spent the evening crouched in a shallow cave, the rain coming down in sheets.

"Well. This sucks donkey balls." She muttered, sweeping her soaked hair off her forehead. Creep glanced at her and grunted, the man hunched uncomfortably under the barely there eave.

Her stomach growled as the lack of breakfast and dinner made itself know. Wrapping an arm around her middle she tried to conceal the weakness. They didn't have many rations and the food would need to last them. There was no telling when the storm would let up and as with all thunderstorms, the dead were more active. The deep rolling thunder and flashes of lightening were riling them up, the clumsy corpses were shuffling just a dozen feet away below them. The pair was trapped for the forceable future.

"Here." Creep grunted, his hand holding a crushed granola bar.

"Only if we share it." She replied, the woman unable to be seen as needy. He seemed surprised at the request but still split the minuscule meal. Crunching the stale granola, Kayla watched as the dead clambered against the steep rock wall below them, broken fingers clawing at rough granite.

"Tomorrow were gonna need to haul ass." She remarked, looking back as he man poured the rest of the crumbs from the wrapper into his mouth. Nodding he grunted in agreement before ticking his head to the small spot behind him. "Sleep."

"Pffft. Yeah right." Kayla muttered, ringing her hair out and pulling at her soaked shirt. "I feel like a drowned rat, I won't be able to sleep."

Creep shrugged, leaning into the jagged wall to sleep himself. Kayla kept watch, her eyes flinching at every giant lightening strike and clap of thunder.

* * *

"We can't lead them back to Sanctuary." Kayla hissed, as the pair hide inside a small town pharmacy, the shelves long raided and empty. They had spent two days waiting out the herd inside the cave and once they exited they soon found themselves tailed by the other group. Fleeing through multiple small communities, Kayla and Creep found themselves closer to Sanctuary than the outpost. If they went to their home base, they'd lead the others straight to Negan's doorstep. That would be the easiest way to get their heads caved in by a pissed off Negan.

Creep raised a questioning eyebrow at her, his face dirty from living in the woods for days. Kayla sighed, peeking through the blinds to see if the others were still following them. A flash of movement on the roof top across the street had her freezing in place.

"They're here." She murmured, pointing out the filthy person crawling along the eaves stealthily. "We need to lose them and go to the outpost. They know where that is already. At least the place will be fortified by now."

Nodding, he turned and headed to the back door without a word, Kayla shuffled after him while pulling her bag back on.

"Hold your horses." She growled, reaching Creep just as he peeked out the door leading to a alleyway.

Pointing he motioned to the woods behind the building and scanned the area before taking off for cover. Growling Kayla looked up and down the alleyway before running after the man, gunfire suddenly cracking the air around her. Chips of brick hit her as she ran full speed after Creep, the man now firing at the gunman with his last few rounds. Once she reached him she growled, "run."

* * *

Kayla and Creep had been gone for nearly two weeks, two exhausting and stress filled weeks. After sitting out the storm and running from the hostile group they'd found themselves stuck by a herd, the dead seeming to circle them as they hid in the mountains scavenging cabins and forest ranger perches. At one point Kayla had sworn the other group was herding the dead around like cattle dogs. The gore covered individuals seemed to be harnessing the walking corpses like their own personal army of undead. It was an all new kind of threat, one that they may not be able to win against.

The only way they escaped was a freak accident while crossing a rickety wood bridge over a large ravine. After the pair crossed, a group of dead tried to follow, the weight collapsing the worn planks. Dozens of the biters plummeted into the deep gorge while others walked off the edges like lemmings. As soon as they noticed their escape the pair hauled ass to the outpost with hopes of finally escaping their pursuers.

"How much further?" She asked Creep who was striding next to her, his clothing coated in mud and blood just like Kayla. They'd been keeping a low profile while watching the other group, both using the filth of the dead to camouflage themselves.

"Hour." He grunted, the man keeping true to his one word answers. Kayla wasn't necessarily afraid of Creep anymore, he was still odd and off putting but she didn't think he'd stab her in the back anymore. Both had to save the other in numerous ways while surviving together, which always caused a level of trust.

"Thank fuck." She muttered, wiping her cheeks as rain started to fall yet again. "I'm pretty sure I even have guts between my toes."

A deep chuckle had Kayla's eyes shooting up to the giant next to her. She saw a flicker of a smirk before he was a blank slate again. It was surprising seeing as he had barely said more than a handful of words to her in their time together. For some reason she decided it was her new goal, to make Creep not so creepy.

"So is it a family name?" She asked, her eyes meeting his hesitatingly. She wasn't sure what might occur trying to engage a conversation with the guy but fuck if she was bored to death of walking and killing and walking some more.

His eyes landed on her and she still felt her skin prickle but the stare wasn't as all seeing. Rolling his shoulder he spoke something close to a sentence. "Doesn't matter, just is."

Nodding, the statement sounding similar to her own theory, it didn't matter who they were before, those people didn't exist anymore. No one was the same as before. Creep may have been Steve or Joe once but he was Creep now. Good or bad, it was what it was.

"Sounds about right." Kayla muttered, stepping under the outer fence of the outpost. "Thanks for saving my ass out there." She added, her lip curled as he looked genuinely surprised.

"Likewise." He replied gruffly, an awkwardness in his tone. Leaving him alone for the rest of the walk, Kayla felt relieved to see the building come into focus. She didn't think the disgusting place could ever be called home but after the last two weeks it looked like a mirage. Creep whistled the signal of a friendly before they reached the scouts eyeshot, the return call coming instantly. They walked through the fields edge and saw there were quite a few people guarding the perimeter. It was obvious orders had come down to tighten security.

"You both look like shit." Frank exclaimed as they trudged to the opening gate. "Where the fuck were you two? Boss has had everybody out looking and he is close to killing anybody who looks at him funny."

Rolling her eyes she asked for all things that were holy to let him be pissed at the situation and not her. She didn't want to deal with any other shit like controlling dickheads with a penchant for making mountains out of mole hills.

* * *

She felt almost human again after being freshly showered while she shoveled a plate full of rice and eggs into her mouth. Kayla watched as Creep did the same, his dish empty before she was a third of the way through. The cook glanced around for witnesses and gave him another serving while explaining, "you two saved out asses. You deserve seconds."

Creep grunted in return, his words securely locked away again. Kayla waved the offering of more off and muttered, "Give mine to him if he wants it. I'm gonna sleep until the boss shows up."

Crawling into bed Kayla groaned as her body screamed with exhaustion from the long expedition. She'd never been so tired, even when on her own with no one to stand guard. She lay with her hand resting on her gun, the memories of the last time she lay in the bed as people attacked making her on edge despite the extra security.

Kayla flung upright on bed with a racing heart as a loud knock shook her door before the wood burst open from a solid kick. Her gun raised instantly, her eyes wide and chest heaving as Negan's shape filled the door. Lowering it she gasped, "Jesus you scared the fuck out of me."

"You." He glowered at her, his teeth clenched so tight the word hissed passed his snarled lips. The man began pacing the small room after slamming her destroyed door with a vicious swing. It hung on one hinge, the doorjamb splintered and useless.

Kayla stayed seated as Negan's large angry form circled her room, Lucille gripped in his tight hand as he pointed at her with his gloved finger "You have no fucking clue." He growled, his face scowled and twisted. "I should smash you fucking head in."

"Jesus what did I do?"

"What did you do? Fucking Christ on a crutch, what didn't you?" He exclaimed, kicking a small folding chair into the wall. Stomping forward he pointed Lucille in her face and hissed, "you've been gone two fucking weeks. Do you have any idea the amount of resources I spent looking for your stupid fucking ass? Huh?"

"It's not like I planned it!" She exclaimed, leaning away from the sharp barbs only to earn a low growl from the man towering above her bed.

"Do not speak. You will fucking listen and not say a goddamn word." He snarled, his eyes dark and narrow, his ire direct solely at her. Kayla swallowed thickly and dropped her eyes to the bat still too close for comfort, it's once silver barbs rust colored with blood. Negan followed her eyes and suddenly the anger that had fueled him seemed to seep from his body. Standing upright, Negan gently placed Lucille on the other cot before sitting down heavily on hers. Kayla was still pressed against the wall, her body behind his. She could make out his profile as he scrubbed his jaw roughly, a low growl emanating from his chest as he seemed to try and calm down.

Kayla swallowed nervously and moved forward to sit next to him on the edge of the bed, her leg brushing against his clenched fist. Turning his head he finally looked at her with more than just anger, there was relief in his eyes. Kayla noticed the dark circles framing his gaze and the salt and pepper scruff which had grown longer since she last saw him.

"Can I speak now?" She whispered, her eyes flickering over his unusually disheveled state.

"Might as well. It isn't like you fucking do as I say anyways." He huffed, raking a hand through his messy hair.

"I'm sorry I worried you." She muttered quietly, startling slightly as he jumped to his feet.

"I wasn't fucking worried about you." He barked, pointing at her again. "I was fucking pissed that you disobeyed again. You left the outpost without permission."

"I was doing my job."Kayla replied. "It's why I was put here right? Protect the perimeter?"

"You were here to kill the dead. Not run off on some fucking fools errand." He growled, "or maybe you were off fucking that dumb fucker in the woods huh? Off living it up away from the rules. Away from your penance?"

"Jesus." She muttered, scrubbing her eyes before replying, "I wasn't fucking anyone."

"Right." He hissed, crossing his arms. "So while on vacation what did you find? You get lost in the woods like some dumbass?"

Kayla snapped her mouth shut and glared at him, her temper flaring without control. Negan glowered back at her, his mouth curling into a sneer, "you better wipe that look off your face before I do."

Looking down she ground her teeth and tried to keep her anger for the man's outburst inside. It was obvious Negan had been upset with her disappearance and for some unknown reason cared if she never returned. However he wasn't going to admit such a weakness to anyone, least of all her.

"Get dressed and meet me in the fucking office. You are going to tell me every-fucking-thing." Turning on his heel, Negan scooped Lucille up and strode out with a loud stride. Slamming the door open, the broken wood falling to the floor as the last hinge tore from the wall.

Sighing she climbed to her feet and pulled on her boots, moaning as the pain from her blister covered heels screamed.

* * *

Kayla headed to the office that held their high range radio used to communicate with Sanctuary. The room was essentially the command center for the outpost, the walls lined with lists of supplies inventories as well as planned pick ups.

She knocked before entering, Negan's voice bellowing, "fucking enter already."

Rolling her eyes at his tone, she opened the door and slid inside, closing it behind her softly. Negan was standing with Simon as they looked over a table full of maps as well as lists of what supplies and gear they'd need to take the other group down. Creep stood nearby, his thick arms crossed as Kayla stood next to him. Dipping her chin in his direction she watched him nod once in greeting. Staying silent she waited for them to complete their discussion, her eyes drooping with exhaustion.

After a long moment Negan looked at them as the anger returned to his eyes.

"Why the flying fuckity fuck did you think it was alright to go off on some fucking field trip? Huh?" He growled at both of them but his eyes didn't leave her. Kayla held back a snide remark knowing it wasn't the time. Negan was more likely to snap if pushed while already at the edge.

Choosing to change the subject she replied, "we have a problem."

Negan jaw tightened as he became pissed at her avoiding the question but the desire to know what she knew seemed to be winning.

Creep spoke causing everyone to look at him in surprise. "Couldn't risk losing them."

Pulling out the envelop she'd taken from a mail box, Kayla handed over everything they'd discovered. There were directions to the place, details of numbers and security as well as scavangeable supplies written on the damp paper. Negan and Simon looked it over and the tension began to dissipate.

"We weren't sure where we were but found a row of mailboxes. Figured out the city. Those are directions down clear roads, some were barricaded but those are back routes." Kayla explained as she pulled out her own map, it was waterproofed with tape she'd bought with her points. The habit grew from traveling with military, the constant need to know exactly where she was at any given time.

"This is good." Simon muttered, his finger tracing the routes they had written down. Kayla could feel Negan staring at her, the man's gaze far from pissed off now.

"So what's the fucking problem? I can walk in a knock them out with my big dick. Pick off the big mouths and make another earner out of the rest of them." Negan muttered, his arms crossed.

"They're using the dead." She replied glancing at Creep for input. The man rolled a shoulder and tipped his chin to urge her to continue. Snorting she looked back at a glowering Negan and explained, "they wear gore. Blood, guts, skin. We watched them lead a group of a hundred head around. They can over run anything and anyone they want to with numbers like that."

Simon's eyebrows were raised, his fingers smoothing his mustache in thought. Negan stayed quiet for a moment before he muttered, "fucking freaks."

"Send out a few groups in the morning. I don't give a rough fuck if these pussies ride goddamn unicorns, I own them." Negan sneered, pointing at the place the group called home. "We are fucking them the fuck up. They need to know what they did isn't fucking cool. I'm going to mushroom stamp each of their fucking foreheads with my giant cock."

Shifting uncomfortably, Kayla felt her feet throbbing from being on the run so long, "Not to be a little bitch but can I sit down. I have blisters on top of blisters."

"Don't be a pussy." Negan sneered but his eyes twinkled with amusement. Simon smirked, tucking his shirt in as he stood up. "I think you should make her stand for runnin' off like some wild Indian."

Kayla huffed out an irritated breath but stayed in place waiting for permission. She'd already fucked up by undermining him and then she left the outpost without the go ahead.

A slow smile spread across Negan's face and he threw his head back, laughing at her cemented feet. Slapping Simon on the shoulder he rasped, "go head out and get shit rolling. You too weirdo." Negan motioned for Creep to leave, the large man hesitating a moment as he looked down at Kayla before heading out without another word.

Simon smirked at her before leaving the room, Kayla standing in her spot while inwardly cursing both men for being assholes. Once the door was closed she let her irritation show, her mouth turning into a frown.

"Oh come on doll. Where's that sense of humor I love huh?" He teased, plopping down in his seat with a satisfying groan. Slowly he pulled his long legs up to prop the giant motorcycle boots on the corner, a mirth filled grin creasing his scruffy cheeks.

Kayla wanted to strangle the dumb ape but kept her feet planted.

"Ugh, you're no fucking fun sweetheart." He complained with a overworked pout, his hands folded on his stomach. Kayla bit her cheek as her heels throbbed, the statement about her feet hurting being nothing but truthful. When she finally removed her boots and socks she had found some substantial blisters from hiking in wet gear.

"Sit. Jesus. No reason to be a fucking baby about it."

Kayla didn't wait another moment, she limped to the chair and sat down with deep sigh.

"Are you actually hurting that bad?" Negan asked scratching his jaw as he looked her over for injury. She had acquired a few scrapes and numerous bruises but the blisters on her feet were the worst part.

"I didn't have any dry socks." She explained with a shrug, "my feet are kinda fucked up."

"Lemme see." He asked leaning forward with a morbid curiosity crossing his face.

"No way."

"Why do you have ugly toes?" He spoke with a grin, "like hairy caveman toes or are they all curled and fuck ugly?"

Kayla chuckled and muttered, "I have normal feet, they're just all gross from walking so much."

"Do you need a doctor?"

"No. I'm going to keep them dry and wrapped."

"Seriously. I wanna see them. I'm curious now." He encouraged while motioning her to remove her boots.

"Jesus Christ, don't we have better things to do?" Kayla complained while unlacing her boots. Once they were off, she rolled her socks down and showed him the destructed heels.

"Oh fucking shit that's gross." Negan grimaced, his nose scrunched and mouth curled in disgust. "They look like some undead fucks feet."

"Yeah and it feels great too."

Frowning deeply, he offered, "I can get Mac to look at them, he was a medic."

"I'm fine. I just need to rest them." She muttered moving to put her shoes back on.

"Leave 'em off for now. Let them breath." He instructed, "only way they'll heal."

Kayla sat there uncomfortably exposed despite it being only her feet.

"And FYI you don't have normal feet. They're freakishly tiny and cute." He spoke with a grin while adding, "if I was into foot jobs I'd hit you up for one."

"Liar. You know you're into anything you can get." She joked, making the man laugh heartily, his hand smoothing down his scruff. Kayla smirked at the pleasant sound coming from him, relaxing back into the chair. "Are you finished yelling at me or whatever this is. I'm tired."

"What you did was stupid and reckless." Negan drawled, leaning back in his chair as well, "I should iron your fucking face for running off without permission. Lucky for you I've already used it once this week and I'm not in the fucking mood to smell burning flesh again."

"Who misbehaved now?" Kayla asked with a cocked eyebrow.

"Just some asshole who thought he could play with my things. Learned his fucking lesson real quick though. He looks like Dwight's fugly cousin now."

Leaving the topic alone, Kayla could see the man getting angry about the incident again. She'd begun to learn her way around Negan's shitty disposition, avoidance of touchy subjects being key.

"So what's the plan? Are we making a move to take this new group?"

"Of course." He replied, "they killed my men and have shit I want."

"Alright." She answered with a nod and asked, "am I grounded still or will I be going?"

"Oh you'll be going alright. I heard some fan-fucking-tastic tales of Kayla the Barbarian and I wanna see that shit in person. I mean we killed a shit ton of walkers together but I haven't seen the full fledge Zena warrior princess yet. I want to see you cut down a living breathing man. The boys here are all in love with you."

Rolling her eyes she muttered, "I was just protecting the place like I was told."

"Well good girl. Now it's time for a new fucking trick."

"I'm not a dog."

"That's debatably, you're a total bitch."

Huffing out a breath she stifled a yawn behind her hand.

"Go get some sleep. We head out in the morning."

Moving to replace her shoes, Kayla flinched as Negan reached out to grab her ankle, pulling the limb into his lap. She watched as he looked over the injury carefully before he remarked, "you need to get these wrapped, they'll get infected."

"Yeah." She murmured as his thumb stroked the curve of her ankle, the sensation making her skin prickle. Negan watched her intently as he began rubbing the uninjured arch of her foot while his other hand massaged her ankle and calf. Her breathing sped up at the feeling of his hands on her, the woman swallowing thickly as he smirked knowingly at her.

"You know, I could take your mind off these. Take those tight little pants off and plow you til the sun comes up."

"Thanks for ruining the moment, ass." She muttered, trying to pull her foot away only to be stopped by Negan's tight grip.

"You need to start respecting me." He growled, his grip tightening. Kayla stopped struggling and chewed her cheek.

"I do."

"No you don't. Not only did you run off on your own..."

"Creep was with me."

"You interrupt me, " he sneered with a pointed look before continuing, "you didn't answer my question earlier and you call me fucking names. I'm shutting this shit down. If you keep undermining me in front of my men I'm going to be forced to do something unpleasant."

"For me or you?"

"For both of us. I don't like hurting people. I do it for the greater good. Without fear there is no order and without order there is no civilization. Rules keep us alive and one of those fucking rules is to respect me and do as I fucking say. Don't make me make an example out of your perky little ass."

Kayla dipped her chin and cleared her throat. "Okay."

Negan grinned slowly, picking up her sock and gently sliding the material over her injured feet. Next he helped replace her boots before murmuring, "go sleep in another room. We're heading out in the morning."

Nodding, Kayla stood to leave only to be stopped again by Negan's reach. Looking down she watched as his hand slid up and down her wrist. Biting her lip, Kayla peered up at him with wide eyes. She couldn't help but feel relief at seeing him again. It had been almost a month and even though she liked to deny enjoying being with the loud foul mouth, a knot inside her chest loosened while looking at him. Negan's other hand drifted up, his thumb brushing along her sharp jaw line. Kayla could feel the heavy thud of her heart, the rapid beat thundering against her ribs.

"Last time we talked I threatened to bend you over my knee." He rasped, close to her ear as he leaned into her, his hand sliding along her hip. Kayla swallowed nervously as the heat radiating off his body had her inching closer. She wanted him, her body craving the pleasure of his touch but she didn't want the complications. Being with the man would only make life that much more difficult.

"You deserve it you know." He murmured, his fingers trailing along the edge of her shirt. "Running off. Making me use resources to find you. Making everyone else worry."

Snorting Kayla muttered, "everyone else huh?"

An appealing growl rumbled against her as he nuzzled into her neck. "Lil smartass." He muttered, his lips brushing her cheek and ear.

"Just admit you missed me." She teased, her lips twitching as he glared at her.

"I'll admit jack all to no one." He spoke gruffly, smacking her ass with a coy grin. "Now get the fuck out unless you're putting out?"


	8. Chapter 8

Kayla stood nearby, her cheek chewed raw as the plans Negan and his lieutenants had come up with were moments from being executed. The other group was surrounded, the Saviors placed strategically around their perimeter. The large property was crawling with biters, the freaks living among the dead like hoarded pets. She wasn't too sure the charge ahead and take no prisoners approach was the best one. From the events she'd witnessed, Kayla was pretty sure even with their higher numbers of living people, the other group had an endless army available. She didn't question it though, not speaking out about her fears, because Kayla knew eventually Negan would grow tired of her shit. Her big mouth was the reason she'd been assigned to the outpost in the first place.

"We leave in five." He instructed, tucking a handgun in his belt as well as extra magazines in his back pocket, his eyes scanning over the group critically. Kayla had her machete holstered across her back as she carried a rifle. The group as a whole was outfitted with a plethora of weapons and orders to destroy anyone who thought about fighting them.

"You're by my side, do not fucking stray, Princess." He growled quietly to her, his eyes trailing over her body. She wore dark colors, her arms now protected with a leather jacket gifted to her by Negan.

"You're hot as fuck in that." He murmured next to her ear.

"Knew it the moment I saw it. I got a partial chub just lookin' at it on that mannequin but on you…" he whistle lowly, a wicked smirk curling his lips, "Goddamn if I don't need some relief and soon. I may even need to give it an ol' tug before we even get home."

"Thanks." Kayla replied, her neck flushing as he smirked devilishly at her.

"Pink looks good on you too." He whispered with a wink before walking away to speak with Simon and Dwight.

'Fuck.' She thought to herself, the woman far from being able to control the urges she had developed towards the handsome bastard. Every day seemed harder, every look he gave hotter.

Creep stood nearby, the man carrying a few blades and handgun, as well as a sawed off shotgun. Kayla wandered closer and asked, "are you with us or Simon's group?"

Grunting he motioned his chin towards Dwight's side, the man looking less than pleased. Snorting she cross her arms and teased, "have fun with that."

Glancing up at him she watched him smirk slightly, his dark gaze looking anything but intimidating to her now. Chuckling she smiled at him and added, "just don't fucking die, alright?"

"Likewise." He grunted ticking his head towards the others signaling the start of what would be a battle. Kayla dipped her chin as farewell before joining Negan, his shoulders tense and eyes narrowed. She caught his gaze trail after Creep before landing on her.

"You fuckin' that guy?" He grumbled, slamming a magazine in the semi automatic rifle he carried in lieu of Lucille, the barbed lady kept safe in their vehicle for now.

"What guy?" She asked dryly, her eyebrow cocked.

Growling deeply he hissed, "I'm not fucking around."

"Me neither."

"I swear to fuck I will walk over and blow his goddamn head off if you keep pushing me."

Kayla huffed a breath out while shaking her head. "I'm not fucking him." She replied stiffly, sliding her rifle strap over in order to support its heavy weight. "Not that it's any of your business or anything."

Negan glared at her before stomping away to the front line.

* * *

It was time, the groups began to close in like packs of dogs, Negan heading in without a shred of fear. They began slaying all the dead, picking them off as quickly as they could but it seemed as if more began pouring from the structure. Kayla jogged near Negan, her rifle nailing corpse after corpse, her shorter stride barely keeping up with Negan's giant one.

They'd reached the inside perimeter, dead shambling everywhere as gunfire blasted through the hordes. Sniper shots began picking of Saviors, Negan snarling for everyone to take cover. Kayla ran along a split rail fence, her body low and her machete out. She was too close to use it on the dead and could move quicker without the weight in her arms. Swinging her blade out wide, she cut down two undead with one motion. Dodging the ricocheted bullets hitting a rusted piece of equipment her group took cover behind, Kayla glanced at Negan who seemed to be enjoying himself a little too much.

"Yeah motherfuckers." He shouted, "we gotta keep pushing their shit in. Let's head right and get to the interior fence and peg these fuckers."

Kayla followed nearby, her machete cracking nearby skulls to cover the men with rifles as they shot at the other group. Screams erupted from their right as a horde of dead was led right into a group of Saviors. Kayla ground her teeth as she watched a few familiar faces being torn apart, the gunfire still hitting nearby. Dwight was struggling with two corpses and beyond him Kayla caught sight of Creep, the man slamming a machete through head after head. Growling she kept herself from running over to help, Creep was more than capable to keep himself alive.

She listened as Negan shouted directions, the man's excitement still present but a worry seeping into his posture. They were in over their heads, the Saviors may have been plentiful, well armed and most with experience fighting other groups but the people they were up against had too many helping hands. Dead hands with hungry mouths.

A walker shuffled near, Kayla pulling her blade back to land a head shot only to be blocked by the creatures raised arm. Its other hand lunged forward, a surprising blade in its palm. Kayla blocked it, her wide eyes taking in the sight of a living human wearing the face of a dead man.

"Holy fuck." Negan shouted, before a gunshot took the creatures head off. Kayla was sprayed with fresh blood, the bright crimson drastically different than the walker gore she was covered in.

"You good?" Negan rasped next to her while her gaze was transfixed on the dead man. The face fell away and revealed a normal man, bloodied but not a rotting body. "Kay!" Negan shouted, snapping his fingers in her face. "You with me?"

"Y-yeah." She stammered, following him to the other men taking cover behind a pile of large milled pine.

The orders to retreat came soon after, Kayla moving with the others as they fled for the tree line. Negan was jogging next to her, his face sprayed with blood as he seemed to simmer with rage. The man never gave up, not once had she seen him admit defeat but there they were, running with their tails tucked firmly between their asscheeks. They would need to recoup and reorganize before any other moves were made. Negan had met his match and from what Kayla could see, he wasn't too pleased with it.

* * *

Kayla could hear Negan yelling at his lieutenants about the failed attack. She'd been ordered to stand outside, the woman more than happy to avoid hearing Negan's bellowing voice so close to her ear drums. She watched Negan's wives sitting around on gaudy settees wearing miniskirts and push up bras. Kayla's nose wrinkled as she listened to them giggle and chat as if the world hadn't ended outside their gilded cages. They made Kayla sick to her stomach, the weakness, the selfishness.

"What the fuck are you looking at?" Amber sneered, her painted lips curled aggressively. Kayla's eyes narrowed as she focused on the blonde sitting next to Sherry, her eyes bloodshot and puffy. While Kayla had been at the outpost and running with Creep, Amber had been sleeping with her ex boyfriend Mark. He was the poor soul who had taken an iron for playing with Negan's toy.

"Nothing." She replied dryly, her head turning as the other exited, followed by Negan.

"Apparently my work is never fucking done ladies. I'll visit with you all later." He drawled with a slow grin, before resting Lucille on his shoulder. Glancing at Kayla he instructed, "You stay. You've been outside for awhile. Take a damn shower, eat something."

Dipping her chin she muttered, "stay safe."

Negan grinned widely, his gloved hand raising up to stroke his thumb along her jaw. He leaned in and kissed her temple whispering, "maybe I'll visit you when I get back instead of these vacant bitches."

* * *

Kayla was just finishing up her shower when something struck the back of her head. She fell forward her feet and hands slipping on tile trying to catch herself. Landing hard on her hip, she grunted in pain, her temple crashing into the chipped floor with a loud crack. Her vision went spotty but her last image was of Amber towering above her with a lead pipe.

She was floating in a darkness that seemed all encompassing. There was pain emanating from different parts of her body but the darkness didn't recede. Not until an excruciating pain broke through it with blaring clarity.

Her eyes snapped open and she was met with Amber's sneering face and the inability to move. Above her was Dwight, his scarred face snarled and mean. "Hold fuckin' still." He ordered through clenched teeth.

His hands gripped her hair in a tight fists while Amber used a blade on Kayla's face.

"We'll see won't we… see if he likes scarred bitches." Amber growled, her wrist turning to dig the blade deeper. "See if he likes it when someone he cares about is hurt."

A keening howl burst from Kayla's chest, her body arching off the ground in an attempt to escape the bloody switch blade that Amber was dragging down the side of her face with tight precision. Her wet feet slid against the floor, her naked body trembling from the cold and shock. She struggled against the weight pressing into her wrists, Amber's knees pinning her to the tiled floor as she straddled her ribs. The immense pain emanating from her face had Kayla blacking out, her screams cut off like a light switch.

When she woke again her face was burning and limbs heavy. Kayla heard shouting and the sounds of a scuffle, her body ignoring her orders to get up. Her hands slipped along the wet floor finding a mixture of water and blood pooling below her. A groan escaped as Kayla moved her limbs and head, her skull feeling like a cracked egg.

"Hey hold still." A voice spoke above her, making her cringe. She couldn't make out a face but knew she'd been hurt and wasn't sure if the disembodied voice was the source or not. "Ya safe. I gotcha."

A firm pressure was applied to her face making her howl in pain, fire scorched across the surface of her skin. Clawing at anyone close to her, Kayla tried to escape their hands.

Moaning in agony as more hands shifted her twisted body. Words were spoken to Kayla however nothing but extreme pain got through to her. It became too overwhelming, her lungs sucking in air desperately as her heart raced in a state of panic. She was being carried, her head bouncing against a shoulder as shouts yelled out orders. Soon the pain, blood loss and combined panic attack had Kayla blacking out yet again.

* * *

"How bad?"

Kayla could hear Negan speaking to the doctor on the other side of the curtain. She'd been awake for a few hours, the pain waking her with a vengeance. The doctor was giving her pain pills but not much was dulling the sharp edges cutting through her nerves.

Negan had apparently returned home and just found out about Kayla's attack. Amber had not only cracked her head open but cut her face up with a switch blade. Kayla sustained a remarkably large cut from her temple to the apple of her cheek to the edge of her chin. It was gruesome from what Kayla could tell, the skin sewed back together like a patch quilt.

"She sustained a concussion, scalp lacerations, deep tissue bruising to her hip and ribs as well as fifty-six stitches to her face."

"Holy fuck. What's fucking left of her face? Jesus I'm going to bash their fucking heads in." Negan's voice became increasingly louder as he went on, the sound of a piece of furniture being thrown against a wall crashed to the floor.

Kayla lay still hoping he wouldn't want to see what was actually left of her disfigured face. She was pretty sure she looked like Frankenstein and couldn't imagine the stares and jokes he'd tell. The man was ruthless when it came to that type of taunting, he loved to bust everybody's balls.

As the curtain opened she let her eyes fall closed and kept her breathing even.

"I can tell your a awake."

Her eyes flickered open, the bloodshot gaze landing on the tense looking man. The wound was covered in gauze but she still felt exposed and vulnerable.

"What do you want?" Kayla growled, her face blazing with pain as her mouth moved.

"A goddamn pony. What the fuck do you think I want?" He snarked sitting down heavily into the chair by the bed. Kayla could see he was splattered with blood, his knuckles creased with it and shirt stained.

"No fuckin clue." She mumbled eventually, keeping her mouth almost closed to prevent the pulling of stitches.

"I'm being fucking nice and checking in on you. Which I guess is pointless since you're being a goddamn bitch about it."

"Oh I'm sorry I'm not up for fuckin' entertaining right now Negan. I'm too busy keeping my fucking face together because one of your nutjob wives sliced and fucking diced me." She raged with no regard to her injured her face, throbbing in pain as blood soaked through the white bandages.

The doctor burst in and scowled, "Stop talking so much. You're pulling your stitches, it's only going to scar worse." His hands began peeling back the now bloody gauze to check them, his mouth frowning the whole time.

"If you continue to pull at the stitches the wound will heal wrong. It could eventually impede your ability to open your mouth."

Kayla flit her eyes to Negan's who was staring at the now exposed damage. Thick black stitches lined her temple, cheek and jaw. The jagged black slicing through her tan skin causing a permanent eye sore. When Negan met her gaze again she saw nothing but pure unadulterated fury, his fists clenched and mouth set into a grim scowl.

"I'm going to kill those fuckers." He sneered, his tall frame shooting up from his chair. "Don't worry about them Kay. I'll take fucking care of it."

"Whatever," she mumbled as the doctor got the gauze back in place. She didn't give a shit what he did to Amber and Dwight because the next time she saw either of them, she was shoving a blade in their guts and let them turn.

"You don't want me to punish them?"

"Have at it but I swear to fuck if you don't kill them I fucking will." She growled her eyes telling the man the truth in her words. Negan stared at her a long moment and nodded, "fair enough."

* * *

Her face felt like hellfire had touched it. The constant throb and burning was driving her mad and making her lose sleep. It didn't help that the concussion she sustained was giving her migraines and turning her stomach. Her eyes were circled with deep bruises and skin pale from exhaustion.

Amber was being held in the cells as was her accomplice, Dwight, both waiting for whatever punishment their leader saw fit.

Negan had barely looked Kayla's way since she got out of the medical bay. It should've made her happy, the leader's attentions everywhere but her, however it more than pissed her off. It was his goddamn fault Amber went nuts. If he hadn't kept pursuing her, Amber wouldn't have gotten so jealous. If he hadn't burned Amber's boyfriend or Dwight, they never would've thought to carve her like a Christmas ham. It was an eye for and eye, a face for a face.

Walking into the common room she felt eyes trail her as she passed, the gauze being removed to let the wound breath, or so the doctor said, was now exposed to the wandering eyes. Countless stitches lined her face in gruesome rows, the skin tight and inflamed.

She felt self conscious but opted to wear a false bravado. At the very least the scar would make people wary of her which could only be a good thing in a place like Sanctuary.

'Maybe everyone will fuck off now,' she thought while convincing herself it was better that way. As she reached the supply room she took a calming breath before walking inside. Negan usually worked with Lawrence on supply days. He inspected the ration stores as well as double checked the inventory lists as people bought their goods. She would avoid interacting with him altogether but she needed a few things.

Keeping her eyes up while pretending to be without shame of her appearance, Kayla walked up to the long table they positioned in front of the large caged area most supplies were stored. Lawrence stood there with a clipboard as Negan stood in the cage calling off numbers. Their eyes jumped to her as her boots thumped loudly on the tiled floors. Lawrence's eyes bulged and he gasped as he got the first glimpse of her brutal injury.

Curling her lip into an aggressive sneer she held her tongue from lashing out. Negan sauntered forward, his mouth in a grim line as he too got a better look at Amber and Dwight's handy work. The skin was red and irate, the raw seam traveling from the end of her eyebrow around the apple of her cheek and down to the side of jaw to the point of her chin. The edges were fusing together and the doctor was fairly certain there wasn't any nerve damage but the scar would never disappear. It was grisly and barbaric looking. All Kayla could hope for would be for people to eventually ignore her.

"Hey Kayla, h-how's it going?" Lawrence asked his stare flitting from her eyes to the injury a dozen times.

"Peachy." She deadpanned, before rattling off her list, "toothpaste, bar soap and tampons."

"Not one for idle chit chat huh?" Negan taunted, while motioning for Lawrence to grab her items. Kayla glared at him and replied cooly, "I got better shit to do."

"Oh yeah? You on your way to a fucking pity party?"

"Fuck you." She snapped, her eyes blazing at him and her mouth sneered. The movement causing a sharp pain to shoot from her eye socket, across her face and down her neck. Flinching at it Kayla looked away, her cheek twitching at the injured nerves, her hand cupped it to quell the ache. She didn't care what the doctor said, there was nerve damage.

"You alright?" Negan inquired softly, his eyes jumping from her to The other man who was still puttering around looking for her shit.

"M'fine," Kayla ground out, keeping her mouth from moving too much. The stitches stung and the seam throbbed.

"Do you need pain meds?"

"No thanks." She replied, her senses were too dulled on them and now that she wasn't protected in the medical bay Kayla avoided them. Terrible things could happen when caught unaware, she was all too familiar with those possibilities.

"You're in pain."

"And?"

Negan growled, slamming his fist down on the table with a loud crash.

Lawrence stammered, "s-should I step out?"

They stared at each while Negan barked, "Get fucked, Larry."

After the door slammed shut Negan strolled around the table and towered over her. Kayla clenched her jaw as his hand raised towards her chin. Flinching away only to freeze when he scolded her with a click of his tongue, his fingers holding her chin firmly. Grunting in pain she looked away from him, her eyes glued to the floor. Kayla couldn't stand to see people's pity, it was worse than the physical pain at times.

"Kay." Negan rasped, his voice softer than ever before. "Look at me."

Swallowing down the knot forming in her throat, Kayla peered up at him. Her cheek was ticking with tension as he studied her too closely. The skin pulling at the thread holding it together.

"Fuck," he cursed under his breath, shaking his head in disbelief, "fucking dickbags."

Kayla turned her head away from him, her neck flushing from the attention.

"I don't apologize for shit Kay. Like ever. You know that but holy hell, I'm sorry she did this too you." He spoke earnestly, his eyes imploring. Kayla bit her lip and looked down, the intensity in his eyes making her squirm.

"Are you killing them?"

"Yes. This evening. Do you want to watch?"

Kayla squinted her eyes in thought and shook her head once. The idea of even seeing either of them made her nauseous. She kept picturing them both holding her down while carving her flesh.

"Hey." He rasped, his hand touching her elbow. "Seriously are you in pain. I can get you something. No points needed if that's the issue."

"M'fine." She murmured, her fists flexing anxiously. "Can I get my shit and go yet?"

Negan handed her a bag and instructed, "go to doc for some fucking pain meds. I can tell you're hurting."

"Whatever." She mumbled before stomping out of the room and away from the man looking at her with confusing eyes. Kayla couldn't make out what he was thinking and truthfully she didn't even want to know. The injured woman wanted to lock herself in her room and never come out.

* * *

Wandering up the stairwell, Kayla kept her eyes away from everyone she passed. It wasn't until someone spoke her name that she turned her face upwards.

"Kayla." Creep's deep voice catching her attention. Glancing in his direction she watched him look over her face, his eyes getting harder and darker.

"Looks pretty badass right?" She spoke dryly, the woman desperate for everyone to stop looking at her, "it's what I was going for anyways."

His mouth frowned and he stepped in closer, his jaw working as anger took over. "Are they dying?"

"Tonight."

"Good." Creep growled, his fists tightening as he glanced around looking for witnesses. "You're okay?"

"Great. Don't I look it?"

"No. No you don't." He replied, his lip twitching. Kayla snorted, her cheek throbbing from her smirk. Turning away she cupped her cheek before muttering through clenched teeth. "Gotta go."

"You have pain meds?"

"I don't like taking them." She murmured through partially closed lips. "Don't like being out of control."

Creep nodded, offering with a unsure eyes, "I'll stand watch."

Kayla began to say no, to tell him she didn't need anyone watching out for her but Kayla knew that wasn't true. No matter how much she wanted to believe the attack hadn't effected her confidence to take care of herself, Kayla couldn't claim to be without weakness. She swallowed thickly and asked quietly, "don't you have something better to do?"

"No." he replied, his lip curling up as he tipped his head to the stairwell. "Go before I change my mind."

"That's the longest sentence you've ever said to me." She commented while climbing the stairs. A quiet yet gruff laugh had her smiling despite the pain it caused.

"And a laugh." She added while opening her room's door. Rolling his eyes he looked up and down the corridor. "Sleep. I'll be here."

"Thank you Creep." She murmured, the woman biting her lip nervously.

Creep nodded, his head turning to look down the long hallway again. "Michael."

Kayla didn't understand at first, her head cocking to the side before she smiled softly, nodding her head. "Thank you Michael."

Grunting the large man ticked his chin to the room and ordered, "sleep."

* * *

Despite Negan offering her a spot to watch, Kayla was eventually told to show up. She didn't want to witness the two being beaten to death by Lucille, her stomach just wasn't up for it but Negan would get what Negan wanted.

She arrived at the common room, the place packed with residents watching the punishments to be handed out. Spotting Daryl she headed his way on a mission. When she woke in the medical bay, Kayla found out that Daryl was the one who found her. He had walked in on it while looking for Dwight, the man stopping it before Amber got any farther. She hadn't seen Daryl around and as she approached she noticed he was no longer in the probationary sweatsuit most newbies wore. Instead he was dressed in clean jeans and black tshirt, his back covered with the vest Dwight had stolen from him. Without all the dirt and grim, he looked human again.

"Hey." She muttered, her eyes skipping over crowd as they all seemed to look her way. Whispers broke out as she turned to look at Daryl again.

Daryl grunted, his narrowed eyes taking in her new appearance also, his gaze tracing the new lines to her face. Turning away slightly she spoke quietly, "thank you for what you did."

"S'nothing." He drawled, shifting as she looked at him. "Anybody woulda."

"No." Kayla replied, "not everybody. So thank you."

They stood quietly until Kayla broke down and asked, "you're off probation?"

Grunting he glanced and her a rolled his shoulder. "Guess you're more important than ya thought."

They stared at each other a moment until Negan sauntered in, Lucille on his shoulder. Everyone kneeled, Kayla sinking to one knee as Negan paused next to her.

"Come with me." He drawled, his gloved hand cupping her elbow and steering her to the center of the room. Grinding her teeth Kayla felt everyone's eyes trail them, whispers uttered under their breath.

"I thought it'd be a long while before someone broke the rules." He announced, his voice echoing under the tall ceilings. In the center Amber and Dwight were tied up and kneeling, his face bloodied and bruised. Amber's face was swollen from crying, her wrists raw from fighting the restraints.

"I don't tolerate pointless and cruel violence." Negan spoke while standing behind the two bound figures, Kayla off to his right. "It may seem as if I do, I'm a violent man when I've got to be but don't fucking misinterpret my iron fist discipline as cruelty."

He placed his hands on Dwight and Amber's shoulders, his fingers curling into their muscles, "these two fuckers decided to brutally fucking attack someone for petty and childish reasons."

Amber sobbed, her voice cracking only to be interrupted by Negan. "P-."

"No fucking talking." He growled, his hand squeezing her shoulder tighter. Turning towards Kayla he drawled, "would you like to say anything?"

Biting her cheek, the seam running along her face stinging and throbbing as everyone's eyes landed on her. Shaking her head once, she looked at the floor away from Negan's heavy gaze.

"Normally I would use the iron." Negan's voice bellowed, "I'd hand out a fucking warning, remind others what happens when you do wrong and you break the order. To remind the stupid fucks breaking my goddamn rules what kind of shit they stepped in but I've got to say, I don't think either of you dumb fuckers would learn shit from it."

"Please. Negan." Amber bawled, "please I didn't mean-."

"You didn't mean to carve her up?" He sneered, gripping her face with a tight hand, "maybe I should fucking iron you huh? Iron you fucking flat and then introduce you to Lucille."

"Please." She sobbed, her tied hands clutching at his jacket. Smacking her hands away Negan stood up to his full height, speaking loudly, "I won't do that though, you want to know why?" Wandering in a large circle, his long easy stride graceful, "I won't torture these two pieces of shit despite my goddamn hare on to make them suffer because I'm not a sick fuck like these disrespectful assholes."

Kayla watched him twirl Lucille with his wrist, his arm swinging back to practice his brutal hit. She could hear the whistle of the barbs rushing past and the grunt as he swung downward.

"I want you all to look on and witness this execution with wide goddamn eyes and memorize this shit because this, this is justice, not revenge. This is what happens to those who try to destroy the New World Order."

"Any last words D?" Negan sneered, his eyes narrowed and harsh, his chest heaving as he worked himself up. Sherry was huddled into another wife's chest, her shoulders shaking as Negan put her ex husband to death. Kayla clenched her teeth as she made eye contact with her, the woman's glare heated.

"I love you Sherry." Dwight muttered through his split lip. "Never stopped."

Negan smiled maliciously at the man and sneered, "isn't that sweet."

"Amber, last words?"

The blonde sobbed her face red and makeup smeared. "Please. Please I'll do anything."

"If that were true you wouldn't be here, Am." Negan responded before pulling the bat high over his head and slamming it square into her forehead. The crack of wood on bone had Kayla grimacing, her eyes turning away as Negan hit Amber two more times on the ground. Dwight was being held down as he tried to escape his fate, his face splattered with Amber's blood.

"Now. Now. Don't be such a pussy D." Negan jeered, "I mean you were big enough of a man to attack a woman in the shower, grow a pair of hairy balls and take it like a fucking man."

The weapon was brought down hard and heavy, the sickening sound of cracking bones and splashing blood had most looking away. Negan was panting heavily, his face splattered with blood as sweat dripped down his temples. It was obvious he took a little more aggression out of Dwight. He didn't kill women often and despite Amber's grievous crime, he had applied a gentler hand if there was such a thing while murdering someone with a blunt object.

Kayla's eyes connected with his and she watched him breath heavily a moment before he collected himself. At his side Lucille was dripping blood as long blonde strands of hair hung from her barbs like party streamers. The stain below the bodies grew until it was touching the toes of the crowd gathered around. The front rows of on lookers had splattered drops of blood on their faces and clothing. No one made a move to clean it off, the fear of disobeying obvious throughout the crowd.

"This isn't something I find entertaining. I don't like dealing out these punishments and truthfully I'd prefer not too but it's necessary. You break the rules, you break the order." He hollered, pointing Lucille at the dead bodies on the ground. "Burn the bodies and get back to work."

Sauntering over to Sherry and the other wives he ordered, "back upstairs."

Sherry turned and ran to the stairwell, the other few wives following her closely. Kayla stayed in place watching the bodies be carried out and the blood to be mopped up. Negan walked over and dipped his head to see her eyes. "Are you good?" He murmured softly, causing Kayla to peer up at him. Giving him a nod she asked, "can I go now?"

His eyes narrowed as he looked her over, the man obviously looking for any cracks in her mental state. Sighing she looked away and muttered, "my head hurts and I'd like to lay down."

"Go on." He instructed, his chin tipping towards the dormitory stairwell. "We have a run in a couple days. I want you good to go."

* * *

Kayla stood in front of the group the Saviors found camping along a river. Negan sat on the hood of a rusted pickup they used as lean to shelter. The men were all rough looking, the type of men who took what they wanted. Men like Negan except without a code. They had no order. Only anarchy.

Sliding her eyes over the men she noticed one staring at her, a lascivious grin curling is chapped lips. Wrinkling her nose in disgust she looked away, her eyes falling to Negan's interaction with their group's leader.

"Hey, hey bro." The leering man hollered, his words aimed at Negan.

The tall man sauntered over a smile gracing his face but his eyes dark as pitch. "The adults are speaking you fucking moron." Negan sneered, "what the fuck is so important you'd inter-fucking-rupt me?"

"I'm just curious, this place ya got going. There women there? I mean something better than this cut up bitch?" He taunted his eyes gleaming and yellow teeth bared, "I mean I'm sure her cunt works fine but shit who could stand t'look at her will poundin' that pussy."

Kayla's teeth were set so tight that the enamel creaked from the pressure. She was still getting used to the stares but the taunts would probably always sting. Kayla wasn't weak, she didn't bend easily to adversity but she was a woman after all. Even though physical appearance didn't mean much to her, the scars spread across her face still made her feel self conscious.

Negan walked closer to the man and towered over him, his fist clenching Lucille at his side.

"Kay." Negan spoke calmly, his eyes glued to the man at his knees. "Can you hold Lucille for me?"

Stepping forward she hesitantly took Lucille from his gloved hand for the first time, the wood warm from his touch and smooth from constant use.

"Thanks doll. I think this one deserves a personal fucking touch." He explained, while gripping the kneeling man's jacket as he yanked him roughly off the ground. Dragging him to the waters edge Negan shoved him towards it, the bound man falling on his ass into the stream. Grabbing him by the throat Negan sneered into his face while shoving him underwater. THe man's feet kicked out and body flailed out while Negan worked without a hint of struggle. He grinned while the man gurgled and screamed under the murky surface. The other men were watching with wide eyes as Negan chuckled while murdering a man, his hands eventually releasing the dead man's limp body.

"Well," he laughed again, "that fucker lasted longer than I thought. You see that Kay?"

"Yeah." She responded dryly, her hand holding Lucille out to him. Negan shook his head, "nah.. She looks good on you."

Swallowing thickly, she rested Lucille on her shoulder as she watched Negan dry his hands on his red scarf. "That was fun. So what can I say, I'm fucking irritated by idiocy. I also don't tolerate rapists or pricks that sound like they'd be cool with rape. Normally I would bash a fuckers head in. Let Lucille suck up all that delicious fucking blood but that fucker..." Negan shook his head looking at the dead guy floating in the shallow water, "he insulted Kay. No one insults Kay."

His eyes scanned the men for argument before they landed on her, "you good with that?"

Nodding she replied, "sounds good to me."

"Excellent!" He proclaimed, his hand smacking Javier on the back. "Load these other fuckers up. They'll make good manual labor for Sanctuary."

The camp was full of movement, people loading gear and shoving the bound men into a van. Kayla waited for Negan to approach, his eyes watching her over the shoulder of Javier. She could see him soaking up the image of her holding Lucille, the wetting of his lip and darkening of his eyes. He looked ravenous.

"Yeah." Negan rasped when he eventually made his way over, his eyes leaving a path of heat up her body. "Fuck yeah, you look good with my girl."

Kayla cocked an eyebrow at his statement, not knowing if he was talking to Lucille or her.

Taking the brutal weapon from her, he asked, "you wanna use her? She's thirsty."

"No thanks." She replied her eyes jumping to the dead body floating in the water, it's limbs now twitching and coming back to life.

"You sure? That fat fuck was an asshole. You could take out some pent up aggression."

Shaking her head she looked up at Negan and offered, "kinda think he deserves to be an undead fuck."

Laughing heartily Negan threw an arm over her shoulder, pulling her into his side as he walked them towards the trucks. His voice was low enough for only her ears, "don't let human fucking garbage piss you off."

"You should talk." Kayla deadpanned with a smirk and a cocked eyebrow.

Snorting Negan shrugged, "you're better than me. Plus I've got a reputation to keep up."

Rolling her eyes Kayla muttered, "nothing he said was untrue. It's not something anyone wants to look at, fuck I don't even look at it."

Negan stopped them in their tracks, his eyes glaring down at her, "nothing he said was true."

"Negan. Don't pretend to not be disgusted. It's insulting." She sighed, her arms crossed as she looked away, hiding the scars from his view.

Grabbing her chin between his gloved fingers he growled, "I'm not disgusted."

"I've seen you staring at it with a look of revulsion." She replied, huffing out a breath before peering up at him. His eyes naturally trailed over it as he stated, "I'm revolted by what happened, not you. I'm fucking angry it happened and that someone I protected ended up hurting you. I'm disgusted with myself for not seeing it in her. When I see it, I see my fucking failure."

Rolling her shoulder lazily she muttered, "it wasn't your fault and you punished them so it's over."

"It's not over." Negan growled, his eyes burning into hers, "it's not fucking over because you're left with the evidence all over your face."

"I've had worse things all over my face before." She quipped breaking the tension in the air and changing the subject to one Negan loved. Innuendos and dirty jokes.

Negan scoffed with a cheeky grin, his dimples showing despite the scruff on his face, "what other fucking things are we talking about?"

Snorting she wandered away, her final words hollered over her shoulder, "Wouldn't you like to know."

"Fuck knowing, I want to do it!" He shouted back, his grin wide and eyes mischievous.


	9. Chapter 9

Kayla was feeling better and needed to stretch her legs. After a few arguments, Negan gave her the go ahead to join a run to Kingdom. She could tell he was more than reluctant to let her out of his eyesight but he was short on soldiers as it was. The attack on the other group had thinned their numbers. He couldn't risk losing any others and Kayla was experienced beyond the walls.

Stopping by his office like she was told, Kayla knocked and listened for a response. When no one answered, she knocked again and heard the gruff voice call her inside. Opening the door she found Sherry straightening her clothing, her hair ruffled and lipstick smeared. Negan had a satisfied grin and flushed face. Clenching her teeth Kayla asked, "You wanted to see me before we left?"

"Oh yeah doll." He spoke with a chuckle, raking a hand through his hair with a charming grin. Reaching out he pulled Sherry close and kissed her deeply, rasping something quiet enough for only her to hear. Kayla lowered her eyes as irrational anger swept through her.

'He's not yours. You don't want him.' She sneered inwardly before the antagonist inside her retorted, 'Right, that's why you want to yank Sherry's stupid head off.'

The wife brushed passed her and Kayla ground her teeth as Negan sat down heavily with a groan.

"Man I fuckin' needed that." He bragged, a wicked grin sliding on his face. "Don't you ever just need to get off?"

Kayla narrowed her eyes, avoiding his question she ground out, "Was there a reason you needed to see me?"

Negan laughed, scrubbing his jaw roughly and he drawled, "There was but Sherry just sucked it out of me. Fuck she really knows how to gob some knob, I can't even remember what I'm supposed to be doing today."

Taking in a slow breath, Kayla started to count as anger and frustration began to take over. Negan could see her fuse shortening and smirked maliciously. "You countin' doll?"

"If we're done I'd like to get on the road so we don't have to travel at night." She replied stiffly, her voice sharp and eyes cold.

Standing up, Negan pressed his fists into the top of his desk and growled, "You'll fucking stand there for as long as I fucking want."

Negan was obviously fighting the urge to lash out at her, his jaw working angrily as he clenched his teeth. She waited to see if he'd break, the woman just as entertained by his ire as he was of hers. Kayla's lips twisted into a smirk, the scars on her face pulled at the action. Though the stitches were long gone and skin sealed tightly shut, they were still healing. Nerve damaged had caused numb spots along her cheek and at times her eyelid would twitch from the injury.

"You're in charge of getting that shipment back here safe." He finally spoke, sauntering around his desk to stand in front of her. "With Dwight pushing up daisies and Simon dealing with those skin jobs I need another lieutenant here in Sanctuary."

Kayla cocked an eyebrow and asked, "And if I don't want too?"

"You will because you're a stubborn asshole who hates following idiots around. You'd rather be making the decisions than following them." He replied with a raised eyebrow as if encouraging her to argue.

Kayla snorted, looking away as he teased, "Try to deny it."

"Fine." she muttered, "I'll bring you, your shit."

"Good girl." He murmured, his finger brushing hair off her forehead. Kayla flinched back and growled, "No. I don't know where those things have been."

Laughing gruffly Negan licked his lips and spoke lasciviously, "I could show you where they were."

"Not. Happening." She ground out, her eyes steely. "I think you have more than enough choices."

"What's wrong with having one more?" he teased, a slow smile curling his lips. "I assure you, you'll enjoy it."

"I don't want to be one more." She replied with a shrug, her nonchalance a pure façade, "I should be more than enough."

Negan stared at her a long moment before chuckling, shaking his head slight as he drawled, "Well Doll, aren't you a romantic."

"I'm not a romantic, I just have some self respect." She sneered angrily before asking through clenched teeth, "Can I go now?"

"Fine." he replied, pointing at the door. "Get the fuck out and bring me my shit. And don't fuck this up or you're on you way back to that shithole outpost."

Kayla climbed in the lead truck with Javier, her eye catching Creep's in the review mirror as he hopped into the back. He signaled he was ready to go before Kayla tipped her chin to the gate. "Let's get this shit done."

* * *

The trip to Kingdom went fast, the group entering town as the residents looked on warily. King Ezekiel strolled down a long path, his tiger by his side on a thick chain leash. Next to him was Morgan from Alexandria, which had Kayla narrowing her eyes in suspicion. It meant Alexandria could be working with Kingdom, something that would probably irritate the man in charge. Negan would be less than pleased.

"You know him?" Creep asked from her right, his shotgun resting in his hands as they watched the men approach. Kayla nodded once and rasped, "Keep an eye on him."

"M'lady." King Ezekiel greeted, a lilt in his deep baritone as his hand out stretched. Kayla ignored his hand and kept her face expressionless despite her inward scoff at the renaissance fair impersonation.

"This won't take long." She replied, her eyes skipping over to Morgan who stood nearby with his long stick. "Morgan." She greeted as she watched him look over her new personae, the new gruesome lines spread across her face. Sneering Kayla turned slightly as if showing it off, as if she could ever be proud of them. Creep stood next to her and seemed to grow irritated by Morgan's intent gaze, the large man angling forward, silently daring Morgan to continue.

King Ezekiel looked back and forth between the two and commented, "You two are acquainted it seems."

Morgan nodded, his eyes pulling away from her scars, the man explaining, "Kayla is an old friend of a friend of mine."

Snorting she retorted, "Right. Friends." Kayla turned her attention back to the King and stated, "We are here for half your food and meds."

"This is unorthodox M'lady." He began only to have Kayla interrupt, "It's Kayla and nothing is unorthodox when it comes to Negan because he makes the fucking rules. He wants half the gas and half the meds."

The King's jaw tightened as he looked around at his subjects, their eyes wide and nervous. Most of the interactions were kept away from the little haven. It was rare for the Saviors to actually visit Kingdom.

"Kayla." Morgan interceded, "Is there anyway you can compromise. They have a sickness here. They need the medicine."

Kayla's eyes narrowed and she replied, "I'd like to see these sick people."

Both men looked at each other before the King spoke. "They're quarantined. It's very contagious."

"I'll take my fucking chances. Show me or I'll take it all and let Negan decide what to do about your lying asses." She growled, her eyes narrowing as she scanned the group huddling together.

"No need to make this into anything aggressive child." Ezekiel drawled, motioning for her to follow him.

Glancing at the other Saviors waiting to load the supplies she ordered, "Stay here, keep watch. Don't do anything fucking stupid."

Javier cocked an eyebrow and drawled, "Yes Madam Kayla."

"Fuck off." She muttered, brushing passed his shoulder with a glare.

Kayla walked with Ezekiel on the side without the tiger. Her eyes scanning for threats as they passed different men wearing make shift armor and women dressed for farming. Creep followed close by, his tall shadow falling over her shoulder.

They approached a separate trailer, a sign plastered on the door that stated, "Medical Personnel only. Quarantine."

Kayla read it before reaching for the doorknob. Creep grabbed her wrist and growled, "No."

"It could be a fucking storage closet for all we know." She growled back. "I've got to be sure. I won't breath or touch anything."

"Miss." Ezekiel spoke, "I assure you this is not a ruse. There are thirteen souls inside that room. All are afflicted with flu like symptoms. Our only doctor has succumbed to the disease. I must implore you to reconsider entering."

Kayla glared at him and shook off Creep's grip, which was still clenched around her wrist. Pulling out a bandana she wrapped it around her face as a makeshift mask and put on her leather gloves. Glancing at Creep she ordered, "Step back and keep watch."

A rumbling growl vibrated through his chest but he dipped his chin in acceptance. "Don't die."

"Don't plan on it." She muttered before turning the doorknob and enter the building. She walked through a plastic cubicle, the entrance covered with the clear sheets to keep the tainted airflow from exiting. Inside it smelled thickly of sickness, vile bodily functions had her swallowing down her own sick with a churning stomach. Looking over the dimly lit room she found rows of cots with ghastly pale people all sweaty and trembling. A few thick coughs had Kayla put her arm up to block even more of the air from coming through her makeshift mask. A man who looked just as ill as his patient gave her a wide eyed stare.

"You shouldn't be in here." He rasped, "You need to get out and decontaminate."

"How many sick and any dead?" she spoke loudly through her arm. "What drugs are you using?"

"Who are you?"

"Negan." She replied shortly, watching as the man nodded. "Thirteen sick, fourteen with me. Two dead. I'm combating it as best as I can. Fluids, antibiotics for those suffering from secondary lung infections. Otherwise not much is helping."

"Are you using pain meds? Bandages, antiseptic?"

"No. Why-." He began before she interrupted, "What kinds of antibiotics do you need on hand?"

"Why?" he replied suspiciously.

"I'm here for a pickup. I'll work with you and leave you what you need but I'm taking half of your shit." She explained with narrowed eyes as a man began hacking roughly.

A loud knock came from the door, Creep obviously becoming concerned. Kayla hollered, "One minute."

The doctor huffed out a breath, moving to the man coughing, blood spraying the quilt. Wrinkling her nose, Kayla shifted further away trying to keep from touching any surface in the room.

He listed off what he needed to keep and Kayla tried to memorize the names. Nodding she wished him luck before exiting the room hastily. Once outside she motioned for the others to step back and stripped off her bandana, jacket and finally her gloves.

"Water and soap." She ordered no one in particular, her tone far from polite. King Ezekiel motioned one of his subjects to retrieve the items as Kayla made eye contact with Creep.

"We leave what they need. I'll write the off limit drugs down for Javier and Fat Stevie while they collect." She spoke as she began washing her hands and forearms. For added peace of mind she washed her neck and face, drying it on the front of her shirt. When she looked up she caught Creep looking at her exposed abdomen. Cocking an eyebrow she watched him look away hastily and grunt, "Gonna write that shit down?"

Nodding she smirked as she scribbled down the names she remembered as being off limits. Handing it over she watched as he delivered the paper to the men in charge of retrieving everything else.

"So you've found somewhere to fit in I see." Morgan commented as Creep walked away. Kayla grinned, the woman forcing herself to be the confident person Morgan was used too. It had been a long time since she had to portray such a cocky attitude but it was just another side she developed dealing with Rick and his friends.

"I suppose so." She replied, rolling her shoulder nonchalantly. "I guess I found some like minded individuals that treat me like a human and not a rabid animal."

Morgan's face was grim as he opened his mouth to speak. Kayla held a hand up and demanded, "No more talking. Take me to your pantry."

* * *

"Goddamn it." Javier complained, "I knew we shouldn't have taken this piece of shit. Fucking Ricky and his bullshit repair jobs."

Kayla sighed, scrubbing her eyes as she watched a couple of the men huddle around the trucks engine block. The truck carried the majority of the supplies which would never fit in the second truck with all of the group.

"Ok fuck." She growled, turning her attention to the men. "A few of us will stay here with the truck. We can store it in the garage over there. The rest go back to Sanctuary and get the dumb fucker to come here with the right parts and fix this shit or bring us a new rig."

"Who's staying?" Javier asked while wiping his hands on a rag. Kayla pursed her lips and replied, "Me, Creep and Donny. The rest go back. Get Ricky back here or another truck as soon as you can."

Javier nodded, hollering for the other men to load up as much as they could into the smaller truck while a few pushed the other vehicle into a gas station's repair shop garage.

* * *

The sun was setting as the others pulled out and Kayla, Creep and Donny settled in for the night. Donny volunteered for first watch while the others headed inside to eat and sleep. Making a few pallets behind the counter both shared an apple taken from Kingdom. The woman couldn't help but notice how easily he sliced hunks of the fruit off, popping them into his mouth or the way his jaw flexed as he chewed. Kayla wasn't sure how she had ignored his roguish good looks but it was becoming harder to ignore. The most thigh clenching move was how he licked the sticky juice from his fingers, the sight alone making her squirm. Passing her another slice, their fingers touching slightly. Her cheeks flushed as his deep eyes connected with hers, something heated in the way he gazed back. Swallowing thickly, she pulled her hand away and murmured, "Thanks."

Later that evening, Kayla used the restroom and when she opened the door to exit, she found Creep standing outside it.

"Jesus." She gasped, her hand resting on her chest. "You scared the fuck out of me. What's wrong?"

The man stared at her a moment before stepping forward, a large hand cupping the back of her skull as his tongue plunged into her mouth. Kayla was frozen, her hands up as if not knowing what to do with them. He backed her up into the bathroom until her lower back hit the counter. Moaning she finally figured out how to responded, her fingers dug into his shoulder and neck. She curled her tongue around his, making him growl deeply. His hands gripped her waist, lifting her at eye level on the counter.

"Fuck." She gasped, as Creep's mouth moved down her neck until his teeth bit into her shoulder, the pinch of teeth causing a steady throb between her thighs. She clawed at him, her hands sliding under his shirt to find sculpted abs and chest, her blunt nails scraping down the tan flesh.

Creep began pressing closer, her thighs spread wide as he rut with slow precise thrusts. Pressing her boot heels into the back of his thighs she moaned, "More goddamnit."

A gruff chuckle, had her smiling as he dipped his mouth to tongue her cleavage, a wet trail cooling as he went upwards. When he stood upright he began pulling her belt open, his eyes trailing over her face. Kayla felt self conscious, her face turning to keep the marred side from his eyes.

"Don't." He rasped, his hand raising to turn her back towards him. His thumb brushed across the cleft in her cheek as he murmured, "Got nothing to hide."

Rolling her eyes, she looked down at his chest, her finger playing with the hem of his shirt.

"Got everything to hide." She replied, her eyes rising to his, before yanking his shirt off. Moving in slower, he began kissing her deeply, his hands working her pants open as she raised her hips it help remove the now suffocating fabric. Yanking them down, Creep's hand sunk between her thighs, his fingers trailing through her slick lips. A skin prickling growl rumbled through him as he sucked her tongue into his mouth.

"So hot' n wet." He moaned, his fingers sinking inside her as they curled upwards. The man finding a fast and thorough rhythm, Kayla bite into his chest as a deep moan crawled out of her throat. She was panting as his other hand slid up her shirt, exposing her abdomen as he yanked the cup of her bra down.

"Fuckin sexy." He muttered, his fingers traced the muscles along her stomach and ribs. Dipping his head he sucked on the rosy skin of her breast, Kayla gripping his head to her chest as he worked her nipple hard.

"Oh fuck." She gasped, her hips rolling with every plunge, Creep growling as wet walls gripped his dexterous fingers. Kayla came hard, her head thrown back into the dusty mirror as he licked long paths up her cleavage, the man tasting her sweaty skin. She watched as he slid his fingers into his mouth, his eyes darkening even more than before.

"Jesus." She gasped as he pulled her boot off and freed one leg from the tangle of denim. Kayla quickly unlaced his belt, pulling the button open as he shoved them down far enough to expose himself. Kayla gripped his hardon, her fingers curling around the girth with a coy grin.

"I'm not sure you'll fit." She teased as Creep draped one of her legs over his thick forearm to spread her wider.

"I'll fit." He murmured into her neck through open mouthed kisses, his cock sliding smoothly between her folds. Both moaned at the combined heat and wetness. Without much hesitation, Creep adjusted his aim, the swollen head pushing inside her slow but persistent.

"Fuck, Kay." He groaned into the curve of her neck, his teeth nipping her heated skin and fingers digging into the flesh of her hips as he sunk into her heat. Kayla moaned as he pulled out only to sink back in deeper, the thick head pulling a wonderful friction from her.

"Michael." She gasped, her eyes fluttering as he bottomed out. The man froze for a second, his gaze even hotter as she moaned his real name. Without warning he began slamming into her hard and fast. Sweat had them moving against each other easily, the slap of skin echoing in the tiny tiled room. Kayla held on as he drove into her with total determination. She rolled with his body, curving into his snapping hips.

"Gotta cum." He demanded, his forehead creased as he ordered her to enjoy herself. Kayla smiled slowly at him, watching as his face softened. Leaning in he kissed her deeply as his hips still thrust into her wet thighs. Pulling out, Creep yanked her from the counter and spun her around. Kayla was met with her own cloudy reflection, the scars stretching across her face making her grimace. Turn her cheek away from the mirror she made eye contact with Creep over her shoulder. His hand held her hip as the other stroked up her back, pressing her forward causing her ass to raise.

"Got nothin to hide." He repeated while sliding inside with one torturously slow thrust.

Dropping her chin to her chest she focused on how thick he felt as his hips bottomed out repeatedly. Kayla kept eye contact with him as he wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer as he thrust.

"Cum." He ordered loudly, "now."

Without even trying, Kayla's body snapped, her body convulsing with the orgasm. Creep's loud growling caught her attention, the man's head thrown back and neck strained as he pulled out to cum hard onto her back. They met eyes in the reflection, both sweaty and breathless. She felt him towel of her back as she rest her forehead against the cool glass mirror.

"You good." He asked roughly, as they redressed with shy eyes. Kayla huffed out a laugh and smirked at him. "Peachy. You?"

A rare grin curled his lip as he replied, "likewise."

* * *

She was supposed to be sleeping but she kept seeing flashes of Creep plunging into her from behind. The reflection of him over her shoulder while cumming had her squeezing her thighs together.

"You awake?" She whispered, looking over in the direction of the quiet man.

"No." he replied hoarsely, humor evident in his tone. Kayla smiled into the dark and asked, "was that a one off?"

A grunt was followed by a tense silence until Creep's voice broke it. "Not sure that it's a good idea to do again."

"Because of him?"

"No." he replied, the sound of him shifting uncomfortably. "Before everything… I had a wife… a kid." Kayla looked over at him, a shadow passing off of the moon had enough light shining through to see his troubled expression.

"I'm not… I can't." He rasped, his voice hoarse and strained. Kayla nodded without knowing if he could see her.

"It's alright." She spoke, the woman honestly feeling if it was a one off it'd be fine. It wasn't that she didn't enjoy it because that was far from the fucking truth. She hadn't felt anything like it since before the world ended. Georgie had been great, different and enjoyable but Kayla needed what a solid man could give her.

"Really." She added, her hand reaching out towards him finding his shoulder. Kayla squeezed it and assured, "I'm good if you are. It was fucking awesome but I'm not… I can't either."

"Because of him?" Creep repeated her own question, his tone far from judgmental. Kayla chewed her cheek and really thought about the question. Did she want Negan, was that why she couldn't see herself being anything more than a friend for Creep?

"Maybe." She replied softly. "I'm not gonna be some goddamn wife though, so it doesn't matter."

"Good." He growled, his hand reaching to trace a thumb down the scar curling around her eye gently. "You deserve more than that shit. A lot more."

Kayla's eyes dropped as they burned with surprising emotion, unsure if it were the words or the action that caused it. She hadn't let herself think of wanting Negan outright because she knew no matter what she did, who she was or what she felt, Kayla would never be enough for him. The last shred of her dignity just wouldn't let herself go down that path with him. She may think badly of herself for a million different reasons but Kayla knew that she at least deserved someone to want her and only her.

"Get some sleep." He whispered, "I'm gonna relieve Donny."

"You should sleep too."

"I'm not the one who has to control all us fuckheads." He responded while climbing to his feet. "Get some rest."

* * *

Kayla was on watch when she received a radio transmission from the incoming Saviors. They were a mile away with the repairman as well as new transportation. She let the others sleep until the vehicles actually showed, Kayla sticking her head inside the station announcing their arrival.

Creep exited first, his eyes scanning her as if looking for something. Cocking an eyebrow she offered, "I meant it. I'm ok if you are."

Dipping his chin her made sure Donny want nearby and rasped, "if it were different, if I was..."

Nodding she smiled softly at him and replied, "yeah. If we were different."

A small grin curled his lips but fell off as the other men joined them. Kayla turned her attention to the new arrivals, directing Ricky to the garage before noticing Simon climbing from the truck. Kayla sighed, the woman knowing Negan sent Simon to check on her.

"Little car trouble Princess." Simon teased, his eyebrows raised. Rolling her eyes she crossed her arms, "everything worked out. We got his shit."

"Well I'm here just to make sure the rest of the trip goes smoothly."

Nodding she kept watch as Simon joined the men to fix the truck. She listened as Ricky cursed up a storm about them fucking his truck up. A few dead stumbled her way, their lumbering gait made her sigh. Moving forward, she stabbed one before stomping on another's knee. Jamming her blade into the back of its head, she watched as the third fell to a brutal hit with Creep's machete. Smirking she tipped her head in thanks and searched the dead bodies for anything worthwhile.

"Score." She muttered, spinning the switchblade in her hand, the blade unfolding smoothly. "Need a blade?"

"Nah." He replied, ticking his chin to the few dead coming out of the alleyway. Kayla tucked the new blade in her boot before rising to help with the new threats. She'd just put down two more when the other men pulled the garage door open, the truck revving and ready to go.

"Let's roll ladies." Simon hollered, a grin smearing across his face. "We're need back home."

* * *

When they pulled up to Sanctuary they found it surrounded by dead, the usually cleared area now thick with corpses.

"What the fuck is going on?" She asked, leaning forward to see how far the herd went. Simon grunted a little, his hand smoothing his moustche down as he explained. "It seems our skin wearing friends found the home base. Dead started yesterday after the others got back. We think they were following you."

"Shit." She muttered, her eyes scanning the walls to see man saviors and other residents killing them through the fence. Kayla checked her rifle and handgun for round, finding herself low.

"I need .308s and some .40s." She informed, reaching over the seat as Ricky handed her the ammunition. Reloading she got ready to help clear a path into the gates while the other truck tried to draw some of the dead away with loud music. Kayla watched as Creep hopped out of the back, his blade slamming home into the closest dead. Climbing out of the cab she helped, pushing a rotting corpse away while smashing her machete into its head. She could hear yelling from the fence line as the others tried to help thin the crowd around the pair. Simon was inching the truck ahead, separating the herd. Kayla spun, slicing her blade while dodging the grasping hands of undead. Kicking one in the chest she elbowed another out of her way in order to kill one coming up behind Creep. A hand grabbed her jacket making her sneer angrily she struggled to get away. Stabbing her blade under its chin, Kayla put it down as another stumbled towards her.

"Fuck you asshole." Stomping on its knee, her machete landed to his temple. Kayla looked up and saw the path was almost clear, her eyes connecting with Negan's as the gate opened and men flooded out to finish the crowd. Growling she shoved a decrepit female corpse into a rusted car, her fngers clenching its hair while slamming it into the hood. The skull cracked in her hands, clumps of hair and gray matter filling her fists.

"Get your fucking ass in here Kay." Negan shouted, Lucille being yanked from the destroyed skull of a corpse. His face was sprayed with blood, his eyes wild and yet a grin still spread across his face. "Enough diddle fucking daddling Doll."

Shaking the gore from her hands, Kayla pulled her machete from the temple of a biter before jogging into the fences. Scanning the area, Kayla met Creep's eyes and nodded in his direction. His gaze expressing his gratitude for watching his back.

The gates rolled closed as the leftover dead reached through the bars, fingers squeezing into the chainlink.

Kayla panted, bracing her hands on her knees as she caught her breath. She was covered in blood, her skin sticky with it. Creep joined her and bent to see her face, his hand touching her shoulder.

Raising an questioning eyebrow the man silently asking if she were okay. Nodding she responded just as quietly.

Negan's loud voice called out, "how bout you two lazy fucks help out." Kayla looked up to see his narrowed eyes glaring at her and the man next to her. Sighing she stood up, following Creep to the fence. Stabbing through the barrier she used her already exhausted limbs to kill the dead. It was far after sunset when the slaughter was called off, the remaining corpses still walking left to collect later for their fence line.

* * *

She stood in Negan's office while they went over plans to deal not only with the attacking group but also the enormous amount of dead now rotting beyond their fences. After a general plan was outlined, the group broke up and Negan motioned for her to stay. Kayla was still covered in gore, her skin tight and sticky from it drying. She just wanted to shower and eat, not deal with Negan's bullshit.

Standing with her arms crossed she watched him pour two drinks, the short crystal filled with amber liquid.

"Here." He offered, his hand out stretched. Kayla took it, sipping it despite her desire to eat rather than drink. The liquid burned a path down her throat and made her grimace.

"Light weight." He chuckled, throwing his back after sitting down with a groan. Kayla joined him, stretching her legs out while sipping her drink again.

"So you're fucking him now huh?" Negan inquired, his lips curling but the amusement not reaching his eyes. Kayla rolled her eyes and muttered, "I should've know this wasn't just some debriefing."

"Oh it totally could be a debriefing if you're offering." He drawled, his tongue wetting his bottom lip before biting it. Kayla sighed, shaking her head at the idiocy of setting him up for such a taunt.

"Negan." She spoke tiredly, "could we just… not do this right now. I'm fucking exhausted."

Grinning he continued to prod her, "well the quicker you answer my fucking questions the quicker you can go on your merry way."

"I doubt that." She muttered under her breath, the woman's eyes widening as Negan shifted forward quickly.

"The fuck you say?"

"Come on Negan." She groaned, "don't do this."

"Do what?"

"Act like you have any fucking say in who I fuck and when." She shouted, jumping to her feet. Kayla's temper flared as she grew completely impatient with Negan's attitude, the woman ignoring the alarm bells going off in her head. Negan stood up, his chest rising quickly as he growled, "you better swallow your next words or I'll shove them down your throat."

"What're you gonna do huh? Hit me? Go fuck yourself." She sneered, chucking the crystal glass in her hand against the wall. Negan practically leapt over the desk, his hands grabbing her filthy jacket while walking her backwards into the wall. Slamming her a little too forcefully into the flat surface, Kayla grunted at the impact. Negan's teeth were bared and his tone threatening. "You ever and I fucking mean ever talk to me that way again and what you have here in Sanctuary is over. I'm shutting this shit down now. Keep it up and you and Lucille are going to French fucking kiss."

Kayla glared up at him, just egging him on to do whatever it was he was going to do. "You think you can threaten me. I've got nothing to lose."

"You've got a lot to lose doll. You've got no idea what I'm capable of."

Huffing she tried yanking away from him only to be pinned tighter against the wall. "I own you Kayla." He growled, squeezing her arms firmly. "You're mine to do with what I fucking want."

"I'm not a wife. I won't ever be a wife. I can fuck who I want, when I want. Just like you." She slapped his hands away. "You don't force people to be with you right?"

Negan glared down at her, his breath huffed across her face as he stayed silent. Kayla grinned maliciously, needing to put him in his place rather than continuing to take it from him.

"Well I don't want to be with you Negan." She ground out, the lie tasting like ash in her mouth. Swallowing dryly after speaking she muttered, "Its never gonna happen. It can't."

Growling deeply, Negan's hand raised to grip her neck, the curl of his fingers aggressive but far from painful. The feeling of his hand holding her by her thin neck had Kayla's stomach tighten. A deep pull inside her core had Kayla curling her fingers into his shirt. Pushing at his body, her arms gave way as he leaned into her. Kayla gasped as his whole body stretched out against her, every inch covered.

"Sounds like you want me, holy hell," he groaned, murmuring into her neck as his bottom lip dragged up the length of it. His voice thick and breathless, "Feels like you want it bad Kayla. Your lil hearts racing doll."

Quick pants were escaping her parted lips, "Because you're crushing me."

"That ain't it and you know it. You're probably soaked right now. Bet it's sploosh city down between those soft thighs." He groaned, his hips rolling into her hip. "Tell me you don't want me."

Kayla swallowed thickly, her throat tight as she spoke, "it doesn't matter what I want, fuck, it doesn't matter what you want either because it won't work."

"Why?"

"Because I'll never be enough and I can't live like that. I fucking won't live like that. Now please let me go."

Negan stared down at her, his eyes hardening as he slowly pushed himself away from her. She could tell it was taking everything he had to retreat and it made her heart clench. Turning away she forced him to look at her scars, the gruesome lines given to her by one of his wives. A low blow to make him drown in the guilt she knew he carried.

"Get out." He growled, his hand pointing at the door. "tomorrow you're on wall duty."

Kayla narrowed her eyes angrily but didn't speak a word, the woman striding out and away from the infuriating man. She'd dealt with too much in the last few days and was physically and mentally exhausted.

* * *

Cleaning up dead bodies all day after having slept very few hours was far from enjoyable for Kayla. They started early, the gates needing to be cleared so the convoy could exit. She was hauling a dead creature to the side with Daryl when Creep approached. His face was stern and posture tense. Kayla dropped its legs and looked up as he stopped a foot away from her.

"I'm going to the eastern outpost."

Kayla eyes crinkled and mouth scowled. "You fucking serious?"

Nodding he glanced at Daryl who stood nearby but was looking away. She knew he was listening but ignored it.

"Why?"

"Why do you think?" He growled, "why'd you tell him?"

"I didn't, he just assumed." She muttered, looking at the car that was headed to the furthest outpost. "I'm sorry."

Rolling his shoulder, Creep looked down at her. "Not on you."

Kayla reached down and pulled out the blade from her boot and tucked it into an empty pocket on his cargos.

"Just in case you need some help out there." Peering up at him she murmured, "don't fucking die out there Micheal."

The man's face softened at her words and he reached out, his thumb brushing across the scar on her jaw. "You too Kay."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FYI: I imagine Lincoln from The 100 as Michael aka Creep. It works well since Kayla is inspired by Octavia. ;-)


	10. Chapter 10

* * *

Stomping up the metal stairwell, Kayla's boots echoed as her heart beat fast and hard. She was pissed off and losing the brittle control she had on her temper. After watching Creep leave en route to the furthest outpost from Sanctuary, her patience snapped. Daryl had seen her losing it almost instantly, the man having witnessed her meltdowns while she was held in Alexandria, tried to keep her from storming into Sanctuary but nothing could stop her.

Kayla reached the entrance to Negan's large level that housed himself and his wives as well as his higher ups. He'd been trying to get her to join them but she'd refused, not wanting to feel even more constricted.

One of the soldiers guarding the floor tried to stop her but she brushed passed him, Kayla shoving him forcefully into the wall as he grabbed at her jacket.

"Get fucked." She snarled, elbowing him as he wrestled with her. A door opened at the end of the hallway just as she freed herself with a knee to his groin. Negan stood in the doorway, his broad shoulder braced on the doorframe, his legs crossed at the ankle as a smile curled his lips.

Kayla glared at him as she stomped away from the man curled up on the floor.

"That is just fucking low doll." Negan scolded with a grin, "no one deserve a knee to the nads."

"Fuck him." She growled reaching the man smirking as if he were without a care in the world. Negan motioned for the man currently climbing to his feet with a red face to leave. "Go on and find someone willing to kiss it all better, man." He instructed before looking back at Kayla who was simmering in front of him.

"Come on inside darlin'." He stepped back and gestured for her to enter his apartment. Kayla clenched her teeth and strode inside, her fists balled with the urge to wail on Negan with no restraint.

"You look like you wanna hit me Princess." Negan taunted, his eyebrow raised as she paced in front of him twice before turning her livid eyes on him.

"I would give my left fucking arm to be able to beat the shit out of you." She replied calmly, her voice cold and eyes colder. "You're literally the biggest asshole I've ever fucking known and I have known some pretty gigantic assholes."

Negan's eyes narrowed as he crossed his arms, the man looking like he might snap at any moment also. "I'm letting you slide on threatening me because I know you're upset but the next words out of your mouth better be a fucking apology."

"I'm not apologizing for shit. You think sending Creep away will make me fuck you?" She asked, her finger jabbing into his chest with no restraint. "You think that makes me like you? Huh?"

"Poke me again and I'm breaking your goddamn hand Princess." He growled, smacking her hand away. "I sent him because he's needed out there."

"Oh yeah? He was just randomly needed at the furthest outpost from here, it has nothing to do with me fucking the ever loving fuck out of him huh?" She taunted back her lips curled aggressively. She wanted to hurt Negan, hurt him like he did her by bragging about his wives blow jobs or having Kayla walk in on it. She wanted him to burn with jealousy and ache with betrayal.

Negan's eyes went colder than before, his shoulders rolling forward as he threatened, "Correct your tone Kayla or I'm going to do something you'll regret."

Clenching her teeth she growled, "Do you think taking everything I give a shit about is going to get me in your bed? You honestly think I'd enjoy being with you when all you do is fucking take and take and take from me? You think that's appealing? You think I like you when all you do bully me? I've had enough of being controlled Negan. I've had enough of being manipulated. I can't fucking take it anymore." Her voice cracked and she couldn't help but swallow back a sob. She was so angry that tears threatened to fill her burning eyes.

Negan's face transformed from furious to something close to remorseful. His feet shifted away from her angry face as he sat down heavily on his sofa. She tried to reel in her rage but she continued to prod him. "Being a controlling prick is doing the exact fucking opposite."

Negan glared at her and replied, "I do what I've got to do."

"Keeping me isolated isn't what you've got to do. You're doing it because you're selfish shithead." She spoke truthfully, her tone then softening. "You're pushing me away and at some point I'm gonna disappear."

Negan's eyes looked troubled for once, a nervousness that Kayla had never seen. Moving forward slowly she stood in front of the couch, looking down at him and asked, "Would it be better if I went to an outpost?" The idea sounded really unappealing but also freeing.

Negan's eyes narrowed as he looked away from her, his head shaking once, "No."

"I feel like whatever this is, " she spoke motioning between them, "is only causing shit to get stressful. It's a distraction neither of us needs. It might be better to just not see each other at all."

"No." he snapped, grabbing her wrist to pull her closer. She stood between his legs as his other hand landed on her hip. Kayla stiffened at the contact but stayed still.

"You leaving, isn't happening." He replied with a calmer tone, his thumb brushing along the edge of her shirt. Kayla's breath caught as his warm brown eyes peered up at her, his expression far from manipulative.

"It might be better." She muttered softly, her eyes fluttering as his thumb slip under her shirt to trail across a sliver of her abdomen, around the hip to rest at the base of her spine. Kayla barely suppressed a shudder but knew Negan felt it anyways, the man having the nerve to lick his lips hungrily. Gazing up at her, Negan confessed, "You being out of my sight is way more fucking distracting."

"We can't keep doing this." Kayla murmured, trying to step away from his grip and his saturating desire. Negan's hand tightened on her hip and wrist, "it would all stop if you just gave in to what you want." His voice was low and way too appealing.

"I don't-."

"Stop fucking denying it." He growled, yanking her close enough to catch his chin stubble on her shirt. Kayla's free hand landed on his shoulder, her fingers brushing through the soft hair at the nape of his neck. Negan peered up at her with imploring eyes, "just look me in the eyes and tell me you don't."

"I've told you already. I don't want it." She lied, her eyes flicking away remorsefully. Negan's mood switched, anger taking over as he physically moved her backwards while standing up to his full height. Negan rolled his shoulder as if stretching out tension, a low irritated growl grumbed out of his chest. Kayla readied herself for a raging tantrum but instead he turned his back and poured himself a drink. He sipped it and drawled, "Creep isn't staying at the outpost. He'll be back in a few days."

"What?" She asked, her brow furrowed as she watched him sit down again, his feet propped on the coffee table, his arm laying outstretched on the back of the sofa. "He's coming back so no need to throw a hissy fit."

"Why the whole argument then? Why didn't you just tell me."

"I wanted to see what you'd do." He spoke with a shrug before saying, "Do you really think I would send that fucking freak away? He one of my best soldiers. Besides if I keep him close, I keep you close and you know what else doll? You got something to lose now."

A cold chill ran through her bones as he smiled mischievously, raking a hand through his hair lazily. She felt her eyes burn and chest constrict at the realization that her involvement with Creep was now a danger to his life. She had no doubt in her mind that Negan would kill Creep without a second thought if it meant controlling her.

"Run along now. I've got to leave in a few minutes for Hilltop. There's been some discrepancies in their pickups."

* * *

Rejoining the wall crew she watched the caravan going to Hilltop leave. Negan sat in the passenger seat of a large truck passing by, his eyes skimming over her as if she were just a corpse tied to the fence line. She could feel Daryl's eyes on her but ignored him, her teeth set and eyes hard. Kayla wasn't sure what she was feeling, if it was relief that Creep was coming back or sorrow that he was. He was now in danger and she had put him there with her confession thrown out to hurt Negan. Now that he knew Creep was a weak link in her chain, he was the leverage that Negan always searched for to control a situation.

Negan and her had been dancing around each other, sometimes as if they were lovers while other times they might as well have been circling boxers. Part of her enjoyed the verbal sparring, the woman thrived it seemed on the witty and mostly inappropriate humor the man spewed. She also liked the thrill of pissing him off yet still getting away with it. Negan was becoming her weakness, her addiction and that might be the only reason she was fighting so much. She hated weakness, hated feeling weak and Negan had become a catalyst for that weakness.

"You alright?" Daryl rasped after she tossed a severed limb aside angrily.

Kayla snorted, her irritated eyes landing on him. "Like you give a fuck."

"Wouldn' ask if I didn't."

Laughing dryly she glanced at him as he used a shovel to scoop up gore from spilled corpses, the guts poured into garbage cans to be burned. "Right. Let's gossip like teenage girls Dixon. Forget all about you holding me hostage. Forget all about being interrogated for months. The pissing in a bucket and left without food for days. Bygones be bygones and all that."

"It ain't like I didn't go through the same shit." He barked, his face red.

"Yeah well I didn't fucking do it to you."

Daryl glared at her and then tossed another shovel worth of gore into the bin. "Nah your boyfriend did."

Kayla stood upright and felt her tolerance for his bullshit fall away. "Don't fucking start with me Dixon. I wouldn't be here if it weren't for you fucks."

"Whatever." He muttered, the man moving away from her to keep working.

Glowering at him she threw another arm onto a pile and looked out the fence at the others gathering bodies. 'Fuck this day.' She thought angrily.

* * *

Hours later she was half contemplating leaving Sanctuary all together, just sneaking away while on a run and disappearing. Kayla was fairly certain she could pull it off now, she could be long gone before anyone came looking but she was far from certain if she could make herself do it. She wasn't sure if she could walk away from Negan and that terrified her.

The sound of the gates opening had Kayla finally looking up from her work, the convoy from Hilltop had returned.

Kayla walked over to meet the group unloading, the supplies Hilltop provided to be split up amongst the Sanctuary's residents. She had just reached the courtyard when rapid gunfire broke out, the impressive 50 caliber rounds were cutting down unsuspecting Saviors, the gun blowing watermelon sized holes in their guts. Finding Negan crouched by a car, his grin wide and eyes lively. "Can you believe this shit?" He hollered over the gunfire. "Someone's got huge motherfucking balls."

The sound of the clip emptying and being replaced was followed by a familiar voice shouting, "No one else needs to die, bring me Negan."

Kayla stood up instantly, her survival skills leaving her as Carl's voice continued to demand Negan.

The man in question grabbed her wrist, hissing, "get the fuck down before he shoots your sexy ass."

Yanking away she walked into the open, her hands up as she caught sight of the teen barricaded in the moving truck holding the supplies. A shot ricochetted off the ground by her feet making her flinch but not dive for cover.

"Carl!" She growled, her hands still raised as she watched him recognize her. "Put it down Carl."

"No. Get 'im Kay. No one else needs to die." His voice growled, "he killed my friends and he deserves to die. You don't know him."

"Oh I know him better than you Carl. Put it down before shit gets worse." She ordered, her eyes skipping over to Daryl who was working the fence. Kayla could tell he was just as worried about what was to come now that Carl had entered the lions den.

"Well, well, well." Negan drawled from behind her, a Savior walking in front of him as a human shield, waiting for Carl to take a shot. Kayla stepped partially in front of him, her eyes following Carl's rifle barrel as he followed the man in leather.

"Goddamn aren't you just adorable." Negan sneered, his grin far from friendly as he sauntered around in front of Carl's barrel, the gun trailing after his every move. Kayla clenched her teeth as Carl's hand tightened on the hilt, his finger twitching on the trigger.

"Did you pick that gun because it looks cool?" Negan teased with a chuckle, "Shit, you totally fucking did, didn't you?" Laughing gruffly he looked around his men, all of which were holding Carl in their sights. "I'm not gonna lie to you kid, you scare the fucking shit outta me."

Kayla muttered, "put it down Carl."

"Move Aunt Kay." Carl growled, "so I can end this."

"Aunt Kay?" Negan chortled, "shit I didn't think about you knowing the kid like that doll."

"Carl." She growled, her fists tightened as the teen still held his ground. Another Savior lunged for the gun, the sound of the high powered rifle rattled off as the man was torn to shreds. Negan pulled Kayla back as the gunshots pinged off the metal of the car next to her. His eyes were livid as he looked her over for injury. Yanking away from him, she watched as Javier and two others tackled the teen to the ground. Rushing forward, she pulled Javier away and punched the other man to get him off the teen.

Blocking Carl from the others from opening fire she spread her arms wide as she stood over the teen. "Try it again asshole." She threatened Javier who moved for Carl again. Negan grinned widely at her, sauntering up with his hands raised slightly. "Now now. Don't get all mother bear on us, doll. I'm not gonna hurt the little asshole, what kinda host would I be to our new guest if I knocked his fucking head off?"

Gently moving Kayla out of the way, Negan bent at the waist to look the kid over before putting his hand out, "let me give you a helping hand."

When Carl only glared back Negan smiled widely, his eyebrows raised in amusement. "You've got the same stink eye as your dad, but it's only half as good." Negan chuckled, pointing his gloved finger at Carl's eye patch, "You know because you got just the one eye."

Carl stared at him, his eye connecting with Kayla who was scowling behind the man taunting the teen.

"Really? You're really not gonna take my hand?" Negan's voice becoming colder and eyes harder, "you're lucky you have a hand... unlike your girlfriend right?"

Kayla glared at Carl, mouthing, "Take it."

Negan glanced back at Kayla, the woman snapping her mouth shut as he smirked.

Wiggling his fingers while smirking coyly, "don't leave me hanging kid."

Kayla watched as Carl relented, his slim frame nervous as Negan directed him towards Sanctuary.

"Ok new plan, you fucks burn the bodies. We'll unload tomorrow." He ordered the remaining Saviors, his eyes landing on Kayla "I'm not even gonna have time to unload in one of my wives today. No bjs, no handies and no fucking fucks. How disappointing right Kay?"

Grinding her teeth she glared at him as he smiled. "Follow me and the little serial killer here."

"What're you going to do to me?" Carl asked, digging his heels in as Negan glowered down at him. He pointed in Carl's face, his eyes narrowed and mouth frowning, "Number one don't shatter my image of you. You're a fucking badass. You're not scared of shit. Don't be scared of me. It's a disappointment. Number two, do you want me to ruin the surprise? Fuck you kid. Seriously. Fuck. You."

* * *

They wandered into Sanctuary to the walkway over the common room, Negan directing Carl to the edge, whispering, "check this out."

Kayla looked down to hide her eye roll, the man showing off had always made her scoff. The people below all kneeled, heads bowed as Negan smirked at Carl. "Pretty cool huh? They're all worshipping my big dick."

Carl crossed his arms and watched as Negan spoke loudly over the crowd, "the Saviors have gone out into the world and fought the dead and brought back some reeeeaaally good shit. Some of that could be yours if you work hard and play by the rules."

He grinned at Kayla and murmured, "isn't that right doll?"

"Yes sir." She drawled, her tone edging on haughty. Negan chuckled despite her blatant sarcasm, turning back to the group kneeling in front of him.

"Today everybody gets fresh vegetables at dinner, no points necessary."

The crowd clapped, some whistling in excitement. Negan nodded, his arms outstretched as if physically accepting their praise, the man practically patting himself on the back for taking supplies from others. Turning to Carl he rasped, "you see that? Respect. Cool huh? They still on their knees?"

Negan gave him a crooked grin, that Kayla couldn't help but appreciate. The man was handsome and she couldn't find it in herself to hate him while he smiled so hotly. Negan looked down at the crowd and released them, "as you were!"

Kayla followed Negan and Carl as they exited the walkway and continued onto the stairwell leading to his office and apartment.

* * *

She walked next to Carl as they entered the living area used by Negan's wives. He had five left after Amber's death, most being somewhat nameless for Kayla other than Sherry and Meredith. Most were young and stupid, others conniving and manipulative, riding on Negan's coattails. All very weak and very useless in Kayla's eyes.

"Carl, the wives. Wives this is Carl. Don't mind the kid." Negan introduced, nodding and smiling as if he were the proudest bastard in the world. Kayla looked away as he kissed Sherry on he lips and smacked the ass of some blonde in a mini skirt.

"I know." Negan drawled, raising his eyebrows as Carl looked around, "Every woman where you're from dresses like they do the books at an auto shop. You're gonna want to look at their titties. It's cool. I won't mind. They won't mind. Knock yourself out. Right Kay?"

Swallowing down the rage filled words she wanted to throw at him Kayla spoke dryly, "It is what they're paid for."

Negan sneered at her, his eyes angry but mouth blessedly silent. A satisfying smirk curled her lips at the dig she provided. Kayla couldn't help but recognize the enjoyment she got at poking the bear was far to similar to the way Negan thrived on tormenting others. The teens voice broke her out of her self exploration of what that meant exactly.

"Are you a wife?" Carl asked Kayla, his nose wrinkled in distaste. Shaking her head, Negan answered before she could, "touchy subject kid. We're having a difference in opinions on that front."

Kayla kept herself in check, the woman knowing the worst thing she could do was show disobedience in front of Carl. It didn't seem as though Negan was going to kill him, it actually seemed as though Negan respected Carl for doing what he did.

"Follow me." He instructed, guiding Carl down a hallway and into his private living area. Kayla having just been there earlier flashed back to their conversation, her eyes connecting with his knowing ones.

"Have a seat Carl, eat something." Negan instructed, unzipping his jacket and tossing it onto his large bed. Kayla stayed standing as Negan sat down across from the teen. He chewed a slice of apple slowly as he stared at Carl. She could see the tension in Carl's narrow frame, his back ramrod straight and shoulders hunched.

Kayla wasn't too sure if he knew what he had just gotten, not only himself but his group, into. Whatever was coming was on his shoulders now.

"Are all of those women actually your... Wives?

"Yeah. Always wanted to screw a whole bunch of different women. I mean, why settle for just one?" Negan drawled, his body extended lazily on the sofa. Kayla scowled at him, the man only smiling back at her while continuing, "Why follow the same old rules? Why not make life better? Speaking of, sit Kayla, you're freaking me out." Moving to the other arm chair near Carl she sat down stiffly, her eyes looking over the teen.

"Let's get started." Negan spoke happily, clapping his hands together while leaning forward. He braced his elbows on his knees and grinned widely at Carl who leaned away from the intimidating man.

"Started on what?" He asked nervously, turning his head to look at Kayla. She shrugged with a frown, the woman just as lost.

Negan laughed, smacking Carl on the knee as if they were good friends, "I want to get to know you a little better, Carl." Kayla shifted in her seat anxiously not knowing where Negan was heading.

"Why?"

Snorting Negan leaned back, his arm on the couch as he smiled coyly, "Work it out. You're smart. In fact, I'm gonna tell you just how smart you are, in case you don't already know."

His gaze flicked to hers before explaining, "See, I'd expect a kid your age to be moping around, cryin' like a little bitch. But you... you go on a mission. You find me, you kill a handful of my men." Negan's eyes narrowed and his voice lowered, "You're smart enough to know that I'm not gonna let this slide."

Carl swallowed thickly, the kid sinking back into his seat while staring at the floor. Kayla glanced at Negan and saw the pure joy he had for intimidating Carl. It made her glare at him while mouthing "fucking asshole."

Negan barked out a laugh and then sighed loudly, "Good times."

The room grew quiet until Negan exclaimed, "God!, I can't... I can't do it. It's like talking to a birthday present. You got to take that crap off your face. I want to see what Grandma got me."

"Negan!" Kayla barked, her teeth clenching at his insensitivity. He turned a glare onto her as he growled while holding up four fingers, "Four men! Four... men. This is a fair punishment." Looking at Carl he asked coldly, "Do you really want to piss me off?"

Kayla crossed her arms tightly as she watched Carl slowly unwind the bandage covering the injury. Negan rubbed his hands together in excitement. "Almost there."

Her stomach turned as she became overwhelmed with sympathy for the kid. Kayla herself had personal experience living with a grievous injury altering her physical appearance. She had felt that embarrassment and shame of looking like a scarred mess. The physical pain of being gawked at and whispered about.

"Get that hair out of your face. Let me see." Negan ordered, leaning forward to see what was hidden. Kayla winced as the vacant eye socket was exposed, the skin slowly sealing itself shut was far from complete. Negan shouted at the sight his face grimacing yet still smiling cruelly, "Christ! That is disgusting. No wonder you cover that up. Have you seen it? I mean, have you looked in the mirror? That is gross as hell."

Kayla breathing became shallow as anger burned fast and bright through her. She shot up to her feet and growled, "Stop."

Negan chuckled, his gaze still on the teens disfigured face, "it won't be a hit with the ladies but no one will fuck with you, holy hell I wouldn't mess with you. I want to touch it. Oh, come on. Can I touch it?"

Kayla stepped in front of Carl, blocking him from view as she clenched her fists to keep from punching Negan's fat mouth. Her eyes burned as the unadulterated hurt joined the anger still burning through her. She felt pain for the kid but it was also as if he were saying the same insulting and cruel things to her.

Negan peered up at her finally, his eyes tearing away from Carl dramatic injury. Kayla's vision was blurry as she ground out through clenched teeth. "That's. Enough."

Negan's humor died, his face falling as he took in her teary eyes and her scarred cheek ticking violently. Hearing the sniffle from behind her, Kayla instinctively cupped the back of his head, pressing Carl's forehead into her lower back. She wiped her cheek while staring back at Negan's remorseful face.

"Enough." She muttered hoarsely.

"Shit, kid. Look... I just... It's easy to forget that you're... just a kid." He explained while trying to look past Kayla to get Carl's attention.

He flicked his gaze to Kayla and he spoke to both of them. "And I didn't mean to hurt your feelings or anything. I..." Negan sighed, scrubbing his eyes, "I was just screwing around. Just forget it."

Kayla turned around and turned Carl's face up, her thumb stroking the cheek below his empty socket. "You good."

Wiping his nose self consciously he nodded, pulling his head away from her grasp. "Yeah."

Kayla stepped back and sat down, her eyes avoiding a Negan's. She could feel his eyes drilling into her profile, her cheek still twitching slightly.

"Did you do that to her face because of Enid?" Carl asked, his arms crossed as he glared at Negan. Growling he sat forward, "if I did it would be justified."

"He didn't do it." Kayla responded despite the angry glare Negan shot her.

"But you punished her for it?"

"That's classified champ." Negan replied dryly, changing the subject to something else. "Speaking of classified, is it true your little sister isn't actually Pricky Ricky's? That Kaylas brother knocked up your mom?"

"Jesus." Kayla groaned, rubbing her eyes as Negan continued to be an ass. Carl's brow furrowed and he looked at Kayla.

"I… I heard people talk about it but.. I was just a kid, I didn't see anything." Carl stammered, his gaze flicking from Negan to Kayla.

"He saved us Kay." He began, his hands picking at his jeans. Swallowing thickly, Kayla tried to control the tide of emotions crashing into her. She hadn't been told much about her brother's last weeks. Kayla didn't even know how long he survived the fall or how he lived.

"He… he got us out of Atlanta and we camped by a reservoir." Carl continued, the room so quiet Kayla was sure they could hear her heart hammering against her ribs. "There was a lot of us at first. But we lost some. Mom and Shane didn't seem… together so I don't know if it's true." Shrugging he muttered, "it doesn't matter anyways. She's family no matter what."

Kayla turned her eyes away as they prickled so painfully she thought they'd burst. Carl cleared his throat and spoke quietly, "in the beginning he talked about going to find you but then dad showed up and we had to run from the dead. He just.. he was tryin to keep us all alive."

Kayla sniffed, nodding once while keeping her eyes from the men in front of her. She wasn't going to cry in front of either of them. She was done opening up.

"Speaking of Rick does he know you've gone awol?" Negan broke the tension while changing the subject. Her bloodshot eyes flicked to his too see nothing other than concern in his brown eyes.

"No. no one does." He replied, his hands clenching. Negan grinned widely and rubbed his chin, "well that's just irresponsible of them, you're out running around doing god knows fucking what."

Kayla was finally reeled in from being crushed by information about Shane, her eyes meeting Carl's.

"So what is it you do?" Negan asked, his head cocking to the side as he still looked at Carl's empty socket.

"Do?"

"Yeah what do you do for fun? You like music?" Negan spoke with a smirk, "I want you to sing me a song."

"What?" Carl asked, his brow furrowed and nose scrunched in confusion.

"Yeah. You mowed down four of my men with a machine gun. I want something in return for that. Sing me a song." Negan stood up and picked up Lucille, the man swinging her around as if practicing. Kayla glared at him as Carl stammered through excuses while Negan pressured him to sing something from the old world.

"Start singing." Negan growled, rotating the bat in his hand. Carl eyeballed it as his voice cracked, "Okay, okay. Okay. Uh... You are my sunshine."

Negan grinned widely, motioning for him to continue. The teen sang, his voice catching as Negan swung down with Lucille, grunting as he stopped it right before she'd hit the floor. Kayla wrung her hands as she fought to intervene whatever that man had planned. She knew he wasn't going to kill Carl, he liked him too much but it wouldn't stop him from hurting him.

"Do not let me distract you, young man."

Cal sang the other verses and as he finished, Negan clapped slowly, "That's pretty good. Lucille loves being sung to. It's about the only thing she loves more than bashing in brains. Weird, huh?"

Sitting down he pat the seat, "come sit with me doll."

Kayla ground her teeth but climbed to her feet, sitting nearby but not close enough for Negan. Flinging an arm along the back of the sofa he pulled her into his side and hummed lowly. "That's better."

Carl shifted uncomfortably as Negan asked, "so did your mother sing that to you?"

The teen nodded as Negan asked, "Where is she now?"

Kayla watched Carl chin quiver as he seemed to relive his mother's passing. She'd never gotten along with Kayla, Lori having been high strung and controlling never enjoyed Kayla wild streak. She would scold her like a kid and was never happy with Kayla hanging out with Carl unless Shane was present.

"Damn. Dead, huh? You see it happen?"

"I shot her... before it could…" Carl rasped, his eye going to Kayla. "She died having Judith."

Kayla's chin dropped to her chest as she absorb the sad information. The woman had passed while giving birth to Shane's daughter, Kayla's niece, she'd sacrificed her life for the little girl.

"Damn, no wonder you're a little serial killer in the making." Negan commented, pointing at the kid, "you got guts kid. I like people with fucking guts, Kayla here has tons of 'em. Not scared of shit."

"I'm sorry about your mom Carl." Kayla spoke ignoring Negan's comments. "We didn't get along but she was a good mom. She'd be happy you're so strong."

Carl dipped his head, his hair falling over his exposed eye.

Unwrapping his arm from around Kayla, Negan clapped his hands together and stood up, "this has been fun but come on, kid. Get up. It's time."

"Time for what?"

"Time to go home."

* * *

The ride to Alexandria was quiet for only a few minutes until Negan asked, "so tell me about Kayla before the fucking dead started eating us. Was she wild? I kinda picture her being some wild fucking heartbreaker."

Rolling her eyes, Kayla kept her eyes on the road, the woman driving for the first time in a long time. Shifting the truck into gear she moved around a few biters as the truck in front of her swerved.

"I don't know… she was just normal."

"Come on, tell me… tell me something juicy." Negan instructed, rubbing his hands together with amused eyes. Kayla snorted, shaking her head with a faint smile. "Don't tell him shit."

"Hey!" Negan barked loudly causing Carl to jump slightly. Slowly Negan grinned, "he can tell me anything he fucking wants too. Stop being such a twat."

Chuckled, Kayla glanced at him with a raised eyebrow, "twat huh? Maybe I was fucking boring. Maybe I just went to work and the grocery store and did nothing fucking special."

"She used sing." Carl spoke as Negan kept prodding him for information. His eyes got huge and his grin even wider. "Well goddamn. Why didn't I have you sing? Sing for me Princess."

"No."

"You know I don't like that word."

"Yet I say it all the time." She deadpanned, her eyes jumping to the truck slowing down in front of her. "Got something going on ahead."

Negan was instantly serious, his head leaning to see around the truck. "Fuck." He muttered, his eyes moving to hers. "Another herd."

"It them?" She asked parking the truck as the others stopped in front of them.

"Who's them?" Carl asked.

"Just shut the fuck up kid." Negan growled, pulling a gun from the glove box and shoving it in his waistband. "Kay you're staying here with him."

"I'm more useful out there."

"Don't fucking question me." Negan growled, his eyes far from angry though, only concern showed as he tipped his chin to Carl. "Shit goes south, take this fucker home and I'll deal with Rick later."

The door slammed as he left and the others joined him to kill the horde wandering down the road at them.

"What's going on?" Carl asked, looking around to see what was happening outside.

Kayla shook her head and muttered, "later. I need to pay attention. Watch for biters that don't look or move like biters."

"What?"

"Just fucking do what I say Carl." Kayla snapped, pulling out her hand gun as a few dead made their way to the trucks. Both listened to the others guns firing off as orders were shouted by Negan. Kayla gripped the door just waiting for him to call her out but it never came. A dead man banged on the passenger door, its face obviously rotting. Another slammed into Kayla door, its hands grasping at the door handle and smearing blood across the window. Cocking her gun she stared at the creature, its eyes milky and dead. Suddenly the door was yanked open and Kayla was face to face with the creature. Behind it was a filthy man wearing the skin of the dead, his face covered in dripping gore. Kayla shoved the gun in the dead man's face and pulled the trigger. Black blood sprayed all over the door and inside the window as the living man tried to yank her out of the vehicle. Kicking his hands away, Kayla growled as she fought with him, her gun pinned to the door frame as he snarled at her. Carl joined in, shoving the large man away as he tried to pull Kayla from the truck.

"Fuck you!" She sneered slamming her free fist into his face causing the dead skin to fall away. He looked like a normal guy except for the wildness in his eyes and maniacal grin cracking his face in two.

"Duck." Carl exclaimed causing Kayla to huddle down as Carl jammed a knife through the guy's eye. They both watched him fall to the ground as more dead arrived. Kayla slammed the door closed and panted heavily, hers eyes jumping to Carl's. "Thanks." She gasped, watching the dead consume the man now that fresh blood coated his face and chest. Carl sounded just as out of breath as he asked, "what the hell was that?"

"That is a real monster." She replied as she watched the Saviors killing the last of the dead. Javier took out the ones feeding on the guy who'd attacked them, his eyes rising to hers silently asking if they were good. Giving him a thumbs up she sank back into the seat and looked down at her trembling hands. She was covered in gore, her fingers creased with nasty blood.

Carl's door opened and her gun raised to the opening find Negan staring back at her. Lowering it she watched him look them over.

"What the fuck happened? I told you to stay inside." He barked angrily, his gaze falling to the gore covered windows and Kayla's filthy state.

"We did." Carl answered, "one of those things opened the door and tried to take Kayla."

"I'm fine." She replied before Negan could freak out, "he's dead."

"Well lock the fucking door next time." Negan ordered, climbing into the cab, "it smells like some dead fucks balls in here now."

The caravan began to drive again, Kayla rolling over dead bodies and steering around large piles.

"What was that thing?" Carl asked again, his eye jumping from Kayla to Negan. "He was wearing… skin."

"Yeah there's sick fucks out there kid." Negan replied blandly, while reloading his gun. "No worries. I'm gonna wipe the fucking earth of those freaks."


	11. Chapter 11

Kayla stood next to Negan as they greeted the Alexandrians standing in the street. Rick was nowhere to be seen, nor Michonne or Morgan. Carl was tense next to Negan as the man gripped his narrow shoulder and drawled, "Well hello there, Olivia isn't it?"

The woman with horn rimmed glasses, wrung her hands while nodding. Kayla felt bad for her, Negan was intimidating. Even Kayla could relate to the pure anxiousness he produced.

"R-Rick isn't here. He's out looking for your supplies."

Negan grinned slowly, the charm slathered on as he rasped, "That there must be the sexiest fucking sentence I have ever heard, well besides 'Fuck me harder'." He laughed deeply, sliding his eyes down her body and murmuring, "I'll admit it. I'm half hard right now Olivia. You can push me over to full stiffy if you repeat what he's looking for again." Negan cocked an eyebrow as she scowled at him, her arms crossing tightly.

"No?" He asked, his playful eyes going to Kayla's, "if you say it Doll, I'll unload in my pants."

Rolling her eyes she asked, "Are we waiting to see the douche bag or are we dropping him off."

"You actually think I'd drop him off and not take half their shit after he killed my men?" Negan asked, his eyes flicking over the people watching. "Yeah that's right, your fearless leader's little shit came to our home and killed four of my men. Do you all  _know_  what kind of punishment should follow such a fucking uncool thing to do? I guaran-fucking-tee it involves someone taking a load in the face..." he grinned widely at the double entendre.

Kayla watched everyone shift uncomfortably. She was hoping it wouldn't come to that but it was to be expected even if Negan liked Carl, someone would have to pay in his eyes. Nothing was done without repercussions.

"So I think Carl should give me a tour while we wait for his old man." Negan instructed before asking, "Olivia I'd like you to take my men to the pantry."

"We don't have much. We're practically starving."

Negan grinned widely, his head tilting back as he laughed quietly, his eyes going to his men. Looking at Kayla he cocked an eyebrow and mouthed, "Really?" Kayla shrugged, admitting it was an ironic statement coming from such a heavyset woman.

"You can't be serious." Negan chuckled again, resting Lucille on his shoulder as his eyes scanned her again. "I mean...  _really_?"

Olivia turned, her face teary as Negan laughed another time. "Now, now. I'm just bustin' your balls. Show me your pantry sweetheart."

Once inside Kayla saw how short they really were on grocery staples. They would starve within a couple weeks if not rationing strictly.

"Wow you guys fucking suck at scavenging." Negan remarked, looking around before asking, "So where's your secret stash?"

Glaring at him she clenched her jaw and refused to speak. Elbowing her playfully Negan teased, "Calm down Ollie. I'm just fucking with ya. Why are all you pricks so serious?"

Snorting Kayla asked, "Is there a place I can clean up? Preferably not a bucket and rag." She added the last bit with a sneer, the past hinted at with the dig. Negan snickered and tipped his chin towards Rick's house. "We're gonna have a tour by Carl, you can use their bathroom. Right Carl, can't your aunt use your bathroom like a human being?"

Kayla couldn't hold back a chuckle as Negan joined in at prodding them.

"Yeah." Carl muttered, before leaving the supplies room with Negan. Olivia stared at Kayla as she insisted, "You could get him to stop this you know."

"If you believe that then you're delusional besides, why the fuck would I? If it wasn't him it'd be some other fucking assholes and believe me, there are worse monsters out there."

"How the fuck can you say that?" A short haired brunette ask, her brow furrowed. "That man's a murder, a sociopath."

"Yeah but you know what he isn't? A fucking animal. There are people out there that could come in here and skin you fuckers alive. People that'd butcher the men and fuck the woman until they died. You have no idea what kind of sick fucks there are out there. Negan? At least he has a goddamn code. Follow the rules and everything will be peachy."

"You belong together. You're just as crazy as he is."

Laughing Kayla drawled, "never said I wasn't."

* * *

When she joined Negan and Carl they were in the kitchen, Negan playing with the faucet like a kid in a toy store.

"You see this shit doll? They have running fucking water?" He chuckled, shaking his head while turning it on and off again. "This here is paradise, right?"

"Right. Total paradise alright. Especially the dungeon four houses down. It's quaint." She snarked, before asking, "bathroom?"

"There's one at the top of the stairs."

Nodding she headed up the stairs and into the bathroom. Locking the door knowing Negan would have no qualms about wandering in and claiming ignorance. Her clothing was only minimally dirty, her hands and arms stained from wrestling with both creatures, living and dead.

Looking at the shower she contemplated not washing up fully and only spot cleaning but a hot shower sounded way to tempting. Stripping down quickly, Kayla climbed into the hot water and moaned quietly. The showers at Sanctuary were fine but the showerhead above her was pummeling her back deliciously and the actually scalding hot water was awe inspiring.

Once fully washed, soaked and rinsed as well as conditioned, Kayla climbed out pink and clean. Pulling on her clothing made her feel slightly dirty again but it was still better than nothing. Finding a hairbrush she combed out her hair and rebraided the sides like she'd taken to since Georgie taught her. Leaving the bathroom she was walking past a doorway when Kayla found Carl and Negan in a nursery, the tall man stripped of leather bouncing Judith on his arm. Her heart stopped at the sight for multiple reasons, the first being the sight of Negan holding a baby was mind altering. The second being Judith herself. Kayla had never held her niece, never been close enough to even see if she resembled Shane at all.

"Fuck don't you look ravishing." Negan commented with a smirk, Judith babbling in his face. Carl stood nearby, his arms crossed tightly as he watched the man nervously. Kayla understood it but there was no way Negan would hurt the little girl. He was a firm believer that the strong were supposed to protect the weak.

"Thanks." Kayla replied, her eyes not leaving the little girl.

"You haven't met her yet, have you?" Negan asked quietly, his eyes looking her over. "Your dad is a real piece of work kid." He muttered while shaking his head.

Negan walked closer, his hands holding out the child to Kayla. Swallowing thickly she looked at the girl and then at Negan. The man tipped his chin and murmured, "Take your niece, Kay."

Reaching out, Kayla picked her niece up from Negan's grasp. Propping her on her hip she paced away from the two men, her eyes scanning the girl's face. Judith had Lori's eyes and lips, delicate and proper. Her nose was wider than her mom's but nowhere near Shane's boxer nose. Smirking Kayla murmured, "at least you don't have your dad's jug ears."

Looking up she noticed Negan smirking at her, a soft expression in his eyes as he watched her sway around the room.

"Damn doll." He murmured, shaking his head, "you don't even know."

Cocking an eyebrow he only shook his head before saying, "Carl's gonna show me where Rick's bathroom is, I'm gonna shave this shit off my face."

Snorting she teased, "sure you want to do that? Thought it was you mojo."

"Pfft." Negan grabbed his dick graphically and rasped, " _This_  is my goddamn mojo Princess. You would know that if you'd finally moaned yes."

"Go away." She retorted, bouncing Judith around. "We're busy."

* * *

Kayla was standing in the kitchen as Olivia made lemonade per Negan's request and he cooked. She couldn't help but smirk as he wore an apron and tasted spaghetti sauce like some normal fucking dude.

"I feel like I'm in bizarro world." She muttered as he held out a spoon for her to taste. A slow smirk spread across his face as he leered, "c'mere and taste my sauce doll."

Snorting Kayla wandered closer and tasted the tomato sauce, nodding appreciatively, "It's good. You should join the kitchen staff at Sanctuary."

Barking out a laugh, he threw his head back and gleamed at her. "Good one doll, I'll get right on that."

They sat down at the table, all four adults and Judith who was propped in Olivia's lap. Kayla watched the girl bang on the table, her eyes taking in the giant bowl of pasta.

"I agree with Judith. We're done waiting for your father Carl. I don't know where the fuck he is but the girl's hungry." Tucking a napkin in his shirt Negan served them each a healthy portion of pasta.

The dinner was mostly quiet except for Negan moaning excessively loud while verbally patting himself on the back. "Goddamn isn't this the best pasta sauce you've had Carl?"

"Sure." The teen responded while pushing his food around. Negan frowned at the sight, "if you guys are so fucking starving you shouldn't waste the goddamn meal I prepared for you."

Kayla finished her plate and offered, "It was delicious. Thanks."

"See... appreciation for my sauce." Negan exclaimed his hand out towards her as if they missed it. "She appreciates my efforts. It's only polite."

Once they'd finished Olivia cleared the table as Negan stepped out on the porch with Judith and Carl. Kayla pursed her lips and joined them hesitantly. She wasn't too enthused to be gawked at by the Alexandrians. Perching on the railing, Kayla looked at the streets and homes around them. A few residents were standing on their lawns as Saviors searched their homes, their faces grim and annoyed.

"I think I need to move to the suburbs." Negan commented, Judith sleeping against his chest. Kayla couldn't help but stare at the man, his sharp edges smoothed as he rocked the girl, combing the sweaty hair from her temple.

"I have a feeling you'd be on the HOA." she commented with a smirk, "You'd be out measuring people's lawns and issuing tickets."

"Fuck off." Negan chuckled, his eyes amused, "fuck those greedy bastards. Charging me fees to live in my own damn house."

She could see the teasing smirk curl his lips, the man laughing inwardly at the irony.

"Smart ass." She muttered with a chuckle, her eyes going to the front walkway as a preppy looking man strolled up. He carried a bottle of booze. Stopped at the end of the path by Javier, he asked, "I'd like to see him."

"Fuck off."

"Let him by Javie. Well howdy neighbor." Negan drawled as the 20 something strode up, his grin bright and dimples deep. "What brings you over, friend?"

"We haven't been properly introduced." He spoke with a fake grin, his tone artificially friendly. "My names Spencer. I brought scotch."

* * *

Carl took Judith in while the men sat down, Spencer pouring Negan a finger of the expensive liquor. Negan pointed at it with a raised eyebrow, "Doll?"

"No thanks." She answered, without looking over at the two, her eyes watching the residents hanging around.

"I never agreed with you being held captive." Spencer addressed her causing Kayla's gaze to slid to him. She stared at him, her expression flat as he stammered slightly at either her intensity or the intimidating scar tissue she exposed by looking at him.

"I-I mean. I spoke up, voted to just let you go. Rick wouldn't hear it. He won't hear a lot of things."

Kayla asked, "If you disagreed why didn't you just come unlock the door some night, let me go?"

"I..." he trailed off as he tried to find an excuse.

"I'll tell you why Spencer." Kayla offered, sliding to her feet to the floor heavily as she walked closer, "because you're a giant fucking pussy."

Negan barked out a laugh and smacked Spencer on the shoulder, "She calls them like she sees them Spencey, she's rarely wrong either. Which, believe you me, is irritating as fuck."

Kayla snorted, propping her hip on the railing with her arms crossed. "I can't help it that everyone else are stupid fucks."

Negan grinned, rubbing his smooth cheek he sipped his drink with a satisfied groan. "This is some good shit Spencer, the only thing missing is a pool table." he sighed, his hands folded on his stomach, "Nothing better than a good game of 8 ball."

Spencer smiled slowly and informed, "The house across the street has one in the garage."

Negan grinned, his dimples showing, "Oh, Spencer, you may just be my new best friend. Sorry Kayla, he's got a pool table."

"I knew you were into balls." She deadpanned, her eyebrow raised. The man grinned coyly and joked, "Only if their egg smooth and perfectly round sweetheart."

"You're gonna play me right?" He asked, pulling his jacket on but leaving it unzipped.

"I'd hate for you to cry when I kick your ass." Kayla joked, tearing her gaze away from his wide frame leaning against the rail next to her. He smelled like shaving cream and was such a warm presence her skin prickled.

"Right." He scoffed, throwing an arm around her shoulder. "You kick my ass at pool and I'll kiss your fucking toes."

* * *

"I could never do this with Rick." Negan commented, while breaking the pool balls apart. "He'd stand there all pouty, givin' me stinky like his shithead kid."

"That's why I came by. I want to talk to you about Rick." Spencer spoke as Negan sauntered around the table, his shots sinking home.

"Talk then Spencey. I'm all fucking ears."

"I get what you're trying to do here, what you're trying to build. I'm not saying I agree with your methods, but I get it." The younger man talked a good game, his demeanor relaxed but his eyes nervous. "You're building a network, making people contribute to the greater good. But you should now, Rick Grimes isn't a team player."

"Is that so?" Negan quipped, his eyes going to Kayla with a bored expression.

"Rick wasn't always the leader, before him it was my mother. She was a congresswoman and she built this place. My father put these walls up." Spencer detailed, taking his own shot missing it terribly, "then Rick showed up and my dad died, my brother and then my mom."

"So, everything was peachy here for, what years? And then Rick shows up, and suddenly, you're an orphan?" Negan grunted, sinking the eight ball by accident, "that's the saddest story I've heard, " he simpered, motioning to the Saviors standing around with firearms, "it's a good thing Pricky isn't in charge anymore. So no more worries."

"His ego's out of control. He'll find a way to screw things up, to try and do things his way, to take over." Spencer stood back while Negan shot, "he did it to my mom, he'll do it again, to you."

Sighing, Negan laid his pool cue down and grunted, "What the fuck are you proposing?"

"I'm my mother's son, I can be the leader she was, the one this place needs, what you need." Spencer insisted, laying his own cue down.

"So I should put you in charge, what off Rick?" Negan asked, his eyebrows raised as he swaggered around the table.

Spencer shook his head, "no that's not... I don't want to kill him."

"You know, I'm thinking, Spencer." Negan drawled, leaning against the end of the table, "I'm thinking how Rick threatened to kill me, how he clearly hates my guts. But he is out there right now." Negan pointed at the walls, "Gathering shit for me to make sure I don't hurt any of the fine people that live here. He is swallowing his hate and getting shit done. That takes guts."

Wandering even closer to Spencer, Negan's eyes landed on Kayla's momentarily before staring down at Spencer, "And then there's you... ...The guy who waited for Rick to be gone so he could weasel his way over and talk to me into his dirty work, so he could take Rick's place. So I got to ask, if you wanna take over, why not just kill Rick yourself and just take over?"

Spencer shook his head, "I-."

"I think you haven't because Kayla was right about you, you're kinda a pussy." Negan laughed, his boots, scuffing as he circled Spencer. Kayla tensed as Negan taunted Spencer, her gut telling her the smooth talking politician in training was about to meet the brutal Negan, the one only the most unfortunate met.

"The problem with you Spencey is you've got no fucking guts." A quick flick of his wrist and Negan's blade was shoved deep into Spencer's stomach. Dragging it across, the man was eviscerated in the middle of the street. The crowd of Alexandrians' all screamed and gasped, as Spencer cupped his innards to his stomach. Blood and intestines spilled to the ground as Negan chortled, "Oh shit. Well look at that, I've never been so wrong in all my life!"

Stepping away from the puddle, "There they were the whole time. I must apologize for that, my bad."

Spencer fell to the ground as the residents seemed to go into shock. Kayla grimaced at the sight, not agreeing with Negan's methods but understanding his goal. Spencer was breaking the rules, causing disorder and upheaval. One way to get dead was to disrupt the new world order.

Kayla turned her eyes away from the body as it poured blood across the street, her eyes landing on the crowd. The woman in front wore a ball cap, her face horrified at the sight of Spencer. It was only a split second but Kayla saw her hand moving to her lower back. With little hesitation, Kayla tackled the woman as the gun was pulled out and fired. Falling to the ground the woman struggled with Kayla's grip. Screams filled the street as the stray bullet landed in between the eyes of the observing crowd, Olivia falling dead to the ground next to Carl.

Negan was shouting, his towering frame above them, yelling out profanity while Kayla held her blade to the woman's neck. Pressing her into the concrete Kayla glanced over her shoulder at Negan. His eyes were livid, his body vibrating angrily.

"Shit! What the shit?! Shit! You just.. You tried to kill me?" he shouted loudly, pointing Lucille into the Hispanic woman's face. "You little bitch."

She struggled with Kayla, her hands clawing at her arms until Negan growled, "Enough." He snarled, pulling Kayla away only to step on the woman's chest, pinning her firmly to the road. Holding up the casing he growled, "This little bad boy made from scratch? Look at those crimps. This was homemade. You may be stupid, darlin', but you showed some real ingenuity here."

"Do you have any idea what a world of shit you're in? The only thing stopping me from destroying you is my need to know who made this bullet."

Rick came running up, his eyes wide as he took in the carnage of Spencer. "We had an agreement."

"Rick! Look, everybody, it's Rick." Negan exclaimed, pointing Lucille at him, "Ah, your people are making me lose my voice doin' all this yelling. Rick how about a "thank you"? I mean, look, I know we started this relationship with me beating the holy shit out of your friends, and because of that, we're never gonna sit around and braid each other's hair or share our deepest, darkest secrets, but how about a little credit? I just bent over backwards to show you how reasonable I am."

Wandering around a big cirle he pointed a gloved finger at Carl who stood next to Olivia's dead body. "Your kid, he hid in one of my trucks and machine-gunned a bunch of my men down, and I brought him home, safe and sound, and I fed him spaghetti."

Rick's eyes were large as he stared at a guilty looking Carl. His eyes went to Kayla and she saw him look over her knewly scarred face, the lines creasing her cheek brutally.

"Another one of your people, well, he wanted me to kill you and put him in charge. I took him out for you. And another one, here, she shot Olivia while trying to kill me just now, so I gave you one less mouth to feed. And by looking at her, that mouth did some major damage."

Patting Rick heavily on the back, "You're welcome."

Rick kept his face flat as he growled, "Your shit's waiting for you at the gate. Just go."

"Sure thing, Rick right after I find the guy or gal that made this bullet.

"I did." The Hispanic woman snapped.

"Well excuse the fuck out of me but I don't believe that shit." Negan growled, his eyes scanning the crowd. Yanking her upright, he pushed he to her knees and asked, "Anyone else want to confess? I want to know who fucking made this or I'm busting this bitches face off."

Kayla watched as the shorthaired brunette stepped forward, "It was me… I did it."

"Negative." Negan snapped, pointing Lucille at the kneeling woman's head. The barbs caught on her cheek, blood trickling down as he sneered, "Five… four… three.."

"Me." a voice cracked, the man with a mullet cried, "Me… I did it."

"I don't think I believe you." Negan sneered, wandering closer to the man, his eyes scanning him. "No one with a haircut so fucking stupid could be smart enough to make this shit."

"It required one spent casing, one four-holed turret reloader, powder, one funnel for the powder-."

"Shut up." Negan snapped, "I believe you."

Wrapping an arm around the man's shoulders Negan smiled widely, "I'm gonna be relieving you of your bullet maker, Rick, that and whatever you left for me at the front gate. And however much you scavenged, it's not good enough, because you're still in a serious, serious hole after today. Let's move out!"

Negan moved to leave but Kayla spoke, "Wait."

Turning he cocked an eyebrow and she tipped her chin to the house, "One more minute… please."

Nodding he motioned to her, "Go on."

Rick exclaimed, his hand lunging out to grab her wrist. "No."

"Eh, eh, eh." Negan tsked, yanking Rick away by the scruff of his neck. "Kayla can see the girl if she wants Pricky. Fuck I have half a mind to let her take the little angel."

"No. You can't-."

"Shut up." Negan snapped, his expression steely, "I can do what the fuck ever I want too. Go on now doll, take your time."

Climbing the stairs, Kayla found herself in Judith's nursery. The girl bouncing in her crib while knocking her mobile around. Smiling softly, Kayla sided up to the crib, her hand stroking the hair from her deep brown eyes. "Hey there." She murmured, picking the girl up to balance on her hip. "It's been good to meet you Jude." She spoke while stroking her back. "Your daddy would've loved to meet you." Kayla whispered against the baby's temple, her lips brushing her soft locks.

Judith curled against her, the girl's head heavy with sleep.

"I'm sorry you'll never meet him." Her voiced cracked, her eyes burning so painfully tears fell with no restraint. "He woulda kept you so damn safe… he'd a loved ya something fierce."

Sniffing Kayla looked out the window at Rick kneeling in front of Javier.

"I'm sorry you won't know me either sweet girl. It's the way it's got to be." Kissing her forehead as she clutched her jacket. "I'll do my best to keep you safe anyways."

Moving to the crib, Kayla laid Judith down, the girl sleeping deeply. Tucking her in, Kayla kissed her forehead firmly. "Bye baby girl."

Wiping her face Kayla turned around to find Negan standing just inside the door, his expression furrowed with sympathy. Glaring at the floor she set her jaw as the deep chasm in her chest felt far to exposed. Negan had seen her at some of her worst times but in that moment, she felt as if he was viewing her insides.

His hand touched her elbow as he rasped, "you good to go?"

Clearing her throat, Kayla nodded without making eye contact. Letting her exit first, Negan followed with his hand gently grazing her lower back. The gesture felt far too intimate for Kayla's emotional state. Speeding up she exited the home and descended the stairs, her sights set on Rick.

Stalking up she pointed angrily at him. "You keep her safe or my face will be the last thing you see." The man gawked at her as she turned on her heel and strode towards their vehicles.

* * *

Kayla and Negan were driving the smaller vehicle on their route home. They weren't speaking as they rumbled along, Kayla resting her face against the window as the woods shot by. She could feel Negan's gaze fall on her profile numerous times but she let herself stew. The day was a rollercoaster, from watching Creep leave to dodging bullets from Carl. It all ended with saying both hello and goodbye to her niece. Kayla wasn't delusional, she would never have a relationship with the girl. With the tensions between Negan and Alexandria, there was no way they'd have more than passing glances at each other.

* * *

The squeak of the terrible brakes on the supply truck woke her at some point later. The harsh squealing and grinding signaling a significant problem with the truck's wheels or axle.

"Fuck!" Negan shouted as the large truck behind them came careening into their tailgate. The truck in front of them had hit a roll of barbwire causing Negan to stop suddenly. Kayla held on as the large truck behind them demolished the trunk and rear seat, the suv sliding sideways for hundreds of yard until it slammed into a tree. Gasping for air Kayla realized her face was inches from the shredded tree bark, broken glass covered her and her leg was pinned.

"Ow fuck." She grunted, pulling on her leg only to whimper in pain.

"Godfuckingdamnit." Negan snarled, his large frame shifting in the now cramped space. "Kay. Kay look at me."

Turning her head slightly she realized her vision was blurred and painful. Blood dripped into her eye as her head swayed.

"Shit, Kay talk to me."

"Mmm'stuck." She slurred, her head lolling as a wave of dizziness hit her like a rip tide. It pulled her and she swayed with it, completely out of control.

"Kay. Fuck. Kay focus on me." Negan growled, "hey fuckers get down here you fucks!" He shouted, while the sound of scratching metal and cracking glass had her blinking rapidly.

Kayla tried to focus on what was happening, her eyes rolling around to find something to keep her steady. Her chest felt heavy and every breath felt like a struggle.

"Jesus. Come the fuck on. I will bash your fucking balls into you throat if you don't get her out of this fucking shit. FUCK!" Negan was going ballistic, his voice becoming hoarse by the end. There was a horrendous scraping sound and then the pressure on her chest released. She sucked in a deep breath, her body realizing it was deprived of oxygen.

"Shit. That's it Kay, breathe. Breathe sweetheart."

Kayla shifted her leg and whimpered again as pain shot through her calf. "Leg's fucked." She muttered through clenched teeth. There was another grinding of metal as well as gunshots nearby.

"We gotta go Boss."

"We aren't leaving until she's out. You fucking walk away and I'll hunt you down and rip your dick off through your throat."

A tremendous pain shot through her leg making her howl in pain, her eyes overflowing with tears.

"Alright. We got her. Come on, come on."

"Go. Go. Open it!"

She groaned as she was loaded like a piece of luggage, the tires peeling out while gunshots rang out and moans surrounded them. Her heart was racing knowing they were in terrible danger and she had no way of protecting herself.

"Negan." She choked out her eyes too unfocused to find a familiar face. "N-negan."

A palm gripped her face and she finally found an anchor. Negan was leaning over her, his large hand holding her jaw while looking over her face.

"Can you see me?"

"Yeah... Now. Was dizzy." She slurred, her mouth moving in odds ways.

"Fuck." He hissed, "Hey. Can a concussion make her sound drunk?"

"Yeah. My brother had one. He played football. It was fucked. It lasted a couple days."

"Jesus."

Kayla watched as Negan picked glass out of her hair and seemed to be wiping blood away. His face was scraped up, a gash cutting through his eyebrow.

"You're bleeding." She rasped, her hand turning his face to see the extent. Negan smacked her hand away, "I'm fine. Stop moving."

Kayla nodded and relaxed into the lumpy truck bed, her body aching all over. At some point she fell asleep only to awake to shouting and the sound of the Sanctuary gates opening.

"We're home." Negan murmured as her body was removed from the large vehicle. A gasping scream ripped out of her throat when her leg shifted.

"Hold her fucking steady, Dipshit." Negan shouted, as whatever they were transporting her on shuffled her injured limb. The hallways leading to the medical office flew by but eventually Kayla blacked out. Shock was setting in and the pain emanating from her leg and chest was too much for her to handle.

* * *

When she peeled open her eyes, Kayla saw she was lying in Negan's bedroom. It was surprising and more than a little disconcerting when she factored in her state of undress. Shifting her body caused an uncontainable groan, pain shattered outward from her chest and leg.

"Easy." Negan's rough voice spoke from her side, his body stretched out on the sofa in his room. The man climbed to his feet, feet that Kayla couldn't help but notice were bare. He wore cotton lounge pants and a well worn t-shirt. She had never seen him so relaxed looking and that was why she blurted, "am I dreaming?"

"What?" He asked with a chuckle, "no you're not dreaming. Why do you say that?"

"You're wearing pjs." She remarked as he handed her a glass of water. Negan snorted, "I don't sleep in leather."

Reaching out she clutched the glass in a shaky hand, the higher she tried to lift it, the more her arm shook, water splashing all over the sheets.

"Shit. Sorry." She grunted while trying to hold it with both hands. Negan scooped it up as it almost slid from her fragile grasp, his mouth turning into a frown.

"Let me help you." He murmured as he raised it to her lips. "Slow." He ordered as she tried to gulp down as much as she could.

"M'thirsty." She muttered as he took it away.

"Too fucking bad. I'm not cleaning up vomit."

Relaxing back into her pillow she asked, "what's wrong with me?"

"Besides being a stubborn, crazy bitch?" He joked, his grin making her roll her eyes. "A concussion. Fractured leg, you've got a boot thing. Bruised ribs and sternum. Cuts but no stitches. You were really fucking lucky."

"Feels worse than it looks." She choked out, her voice rough from sleep.

"I don't fucking doubt it. The damn car was wrapped all around you." He described, shaking his head and looking away. "I wasn't sure we were going to be able to get you out."

"Thank you."

"Don't have too."

"Still am."

"I'll take a reward blow job?" Negan offered, his eyebrow raised as he smirked.

"No." she rasped, with a slight shake of the head.

"A reward tittie fuck?"

Rolling her bruised eyes she replied dryly, "No. I don't have enough tits to do that anyways."

"I'll make it work." He assured with a smirk making her laugh quietly. Kayla offered, "How about when I'm not broken, I'll finally play pool with you."

"Really?"

"Yes but you can't get mad when I kick your ass."

"Pfft that won't be happening sweetheart." He laughed, crossing his arms as she smiled softly.

"Never know. Maybe I don't play because I was once a pool shark who grew cold and despondent for the game. Maybe I quit because I lost more than just my cash at the big pool tournament."

"Jesus Christ." He scoffed, "Did you just claim that's the plot synopsis to The Hustler was your life story?"

Kayla chuckled as loudly as bruised ribs allowed and confessed, "It was a favorite of Shane's."

Negan snorted and plopped down on the bed next to her, his body taking up more than half the bed. She shifted, burrowing further under the covers so only her face poked out. Smirking at her Negan rolled on his side, his head resting on his bicep.

"Are you hurting?"

"Little." She replied with a huge yawn, "I'll be ok."

"Just let me know when it's too much. We have stuff."

They were silent for quite awhile, Kayla dozing while Negan watched. She wasn't uncomfortable with it, the man stared a lot already but she couldn't help but ask why. "What?" She mumbled her sleepy eyes.

"I almost... We almost lost you." He spoke while looking at the ceiling, his eyes dropping to her for a moment before looking away.

"I'm sorry."

"No. I'm sorry. That shouldn't have happened."

"Shit happens."

"Still. We were all traveling to close together and we didn't have the gear to help in case of a fucking accident. Fucking stupid." He explained, his mind obviously making plans to remedy their mistakes. "It won't happen again."

Kayla nodded sleepily, her eyes drooping only to pop open, "why am I in here and not my room?"

"You've got a concussion and I don't trust anyone to do their fucking jobs right. I prefer you alive."

Humming in response she murmured, "thanks Negan."

"You're fucking welcome, now shut the fuck up already and sleep." He rasped, his arm thrown over his eyes.

* * *

"Ouch goddamnit. Stop touching me." Kayla snapped as Negan's wife Meredith tried to help dress her. "I can dress my fucking self."

"Negan said-"

"I don't give a goddamn fuck. Touch me again and I'm breaking your face."

"Jesus Christ." Negan hollered, "leave her be. I said help if she needed it."

"I was just trying to help." She whimpered in a completely exaggerated way

"Well go get fucked instead!" Kayla shouted, her temper broiling as the pain from her leg increased. She'd refused pain pills all morning and it was becoming intolerable but she didn't want to be drugged. It happened before and it wasn't happening again.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?" Negan barked, as Meredith ran out of the room.

"I want everyone to stop touching me and I want to go to my room." She growled, yanking a shoe on her bare foot, the injured one, in a cast boot.

"No. You're going to tell me why you're being such a cunt or I'm tying you down until you do."

Kayla ground her teeth, the bone inside her leg feeling as if it were on fire while being rolled in broken glass. The barest brush of pressure on the limb had Kayla sweating and swallowing down whimpers.

Negan crouched in front of her as he saw the state of her shaking and clammy form. "You look like shit., " he growled before hollering, "Hey Mer, get the doctor."

"No!" She shouted from the other room, "she doesn't deserve help."

"I swear to Christ if you don't get him here in five minutes you're back on your fucking ass in an outpost." He snarled. Kayla was clenching her sweaty hands trying to keep the shakes from showing.

"Kay. Fucking talk to me."

"M'fine. I want to go to my room." She ground out, her teeth clench as a particularly painful stab ran through her calf. "fuck." She groaned, her hands gripping her knee as if trying to keep the pain from traveling any further.

"You're in pain. When was your last pill?"

Shaking her head she muttered, "yesterday."

"What?! Jesus no wonder you're fucking hurting." Negan exclaimed, grabbing the bottle as the doctor came in.

"I don't want them." She growled as he tried thrusting two white pills at her. The doctor got his tools out and began checking her vitals. His eyes concerned.

"Your heart rate is too high and blood pressure is through the roof." He muttered, while taking her temperature. "When was your last pill."

"She said yesterday."

"Why don't you want them? Is this a addiction thing?"

Shaking her head she shivered through another wave of pain. "I just don't want them."

"You need them to heal. You're body is exerting energy that it needs to heal by alerting you to an injury you already know about. You need to relax to heal."

Clenching her teeth and wringing her hands she muttered, "I don't want to be out of it. Only enough to take the edge off."

"Alright. We can manage that." The doctor replied, taking the bottle of pills before cutting them down. "You'll take a quarter of a pill first, if it doesn't do the job, take another quarter and so on."

Nodding she popped the shard of pill and then asked, "can I go to my room now."

"I don't trust you to take your pills. You're staying here." Negan spoke from the other side of the room, his arms crossed. She could see anger reverberating off the man as he contemplated her reasons for refusing medicine.

"I'll take them."

"Shut up. You done doc?" He asked before motioning to the door giving the man little room to argue.

Once alone Negan stared at her with piercing eyes. "You don't trust you're safe with me while on pain medicine?"

Kayla chewed her lip anxiously and shrugged, "it's not really about you."

"What's it about then?"

"I just don't like it okay?"

"No not ok. What's it fucking about?"

Biting her lip she let her mind slip to the time she had been injured while traveling with her previous group. Her head flinched as the foggy memories of coming to, only to find herself being taken advantage of.

"What happened?" Negan rasped, his tone exposing the fact he seemed to already know. Glancing at him for a long moment she finally murmured, "I got hurt when I was traveling with two marines... I'm not sure if I agreed... I had been taking pills for the injury and... "

She trailed off and looked away in order to continue, "I don't remember much but enough to know it was both of them."

"Jesus." Negan's voice was quiet, the hoarseness revealing the emotional impact of the confession.

"I uh... confronted them and they both said I agreed and I was too fucked up to really argue." She sighed deeply and looked back at Negan, "I don't want to make a decision like that while under the influence."

"First off, fuck them. Even if you said yes you weren't in your right fucking mind to give consent. They fucking  _raped_  you." He growled, his eyes burning with rage. "Second there is no, and I mean abso-fucking-lutely no goddamn way I'd ever let someone too fucked up to know what they were doing agree to something like that. It will never happen again to you. Ever." His voice near the end was colder than she had ever heard. It was the type of tone that struck fear into the men who had come across Negan.

She had never felt as safe as she did in that very moment. Kayla knew without a doubt the man standing before her with his well-worn leather jacket and bruised face wouldn't let anything happen to her if he had a chance to stop it.

"Is the pill helping?" He asked as the silence stretched, his voice hoarse but gentle. Looking up from her lap, Kayla nodded, "a little."

"Do you want another?"

Chewing her lip she nodded as she finally admitted to herself that the pain was unbearable. Negan opened the bottle and scraped out another chip of medicine. Taking it with a gulp of water Kayla shifted to lay down, her breath catching as the boot hit the edge of the bed.

"Hold on." He muttered, holding her leg up gently. Placing a pillow under her foot he got it elevated safely.

"Thanks." She murmured, her body collapsing into the mattress.

"Stop." He muttered, "just fucking take care of yourself so I don't have to do this shit."

"You love it," she claimed, with a smirk.

"Oh yeah. My dream job is being a fucking nurse to a grouchy bitch."

"I knew it." She chuckled as the pill kicked in.

"Shut up and sleep. When you wake up, you're showering. You're stinking up my bed."

"Sorry." She mumbled looking down at her sweaty clothes.

"I'm fucking with you. But seriously. Bath time." He smirked before leaving the room and closing the door.


	12. Chapter 12

"Tell me something." Kayla spoke softly while watching Negan read next to her, the paper lists of inventory as well as requests for equipment were spread out on his lap. His eyes slid to her as he replied, "you look hot as fuck in my bed."

"Not about me jackass." She muttered while blushing slightly, rolling to her side, she looked up at him and asked, "what'd you do before all this shit?"

Snorting he shook his head, "Nope. I don't talk about that shit. It's over and point-fucking-less."

"Not pointless." Kayla murmured, "it's who you are."

"Whatever doll." Negan huffed, his body no longer relaxed. "Why do you wanna know?"

The question rattled around in her head as the answer bubbled up in her chest. She knew why she wanted to know, felt it in her bones but she also knew it was more than a little dangerous. Kayla wanted to know because she cared, not necessarily about his past but Negan himself. She cared for the enigma of a man. Telling him wasn't exactly advised though. Once she admitted it, there was no going back.

"Gonna answer me?"

"Nevermind." She muttered, rolling to her back with a groan as her leg shifted.

"Fine, Fuck. I was a gym teacher and coached baseball." He spoke after watching her become comfortable again. Glancing at him Kayla confessed with a smirk, "I wouldn't have ditched gym so much if you were my teacher."

Snorting he grinned slyly and drawled, "if you were in my class I might've turned into one of those sick fucks who bangs his students."

Laughing she suggested, "ask me something."

"Tit for tat huh?" Negan asked, tossing his paperwork aside while stretching out fully, his arms behind his head. "Alright. I'll play. What were you doing when all this shit went down?"

"I was at a training seminar in Florida."

"For the bank?"

"Yeah. It was boring as hell until this fucker wandered into the hall and began biting people." She said with a dry chuckle. "Had no idea what the hell was happening but the chick next to me was just... mauled."

Negan was staring at her as she remembered the first biter attack she saw.

"She'd been telling me about her kid, four or five I think. Showed me a picture of this little blonde girl in a ballet get up, big blue eyes and a huge smile with no front teeth. Mary... no Molly... The doors slammed open and this deadfuck just grabbed her. She was looking at me, just... drowning in blood as he took her throat out and all I could think was how much her daughter looked like her." Shaking her head Kayla murmured, "that was the first time I had ever really been terrified. I mean I grew up scared of shit but that... it was like a glimpse into hell."

Negan blew out a breath as if reliving the moment with her and rasped, "Jesus."

"Yeah. One foot over and it would've been me and I wouldn't have even thought to fight back at that point. I was fucking clueless." Shuddering slightly she continued, "I ran to my room, talked to my brother and he filled me in. Ended up at a military base, which I'm sure you know, wasn't any safer than out there."

Nodding he asked, "did it happen there?"

Raising an eyebrow she waited for clarification but the scowl he had informed her. "After. The place imploded and I was running with a couple soldiers. Happened a few months later."

"Pricks." He growled, his eyes drilling into space across the room. Kayla sighed, "look it was a long time ago and I don't even remember most of it."

"That doesn't fucking change the fact they raped you."

"Stop saying  _they raped you_ , like I need to be reminded, " She growled, sitting up slightly. "I get it. I lived it, I fucking know but it's over with. I grew from it."

"How?"

"Well I sure as fuck didn't trust them again."

"You stayed with them?" He asked with a furrowed brow. Kayla shrugged, "it wasn't like I had much choice at the time. I was far less capable then, I could shoot and had a bunch of biter kills under my belt but knowing how to survive? Hell no. I learned as much as I could from them, they knew shit. They'd been trained. I never let my guard down. I slept short bursts with a knife in my hand."

"What happened to them?" He asked, "you kill em?"

"Didn't have too. They'd been raiding camps. I left to scavenge a neighborhood and when I got back they'd been murdered. Horribly. I was lucky I wasn't there because who knows what the sick fucks would've done to me. After that I just moved constantly. I was with a few different groups, passing through different areas but nothing ever stuck. Everyone died."

"How'd you end up in Alexandria?"

"I think this tit for tat is skewed in your favor."

"Usually is doll."

Laughing softly as he grinned boyishly, she confessed, "I saw these two fucks hiking through the woods. They had fresh clothes and full packs. Thought I'd wait till evening and take them by surprise."

"You were gonna rob them?" Negan responded with a grin, siting up on an elbow as if the story was just getting better. Nodding Kayla replied, "I did rob them but got caught about half mile from them. Dixon ran me down."

"Daryl?" He laughed, "that fucker caught you?"

"Yeah. Wasn't very gentle about it either but I got a few hits in. Didn't make it easy."

"Your turn." He spoke after a minute of reflection.

"Did you have a family? A wife?"

Negan's face tensed, looking away from her as he seemed to think about speaking. Kayla watched him rub his thumb along the underside of his ring finger, a tick that answered her question before he even spoke. "I was married."

"Biters?"

"Cancer." He rasped, his fist clenching slightly, "found out real quick that everyone comes back."

"Jesus. It happened during this shit?"

"Yeah. Very beginning." He chewed his lip with dark eyes pinned to Lucille leaning in an arm chair. Kayla followed his gaze and whispered, "Lucille?"

Negan's dark eyes slid to hers and he nodded once before muttering, "you think I'm a crazy fuck for naming her that?"

"No." She replied before even thinking about it. Kayla couldn't imagine having someone, loving someone and losing them. Especially as the world was collapsing in on itself. The situation clarified some of Negan's eccentricities, even his current marital status seemed to be explained. Negan had lost and lost hard, he'd been broken just like every other survivor of the apocalypse.

"Don't lie." He spoke with a laugh, his down mood shoved back in its box. Rolling her eyes she replied, "I didn't say I didn't think you were crazy, just not because of that."

A grin slid across his face as he peered over at her. "I ever tell you how much I like you?"

"I figured you must if you're letting me sleep in your bed."

"No one else sleeps in here."

"Yeah, yeah I get it. You fuck a lot."

"Obviously." He drawled, "but that's not what I meant. I don't trust anyone else to sleep in here with me."

"Oh." She murmured, her nervous eyes scanning him for a hint of what that exactly meant.

Clearing his throat awkwardly, Negan sneered playfully, "Yeah so consider yourself fucking lucky to be camping out in here."

Rolling her eyes she laid back into her pillows contemplating what it meant to be given such an out of the ordinary privilege.

"Were you always so damn accident prone?"

Snorting Kayla peered over at him as he smiled with teasing eyes. "I wasn't driving the damn truck now was I?

"No but out of everyone in the accident, you're the one who got hurt the most."

"So I have bad luck." She replied before adding, "Shane used to call me clumsy Kayla."

"Seems about right." Negan quipped, "tell me about him."

"About Shane? Jesus where do I start." She muttered, pushing hair from her forehead. "He was a jackass mostly," Kayla chuckled, while picturing her brother, "stubborn, loud, inappropriate, a total man slut and the best brother anyone could ever ask for." She smiled sadly, "he raised me after our mom died."

"No dad?"

"Just an angry drunk." She replied with a shrug, after everything she'd seen and been through since the world ended, a slightly violent and mostly mean drunk father was far from her worst life experiences. "Shane was a cop. He liked helping people but was also kind of a bully. Total hothead. We both have the Walsh fuse. Short and already burning."

Snorting Negan folded his hands on his stomach as he asked, "you look alike?"

"Complexion and hair but he looked just like our dad. He hated it. I think it's why he acted like a total whore. Try to prove it to himself that he was good looking despite looking like our asshole dad."

"You look like your mom then?"

"I don't remember her much. I guess in pictures we look alike. She was half Italian and my dad was Irish, hence the angry drunk. They were complete opposites from what Shane used to tell me. He said dad was normal before she died, said he was still a drunk but never laid a hand on him til after."

"He lay a hand on you?" Negan asked, his eyes narrowed.

"Yeah. Few split lips and a broken wrist once. After that Shane and I started spending most our time at the Grimes house. Rick's parents made sure I ate, got to school. Mrs Grimes used to help tame my wild ass hair." Snorting Kayla smiled at the thought of the petite woman. "I hope they went quietly."

Negan was silent until he quietly confessed, "seeing you with the kid was nice."

"Carl?" Kayla asked despite knowing what he was getting to. She wasn't too sure she could speak about Judith without get upset. Negan rolled his eyes and muttered, "don't play stupid."

"I don't want to talk about Judith."

"Why the fuck not?" Negan asked, moving to his side to look at her closer.

"Because it fucking hurts." She replied her voice cracking, "and nothing's gonna change so there's no reason to dwell. She's where she's gotta be."

"It doesn't have to be that way. We could take her."

"No." She spoke firmly, "don't even think about it."

"Why?"

"Because it wouldn't be about me knowing my niece, it would be about you fucking with Rick."

"I wouldn't be doing it for that reason but it would be an added benefit." He spoke with a coy smirk, rolling his shoulder. "Don't fucking judge me. That guy gets on my last nerve. He's lucky I haven't clubbed him to death really."

"Judith needs her family. Rick may not be her biological dad but he is who she knows. He's her dad whether I like it or not. He's kept her alive in this world... that says something."

"It says he's gonna be a pain in my ass for a long time."

"Tough titties." She snarked making him laugh. The tension broke and he relaxed into his pillow with a chuckle.

"Tough titties," he mocked in a high pitch voice, waving his hands around, "you've been hanging out with me too long."

"Oh yeah. Who's fault is that?" She deadpanned, her eyes glimmering.

"Don't pretend you don't like it. We have fun, I make you laugh." Negan spoke through a grin, his shoulder almost pressing against hers in the middle of the bed. She could feel his elbow brushing against her ribs, the heat drawing her like a magnet.

"That is true," she murmured while looking at the ceiling.

Kayla could feel Negan glancing at her, his penetrating eyes flitting to her every few seconds. In a strange way she felt as if she actually had some kind of control over the seemingly uncontrollable man. There was something in the way he looked at her that she had never received by anyone nor did it seem that he ever gave to anyone else. Kayla had never felt such a kinetic energy before, an almost tactile hum reverberating between them. She was addicted to the sensation and from what she could tell, Negan was a junkie too. It gave her power over him but vice versus for him also.

"So-" Negan started, clearing his throat awkwardly, his eyes narrowing as if questioning his choice of speaking his thoughts out loud. Kayla raised an eyebrow and smirked at him, his lips twitching in response. He laughed gruffly and slid the bravado back on. "Do you want to go back to Alexandria? I mean.. I could just tell them you're fucking living there. They won't be able to do shit and I mean... I guess you could keep a fucking eye on all their shenanigans."

Kayla's brow furrowed as she thought about the question and her automatic reaction being a resounding 'no'. Shaking her head Kayla spoke honestly, "No. I don't belong there."

Negan's fingers were drumming on his stomach in thought and she could see the wheels turning inside his handsome head.

'Don't ask,' she chanted inwardly but to no avail, the man asked, "So you belong with me then?" His eyes were playful but with a nervous edge framing them. Negan was worried about her response. Hell Kayla was worried about her response.

"I... Uh. I don't belong anywhere else." She spoke cryptically while realizing she actually did feel like she belonged, not in Sanctuary because Kayla preferred a less populated shelter, but she belonged alongside Negan. It was odd and in a way felt wrong. Yet there she was, not hating it.

Negan chuckled, his eyes gleaming, "You are a master of denial. Anyone ever tell you that?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." She replied with a grin that physically hurt. Negan reciprocated with an equally bright smile and laughed until he had tears in his eyes. Kayla laughed quietly before biting her lip to contain it.

"Fucking Christ." He panted a minute later, "I think I broke a fucking rib laughing so goddamn hard."

Looking at her while shaking his head Negan murmured, "you're something fucking else Kay."

Blushing slightly Kayla curled onto her side and pulled the blanket over her shoulder as she dosed slightly.

"Sherry's gonna help you wash up soon." Negan said a few minutes later. Kayla's eyebrows shot up and she exclaimed, "no way."

"You can't do it on your own. You're all fucked up."

"I'll be fine. Sherry isn't washing me."

"Why not, she's a chick, she'll do a good job."

"Because I basically got her husband killed Negan!" Kayla practically shouted, "she's more likely to fucking drown me than wash me."

Negan glared at her sitting up to tower over her prone position. "First fucking off, I'm her goddamn husband."

Kayla rolled her eyes which only infuriated the man more, "don't roll your fucking eyes at me, doll. She's married to me, not him and she'll do as I say. Secondly, that fuck got himself killed. You didn't kill him, he did that when he decided to attack a woman in the shower like some no-nut pussy."

Sighing Kayla rubbed her face and spoke slowly, "it doesn't matter. Sherry isn't washing me. I'm doing it on my own or not at all. I don't give a fuck if I smell like a goddamn garbage can."

"I swear to Christ." He growled, standing up and marching into his bathroom. Kayla heard the water turn on as the shower door slammed open. A few thumps as well as Negan's muttered curses before he stormed back into the bedroom. She tried to get away but was thrown over his shoulder with no regard to her bruised body.

"Ow fuck!" She groaned, "watch it asshole."

A painful smack landed on her ass as he laughed loudly. "Shut up."

"I can't believe you." She growled, pounding on his back as he carried her into the bathroom.

Dropping her onto the counter, Negan began yanking off her sweatpants before she could fight back.

"Are you fucking crazy?" She snapped, slapping his hands away only to end up in a tank top and underwear.

"Cute panties." He commented on her black boyshorts while stripping off his shirt. She got sight of his tattoos for the first time and defined musculature that had Kayla's eyes widening as he was suddenly in his underwear and shoving her broken leg into a plastic bag.

"The hell?" She asked as he taped the top closed to prevent water from seeping in.

"Gotta keep your foot dry. The doc will look it over and he can clean your stank ass foot."

"You just happen to have that shit in here?"

"I was preparing for you to wash up. I thought it'd be Sherry but now I get to see you naked and wet. Hot damn."

"No." She growled, "I can do it. Just get me in there."

"No." He replied picking her up and carrying her into the large stall. "This is your punishment for being a little whiny bitch."

Growling she stood on one foot as he put her down. With one hand holding her steady, Negan grabbed the shampoo. Water soaked her tank top and underwear, the fabric sticking to her slick skin. Negan's eyes were taking in the sight as he tilted her head back, soaking her dark locks.

"You're gonna fucking kill me." He growled as she let the water hit her face. "Fucking hotter than shit. All the blood in my body is in my dick. I may pass out myself princess."

"I hate that nickname." She muttered, ignoring the statement and his heated stare.

"Tough titties." He repeated with a sparkling grin before turning her around, his fingers diving into her thick hair. Kayla groaned as the soap was massaged into her scalp with strong fingers.

"Good?" Negan's voice rasped from behind her, the heat from the shower not covering the warmth of his body.

"Fuck." She moaned as his dug into her neck and shoulders while suds rinsed from her hair.

Laughing gruffly Negan teased, "I'm not even touching the good parts yet doll."

"Shut up." She muttered, her voice breathy as his hands worked conditioner into her hair. "I'm washing the rest of me."

"Nope. I'm gonna enjoy this."

"I'm saying no, Negan." She growled, her back tensing as he started soaping her arms and shoulders.

"Just relax. You can do the goods. Jesus you think I'd force you to do anything?"

"You're forcing me right now asswipe!" She shouted making the man behind her chuckle loudly. She couldn't help but smile at the appealing sound of his laugh echoing in the tiled room. It was deep and rich, the sound soothing her and causing her shoulders to drop the tension.

"Calm your tits." He spoke with a grin. "I'm keeping my hands in the safe zones but I gotta take this shirt off. It's filthy."

Growling lowly, Kayla braced a hand on the wall while pulling the wet cloth up. Flinching slightly as Negan's hands gripped her bare waist before helping pull her shirt off. The cloth hit the floor with a wet slap as Kayla kept her blushing face away from his view.

"Fuck, you're all bruised up doll." His voice was low and rough, his fingers grazing the deep bruising on her ribs from the accident. "Didn't know you had more burns." He commented after a few moments on silence. Kayla clenched her teeth as strong fingers began soaping up her back and ribs.

"Yeah. I'll take a broken bone to burns any day of the week." She spoke while staring at the tile wall. "Had to pick out melted clothing out of them. Took months to grow back."

"Damn." He muttered, his hands rinsing the bubbles off her shoulders, back and hips. "Want me to do your front? I have a lot of experience handling titties." He asked, the grin evident in his tone. Kayla snorted, holding a hand over her shoulder for the bar of soap.

"Just keep me upright," she muttered, her eyes falling shut as Negan held her bare waist. The heat from his large palms and the subtle brush of his thumbs along her spine was making her breathing shallow and fast.

"You're so damn tiny." He rasped, his tantalizing fingers slowly curling into her abdomen.

Moving quickly she washed her front before muttering, "just..."

"Just what?" He murmured into her neck, his voice sounding as labored as hers.

"Take them off just don't be a fucking pervert."

A chuckle followed by his hands lowering the soaked underwear had Kayla freezing solid.

"Go on." He encouraged, his hands holding her waist again. "I'll be a good boy."

"There's a first time for everything I guess." She muttered causing him to snicker behind her.

"Just don't step back or you're gonna feel just how hard this is for me."

Snorting she peeked over her shoulder at him, her bangs sticking to her face. "Oh yeah staring at my ass is a hard job."

"No. Staring at your ass and not diving face first into it, is the hard part princess." He replied with a huge grin, his eyes dropping to her naked backside. Blushing deeply, Kayla turned away and finished washing herself before she declared, "I'm done."

"Damn. That mean we gotta get out because holding a naked, wet Kayla is probably my favorite pastime now."

"Well all good things must come to an end." She replied, her eyes dropping shut as he smoothed a hand up her spine to brush the hair off her shoulder.

"They don't have too." He whispered, his body so close she could almost feel his skin pressed into hers.

"Negan." She murmured, her voice almost pleading.

"I know. I know." He muttered, switching the water off and grabbing a towel over the shower door. Wrapping her in the giant towel, Negan got her situated on the toilet seat. "I'll let you dry off, just don't fall on your ass. Call me when you're done and I'll help you get dressed."

Nodding she kept her eyes away from him knowing she'd only see disappointment. A glimpse of it could just push her over the edge because Kayla herself was aching to have more with Negan. She had to keep reminding herself though that Negan wasn't some available bachelor. He had a handful of woman he enjoyed and if she gave in she'd just be another option for him to play with.

* * *

Days went by, Kayla spending most of them laying in bed with her leg up or camping out on Negan's sofa reading or watching movies on the tiny portable DVD player. She was going out of her mind with boredom as time went on, especially when Negan was gone from sun up until sundown. He'd been different ever since the shower, distant and far from his usual mischievous self. Kayla knew it was her fault, the discord from her refusal to be more than a friend. She couldn't change her mind though, if she did she risked getting hurt because once she headed down that path with him, there was no going back. She knew she'd end up feeling things he wouldn't return and making a fool of herself. Kayla wasn't going to do it.

A knock on the bedroom door had her eyes raising from the book in her hands to see Sherry poking her head inside.

"Hey." The thin woman greeted, "Negan wanted me to get you to the doctor today."

"Oh..." she muttered, tossing the book to the side to scoot to the edge of the couch. Preparing to stand, Sherry moved to her side. "I got it." Kayla huffed as Sherry held onto her elbow.

"He said help. That's what I'm doing." Sherry responded while getting Kayla in a wheelchair she'd brought up. Sitting down heavily, Kayla's leg was propped up and they were heading out of the apartment quickly. She pursed her lips as the awkward tension grew with every minute. Sherry's heels clacked on the tile as she pushed Kayla along the stretch of hallways. Her palms began to sweat and her skin felt too tight, the awkwardness becoming too much to tolerate. Shifting uncomfortably, Kayla nearly jumped out of the seat when Sherry spoke.

"I don't blame you for Dwight." The woman's voice jolted her as they arrived to one of the few elevators still working in the factory.

"I'd hope not. Not my fault he was a fucking asshole." Kayla replied stiffly despite feeling relief at the woman's statement. She had been worried Sherry would blame her for his death.

Sherry chuckled over her shoulder making Kayla glare ahead. The small metal box began to lower to the ground floor, Sherry leaning next to her.

"What's so funny?" Kayla asked, sliding her eyes to Sherry.

"It's just funny." She said with a little laugh, "you guys are so damn alike."

"You guys?"

"You and Negan." Sherry informed with a shrug.

Pursing her lips Kayla didn't even try to argue, it was too damn obvious the pair were alike in many ways.

"He's been different lately." Sherry commented, her head turning to look at Kayla.

"I don't need to hear about your orgies." Kayla muttered, shifting to keep her angry eyes hidden. No one else needed to know the extent of her hatred for Negan's lifestyle or the jealousy that was eating her alive.

"There aren't any orgies.. well not anymore."

"Jesus fucking Christ. Just stop. I don't.." Kayla growled, ending with a huffed out breath as she crossed her arms. "Just shut the fuck up and get me to the doctor."

Staying silent the metal box finally landed on the bottom level, Sherry wheeling her out and towards the infirmary quickly. At the doorway leading to the doctor's office Kayla saw a welcome sight. Creep was standing next to a guy bleeding from the hand. His eyes rose to hers as Sherry wheeled her closer. Kayla watched him frown at her, his gaze heavy as he took in her foot and bruised face.

"You didn't die, good job." She commented as they reached the two waiting to enter the medical bay. Sherry stopped a moment before saying, "I need to get her in, Negan's orders."

Kayla rolled her eyes and motioned to guy bleeding on the floor. "Let the man go. I'm not bleeding to death."

"He told-."

"I don't give a fuck Sherry." Kayla barked, "the guy's bleeding all over the fucking place. The doc is just going to look at my foot and say, yeah it's still there."

Negan's wife glared at her while Kayla sneered back.

"Go on inside." Kayla motioned for the man to go inside as Sherry parked her against the wall.

"I need to get back upstairs." Sherry huffed, crossing her arms. "I have to pick up laundry and get groceries for dinner. He'll be pissed if I don't-."

"So go! I think I can handle pushing myself to the elevator when I'm done."

"I got her." Creep spoke from the doorway after dropping the other man off inside.

"See I'm good."

"Kayla." Sherry spoke her eyes sliding from the sitting woman to the tall man next to her. "He's not-."

"Yeah. Yeah. He doesn't like anything."

"That's not completely true." Sherry muttered before holding her hands up in defeat. "It's your funeral."

Watching her leave Kayla felt a niggling on nerves as Creep stood nearby, his eyes piercing the side of her face like lasers.

"I heard about the accident. Didn't realize it was this bad."

"I'm alive." She remarked with a grin, her eyes meeting his. "You are too so it's all good."

Grunting, Creep leaned against the wall and stayed silent. Kayla was just going to open her mouth and ask if he was staying in Sanctuary when he spoke. "You give in?"

Furrowing her brow she looked up to see what he meant but his expression said it all. His eyes were almost sad but it was fleeting, gone before she could comment.

"No. I'm just... I don't know."

"As long as you're where you want to be, that you chose. It's all that matters."

"That's just it, I don't know what I want. Well that's not true either." Kayla muttered with a sigh, her head tilting up to see him. "Nothing's ever easy."

"No. No it isn't." Creep commented, his lip twitching.

"It doesn't help that we make things harder on ourselves either." She added, smirking a little as he laughed quietly.

"No that doesn't help. It'd be easier to just... decide to be something or someone. It's just not that easy anymore."

The door opened and the doctor motioned her inside. Creep got her situated as the doctor removed the boot to check the limb. The break wasn't bad but enough to warrant bracing. The skin was a multitude of bruises from deep black to purple at the break sight.

"Jesus." Creep muttered, his brow furrowed, "that looks painful."

"It is." She hissed as the doctor probed a few spots.

"You've been taking your meds?"

"Yes."

"Good." He replied, while rewrapping her foot. "Make sure you're keeping it elevated, there some fluid build up. Cut back on the pain meds in the next couple days. I'll get you some ibuprofen to transition into."

Nodding Kayla let Creep help her into the wheelchair as the doctor grabbed her a small bag with orange pills. "Come see me in a few days and we'll take another X-ray to make sure things are healing correctly."

* * *

Creep pushed her chair down the hallway and into the elevator, both staying silent until the doors closed.

"He asked me about us when I got back the other day." Creep spoke, his eyes finding hers as she tilted her head up. "Wanted to know if I planned on fucking you again."

"Shit." She muttered, her cheeks flushing slightly. "Sorry I kinda lost it a bit when you left."

"Threw it in his face huh?" Creep asked with a smirk, adjusting his rifle to his shoulder as the doors pinged.

"Kinda... yeah. I wasn't thinking straight." She sighed, feeling embarrassed at her childish attempt to hurt Negan.

"No, no you weren't but I understand it."

"How?"

"People do stupid shit when it comes to love."

"I don't-."

"Maybe, maybe not but it's more than just friendship Kay." Creep explained as they walked the long hallways to Negan's living quarters. "After the interrogation from him... I kinda think if you talked to him about it, about your reservations about him, things would change."

"You can't possibly think he'd change anything for me. There's no way I'm worth it to him to give up all that control." Kayla claimed, shaking her head as they turned a corner.

"Maybe not give it up from the outside but no one needs to know about behind closed doors."

"What the fuck are you actually saying?" She asked with a wrinkled brow.

"I'm saying things always look different on the surface. Nothing is ever as it seems."

"So-." She began only stopping as Negan's apartment door opened to reveal the man himself. His eyes narrowed as he watched Creep pushing her chair down the hallway towards him.

"Where the fuck is Sherry?" He growled as they reached the end of the long stretch. Glancing at Creep she noticed he looked far from intimidated but the man. Most would turn tail and run with the glare Negan was throwing him but Creep held his ground.

"She had shit to do and the medical bay was busy." Kayla offered, tipping her chin to Creep. "He had a few minutes to get me back here."

The silence grew as Negan stared Creep down until he bowed his head slightly. Rolling her eyes Kayla asked, "did you need me for something?"

Negan glared at her a moment before ordering, "go see Simon and get work duties."

Creep bowed his head again before looking at Kayla, "feel better Kay."

Watching him leave, her eyes returned to a glowering Negan, his hands balled into fists as he drilled holes into Creep's back.

"Calm down."

"Don't fucking tell me to calm down!" He shouted, pushing her into the apartment roughly. Sighing Kayla sunk back into the chair as he parked her near the bed and started throwing blankets and pillows around. "Fucking bullshit. Here I am taking care of your whiny bitch ass and you what huh? You blow him in the elevator on the way up?"

"Jesus." She spoke with a little chuckle. "I haven't blown anyone in years just so you know and I kinda have other things on my mind, like a broken leg and bruised ribs. He was nice enough to get me upstairs. That's all that happened."

"Whatever." Negan growled, shifting her to the bed with a scowl. As he gripped her ribs, his fingers dug into the deepest bruises making her gasp in pain.

"Fuck." She barked, smacking his hand away to cup the battered flesh. "Don't take your jealousy out on my fucking broken body. Jerkoff."

Negan's mouth was pulled into a firm line as he watched her rub her ribs. "I'm not jealous."

Snorting she cocked an eyebrow, "oh really?"

"Shut up." He grunted, sitting down on the edge of the bed heavily facing away from her. Kayla slowly put a hand between his shoulder blades, her finger tips feeling the muscles of his back twitch.

"Did I hurt you?" He asked hoarsely, his eyes meeting hers over his shoulder. Kayla shook her head while her hand rubbed up and down his spine. She never touched him in that way, it was intimate and stomach tightening. Negan's body seemed to relax as her palm made another pass over the worn cotton of his shirt.

"What'd doc say?"

"I need to elevate it more, there's fluid something, something. Gave me ibuprofen."

Negan grabbed a pillow from the ground and stuffed it under her calf before she finished speaking.

"Thanks." She murmured, her hand resting on his lower back. "For everything. I'm sorry if I haven't said it enough."

Negan grunted, his shoulders rolling heavily, "whatever."

"I appreciate everything you've done for me Negan."

"I'll take a hummer if you're offering." He snarked, his grin forced. Kayla rolled her eyes and sighed, laying back into her pillows.

"You're back early. You haven't been getting back before dark all week."

"Want me to leave so you can have your fuck buddy over?"

"Stop."

"Stop what?"

"It's not like that. Me and Michael are just friends."

"Who the fuck is Michael?" Negan growled before he realized, "Jesus that's his real name? He told you? He's never told anyone, it's always been Creep."

Shrugging she muttered, "don't tell him I told you... fuck I have no goddamn filter on pain meds."

"Michael? His name is Michael?" Negan chuckled, shaking his head. "Fucking Michael Myers maybe. Guys a freak."

Kayla glowered at him and asked, "are you done yet?"

"Not even fucking close." He snapped, pointing at her, "I can get you to your room so you can have a sleep over with your best friend Michael."

Scowling Kayla threw back, "do you want me to go? If you want your space back I can go. I'm probably cramping you style. I'm sure your  _wives_  are missing their husband."

Negan huffed out a breath and scrubbed his eyes. "You know... I think it's probably a good idea. I haven't been fucked proper in days. If I don't cum in a tight hole soon I might lose my goddamn mind and since you're not putting the fuck out even after all the shit I've done for you, I'll find one of the plethora of women who will gob my knob and ask for seconds."

Chewing her cheek Kayla felt her neck heat as anger bubbled up inside, her fuse was short and burning.

"Sounds great." She sneered, scooting away from him to the other side of the bed. Hopping on one foot she circled the bed to avoid even touching the man staring at her. Sitting down heavily in her chair she kept her burning eyes away from him as she rolled to the door and muttered, "just send my shit to my room."

"Kay."

"What?" She huffed, her eyes drilling holes into the door as she prayed to be magically sent anywhere but in Negan's eyesight. She could feel her chest burning with either anger or embarrassment and the painful prickling in her eyes was becoming too much. Kayla wasn't even sure why she was close to bursting into tears but a stomach clenching feeling of jealousy could be the source. After speaking with Creep she was almost beginning to think Negan might change his ways, that he might want to be with just her and no wives but once again she was made to feel like a fool.

Negan just wanted laid, he didn't need or want any of the emotional bullshit that she would bring with her. If they started something she would fall hard for him, fuck she was already falling for the man, Kayla couldn't even imagine what it would be like if they fucked. That connection, no matter how much she'd want to hold onto the illusion of being detached, that connection would be unavoidable for Kayla now. She felt too much already.

"Stop. I didn't..." Negan growled, shaking his head before rising to his feet. Walking a few steps, he crouched in front of the chair as she turned her face away. She couldn't find the strength to look at him, she was scared if she did the salty tears just filling to the rim of her eyes would show.

"Look at me Kay."

Sniffing, she clenched her teeth painfully and let her eyes fall to his. Kayla watched him see her breakage, the man's mouth turning downwards as he saw the bloodshot eyes and flushed cheeks.

"I didn't mean to upset you."

"Whatever." She growled, "fuck whoever you want to Negan. You've got plenty of choices remember? I'll get out of your hair and you can go hog fucking wild in here. Fuck all the holes you want."

His hand slammed the brake down on the chair causing her to stop short with a grunt.

"Did I say you could fucking leave?"

"I think you saying you needed to fuck a tighthole and bragging about all the free pussy you could be having was a huge fucking hint." She snapped, reaching down to unlock the chair's wheel. Negan slapped her hand away and retorted, "you're the one hanging out with a guy who you and I quote, 'fucked the ever loving fuck out of.' You have a shit ton of dick you could ride around here."

"Jesus Negan. Yes I fucked him but guess what? We're both adults and we decided it was better for it to be a one time thing."

"Because he sucked at it?"

Laughing maliciously Kayla shook her head, "god fucking no. That was  _not_  the reason."

Negan's glare could tan her hide without him laying a finger on her.

"We just... we both have shit going on and we figured being friends or whatever was better than fucking everything up. This world is fucked and its better to have people you can trust to have your back. Getting laid shouldn't be priority beyond the walls, staying alive is. I trust him, he trusts me. That's all it is."

Negan's anger faded slightly, the man seeming to believe her as she spoke. "You're telling the truth." He rasped, the words a statement rather than a question.

"Always." She replied resolutely, her fingernail picking at the wheelchair's armrest.

The silence grew as Negan eventually stood up, his hand out towards her. "Let's get you back in bed."

"What about needing laid?"

"It'll have to wait." He muttered, picking her up and placing her back on the bed. "I'm fucking starving and pissed off."

"Join the club." She replied as he propped her leg up.

"I'll have someone bring some shit up. Any preference?"

"Edible."

Negan snorted and headed to the bar which held a radio and its charger. Making a call to the guards outside the apartment, Negan had food ordered before he yanked off his boots and placed a hand gun on the nightstand.

"We're watching a movie and chilling the fuck out." He spoke after the food was delivered, "you're high goddamn maintenance princess. You're making me go gray."

Snorting she joked, "don't blame me for you being old and crotchety."

"I'm far from old doll." He grunted, biting into a sandwich sent up before flicking a grape at her. Kayla popped it into her mouth, chewing with a smirk. "You aren't that young either."

Grumbling at her Negan handed her half of a sandwich, "shove this in you trap and shut the fuck up already."

* * *

They'd been watching some shitty action movie while making fun of the ridiculous stunts, both arguing the plausibility of doing the same in real life.

"I'm fucking serious." Kayla exclaimed smacking Negan in the shoulder, "once my foots healed, I could fucking do that, easy peasy."

"There's no fucking way you can run fast enough to scale a wall that high." Negan informed with a cocking smirk, "you're too damn short."

Glaring at him, she aimed to smack him again only to have him catch her wrist tightly. "Eh, eh, eh. No hitting Princess."

Growling she tried to yank her hand away only to tug him closer in the struggle. Negan being fully pleased with himself held on, wrestling with her limbs.

"Dick!" She snapped, "let go you dumb ape."

Negan chuckled as she tugged at his restraint. "That's just rude doll." He joked, pulling her closer as he licked his lip. "You're the one lashing out."

"Oh so you're scared of a girl now huh?" She asked with a baiting smirk, her eyebrow cocked.

"Ain't scared of shit Doll." He growled, pulling her into his chest. One hand pinned her wrist down above her head as the other gripped her hip. "Fuck. That isn't true." He murmured, shaking his head as he look into her hooded eyes. Kayla could barely pull in a steady breath, her heart hammered hard and fast against her ribs. She wanted him so terribly. She needed him even more.

"I am scared of one thing." Negan rasped, his lips brushing her cheek and his breath warmed her skin. "I'm scared of…"

Kayla waited on bated breath as he traced her bottom lip with the pad of his thumb. "What?" She gasped, as his eyes rose to hers, the deep brown irises filling her body with heat.

"I'm scared of... snakes." He replied, falling back with a wide grin as she stared widely at him. The man chuckled, his lips twisting into a ridiculously satisfied smirk as she narrowed her eyes.

"What did you think I was gonna say?" He spoke coyly, his lip quirked as he folded his hands under his neck laxly.

Shaking her head, Kayla felt her heart drop with disappointment and not from just the words but how desperately she wanted him to answer differently. Kayla wanted him to admit he was just as scared as she was by things she was feeling. She was fucked because Kayla was now suddenly aware that she loved Negan and he was afraid of snakes.


	13. Chapter 13

Kayla had been given crutches as well as a position in the scout tower once the doctor gave her the go ahead. With the long hours watching the perimeters, Kayla had successfully avoided spending much time with Negan for weeks. She'd moved back to her room and spent her off time hiding inside it. After being in his company so long , she'd realized her feelings for him were only going to solidify further. The aching want turning to stone inside her.

She needed distance and despite Negan's past actions saying he cared, his latest were far from caring. Her repeated refusals to move from friends to devoted wife had only strained their relationship. Negan was easily irritated and had punished three more men for various misdeeds, all ending up scarred messes. He'd taken a sixth wife, a small redhead who could only be in her mid twenties, was paraded through the common room on Negan's arm after she'd agreed to sell herself. Kayla had stared from the side, her chest so tight she feared a heart attack would drop her. The worst part was the look of sympathy in Creep's eyes as he witnessed her inner breakdown.

The Sanctuary had been attacked twice by the skin wearing freaks who guided herds like cattle. Kayla had watched from the upper levels as they were inundated and she could do nothing but pick off the dead to protect those clearing the grounds by hand. The woman wanted to be in the thick of it, the idea of having something else consume her mind, appealing.

She'd heard from others that their supplying communities had also been attacked, the herders finding them while tailing the Saviors. Negan and his men had been keeping to his word of ridding them of any biter problems. Despite the effort Creep, or Michael as she had begun calling him, told her that the communities seemed to be organizing within themselves. Daryl had run off as soon as he was given enough leash, taking with him inside information on how Sanctuary worked and more survivors were seen in places they shouldn't. Morgan wasn't the only transplant from Alexandrian to show up in Kingdom, the Hispanic woman who tried to kill Negan had also. Michael confessed that a war was probably eminent.

After returning the sniper rifle provided for watch, Kayla headed to the cafeteria for dinner, her goal to grab a plate and head to her apartment. Watching the ground as she navigated a narrow walkway, Kayla didn't notice the man striding towards her.

"Kay." Negan's voice jolted her enough to lose balance. Thick fingers grabbed her elbow as he caught her from falling. Looking up at him she saw his face was peppered with a beard again, his red scarf wrapping his neck from the cold weather. He looked good, way too good. Kayla pulled her eyes away from his handsome face and regained her balance.

"Hey." She muttered, removing her arm from his grip awkwardly.

"Where are you heading?"

Clearing her throat she tipped her chin towards the cafeteria, "to eat."

"Come eat with me?" He asked, the request abnormally unsure.

Chewing her lip she looked him over, noticing Lucille resting on his shoulder as he motioned towards the elevator. Nodding, Kayla followed Negan as he slowed his stride to meet her hampered speed.

"How's the leg?" He asked as they climbed into the elevator heading to his floor. Kayla leaned against the hand rail to rest her sore arms.

"Better. Getting an X-ray tomorrow to see if I can ditch the crutches."

"Good." He grinned down at her.

"How's life beyond the wall?"

"Getting complicated." Negan replied with a irritated shake of the head. "Don't worry about it."

Kayla furrowed her brow as he seemed to stiffen up at the mention of the outside "'Don't worry about it' usually means there is some serious shit that needs worried about." She quipped as they entered his apartment. Negan laughed, his eyes amused, "I've missed you."

Kayla smirked, her cheeks feeling hot as he smiled at her. "I think you have more than enough to keep you occupied." She muttered bitterly, siting down on his sofa as he sat across from her. Negan's eyes were hard, the grimace a confusing mix of embarrassment and anger.

"It could've been you."

"Oh gee how can I resist such a honor, right?" She deadpanned, her eyes burning bright. "How dare I want more than a fucking arrangement."

Huffing out a breath, Negan crossed his arms and glared at her. Kayla sneered slightly before snorting indignantly, turning her attention to the food.

On the coffee table was a spread of sliced veggies and fresh bread, Kayla's mouth watering as her stomach rumbled.

"Damn." She murmured, "haven't had fresh bread in awhile."

"Have at it." Negan offered, before adding, "you need to eat better doll. You're too thin."

Rolling her shoulder she took a piece of bread, laying slice of tomatoes across it. Negan smirked at her as she moaned while chewing.

"Damn princess." He shifted in his seat, his lip bitten white. "I want you to make those noises while underneath me."

"Like I said, you've got more than enough to occupy yourself." She grumbled, her eyes avoiding the heated gaze he wore.

"Don't be like that." He replied, leaning forward, "look... Emily-."

"No." Kayla barked, her teeth setting tightly, " _No_."

Negan sighed, scrubbing his eyes roughly. "Kay. Can I just explain myself?"

"I don't give a fuck Negan. It's not my business." Kayla ended with a growl.

"Holy Hell." Negan grunted, standing to collect a drink for himself. "Never known a more frustrating woman in all my life."

"Tough shit." She huffed, crossing her arms atop her chest.

Negan took a gulp of alcohol and spoke firmly, his hand raising as Kayla tried to stop him. "I took Emily as a wife to protect her. It's just for show. We aren't fucking."

"I don't give a fuck Negan." She growled, her eyes glaring at the door.

"I knew her mother." He continued, "I taught at the same school. Her mom was the office receptionist."

Kayla's mouth opened slightly as he kept spewing out personal details. "I fucked her. Not Emily, her mom. I was married and I fucked around... a lot with other staff. Emily's mom was a frequent flyer."

Kayla's nose wrinkled at the thought causing Negan to laugh with no amusement. "Yeah I've always been an asshole doll. This isn't a new thing but Emily? It's all innocent. She's like a step kid. When they brought her in she'd been held by a group of animals. She needs to be protected."

Nodding, Kayla began to feel guilty as all the angry glares she'd thrown at the poor girl. 'I'm a fucking bitch.' She thought.

"Feel like an asshole now?" Negan jeered, his eyes narrowed but lip twitching with amusement.

"I don't know what you're talking about." She denied him the gratification of being right.

"Of course. What was I thinking?" He remarked, popping a grape in his mouth, chewing with a cocky smile.

"Fine, whatever. You're my hero, what do you want me to say?" She muttered, giving him a side eye.

"Such a bitch." He spoke with a easy grin, the words more affection than insult.

"Well you're an asshole so we're perfect for each other." She retorted only to blush deeply at the connotation.

"Oh really?" He drawled slowly, his voice deepening. "Perfect you say?"

"Shuddup." Kayla groaned, raking her hands through her hair in exasperation. "What do you want? Why am I here?"

Negan frowned at the questions, a flash of genuine hurt crinkling his eyes. "Why's there gotta be a reason?" He rasped, leaning forward with his elbows on his knees. "You don't think I just enjoy talking to you?"

"You usually have an agenda." Kayla replied even though hoping he was truly just seeking her companionship.

"Damn doll, you really, really hate my guts don't you? I'm hurt." He spoke as if he could give two shits about her opinion but his face was tense and furrowed.

"That's not..." She began shaking her head. "I don't hate you. Far from it, Jesus Negan." Chewing her cheek she tried to smash down the words prickling her tongue, the ones clawing their way out.

"I'm sorry. I'm just tired and bitchy." She forced out, Kayla's eyes rising to his as if she were able to lie to the man. They both knew she wasn't telling the truth but neither said word.

Sitting silently she muttered, "I think I'm gonna head to bed."

"You could stay here." Negan offered, his eyes flicking over her nervously.

Kayla froze as the idea filled her whole body with tantalizing warmth. Oh god, how she wanted too. Those weeks she lived there, even while in terrible pain, were the best she'd had since the world went to shit. She wanted to rewind life and stay in that bubble. Just Negan and her eating, watching movies and shit talking.

"N-no." She stuttered, shaking her head as if that would clear the pure want clouding her vision. "No thanks. I just need some space."

Negan's jaw tightened, his gloved hand balling up at the words. "Space." He rasped with a humorless laugh. "Right. Well please, don't let me stop you. Go on and space the fuck right out of here then."

* * *

"What the fuck is that thing?" Kayla asked as she sat with Michael in the cafeteria.

"Karaoke." He grunted while chewing an apple down to its rind. Wrinkling her nose in disgust she asked, "and why the fuck is there one here?"

"To piss you off, why else?" He deadpanned quietly, his lip twitching.

"I knew it." She gasped, her eyes wide and innocent, "the world does revolve around me."

Snorting loudly, Michael elbowed her hard in the ribs making her chuckle. "Brat." He grunted as the microphone clicked on.

After a few awkward fumbles, the Savior hooking up the boom box looking device got the music pouring from the speakers.

"Oh Christ." She moaned, her hands covering her ears as an intoxicated man started wailing about Alabama. Negan wandered into the large room, his wives trailing after him. Emily was under his arm, Lucille hanging from his other hand. Kayla looked away from the sight, her stomach still tightening even knowing the relationship wasn't sexual. She was still jealous and aching to beat the hell out of the man for being such a considerate asshole.

"You tell him?"

"Tell him what?" She grumbled, drinking the rest of the small cup of liquor. Kayla didn't normally drink but recently it had come in handy. They'd found a huge stash and the get together had been organized to blow off steam. Everyone had been working hard with all the outside threats, Negan knew how to keep the group satisfied. Booze and music apparently.

"Don't play stupid." Michael grumbled, "it looks bad on you."

Sighing loudly Kayla watched as Negan sprawled out on one of the many benches, his arm braced on the table behind him. The grin on his face had her glaring at the table top instantly, Kayla hating how he could enjoy himself without her.

"Nothing I say will make any difference." She murmured, her strained eyes going to Michael's. "You can't always get what you want or so the song goes."

"Gonna sing?" Michael replied moments later, cocking an eyebrow, "heard you once you know?"

"What?"

"Singing. You were cleaning your gun crooning some Cash."

Feeling her cheeks warm she smirked at his gruff laugh. "Shush. I did not." She muttered, laughing lightly.

Simon slammed a bottle of Jim beam on the table top and grunted, "Drink up Princess."

"Fuck off." Kayla muttered, "don't fucking call me that."

"Awww. Is the pretty pretty princess on the outs with the bossman?" Simon sneered, his sour breath smelling of booze and cigarettes. Wrinkling her nose in disgust she tried to ignore his words as they cut straight through her. "I guess he got tired of ya jerkin' him 'round by his dick. Found himself a young slice. Maybe if ya beg real nice he'll take ya back."

Kayla stood up knocking her chair over and growled, "back off Simon or I'm shoving that bottle up your fucking skank ass."

He threw his head back, cackling loudly before smacking her hard on the back. "You're funny."

She glared at him as he sauntered away until she felt eyes on her. Negan was watching the exchange with interest, his eyebrow cocking as he found her gaze on him.

"Asshole." She muttered under breath before slumping back into her chair after Michael righted it. "Calm the fuck down." He grunted, pouring her another shot. "Drink this and shut up."

* * *

An hour later and Kayla was buzzed enough to actually enjoy some of the songs sung over the scratchy speakers. She kept catching herself murmuring along with the lyrics, Michael smirking every once in awhile as he caught her.

"Ok, ok, ok." Victor spoke over the mic. "We got a request. From the bigman himself. Kayla come on up."

"What?" She muttered, her eyes narrowing as Negan gave her a wide grin, his hands slowly clapping. "Fucking dick." She grumbled as everyone waited for her to follow orders. Kayla couldn't refuse, no one refused Negan, even her and especially not with the group of Saviors watching.

"Sing me a song doll." He hollered, motioning to the microphone with a firm look.

Standing up on wobbly legs, Kayla glanced at Michael who had the audacity to smirk openly at her.

"You're dead to me." She hissed stomping passed him to the makeshift stage.

Once there she scanned the tracks, rolling her eyes at all the stereotypical songs. If she was going to sing she wanted to blow the fucking roof off with a tacky 80s ballad. "Fucking bullshit." She muttered again before selecting the track. The music started slow, Kayla's voice coming in tentatively on cue. It had been a very long time since she'd sung loud enough to be heard and even longer while using a microphone. Soon her voice filled the room and all the chatting ceased.

" _I don't know where I'm going_

_But, I sure know where I've been_

_Hanging on the promises_

_In songs of yesterday_

_An' I've made up my mind,_

_I ain't wasting no more time"_

Her eyes wouldn't find anyone in particular, or at least that was what she tried to do but no matter how many times she told herself not to, she found Negan's hooded gaze. His lips were slack and eyes dark, something burning in them brighter than ever before. She could feel how much he wanted her through his gaze.

" _An' here I go again on my own_

_Goin' down the only road I've ever known,_

_Like a drifter I was born to walk alone_

_An' I've made up my mind_

_I ain't wasting no more time_

_But here I go again,_

_Here I go again,_

_Here I go again..."_

_Here I go again,_

_Here I go,_

_Here I go again..."_

The song reached the crescendo, her voice peaking before leveling out and trailing off. The room was silent as the music ended only to erupt into claps and wolf whistles. She felt her cheeks blushing as she placed the mic back into its stand and walked back to her seat. Negan was consuming her as she sauntered passed, her hips swaying a bit more than needed. Smirking she kept going until she met up with Michael, "let's get the fuck out of here now."

The tall man stood up, tipping his chin towards Negan, "he looks like he wants to speak to you."

"Kayla." Negan rasped, "come with me."

"Ne-."

"Come with me." He growled, his hand out stretched. "Now."

* * *

Kayla climbed the ladder to the roof awkwardly, her booted foot catching on the rungs. Cursing under her breath she flinched as Negan gripped her hip, "I gotcha," he rasped, his body bracing her from falling. A few more feet and she exited onto the rooftop. Negan joined her moments later, his hand gently resting on her lower back as they approached the seating area. Biting her lip she felt her cheeks warm at the sweet gesture. The man was such a contradiction, brutal and vicious one moment to downright chivalrous and gentle the next.

"I forgot about your foot." He muttered, shaking his head. "Sorry I just… I like it up here."

"It's nice up here." She replied with a shrug. "My foots fine."

Nodding, Negan motioned to the outdoor lounge before take his own seat. Kayla sat down her eyes avoiding his. It had never been as awkward as it was right then. A strange anxious feeling unraveled in her bones.

"Gotta say I'm fuckin surprised." He spoke as she avoided his gaze.

"Bout what?" Kayla replied, swallowing thickly before finally looking over at him.

"It's just you seem a little too young to be a Whitesnake fan."

Snorting Kayla smiled slowly, her neck warming at the teasing grin he wore. "Never too young for Whitesnake." She replied causing the man to chuckle.

"Your voice doll." Negan spoke his cadence low and rough. "Sexiest thing I've ever heard."

"Shuddup." She mumbled, feeling embarrassed by the compliment.

"No way." He replied, his hand reaching out to turn her face towards him. "It was amazing."

Smiling softly she dipped her head, "thanks."

"Thank you for singing." He replied, his fingers brushing hair behind her ear. She began to feel that pulling sensation in her chest again. A steadily growing ache to blurt out her feelings or grab his face and kiss the fuck out of him. It was bubbling up inside her and she wasn't sure she could stop it.

"I want to kiss you." Negan murmured as if reading her mind, his hand combing through her hair. "Fuck I need to princess."

"I hate that nickname."

"I'll never say it again if you let me taste that sexy mouth." He rasped, his tenor deepening.

"Pinkie swear?" She asked with a smirk, the idea of hearing Negan say pinkie swear back making her reckless. She wasn't drunk but the alcohol she'd consumed all night had made her warm and comfortable. Kayla wasn't think much of consequences while staring at the man she had grown to adore, she was thinking of how fucking nice it would be to let go for once. To kiss him thoroughly and without reserve.

"Fucking pinkie swear, cross my goddamn heart and hope to fucking die princess." He drawled, his fingers curling into the hair at the base of her neck.

Biting her lip she peered up at him through her lashes and watched his chest rise and fall quickly. The man was just as enthralled with the idea and for once Kayla threw caution to the wind. Leaning forward, she placed a hand on Negan's chest and curled her fingers into the fabric to pull him closer. They were barely a breath away, his lips almost brushing hers.

"It's gotta be you princess." Negan whispered, his sweet breath ghosting over her lips.

Her body was so hot, sweat trickled down her spine making her shiver. Kayla wasn't going to be able to stop what was coming, nothing could keep her from giving in now. He was too close and too inviting. "Stop calling me that." She murmured, her lips brushing his so lightly she may have imagined it.

"Only if you kiss me princess." He teased, his eyebrows raised as he waited for her to crack.

Huffing she growled, "I'm gonna do it so just stop."

"Believe it when I see it  _princess_." Negan taunted, the word drawn out and taunting.

"Fine." She growled, her fingers clenching his tshirt.

"Fi-." He was cut off by Kayla crashing mouth. She slid her tongue into his moaning mouth, his fingers curled into her hair with a tight fist. Exploring him deeply, Kayla felt him grabbing her waist before she was suddenly tugged into his lap. She framed his hips with her thighs while settling instantly as if it were natural to grind in Negan's warm lap. The first thing she noticed, as he began teasing her lips, was how incredibly soft his were and the second was how amazing he tasted.

Negan pinned her to his chest, thick arms wrapping around her waist tightly. His mouth was hard and persistent, rough whiskers and deep plunges of his tongue overwhelmed her senses. He smelled of leather and campfire smoke, his scent warm and enticing. She moaned deeply as he sucked and bit her lip.

"Fucking fuck you taste so damn good." He panted, his tongue and teeth moving along her jaw and down her neck.

Pulling back she tried to get distance from the intoxicating man but he gripped her firmly. Kayla began to feel stupid for losing her control, she wasn't supposed to get that close to what she wanted. It would only end badly.

"No." He grunted, his hands cupping her face, "don't you fucking dare regret this."

"Negan." She gasped, trying to pull back as her heart hammered way too fast, way too hard. Kayla was panicking, "We… I… this."

"Pick a sentence doll but I've got an answer to all of 'em." He informed, his fingers tucking stray locks behind her ear gently.

"We can't do this. I can't."

"Why?" He asked, an eyebrow cocked. "One good reason Kay, 'cause I know you feel it."

"What your hardon? Yeah I feel it Negan." She snarked, trying to joke about the heat smoldering between them.

Leaning forward, he nipped her ear playfully with a growl and demanded, "admit you feel this thing between us."

"I don't-" she began to deny but he cut her off.

"Admit it Kay... Please."

Cocking an eyebrow she teased, "What did you say?"

"Please." He purred, his mouth brushing across her ear, the gentle stroke of his hot, wet tongue making her smother a whimper. "Pretty, pretty, pretty fucking please with sugartits on top."

"I like you begging," she admitted breathlessly her eyes connecting with the man encompassing her, both physically and mentally.

"Fuck." He muttered, his hands stroking up and down her thighs, "if all it takes is begging to get you naked in my bed, I'll gladly grovel at your bare fucking feet."

Snorting she muttered, "that'll be the day."

Negan's lips brushed across her neck, the hot wet breath making her throb as he rasped, "I am fucking serious."

"You just like the challenge. I say no and you want me more." She theorized, "if I gave in you'd be over me before the sun rose."

Shaking his head Negan pulled back to look at her, his hand cupping her cheek, "that may have been true in the beginning. When you got here but now..." He trailed off, his thumb brushing along the scar cutting across her cheek, "it's different now."

"Why?"

"Because... I know you now and I want to know more. All of it. All of you." He spoke truthfully, his voice lowering a few octaves. "and it doesn't hurt that you have these fucking hot lips and tight ass. Don't get me started on these tits."

Rolling her eyes she looked away with a tiny grin. "Shuddup."

"No." He rasped, his hand sliding from her hip to her waist. The heat from his large palm soaked into her side, his thumb stroking along her stomach while his fingers curled into her back. Her skin was covered in pleasant goosebumps as blunt nails dug into her skin. "You're fucking sexy and I want to see all of you."

"I'm a scarred fucking mess Negan." She replied thinking of all the burn scars coating her ribs and arms, the sliced face and diced body.

"I don't care about scars."

"I do."

"Well stop." He murmured, leaning into her, warm breath tickling her ear, "I want you Kay."

"I know." She gasped as his hand raised to her ribs, his thumb resting just below her breast. Negan squeezed her sides, his large hands making her feel small. Swallowing thickly she finally confessed, "I don't want to be just another woman you fuck. I don't want to think about where your dick has been or where it's going to be."

"So this is all just about the wives?" He asked, his brow furrowed, "Not because of who I am?"

"Its… I." she sighed and looked away. "I don't know. I'd… I'd be less likely to resist I guess."

Negan hummed, pulling back slightly as he gazed at her. She felt something burning between them as his eyes darkened. "So if they were out of the picture you'd fuck me?"

"Negan it's not just about the sex. I can fuck anyone I want and be fine with it but…." She sighed, closing her eyes a moment as if finding a way to say the confused mess that was her mind without sounding like an idiot or confessing she was already in love with him and if she gave him that piece of her, there was no going back. "Look. I don't trust easily but I trust you. I just can't do this with you though."

"Why not?" He asked, his brow furrowed and eyes confused.

Growling she became fed up with talking, "I don't do this open relationship bullshit Negan. You fucking know this. If I'm in, I'm all in and I expect the person I'm with to be too. I don't want to think about you fucking Meredith or whoever else is the flavor of the month. I don't want to suck Sherry's fucking sloppy seconds. Okay?!" She was breathing hard by the time she stopped speaking. He stared at her for a long moment before he murmured, "You'd be jealous?"

"If I'm with you? You're mine." She growled with a heated glare. "I don't fucking share, Negan. I think you can relate."

Smirking he tucked hair behind her ear, "My little hothead."

Rolling her eyes she muttered, "Shut. Up."

"Listen Kay. What I have with the wives is a fucking business arrangement. There isn't anything between us besides goods and services. You and me… There's more. I actually enjoy spending time with you, even though we aren't fucking." He spoke with a grin, "if what it takes is me not fucking them anymore. Done. If we're making a go at this then I won't fuck them anymore."

"You can't be serious." She muttered, "there's no way you'll give up that many willing women."

"I can and I will if you're actually serious. I promised to protect them though so I can't kick them out but I won't fuck them anymore. It's gonna have to look the same. All those assholes out there will see weakness if I cut them loose. You'll be just another wife to them."

"I…" She trailed off not expecting him to even think about becoming monogamous.

"Changing your mind? Or was it just an excuse?"

"No, I'm just surprised."

"Well don't be." He murmured, his head dipping to kiss her neck, "now will you fucking kiss me already. I need to taste you again."

Peering down at him she felt a shift inside her, like something rusted and unmoving suddenly sprung to life. She fought it for so long and suddenly it seemed pointless to keep fighting.

Tilting her face down, she could feel his quickened breath on her lips, his dark eyes were tracing slow paths over the lines of her face. As he brought his mouth closer to her's, Kayla's breath stuck in her throat. Their lips met and a moan ripped out of her chest before she could smother it. The sound making Negan growl, his body pressing into her harder than before. His fingers curled into her side and his other hand yanked her firmly against his front. As his body slotted between her legs, Negan began rolling his hips into her heat.

"Fuck." She grunted at a particularly well placed thrust of his hips.

"Yeah." Negan breathed, his voice hoarse yet smooth "see how good I can make you feel?"

"Yes." Kayla gasped as his mouth slid to her neck, teeth and tongue teasing their way behind her ear. Negan's breath was quickening, his mouth and hands becoming more persistent as he squeezed and gripped every curve.

Rocking her hips in his lap, Kayla felt Negan's hardon pressing into the seam of her jeans. A deep moan rumbled through his chest as she circled her hips seductively.

"Goddamnit." He growled as she bit his neck hard and sucked his earlobe into her greedy mouth. "I got somethin better for you to suck on darlin."

"Mmm. What ever could you mean?" Kayla gasped as his hand slid up to cup her breast.

"Well, doll." He spoke breathlessly, his fingers massaging the subtle curve of her chest. "I want you're pretty little mouth wrapped around my dick."

"I don't think you've earned it." Kayla murmured, rolling her hips along his hard length slow and precisely. "I think you've got a little sucking up to do before I give my mouth to you."

Growling Negan pinned her hips with giant hands, bucking up into her spread thighs. "Gonna get it girl." He sneered playfully, his teeth biting into her neck and shoulder while he thrust upwards. Kayla was panting as he continued to grind into her with no reprieve. "Fuck." She moaned as he hit her clit over and over. "Fuck I'm gonna." She gasped, her head thrown back as Negan licked a long path up her neck before digging a hand into her hair.

"You're gonna what? Huh babydoll?" Pulling her face to his, Negan sucked on her bottom lip while still snapping his hips between her thighs. A throaty moan escaped her mouth as his hand returned to her chest, his thumb and forefinger rolling her nipple tightly through her tshirt.

"Oh fu-." She moaned, the tension they'd built by dry humping like teenagers snapped. Throwing her head back she gasped, her fingers clawing at his broad chest and thick neck. Her hips twitched with no rhythm as he growled deeply at her unraveling. Her eyes flickered open to find Negan breathless and surprised.

"Holy hell." Negan moaned into her neck as he kissed and sucked her flushed skin. "You just came in your panties didn't you?" He panted, his hands massaging her ass while still thrusting desperately into her.

"Yeah." She moaned as he continued to hit her sensitive spots. "Jealous?"

"Yes." He hissed, his head thrown back as she bit into his neck.

Moving quickly before he realized it, Kayla unbuckled his pants to slid her hand inside. The heat from his silky skin felt blazing in her palm, the slickness weeping from the swelling head making her passes easy.

"Motherfucker." He snarled, his neck tensing as his eyes burned into hers. Kayla smiled slowly, biting her lip as she stroked him. Squeezing on the up stroke, Kayla swept her thumb over the head to trail the wetness down and around.

"M'dreaming?" He murmured, as she licked her lip while watching her hand stroke an impressive dick.

"No." She whispered, her hand pulling another deep groan out of his parted lips. "It's not a dream, sweets." The term of endearment slipping out without a thought.

Negan's lungs were barely sucking in air as he stared dumbly at her with a slack mouth. She leaned forward, her hand still working between them, kissing him deeply and thoroughly.

"Doll." He gasped into her mouth, "Fuck… baby. I… fuck." Negan muttered hoarsely, his eyes falling closed as her other hand joined in. Using both she stroked and twisting a tantalizing rhythm while watching the man become unglued.

"Kay." He whimpered, tilting his head back as a low moan escaped his deep chest. "Babe. I'm-."

A animalistic growl tore from him as his whole body tensed, curled fingers clawed at her hips as Negan shuddered underneath her. He came hard into her hands, cum coating her palms and shirt as she finished him off. Negan's whole body twitched as she slowly cleaned him up with her tshirt.

As soon as he had righted himself, Negan's large hands framed her face. He didn't kiss her yet, only stared at her intently, calloused thumbs stroking her flushed cheeks. Kayla's chest was rising and falling hard and fast as the man in front of her consumed every inch of her. His hands slid into her hair, his fingers curling into the thick locks at the base of her neck. Negan tilted her head back and leaned forward, gentle kisses leading up her neck. Kayla's breath kept hitching at every nip and swipe of hot, wet tongue.

"I want everything Kay." He murmured into the pale skin behind her ear. Negan's voice was soft, his tone gruff but still honey smooth. "All of you."

"I.. I need slow. This has to be slow." She murmured, turning to kiss his cheek and jaw. Kayla wanted fast. She wanted fast and hard and a touch violent, they'd been dancing around each other for too long. However she needed slow. She was already head over heels for him, her feelings running deep and wide. If they went too fast, she may just end up confessing things she shouldn't.

"Why?"

"Doesn't matter why." She replied pulling back to look him in the eye to express the need to be careful. "It's the way it's got to be for me. Is that gonna be a problem?"

"No." He replied, his hand cupping her jaw. "Been waiting awhile now. Think I can handle a little while longer, especially if I still get to do this." Pulling her tight into his chest, Negan kissed her as if their lives depended on it. Deep wet plunges as Kayla moaned loud and breathy. His teeth nipped her lip, sucking it into his mouth as she clutched his jacket and neck.

"Ok." She panted into his ear, "I suppose we can keep doing that."

"Oh yeah? That's good 'cause I think I might fucking explode if I couldn't." He murmured into her neck, his lip dragging along her jaw before kissing her breathless again.

"You're staying with me tonight." Negan spoke firmly, the curl of his lip and encouraging nodding had Kayla's resolve to leave, slow wavering. He was so boyishly handsome at times it made her chest hurt. "You're fucking adorable." She admitted, her cheeks burning as the man grinned wider than ever before.

"You finally admitting you like me?" He asked, his head tilting back as if he needed to see a wider frame of her reply. Cocking an eyebrow he silently encouraged her to confess. Grumbling a few curse words, Kayla sighed deeply. Her eyes narrowing as she murmured, "you aren't that bad."

Negan barked out a laugh, his head thrown back as he playfully shook her. "Sometimes doll… sometimes I can't believe you aren't taken." He retorted with a mock sneer. Rolling her eyes Kayla pursed her lips to keep the smile from showing. She loved their banter. Loved it.

Loved him.

"Well it's your lucky day I suppose." She quipped, her lip twitching as he smiled softly. "The whole apocalypse thing has dried up the dating pool."

"Smartass." He growled, gripping her hips tightly in his hands. "Fuck you are gonna be fun and irritating aren't you?"

"I'm the same person in bed Negan. You get what you see."

"Nah. That isn't true." He murmured, "I feel a softer you…" his finger trailed down her neck, the rough pad catching on her hair before dipping between her breasts. After a few passes of his fingertips up and down her sternum he placed a warm palm over her left breast. "You're soft in here." He rasped, his voice almost tentative, his eyes flicking over her face for a reaction.

Kayla swallowed thickly, her body instinctively closing the space between them. Negan's hand slid to cup her breast as his other arm wrapped around her waist securing her to his front. Kayla pressed her forehead onto his and stared down her nose at him. They were both panting as the air buzzed between them, electric and hot.

"Please don't hurt me." She pleaded, her voice breaking half way through. Her eyes burned but she refused to cry because despite the sorrowful statement, Kayla was happy. It wasn't a time for sadness.

Negan would've pulled her closer if it were possible, the man supplementing the need with winding his limbs around her even tighter. One hand cupped the back of her head, pressing their face together as the other circled her waist, his fingers curled into her hip.

"Darlin' if I can help it, I'll never hurt you." He rasped, pulling back to see her eyes clearly, his lips gently kissing her. "Trust me?"

Closing her eyes, Kayla felt her control drop away. The only way she would know if they could actually pull off a relationship would be giving in. She had to let go and hope for the best. Her eyes slowly opened and she met his patient gaze, chocolate irises watching her every move. Keeping her gaze trained on him, Kayla nodded slowly while whispering two very big words, "I do."


	14. Chapter 14

After brushing her teeth, Kayla changed into one of Negan's t-shirts and entered the bedroom to find the man stretching out on the bed. He wore simple black track-pants and a plain white t-shirt, his inked arms folded behind his head and his ankles crossed.

"Fuck." Negan murmured at the sight of her bare legs. "C'mere."

Crawling across the bed on her hands and knees, she smirked as he growled, his hands pulling her closer. Kayla lay partially over his chest, her arms braced on either side of his head as his hands held her hips like anchors. It felt foreign to have his calloused fingertips on her bare skin. A pleasant shiver ran down her spine as the edge of his thumb traced the thin line of her panty hem.

"You need something?" She asked with a slow grin as she peered down at him, amused at the pure want in his eyes.

"I  _need_  you to climb on top of my dick darlin' but I don't think that's on the menu." Negan rasped, his hand sweeping hair from her face before tracing her bottom lip. Rolling her eyes, she ignored the comment, blushing as he continued to stare intently.

"God you are beautiful." He murmured, pulling her mouth to his desperately. Kissing him slowly, Kayla whispered against his intoxicating lips, "no need for flattery, I've already gotten you off."

Snorting, Negan kissed her chastely and assured, "it's not flattery, it's the truth."

Rolling her eyes, Kayla turned the scarred side of her face away from his view. "Shuddup."

"Don't do that." Negan muttered, gripping her chin to turn her back towards him. "Don't hide from me."

"It's not just..." shaking her head Kayla paused, the woman trying to find the words. "The scars, I hate them but it's how I got them. I know you feel guilty. I don't want to keep reminding you."

Negan stared at her with a look of disbelief, "you're hiding them to protect me from feeling rightly deserved guilt?"

"You didn't do it."

"I should've seen it, she was a fuckin' nutjob from the beginning." He growled, glaring across the room. "You did nothing wrong and two shitheels I kept close, kept alive, tried to  _destroy_  you. Guilt isn't the only thing I feel about what happened."

Kayla curled into his side, her unmarred cheek pressed into his chest as she listened. Negan's face was resting against her forehead as his lips brush across her skin. "I feel fucking rage. Hotter than the goddamn sun. Lucille... it was bad. Real fucking fucked. I cracked, I know I did but it kept me alive and brought me Sanctuary." Negan paused as if he just realized he was confessing more about himself than ever before. He combed his fingers through her hair, his thumb tracing the pink lines fragmenting her tan skin.

"I went apeshit after her death. But that night, when I came back and saw you in Doc's... holy hell all those fucking stitches. If they hadn't been locked up already I would've burned the world to the ground finding them." His voice became steely as he spoke through clenched teeth. Negan's hands were holding her tighter, as if something or someone were going to try and take her from his arms at any moment.

Kayla's chest was so tight that her breaths were coming in shallow pants. His words sent heat to every pore and nerve ending, curling her toes and clenching her fists in cotton. Tipping her chin up, she peered up at him, flushed and breathless. His brow was furrowed, a deep scowl framed in salt and pepper scruff, as he seemed to relive that evening. Negan's hand stroked her cheek soon, not one finger tracking the lines any longer. The feeling of just a gentle pass without making note of every divot had her eyes prickling. It felt normal, as if they were suddenly unseen by him.

"I know you would." Kayla murmured, her hand pressing onto his chest, over his hammering heart. Stretching her neck upwards, she kissed him softly upon the mouth as his long limbs wrapped her up into his chest.

"Sweetheart." He moaned against her lips, his hand gripping the curve of her ass tightly. She could feel his thick fingers almost brushing the aching throb between her legs. Every rhythmic grasp, as they rolled into each other, brought another shudder as the barest of a fingertip brushed her damp panties.

"Should get some sleep, " he suggested, his voice impossibly hoarse and sexy. Kayla bit her bottom lip until it screamed in pain, letting it pop out of her teeth as she gasped, "fucking touch me Negan." She couldn't stand another moment where some part of him wasn't buried inside her.

A low hum vibrated through his chest as his clutch tightened to the point of bruising. Kayla only moaned in response, her hips rolling into his thigh as he slotted it between her own. Moving against his body, she ground against his leg, as he slid his arm further around her. His hand was suddenly stroking Kayla's soaked center from behind, damp cotton clinging to her skin.

"Jesus." She gasped, her fingers clawing at his t-shirt as Negan chuckled underneath her, his mouth pressing against her forehead. "You're fucking soaked doll." He groaned, his fingers tracing the edges of her panties.

"Someone's been turning me on." Kayla muttered with a gasp, his fingertips dipping under the cotton.

"Fuck." He growled, the word drawn out like a prayer. "I mean holyfucking fuck. So wet." Negan sounded breathless as he explored her lips and clit, smooth wide passes interrupted by fast flicks.

Kayla breathing had become rapid and irregular, her eyes clenching as an urge to cum began to rise rapidly.

"Jesus, Kay. You're already gonna cum for me again huh?" He murmured, his tone full of awe. With no hesitation, Negan crooked two fingers into her scorching heat, her body accepting him greedily. Moaning loudly as the drag of his fingers stretched her stomach taut, as if he found the string that held her together and was pulling it.

"Mother of fuck." He cursed, his head shaking as he bit into her neck, growling against the wet skin, "I want to fill you up so goddamn bad."

Kayla could only gasp in response as his digits sunk deeper and harder, the man desperate to break her in all the right ways.

"Baby." She whimpered as the ratcheting tension released, her whole body arced and bowed into his side. Kayla expelled a wrecked moan as she struggled for breath against his chest, her nails dug into his shoulders as Negan continued to stroke her through the orgasm.

"Good girl." He purred into her ear as he sucked her earlobe, biting it gently. "Fucking hell. I wanna bury my cock in you."

"Negan."

"I know.. fuck." He growled, pulling her leg up to rub against his groin, desperate for relief. Kayla rolled to her back pulling him to lie between her legs and rasped, "Take off your clothes."

"What?"

"Off. Now." She replied, shoving the elastic waist pants down impatiently. Once naked he stayed raised above her, his hips grinding against her. Kayla kept eye contact with him as she reached down to stroke the hard dick pressing into her stomach. Negan made a sound close to a moan but aggressive like a growl and overall desperate.

"Kay." He huffed, his body shuddering with need as she worked too slowly.

"Easy." She whispered, her hands working in unison, stroking and squeezing. "I got you."

He began to thrust into her hands as she worked, his hooded eyes glued to her movements. Kayla salivated watching Negan's body flex and bend, his arms straining as he held himself up above her in order to watch.

"Feel good baby?" Kayla asked, her breath short as his eyes drilled into hers.

"Yes." Negan hissed out as one of her hands dropped to cup his balls. Massaging while rolling her fingers along the soft skin, Kayla kept a smooth rhythm on his cock.

"You are... really fucking good at this." He murmured, a breathy chuckle escaping him as she twisted her hand around.

"It just a handjob."

"Fuck." He moaned deeply, his eyes clenched and his head thrown back, "this is definitely not just a handie."

Kayla laughed quietly as she squeezed another breathless groan out of him. She felt him harden even further before a deep rumble vibrated above her, the man's face almost pained as he came across her stomach and hips. Stilling her hands she felt him thrusting lazily, while dropping his sweaty forehead against her neck. Negan kissed her with hot, open mouth kisses, his breath still rapid and uneven. Stroking his back Kayla pulled him to lie on top of her, his weight pressing her into the mattress. Her lungs struggled to work but it was more than a little pleasant to feel him covering her, his body exhausted by just her hands.

"Holy hell doll." He rasped against her neck as his kissed and licked her salty skin.

"Feel good?" She whispered behind his ear. A deep chuckle had her smiling against Negan's shoulder. "Good may be a little bit of an understatement sweetcheeks."

* * *

They slept tangled together, Negan spooning her from behind while his arm wound tightly around her middle, his hand cupping her chest. Kayla woke with a smirk as she felt him nuzzling into the back of her messy hair, his hand squeezing her breast.

"Pervert." She murmured as his palm moved to the other side, the man obviously awake and enjoying himself.

"Didn't want it to feel left out." His rough sleep filled voice tickling her neck. Kayla laughed quietly at his excuse, rolling over to see him. His face was relaxed, the tension usually residing around his eyes and mouth replaced with a soft gaze and boyish smile. Kayla bit on her tongue as the words she'd been ignoring almost escaped. It was one of the reasons she fought so hard to not get so close to the charismatic man. Eventually she would scare him away.

"I ever tell you how hot you are with bedhead?" He rasped, a crooked grin curling his lips showing off his dimples. Snorting she dropped her chin to hide the embarrassing blush painting her cheeks. "Shuddup." She grumbled tracing a loose pattern on his chest.

Negan laughed quietly, his arms winding around her tightly.

"So what now?"

"What now what?" Negan replied, his fingers twirling in the locks between her shoulder blades, twisting it around his finger.

"With us… the wives and everything." She explained, her mind already on overdrive thinking about what exactly would happen when they left the safety of his bedroom.

"Well I figure it'll be like every other marriage. Make an announcement, you're off limits and shit.."

"No." Kayla interrupted before he could complete his thought. "I'm not going to be paraded around and have everyone in my business."

"Well what do you propose?"

"No one needs to know shit." She muttered, glancing over at him, "we just leave it the way it is and what we do behind closed doors is our business."

"So you want to hide the fact you're with me?" He growled, his head cocking to the side. "Not happening."

"Negan-."

"No."

"What if for just now.. until we're settled and shit?" Kayla offered, her eyebrow raised, "make sure we aren't going to break up next week because we find out we hate each other."

Rolling his eyes, Negan murmured, "Never doll… Fine two weeks, then it's published in the community newspaper, front fucking page. 'Hottie Weds Naughty'."

Snorting loudly she smirked up at him. "What a funny guy."

Negan gave her a shit-eating grin while hugging her closer. "I knew you liked me."

They laid quietly, Negan smoothing a hand up and down the length of her thigh. Kayla was dozing when he spoke, "it'll be nice to have the same schedule. No more night watches for you."

"I'm not getting special privileges." She muttered sleepily, tucking her face into Negan's chest.

"Like hell you aren't. No points, no work duty." He growled, his body tensing under hers as if knowing an argument was ensuing.

"I'm not sitting around like a wife." Kayla replied, her tone bored. "I'm working like everybody else."

"You aren't going outside the walls but you can work inside the factory." He replied, pulling back to see her reaction.

Leaning up she shook her head. "No. You aren't turning into a controlling dick."

Smirking, Negan pointed out, "Doll, I already am a controlling dick."

Growling she sat up completely and glared at him, "Negan. I will not sit behind the walls and get weak. If you don't go out there you become a liability. You know its true. I'll consider changing to the same schedule."

Narrowing his eyes Negan could see she wasn't going to bend, her jaw raised stubbornly and eyes defiant. Growling deeply he conceded, "You don't step foot out those walls unless you are next to me. Same schedule, no more midnight shifts. You're in bed, when I'm in bed.  _No arguments_."

Thinking on it for a moment she agreed, Kayla preferred her missions were with him anyways and why would she argue about being in bed with him.

"Deal."

Smirking Negan pulled her closer, his hand cupping her jaw he purred, "good girl."

"Shuddup." Kayla muttered, kissing softly "don't be a cocky ass."

"Don't pretend to hate my cocky ass."

* * *

Kayla stood on the highest scout post, her broken foot propped on the guardrail. She was on the morning shift now that Negan was insisting on quality time, go figure. They were three days into their trial run and Kayla was surprised how smoothly it was going. Negan had only caused one argument by being a dickhead.

The sound of the rooftop hatch opening, Kayla turned to see Negan climbing onto the roof. He was followed by another man, who Kayla had seen take watch before. Cocking an eyebrow she stayed silent as they approached, Negan checking out her ass with a grin.

"Hey doll." He drawled, biting his lip as she turned around to face him. Kayla couldn't help but think back to that morning when she woke to Negan's fingers sinking into her with slow precision. Heat rose to her cheeks as he licked his lip while obviously thinking on the same wavelength, a lascivious grin twisting his mouth.

"Sir." She murmured, her eyes darkening. His fists tightened, as he seemed to fight the urge to grab her, both struggling to stick to the hidden relationship while being watched.

"Johnny boy is taking over. You have somewhere else to be."

"Where?" She asked her brow wrinkled in confusion.

"Alexandria. I need a mediator."

Kayla stared at him with a parted mouth before cracking up for a solid minute; her eyes watering by the time she faded to a loud satisfied sigh. Wiping her eyes she finally looked back at the two men watching her, "Wait that wasn't a joke?" She chuckled with a grin.

"Are you fucking done?" Negan snapped, the irritated man obviously pissed off at her antics in front of another Savior, it was far from appropriate.

"I'm sorry Sir." She replied hoarsely, clearing her throat and dipping her chin. Kayla knew she needed to balance on a thin line with Negan's wavering leniency. A certain amount of back talk was flirty while a more blatant disregard of her status was disrespectful. Disrespect wasn't allowed, even if she were more or less fucking the boss.

"Get your shit and go to the courtyard." He ordered, his tone less threatening but still firm. Kayla nodded and passed him to head down the ladder. Negan followed after her and once out of sight smacked her ass with a grin, "you're gonna get it tonight doll."

Rolling her eyes she muttered, "I'm terrified."

Growling, Negan grabbed the back of her jacket to spin her around and crowded her into a corner behind a rusty ac unit.

"I'm going to do bad things to you tonight," he rasped, his hand sinking into her hair and yanking her head back. His teeth nipped her ear as he growled, "your not gonna be able to sit down for a fucking week."

Kayla dug her fingers into his ribs as his hips pinned her to the wall. Moaning as he ground into her, while lifting one of her legs to his hip. "Negan." She gasped, her body on fire as he sucked her earlobe into his hot mouth, his heavy breathing causing shudders through her.

"Yeah sweetheart?" Negan murmured, his tongue darting out along her jaw. "Want me to stop?"

"Fuck no but someone's gonna see us." Kayla muttered, her voice breathless as his large palm gripped her ass tightly.

"Fuck." He grunted, his teeth clenched as he forcibly pulled away from her. Kayla was panting as she fixed her clothing and tucked her messy hair behind her ears. Negan raked a hand through his hair before adjusting the sudden tightness in his jeans. She couldn't help the satisfied smirk that curled her lips at the sight.

"Shuddup." He grumbled, cupping his dick with a scowl. "Better be ready tonight."

Laughing she climbed down the ladder after Negan, the man using his position to grab her ass again. "I'm already ready." She flirted, her eyes bright as he growled again.

Kayla shook her head in disbelief as they walked towards the living area to pick up her pack. It had been a very long time since she was happy, so long that it was hard to even remember what it was like. While Negan walked next to her, his hand occasionally touching her lower back, Kayla realized what the light yet constricting feeling was in her chest. She was happy, Negan made her happy. And almost as soon as she thought it with a smile, her face became stricken because Kayla couldn't help but dread when she'd lose it. It was the way of the world, nothing lasted forever.

* * *

When they arrived at Alexandria they were met with dozens of dead bodies, all biters put down by the Saviors tasked of clearing the woods. With the skin wearing freaks still herding the undead towards settlements, the Saviors where having to clean up frequently when making pick ups. If Negan wanted them to continue providing for Sanctuary he had to keep them alive, worker bees weren't any good to the hive if dead.

Rick requested a visit from Sanctuary's leader and Negan was happy to oblige but for reasons beyond Kayla, he wanted her to be there. She wasn't sure what the man's game plan was but she felt she was the furthest thing from being an unbiased mediator.

Rick greeted them, his face now taken over with a beard, his face gaunt. She felt an unfamiliar pang of empathy for the man. Grinding her teeth she reminded herself, 'He killed Shane.'

"Prick!" Negan announced, his grin wide as waved Lucille in greeting. "Good to see you  _my_  man."

Rick stood with his hands on his narrow hips, a scowl still visible under the graying hair. "Negan. Kayla." Nodding to her leg he drawled, "Heard ya broke it. Doing a'right?"

Raising an eyebrow, she replied despite thinking he was trying to con her with fake concern, "Couple more weeks and I'll be good as new."

Smiling he smoothed his beard and rasped, "s'good."

She could feel his eyes looking them both over and couldn't help but feel as if he were seeing straight through them. Her eyes connected with his and she could tell Rick could see the difference in their relationship now, a deeper scowl creasing his face. Turning away from him, Kayla let him stare at the scarred side of her face instead, the jagged lines a facade of strength.

"So Pricky, you wanted to see me. Here I am in all my king dick glory. How may I be of assistance?" Negan grandstanded, his eyes scanning the frowning crowd with a huge grin. "I am after all, here to  _help_."

Kayla bit her cheek to keep the snicker from escaping as Rick huffed out a frustrated breath, "We need to talk. Could we head inside for a moment?"

Negan chuckled a little and pointed Lucille at him before waving it towards the house behind them. "After you,  _friend."_

Once inside the trio sat in the living room, Kayla perching on the arm of a chair while Negan lounged on the sofa, his legs spread and arms across the back of the cushions. He was taking up as much space as he could in the room, his presence looming despite his seated position. Rick picked another armchair, his back straight and arms crossed. Kayla couldn't help but recognize the two very different men, Negan being relaxed and ready, while Rick wound himself tight and defensive.

"The Skinwalkers are becoming too big of a problem. We have to be able to defend ourselves." Rick began his eyes staying on Negan as he spoke, "We'd like to have some of our weaponry back."

Negan snickered and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees. "That's fucking funny, I thought you were aware that it isn't your weaponry, its mine. All of it is."

Rick ground his teeth, his jaw working under the giant beard. "That being said we still need weapons to defend ourselves."

"I believe all the dead bodies out there were killed by my men. We are doing our goddamn jobs. We kill the deadfucks, you get me shit. That's been the deal. Economics 101 Prick, goods for services rendered."

Rick huffed out a breath and stayed silent a moment, the man looking for his next angle. Kayla cocked an eyebrow as his posture sagged, his elbows going to his knees as he spoke softer, "We appreciate what your men have done for us."

Negan grinned, leaning forward and cupping his ear. "What was that again?"

Rick swallowed thickly and he repeated, "We appreciate what  _you've_  done for us."

"That's better and good to fucking know." Negan drawled, sitting back to stretch his arms out again as he quipped, "It doesn't mean I am loaning you any of my guns."

Kayla shifted on the armchair and wanted to chime in but wasn't sure what her boundaries were in the current situation.

"Speak." Negan drawled interrupting her inner turmoil.

"We could limit their ammunition to be good for one minor herd problem. A weekly allowance. We have their bullet maker, they won't be making anymore." She offered as a mediated suggestion, looking at Negan rather than Rick. Her concern wasn't for upsetting Rick but Negan, she didn't want to push something that would anger him or step on his toes.

Negan grinned, his arms crossing as he complimented himself, "I knew I was right about bringing you. Alright but there's a few conditions."

Rick nodded and asked, his voice cautious "What are they?"

"One, I will be placing a group of Saviors as in house security." Negan commented, a sly smirk curling his lips. "You know, just in case you decide to get into any shenanigans."

Rick looked irritated at the comment but nodded despite it, only requesting, "If possible could you pick people less prone to violence? There have been some issues during pickups where excessive force has been used."

Negan grinned and drawled, "Theres no such thing as excessive force Prick. That's the point of forcing someone to do something."

"During the pick up one of your men punched a pregnant woman in the face when she wanted to keep her prenatal vitamins."

Negan's eyes narrowed at the statement, Kayla seeing a hint of disgust at the knowledge but he couldn't show such a weakness. "Well I suppose he was thinking of the woman in Sanctuary that are knocked up."

"It was excessive. You and I both know it." Rick growled, his eyes becoming brighter and angrier.

Kayla clenched her teeth and waited for the men to stop glaring at each other. Tentatively she offered, "I'm sure we can pick some of our more stable Saviors. It would benefit us both to not have bullshit drama happening for no reason."

Negan turned his glare to her but soon it simmered, "Fine. I have some people in mind that won't be missed."

Kayla couldn't help but swallow thickly at the words, the woman knowing she was going to hear about her statement later.

"Your other conditions?"

The next words out of Negan's mouth had Kayla reeling, his request the furthest thing she would've thought he'd require. "Kayla gets visitations with Judith, without you being a prick about it Pricky. Kid is her blood."

Rick's brow furrowed as he glanced at Kayla as if checking to see if she put him up to the request. Her face must have clued him in on her own shock. Nodding slightly he offered, "We can work out a schedule but Judith doesn't leave these walls. Kay will have to come here."

"Easy Peasy." Negan drawled, a grin breaking across his face. "Lastly, you bring me Daryl. I don't tolerate deserters."

Rick looked incensed by the demand and immediately denied knowing anything. "I don't know where he is."

"Don't fucking lie to me dipshit." Negan spoke with a chuckle although there was little humor in his eyes, "You seem to think I'm a goddamn clueless dumbshit. I know you know where he is, you two are blood brothers or some shit and there's no fucking way he didn't come running back to you."

"I don't know where he is." Rick snarled, his hands fisted. "I can't give you what I don't have."

Kayla shrugged when Negan glanced at her, leaving it up to him. She didn't know what to think but figured Rick was lying.

"Fine." Negan growled, "If I find out you're lying or I find him hiding under your goddamn bed, I will gut your friends while you watch. If you thought what I did to the big ginger fuck and your little token Asian was bad, you will shit your pants when you see what I'll do. I will shut that shit down and you'll be nothing but a giant puddle of piss and tears when I'm done. Got me?"

Rick stared at him for a solid second before nodding stiffly. "I got it."

"Good." Negan exclaimed with a bright grin, standing to his full height and stretching with a groan. "Now that is decided we are going to do a quick search for your boyfriend and see if there's anything worth taking and be on our way."

Rick agreed without much argument, his jaw tight but mouth blessedly silent. Kayla followed Negan with a slight limp as her foot ached from the over use. Exiting onto the porch, Negan ordered his men to do a quick sweep for Daryl and supplies but shouted, "Any of you fucks decide its appropriate to hit pregnant women will be informed of Lucille's thoughts on the matter." He eyes scanned his men as he twirled the brutal bat with his wrist.

Kayla smirked as the men nodded before scurrying off before he decided to figure out just who did it. Standing next to Negan, Kayla propped her foot on the railing to relieve the pressure. "You should sit down and put it up." He murmured quietly, "I should've had you put it up inside."

"Don't worry about it." She remarked with a roll of the shoulder. "It's fine."

"Not as fine as your ass." He quipped, leaning on the railing with Lucille resting on his shoulder, his hip pressed into hers.

"Shuddup." She muttered, glancing at him out of the corner of her eye. Kayla couldn't help but check him out as he stood next to her. She couldn't admit it out loud but the fact that he was in control of such a large territory, that he could give a group of hardened, life worn men a look and cause them running to please him, turned her on. Negan was aggressive and intelligent, a total alpha male and she couldn't help but want him for it. She figured she should be embarrassed of the weakness to want someone to take care of her, she just wasn't.

"Giving me a chubby looking at me through your eyelashes like that doll." Negan drawled quietly, his head turning to gaze at her. She smirked coyly and teased, "Sounds like a personal problem."

"A personal problem that I'm gonna bury inside you if you keep it up."

Kayla laughed lightly before she swallowed it, seeing Rick watch them. Gritting her teeth she turned away, putting her back to the man on the street. Negan chuckled and stood upright next to her. "Pricky getting to you?"

"He knows."

"Knows what?"

"About us." She replied softly, her eyes jetting around to the others.

"So fucking what. He's probably just goddamn jealous. Have you seen the frumpy bitches here?" Negan replied, his eyes narrowing as he looked at the other man as if trying to decipher what Rick was thinking.

"I just don't want him to know." She muttered, shrugging before changing the subject. "What was with the visitation request?"

"I know you're sad about not knowing her." Negan spoke quietly, his eyes avoiding hers while looking uncomfortable, "I heard you that day… saying goodbye and you shouldn't have to. This world is fucked enough."

Kayla peered up at him and smiled softly. "Thank you."

"You're fucking welcome…. I take gas, grass or ass." He quipped with a cheshire grin. "You know what I prefer though."

Rolling her eyes as he chuckled, she muttered, "I'm going to go to the truck and put my foot up. They should be done soon, these fuckers don't have much."

"Alright." He replied, tipping his chin towards Rick. "I'm going to go over what his allowance will be."

"Were you ok with that suggestion?"

"I don't do shit that I don't want to do." Negan said, his white teeth showing, "You know me, doll. No means no."

* * *

Kayla sat in the truck cab, her foot propped on the dashboard as Rick approached. He had finished speaking with Negan, who was now surveying what his men collected. Looking the man over she commented, "you look like shit Rick."

A dry laugh escaped him as he commented, "thanks."

Smirking she looked away, her cheek ticking as she felt crushing loss. Kayla missed having brothers. She missed Shane but it was almost harder to lose Rick because he stood right there. Shane had been gone years now, enough time that she had begun to forget what he looked like. Her adoptive brother was in arms reach but might as well have been on the moon.

"Carl said he didn't make those scars.. that true?" He rasped, leaning against the door. Kayla glanced at him, her cheek flushing as his too blue eyes drilled into her.

"It wasn't him." She responded quietly.

"Who was it?"

"It doesn't matter. I'm fine and they're dead." Kayla spoke firmly, her eyes snapping to his. "Even if he had, don't pretend to give a shit. I'd deserve it right?"

"No." He rasped, "you wouldn't and I'd care… I do care."

Shaking her head she ground her teeth and ignored the honesty in his gaze. "Whatever." She muttered, picking at her nails.

"Do you want to see her before you go?" Rick asked quietly, his eyes dipping to see Kayla's own. Glancing up, she chewed her cheek trying to decide if she could deal with more emotional turmoil. Sighing she forced herself out of the truck, her brother's fading face flashing behind her eyes. She couldn't avoid knowing her niece just because it hurt. Kayla needed to be stronger than that. Nodding once she climbed out of the truck to follow him inside.

* * *

Kayla heard the commotion when the trucks pulled inside Sanctuary. The Saviors had gone to meet up with a group seen a few dozen miles away. Negan needed to recruit more bodies, the skin wearing freaks having killed off too many Saviors. She'd been speaking to Michael near the parking lot when shouts about getting someone to the doctor reached her ears.

"Shit." She muttered, striding towards the group as they shuffled a body inside. A splash of red trailed behind them. The faces she met as the others disappeared inside, were ones of shock and confusion.

"What happened?" She demanded, her eyes finding Keith's. Shaking his head he informed, "Got hit by the skin jobs. Boss took a knife in the gut."

A cold sensation flooded her body as her eyes widen in shock. The words instilled mind-numbing fear to cement her boots to the ground, Kayla's gaze finding Michael's.

"Go." He grunted, "I'll be right there."

Moving quickly on her still casted foot, Kayla navigated the hallways with a wildly pounding heart. She followed the trail of blood drips and crimson red boot prints. Every drop had her breathing faster and harder, her feet tripping over themselves as panic began to take over. By the time she reached the office she could barely see through the black spots cloudy her fear driven eyes. Bursting in she found Javier and Simon helping the doctor hold Negan down while the man tried to repair his side. A deep gash was weeping blood all over the bed as the doctor tried to clamp some gushing source inside him.

"Get over here." The doctor ordered, grabbing her wrist tightly. "You have smaller hands, come here."

Gasping she began shaking her head as the doctor told her she needed to help clamp some artery or Negan would die. Her ears were buzzing as her hands were doused in alcohol and shoved inside gloves. Pointing the injury out to her, the doctor shoved a tool in her hand.

"Now Kay. Now or he's dying!" He shouted, opening the wound wider to direct her shaking hands. It took a moment of total terror before the source of the bleeding was clamped and then cauterized. She kept looking at Negan's slack face, his skin chalky and forehead sweaty.

"He needs blood. I need some A positive donors." Doc commented as he began sewing up the wound. Kayla's latex covered hands were soaked in blood, her eyes wide and lungs desperate. He could be dying in front of her, bleeding to death. She couldn't help but think of all the time she lost to be with him by resisting for so long.

Pulling the gloves off she threw them in the trash and exited the room, her breathing far to fast to be helpful. Michael was suddenly in front of her, his hands holding her shoulders and voice murmuring into her ear. She couldn't understand what he was saying but the tone of his voice was slow and soft, the gruffness too similar to Negan's. It felt comforting at first but then tears welled up in her eyes and her throat began to close because she realized she might never hear Negan speak again.

"Shhhh." Michael's lips were resting against her ear as she broke down. She pressed her forehead into his shoulder as he moved them away from everyone else. Kayla could feel stares but had no way to hold her turmoil in, there was no going back, her dam had broken.

"Easy Kay. Easy." Her friend murmured, his arms wrapping her tightly into his chest. They hadn't been that close since they'd slept together but his embrace felt comforting and familiar.

"Count Kay." Michael instructed, his hand sliding up and down her back.

They stood for a solid fifteen minutes until Kayla finally breathed easily. Pulling back she wiped her face clean and muttered and apology. "Sorry I snotted all over you."

"No worries. You can do my laundry this week."

Smacking his shoulder, Kayla took in a slow deep breath before releasing it, the calming effect allowing her a clear head.

"Go be with him. I'll bring you some dinner later."

Smiling sadly, Kayla nodded before returning to the doctor's office. Negan was propped in the bed, his abdomen wrapped in white gauze, blood seeping through near the newly sewn wound. Tubing ran into his arm as the doctor began replacing his lost blood. Kayla pulled a chair over and sat down next to the bed. His hand was resting on the mattress, her desire to hold it, overpowering her need to keep them hidden. Cupping his cool palm with both hers, Kayla leaned forward and pressed her lips against his knuckles. "Wake up you dumb asshole." She muttered while looking at his bruised eyes, her chest clenching painfully at his every weakened breath. Kayla had never felt so helpless before, so fearful. So weak.


	15. Chapter 15

Kayla's face was resting on the bed, her forehead pressed against Negan's hip and her fingers still woven between his. She'd been dozing off and on all evening, her head pounding with a stress headache and her eyes heavy with exhaustion. The sun wasn't up just yet when Kayla woke to fingers curling into her hair, the familiar sensation making her nuzzle into the closest warmth. She began to fall asleep again until the memory of hot blood on her palms and Negan's belly split open had her lids rising instantly.

Negan's eyes were barely open, the bruising almost hiding his squinted gaze.

"Knew you liked me." He rasped, the sound almost painful to hear. Kayla had never heard him sound so fragile.

"Don't get your hopes up, I'm here for the jello." She murmured, her eyes scanning every inch of him. A weak smile curled his lips, his hand squeezing their woven fingers together rather than retort.

"How are you feeling?"

"Fucktastic." He croaked, "you?"

"I'm serious." Kayla muttered, standing up to look over the gauze wrapping his stomach. There wasn't any more blood seeping through the bandages, which meant they had successfully repaired the injury at least. Now he needed to recoup his blood and fight any possible infection.

"Hurts like a bitch." He finally replied, his eyes closed and hand resting on top of the wound.

"I'll get the Doc." She offered only to stop as he caught her wrist.

"Not yet." The injured man murmured, tugging on her arm weakly, "C'mere."

Scooting closer to the bed, Kayla leaned over Negan without putting any pressure on him. Sliding her hand along his scruffy jaw, she kissed him gently on the lips before pressing her forehead against his. They stared at each other for a long moment, Kayla noticing how open his expression was. He wasn't someone to let his guard down often but she could see how much the event had affected him. It was too close and she hadn't been the only one thinking he was going to die.

"Don't fucking do that again." Kayla muttered quietly, her eyes burning with tears. Negan's large hand cupped her neck, his grip light but warming. "Don't cry." he whispered, his calloused thumb brushing across her cheek. "Hate when you cry sweetheart."

"Well stop almost dying, jackass." She replied with a sigh, sitting down Kayla squeezed his hand. "You should get some more sleep." she instructed, brushing hair from his forehead to feel for fever. Her wrist lay there as his eyes dropped closed. The skin was still cool to the touch but his color was coming back. Looking back to his eyes she found him sleeping again, his breathing still quiet but less ragged.

Sitting back in her chair, Kayla crossed her arms and took several deep breaths. She needed to get her head on straight and buckle her emotions back up. No one needed to see her weeping at Negan's bedside.

* * *

Kayla was reading a book next Negan, the man still sleeping deeply at noon the next day. When the door opened and Sherry popped her head inside, Kayla shifted uncomfortably. Emily followed her in, the girl red eyed and exhausted looking. It was odd to see someone else affected by Negan's injured state.

"How is he?" Sherry asked, her eyes placid but body coiled tight. Kayla wasn't sure if she cared for Negan or was more concerned for her free ride, either way she seemed troubled at the sight of him so vulnerable.

"Better. No fever."

"Has he woken yet?"

"A little last night." Kayla replied, her fists clenching with the desire to keep him to herself. She didn't want other women involved in his life, she was feeling selfish and more than a little protective. Emily wrung her hands, as she looked Negan over, her eyes flicking to Kayla's tense face. Grinding her teeth she gave in to assure his newest wife, "He's going to be fine. He's too damn stubborn to die from some pussy knife wound."

Sherry looked at her in surprise as Emily sniffled. A rough voice had all three women looking towards the bed. "She's right. It'd be way cooler."

Kayla smirked at his words and tired grin, his eyes flickering over the other women before returning her. Emily lurched forward, her head pressing into his chest as she cried. Negan grunted as his body reacted to the pressure.

"Easy kid." He muttered, patting her a few times on the back. Kayla couldn't help but feel relief at his obvious awkwardness. There was no familiarity between them, nothing like they had.

Emily returned to Sherry's side, the older woman wrapping and arm around her.

"Go on back to the apartment." He instructed, "no roaming around until I'm outta here. Got it?"

The women nodded before exiting the doctor's office to return to their rooms. Kayla stayed quiet as Negan shifted in his bed with a groan. He muttered a few curses before he spoke loud enough for her to hear, "I gotta take a piss."

Kayla raised an eyebrow and looked around for some kind of help. The doctor was at lunch, the man having spent all night monitoring Negan, had only been gone a half hour, he wouldn't be back anytime soon.

"Uhhh." She muttered before looking at the bathroom. "You can't get out of bed yet."

"Help me up or I'm crawling the fuck over there." he grumbled before hissing in pain as he stretched his stitches trying to sit up. Kayla leapt forward, her hands holding him still. "You're gonna hurt yourself."

"I'm gonna piss my pants is what's gonna happen." He grunted, his weakened state unable to break her grasp as she kept him from rising. Kayla growled but helped him sit on the edge of his bed. He swayed a moment until she held him close to her side. Wrapping an arm around his back, Kayla gripped his elbow as he held his middle.

"Ok, lean on me, I'll keep you upright just don't use your stomach." She instructed before using her knees to support his shaking form. Gritting her teeth she locked her knees and took the brunt of his weight as they shuffled. They moved slowly, Negan's fingers digging into her shoulder too keep from falling.

"Fuck." He grunted as they made it into the bathroom.

"No shit. " she huffed, blowing her bangs out of her eyes, "I'll hold you up as you do your business but not a word of this ever again."

"What, you're not gonna hold it for me doll?" He chuckled only to hiss in pain from the action.

"Karma's bitch." She quipped, her hand shoving his flannel pants down. Looking to the side, she felt him shift his arm and then the sound of him relieving himself.

"Goddamn ain't that nice." He groaned once done, his chin dropping to his chest with exhaustion.

Kayla snorted and helped him right his clothing before walking them back to the bed. As he got settled the doctor came in with a frown. "What the hell are you doing up?" He demanded, his hands pulling back the bandage to see if the stitches were damaged. Kayla rolled her eyes as he fussed over the wound while scolding them.

"Shut your trap Doc. I had to piss." Negan barked causing the man to sputter to a stop. Kayla sat down on the edge of his bed after he was comfortable and asked, "what do you feel like eating?"

"Nothing." He grunted, his eyes closing and mouth grimaced.

"You've got too."

"I don't have to do anything." He snapped, his eyes angry. Kayla glared back at him and replied, "Don't be a big pussy. You're going to eat something or I'm jamming it down your throat."

"You wanna say that again doll? I'm not too broken to kick your ass." He sneered, his hand holding his middle as he hurt himself.

Kayla clenched her teeth and tried to count away the irritation because she knew what it was like to feel like shit and not want anyone pestering you. "You need to eat. I'm going to go get something."

"I don't need you sitting here. I'm fucking fine." He grumbled, his eyes shifting away from her as she continued to stare.

"I'm trying to help."

"I don't need your fucking help." He barked, his face cold.

Her eyes narrowed at the statement and she couldn't stop the sudden burst of rage. Kayla wasn't sure if it were because of the stress or the fact he had almost died but her fuse was instantly gone.

"That sure as fuck wasn't true yesterday!" She shouted while standing up to tower over his bed, pointing at his wound. "You think you're healing on your goddamn own fuckface?" Pacing the floor she growled, "Jesus Christ you needed help taking a piss fifteen minutes ago." Speaking in a mocking voice, "I'm fine. I don't need any help. Blah fucking blah."

Stopping suddenly, Kayla looked him over silently as he glared at her before she muttered, "you know what... I'm gonna go. You're fine. You're right. I'm not needed here."

Leaving without waiting for his response, Kayla headed to the cafeteria for her own meal. She hadn't eaten since the day before when Michael brought her a small meal. Her stomach turned though from her argument with Negan. 'Jackass.' She grumbled inwardly, shaking her head at the man's bullheadedness.

* * *

Kayla was working a shift in the factory, dissembling machinery long unused. They needed the space and the parts to help with Negan's new ammunitions side project. With the egghead brought over from Alexandria, Negan would soon be in control of the only known working ammunition plant. It was a game changer, one that other groups and outsiders would come to fear.

Wiping her forehead with a rag, she climbed off the giant rig when Keith called her name. Hopping down she dropped her drill in the toolbox and wandered over through the piles of supplies.

"Yeah?" She asked looking over the nervous man next to the other Savior. Eugene was a giant coward, something he admitted wholeheartedly but he did have balls in some respects. It took a huge set to admit to making a bullet that was meant to kill Negan. Even bigger to admit it to the devil's face.

"He's got a list. You've been parting it out yeah?"

Nodding she pulled out a notebook she used to keep tally of every part, bolt, nut and washer. It was over kill but it had kept her mind off the infuriating man upstairs. Eugene looked it over with a scowl, his eyes flicking to her after every page turn. "Are you aware of your obsessive compulsive tendencies? I could make a strong argument to say this is the most methodical looking ledger I've encountered and I worked at an accounting firm one semester."

Kayla glowered at him and snapped, "every fucking piece matters. If we don't know what we have, how the fuck are we gonna know what we need?"

Eugene stared slack jawed and sweaty as she sneered at him. Turning her attention to an amused Keith she asked, "Is there anything else? I have shit to do."

"Nah. Kay that's all." He replied with a chuckle causing her to huff out an irritated breath.

"Fuck off." She grunted, grabbing her tools and returning to the tall piece of equipment. Once on top she sat down, grabbing her water to gulp away her anger. She was hyper annoyed at everyone and everything, especially the man plaguing her mind.

Negan's refusal to accept help had driven her into a rage and she'd given up after the argument about food. Sherry had found her hours later saying Negan had been a dick all day, the ornery man refusing not only food but take pain meds. She tried to get Kayla to return to the doctor's office but the equally stubborn woman refused. It was then she decided to take on the giant under taking by herself. Sighing she put her water and snack away before getting back to work.

* * *

Climbing the endless stairs to Negan's apartment, Kayla decided she was going to take advantage of his shower. She didn't think he'd care but she felt a jolt of mischief by going to his room without him. Passing the large space used by the wives as a living area, Kayla was stopped by Emily, her timid voice calling her name.

Biting her cheek Kayla wondered if the petite girl was going to question why she thought she could come and go into Negan's room as she pleased. Tensing, she waited for the redhead to speak, the quiet girl shifting uncomfortably before she asked, "is he gonna be okay.. for real?"

Cocking an eyebrow at the almost childlike tone and expression, Kayla realized why Negan had been so adamant to protect Emily. She was obviously fragile, a weak little bird but not in anyway she could overcome. Kayla could tell she was a grown woman but with the mind of an adolescent. Nodding she tried to think of what to say when she was saved by Sherry.

"Emily? Can you help Mere finish dinner?" Sherry spoke gently, her hand touching Emily's elbow when she didn't answer. "Go on sweetie."

Once the redhead scurried away Sherry spoke quietly. "She's special."

Kayla nodded but didn't speak, her mind unsure of what was appropriate. Shifting uncomfortably she was about to walk away when Sherry spoke again.

"He finally took pain meds."

Kayla pursed her lips and fought the urge to snap out an angry retort but settled on something more controlled. "Good for him."

Sherry chuckled and raised a manicured eyebrow. "Back to this, are we?"

"I don't know what you're talking about." Kayla grumbled, crossing her arms. "He's my boss and sometimes we're friends. Most of the time he just pisses me off."

"There's no need to lie." The other woman said, shrugging her shoulder. "Look we're just all happy to get him off our backs."

Kayla narrowed her eyes at the ungrateful statement. "You all agreed to it. Don't act like he wasn't up front with the fucking arrangement and how about a little gratitude. You sit around on your fucking asses while he's out getting stabbed."

"No... that's not..." Sherry shook her head and muttered, "look it's not about the sex."

"I don't want to fucking hear about your sex life with him." Kayla snarled, her eyes now burning with fury. He had all but promised he wasn't going to sleep with the wives anymore but god knows she'd been fooled before. She was dreading the next words out of the woman's mouth, fear that the man's possible lie was about to be exposed.

"Kayla." Sherry snapped, grabbing her arm as Kayla tried to leave. "Stop. Listen to me. There is no sex life between us. I meant we were happy he stopped being such a grumpy asshole. The last few days before this he was actually... happy. It was weird at first but then I saw you leaving his room one morning and realized you two had finally pulled your heads out of your asses."

Kayla's mouth dropped open. "What do you mean no sex life? For like.. how long?"

"Months. I mean me and him haven't been together since-."

"Stop." Kayla barked, shaking her head at even the thought of them fucking, even if it were dozens of years ago it would still irk her.

"Sorry." Sherry muttered, shaking her head a little at the tension. "You have nothing to worry about. There's been nothing physical for awhile now."

Kayla's shoulders slumped a bit, relief flooding her but then irritation bubbled up. Negan had played it off as if he were stopping for her, not that he had discontinued long before.

"That little prick." She growled under her breath.

"What?"

"Nothing.. nevermind. Look... he isn't going to kick you all out or anything. He's a man of his word."

"I know." Sherry spoke with a look of fear in her eyes. "He keeps his promises."

Kayla sort of wanted to know what the look meant, or the tone but also had no desire to know. It wasn't her business and if she were being honest, she didn't really give a rat's ass about Negan's wives. She could only drum up sympathy for Emily, the girl obviously unable to care for herself, needed Negan. All the other women seemed like useless wastes of space.

"Gonna go shower and then head down to see him." She muttered, turning to walk away.

"Oh. He's in bed... he insisted."

Kayla frowned and asked, "Doc let him move?"

"Doc didn't have a choice." Sherry replied with an amused smirk. Rolling her eyes, Kayla headed towards Negan's bedroom thankful to know what to expect. Opening the door she slide inside to find him lying in bed, his body propped on pillows and legs covered with a large comforter.

"Bout fucking time." He voice crackled, his eyes narrowed as she stepped closer. "Where the fuck were you?"

"You made it clear I was hassling you, so I worked all day."

"Doing what?" He asked with a scrunched nose, "you look like shit dipped in motor oil."

"Gee thanks sweetheart." She snarked, sitting down to remove her boots. "Someone has to disassemble all that equipment for your side project."

"You started that?" Negan asked with a furrowed brow.

"Started two and finished one. Tomorrow I'll work on the last of it, maybe get to a third." Kayla spoke while unlacing her boots and pulling off her leather jacket, her words more to herself than him. "Eugene is going over my inventory and we'll figure out what else is needed. Maybe hit up that machinist shop in Riverdale." When he didn't speak, Kayla peered over at him to see a strange look on his face.

"What?"

"I'm just surprised you got to work on it. I thought I'd have to ride everybody's asses to get it done."

"It was easy. Take shit apart and write shit down."

"Yeah well... thanks." He murmured, tipping his chin to the bathroom. "Go wash up and we can eat dinner. There's food on the bar."

Nodding, Kayla shuffled into the bathroom without looking back, still irritated by his outburst earlier in the day and speaking to Sherry. Hoping a long hot shower helped, Kayla stood with her forehead pressed into the tiled wall as the water fixture pounded on her back. Taking in deep breathes she helped the steam clear her system of all the shit of the day. Her skin was pink and clean, her pores scrubbed and hair detangled. Kayla's lungs felt swept of all the dust she had breathed in all day, the dry nodes soothed by moist heat.

The best part though was the quiet calm flooding her mind. The argument that morning, her anxiety about the wives, the constant questions about if she were making a mistake getting involved with the charismatic man, none of it mattered. What mattered was that the dumb bastard was still alive. He could be dead, Kayla could be mourning him right then but she wasn't. He was just feet away and she should just be thankful they could argue at all.

Shutting the water off, Kayla hopped out with purpose and dried off quickly, tucking the towel around her body. Yanking the door open she stomped out and surprised the injured man. His eyebrows were high as an amused smirk curled his lips. "Doll-?"

"Shut up." She growled, striding over to the side of the bed as she drilled holes into him. "Close your mouth for once and listen to me."

Negan's brow furrowed, his mouth opening to speak only to stop at Kayla's pointed look.

"You almost died. You were dying." She hissed, her churning emotion causing her voice to rise and quiver. Closing her eyes she sucked in a deep breath and then slowly made eye contact with him. "I don't want to waste anymore time being pissed off or whatever. You were a dick this morning, apologize." She demanded, her eyebrow raised as she crossed her arms.

"Excuse me?"

"Apologize." She repeated motioning with her hand. "Go on."

Negan shook his head before laughing quietly, his hand pressing on his wound to keep from pulling the muscles. "Fuck, you're hilarious."

"Negan. I'm fucking serious. Apologize so we can move on to better things. Like you being alive and me standing here in nothing but a towel."

His smile brightened as he let his eyes slid down her damp form, her hair dripping down her shoulders and chest. She could practically feel his dark irises stroking her damp skin exposed to the cool air. Heat rolled through her body as her skin turned to goose bumps. There wasn't anything in the whole world she wanted more than to slid into his lap and have him fill her to the brim. Squeezing her thighs together she chewed her lip to keep from jumping into bed with him.

Clearing his throat, Negan drawled, "I apologize for being an asshole. Now… let me see what's under that towel."

Kayla laughed, her eyes playful. "Not gonna be that easy."

"C'mere." He purred, his hand out reaching to tug at the hem of the soft cotton. "Come to Daddy."

"Oh my god, don't say that."

"Why, because you like it?" He asked with a snicker before continuing his teasing tone, "Come on babygirl and climb up here with Daddy."

Rolling her eyes she circled the bed and rooted through his dresser for a shirt.

"You need to just get your shit put here."

"You asking me to move in?" Kayla asked, with a teasing grin, dropping the towel.

"Fuck." He groaned, his eyes taking in her bare breasts and long legs, "You're killing me. No.. don't get dressed."

Pulling the shirt over her head, she didn't bother with underwear, his giant shirt falling on her thigh. "Are you?"

"Am I what?" He murmured, his hand adjusting his dick while watching her crawl into bed on her hands and knees.

"Asking me to move in?"

Negan finally looked at her, his lip curling, "I just figured you'd stop wearing all my clothes if your shit was here."

"You like when I wear your shit. Admit it."

Grunting he slowly smiled, "Yeah, you're right. Now doll... I couldn't help but notice the lack of panties under there... is that for any  _particular_  fucking reason?"

"Don't start, you're broken right now."

"I'm not suggesting I go balls deep but I can use my hands… and tongue." He drawled, wiggling his eyebrows. "Why don't you climb up here and let me taste that sweet, sweet pussy."

Biting her cheek she swallowed a moan at the thought of his tongue buried between her legs.

"Let's have dinner first." She offered, hopping off the bed to grab the tray of food waiting for them. Kneeling on the end of the bed she arrange the plates to be within his reach, the man ignoring the food.

"What? You need to eat."

"I want to eat but it's nothing on that goddamn plate. Now, spread those thighs baby." He murmured, the timbre of his voice stomach clenching. Her mouth parted and she felt as if a heavy weight lay on her chest. Panting shallowly, she couldn't help but obey, the man's dark gaze spurring her on. Sliding her knees apart along the blanket, the shirt she wore raised up her hips to pool at her waist. Kayla's cheeks burned with embarrassment as Negan stared wantonly at her exposed core.

"Kay." He moaned, gripping his groin "get your sexy ass up here and sit on my face."

"You're too hurt," she murmured, her own hand moving to cup herself as the throb became too much to ignore. The growl that grew from him had her cheeks burning hotter and heart racing. It was animalistic, rabid and wanting.

"Fuck, fine. Let me watch you." He moaned, his hand sliding into his boxers as she teased herself. Sliding her finger along the wet folds, her bottom lip bitten raw between her teeth. "Like this?" She gasped, the pad of her finger circling her clit, teasing the plump bundle.

"Yeah babygirl." He rasped, swallowing thickly as she played lazily in front of him just out of reach. "Fuck, doll. Come a little closer."

"Nuhuh." She muttered, moaning a little as she sunk her middle finger inside. "You've been bad."

"I already apologized." He grumbled, his hand stroking his dick slowly under the blanket, his throat bobbing as he watched her hands smooth over wet skin.

"Yeah but you did something else that was naughty." Kayla murmured, her head thrown back as another finger joined her tight walls with a steady rhythm.

"How?" He growled, his eyes drilling holes into her as she worked herself over.

Kayla rolled her hips seductively, her soaked fingers glistening as she rubbed tight circles around her clit. "You didn't tell me you'd stopped fucking your wives awhile ago... you made it seem like you stopped for me."

Negan was quiet a moment before laughing. "You're mad that I'm not fucking my wives now?"

Shaking her head, Kayla explained, "I'm mad you made it seem like you stopped because you cared about my feelings, but really you stopped for whatever reason. Probably boredom."

Negan's eyes narrowed and he stopped stroking himself, his hard on forgotten despite its demanding height under the sheet.

"You can't be mad at me for not fucking them, when you'd be mad if I was." He grumbled, before adding, "besides I stopped fucking them because of you anyways."

"No you stopped awhile ago. Sherry told me."

"Yeah well Sherry should shut her fucking mouth and stick to what she knows. Washing my dirty underwear and cleaning my fucking toilet." He snapped, his eyes going to the door as if thinking about leaving to confront the woman.

Kayla gave up touching herself and said, "so explain it. Why'd you lie."

Rolling his eyes he raked a hand through his hair and muttered, "I didn't lie. I told you I wouldn't fuck them anymore. I'm not fucking them."

"But-."

"No buts." He snapped before smirking a little grin curling his lips, "well just yours." Wiggling his eyebrows he motioned for her. "C'mere and let me finish what you started. I can see you're soaked."

"Why did you stop?"

"Ugh." He moaned in frustration, his eyes glaring at the ceiling. "What's with women always wanting to talk. Can't we just get off and eat some food silently?"

Kayla glared at him, pulling her shirt down to cover her nude lower half. Negan sighed deeply, rubbing his eyes roughly before giving in to explain, "I stopped fucking them months ago because it got too hard to keep pretending I was fucking you. Okay?!" His voice rose as continued to rant, "I couldn't keep my eyes closed long enough to pull it off. Every time one of them touched me, I wanted it to be you. All their stupid fucking voices, weak little bodies and rank perfume. I couldn't ignore how much I wanted you climbing all over my dick, not some spoiled little bitches looking for a free ride. Okay?" He snapped, crossing his arms and he glared at her. "Feel better? Huh?"

Kayla stared at him as he huffed out an irritated breath, the man obviously annoyed with having to expose his feelings and weakness.

"Yeah." She murmured, crawling towards him with a coy grin, "I do. That's all I wanted."

"Why?"

"Because I wanted to know if you were only wanting me because you got bored with all your other toys. That you wouldn't just get sick of me once we finally fucked." She explained quietly, kissing his lips chastely before whispering into his mouth, "That I'm not going to end up tossed aside when some other nice piece of ass comes along."

Negan's eyes softened at her confession, his hand cupping her cheek. "You're not a toy and there's no way in fuck that I'll get tired of you."

Leaning into him, Kayla was careful to not put pressure on his wound. Kissing him softly, her tongue gliding along the seam of his lips caused a deep moan to escape his throat.

"You gonna keep up the show because you were just getting to the good part." He rasped against her neck, licking and suck at her wildly beating pulse point.

Nodding into his shoulder Kayla sat back, pulling her shirt off completely. With hooded eyes, she stretched out on her back, her knees raised as her hands dipped between her thighs. Negan's reached forward, pressing one leg to the mattress, opening her up to watch her fingers work as his hand stroked her ankle.

"Goddamn." He murmured, his palm moving faster under the blanket as she arched her back off the bed. Kayla was wound tight, her stomach taut at the knowledge he'd wanted her and only her for a long time. Knowing he couldn't even be with someone else without pretending it was her.

His eyes were on fire, the dark pools soaking up every swirl of her fingers and dip of her knuckles. "Doll." He growled, his teeth clenched, "slide up here sweetheart. Let me help."

Moaning Kayla shook her head and sunk three fingers inside her heat, pretending it was Negan's hot dick spreading her wide. Her breathing was frantic, her eyes peeling open as Negan ordered, "Look at me babygirl. Let daddy see you cum."

The words flipped a switch, the demanding tone fueling the flames smoldering inside her. Gasping as she shuddered, her body rolling in waves as she continued to move slick fingers inside and around her wet lips. Her eyes connected with Negan's as his orgasm spilled onto his hand, the expression of pleasure tinged with pain. Sitting up she kissed him deeply, her hands gripping his hair. Pulling her hand from his hair, Negan slid her damp fingers into his mouth with a groan. "Fuck. Next time I'm going to the source doll."

Kayla blushed, her chest rising shallowly. "Okay." She murmured, her eyes going to his stomach and the large palm he had pressed to his wound. "Did you hurt yourself?"

Negan grunted, rolling a shoulder while closing his eyes. "Don't know. Don't care."

Peeling his hand away, Kayla peered under the bandage to see a few spots of fresh blood. "I think you tugged at a stitch. It's not bad but no more shenanigans for you." she explained, smoothing his bandage down gently. Negan touched her chin, moving her gaze to his eyes. "Doc told me about the surgery."

Swallowing thickly, her mind flashed to the sight of deep red blood coating her rubber-gloved hands, so much so it oozed under the cuffs. She tried to forget how hot his guts felt against her palms or the smell of cauterizing tissue under nose.

"You saved my life Kay." He rasped quietly, his dark eyes searching her troubled ones.

"I…" she started, shaking her head she rambled, "I thought you were gonna die. There was so much blood. You were fucking whiter than a sheet. Doc just kept tryin' and he couldn't get it… the guys were holding you down because you were seizing and then you just stopped. I thought…." Shaking her head she swallowed through the desert in her throat. "I thought you died."

Negan combed his hand through Kayla's hair, her head resting against his shoulder. "I'm sorry doll."

"Not your fault but don't ever fucking do that again you bastard."

A deep chuckle had her smiling, pressing her lips into his warm bicep. She couldn't believe how hot he was compared to the night before. "I'm serious. Don't do that again… I don't know what I'd do…"

"You'd keep truckin' doll. I'll just be a mile post." He replied, his tone almost somber, his arm slid around to pull her securely to his side. "You'll keep living because you're a survivor."

"Stop." She muttered, sitting up to look down at him. "Don't talk like that."

"What practical? This world ain't doing us any favors doll. I'm going to die some fucking day and when it happens, you'll survive it." Negan spoke calmly, the man obviously getting a reality check from his grievous injury.

Kayla chewed her cheek as an overwhelming sadness flooded her being, tears burning her eyes. Negan smiled sadly at her fracturing face, cupping it to bring her close to his own. Kissing her gently he murmured, "I'm going to do my fucking best to stay with you as long as I can sweetheart. I'm not looking to lose you anytime soon, I just got you."

Kayla's cheeks were damp as she murmured, "Please be careful. I really don't think I'm strong enough to weather that storm. This place will turn to shit and then I'll be forced to go live out in the wild again."

"You could always go live with Rick." Negan offered with a coy grin. Biting hard on his shoulder she growled, "Shuddup."

Lying quietly, Kayla thought he'd fallen asleep when he rasped, "Thank you for patching me up doll."

Kissing his chest, her lips pressed against the tattoo on his chest. She could feel the steady thrum of his heart and the calm even breath of his lungs and couldn't help but thank the god she didn't even believe in for not taking him. Tipping her face up, she propped her chin on his chest and stared at him intently. Negan's hand swept hair from her eyes, his thumb tracing her cheek and jaw. "You okay darlin'?" he asked, his voice hoarse but gentle.

"Yeah." She murmured with a small nod, her chin tickled with course hair. Smiling softly she kissed his chest again and whispered, "Never been better."

* * *

"Don't go to work today." Negan muttered against the crown of her head, his breath warming her scalp. Kayla snuggled into his side, her hand resting on the center of his chest, her finger tracing the lines of his tattoo. "Gotta work, we need those parts." She replied, tilting her head up to see his face.

"Someone else can do it." He grumbled his mouth frowned. "Plenty of dumb fucking monkeys to do the grunt work doll."

"I like working." Kayla replied, smiling softly, "Besides you're gonna get sick of me if I'm here all the damn time."

"No I won't." Negan rasped, laying his hand on top of hers and folding his long fingers through hers. "Stay." He murmured, pushing his bottom lip out like a pouting child. Kayla laughed quietly, stretching her neck up to nip it. "You're adorable. Fine, I'll stay you big baby."

"Good." He muttered, squeezing her hand while kissing her head. Stroking his thumb along her pale soft wrist, his hand pressed her palm into his chest above his heart. Kayla could feel the steady thump below her hand, her breathing picking up as he peered down at her. His eyes were hooded, intense but unsure, "Haven't had this for a long time."

"Had what?" She asked with her brow furrowed. Negan squeezed her hand tightly, rubbing it along the center of his chest. " _This_ …" he rasped quietly, his eyes speaking volumes more than his mouth.

Kayla swallowed thickly, her cheeks heating as he continued to stare while rubbing her hand against his warm skin. "Oh." She murmured stupidly, adding more as he seemed to be discouraged by her response. "I haven't either.. actually, never really had  _this_  before."

"You haven't?' he spoke incredulously.

"Well I mean it depends on what ' _this_ ' is to you but I mean..." She paused shrugging, "I had boyfriends and stuff but I never really…" her voice trailed off as her mouth almost confessed more than her mind wanted. Shrugging again she looked away and finished her thought by repeated his own words. "had  _this_."

Negan's face wasn't readable for a long moment, Kayla fidgeting as time stretched like a rubber band, she was just waiting for the snap back. Leaning forward he kissed her forhead sweetly and whispered, "Well I _'_ m glad to be the first then."

Smiling she curled into his ribs and settled into doze with him some more when a knock rattled his door.

"Ugh." He grunted, rubbing his eyes. "I need a vacation from this place. You and me and some deserted island away from dead and living and fucking bullshit."

Kayla smirked as he sighed deeply again as the door rattled again. "Boss?" Simon's voice echoed through the door. "Need to run somethin' by ya."

Growling Negan raised an eyebrow to her silently asking if she was going to stay in place or hide their relationship still. Shrugging she muttered, "fuck it."

"Come in." Negan hollered, his hand squeezing her hip under the blanket, the man obviously pleased with her allowing them to be seen together as more than co workers. Simon walked in, his feet stuttering to a stop as Kayla sat up in bed next to him. "Oh." He drawled, smoothing his moustache down. "Sorry to.. interrupt."

"You should be." Negan rasped, his voice hoarse and tired. "I'm fucking tired as shit. Now what do you want?"

"We got a slight problem." Simon started, resting his hands on his hips as he frowned towards the floor. Kayla could see his hesitation to speak but wasn't sure if it was from her presence or the topic.

"Well?" Negan barked, "Spit it the fuck out."

"Those Skinwalkers have surrounded Hilltop." He grunted, his thick eyebrows scrunching together.

Negan rolled his eyes and replied, "So kill them."

"Well…" Simone spoke with a sigh, "We uh… we tried that but lost about a dozen men fighting them off."

"A dozen!" Negan shouted angrily, his hand grabbing his side. "A fucking dozen? How the fuck did you fuck that up huh?"

Kayla grabbed his shoulder as he just about stood up from bed. Shaking off her hand he snapped, "Don't touch me."

"Don't fucking tear open stitches." She hissed back, "Sit the fuck down. Simon now would be a good time to tell him your fucking plan before he kills himself."

Simon glared at her but kept his mouth closed about his irritation with being given demands by her. "Well, there's a couple options. We can say fuck it and accept the loss. Maybe they'll survive, maybe they won't but we can control our losses. Or we can get some help from Kingdom. They have some fighters, not a lot but they know how to kill biters."

"And why exact-fucking-ly would we inform Kingdom of our lack of manpower?" Negan sneered, "That's the stupidest fucking idea ever Simon."

The balding man sighed, shaking his head as he looked at the floor as he replied, "It's a shit option but still an option."

"I'd rather stick my dick in a blender then go to that Shakespear in the park acting fucknut and his big pussy." Negan growled, his eyes dark. "We can deal with this shit on our fucking own. Put your big girl panties on and deal with this shit. Why the fuck are you my lieutenant if you can't handle a bunch of dead fucks?"

Kayla chewed her lip and thought about their options, her ears only partially listening as the two men argued. Clearing her throat she got their attention, both staring as she hesitated.

"Well? Spit it the fuck out doll." Negan barked.

Rolling her eyes at his snippy tone she spoke calmly as if talking to a child. "Those assholes aren't the only ones who can herd a bunch a dead bastards. All we need is a loud dinner bell and some open stretch road. Drawn them away, disperse them instead of fighting through them. Then cull the herd."

Negan and Simon stared at her as if it were the first time they'd ever heard English before. Cocking an eyebrow she asked, "What? No good or not enough action?"

Negan snorted, laying back into his pillow as if relieved of the previous stress. "Problem solved Simon. Go round up a group and a few vehicles. Big noisy fuckers and maybe a couple bikes. Get them headed away from our supplies."

"Sure, boss."

Simon smoothed his frizzy hair back and glanced at Kayla, dipping his chin to her before leaving the room with a quiet thump of the door.

"Doll." Negan rasped, his hand reaching out to stroke her cheek. "What would I do without you?"

Kayla smirked, turning her head to kiss the heel of his palm. "Be bored as fuck."


	16. Chapter 16

They needed more parts than they had after disassembling the long unused equipment in the Sanctuary. With Simon dealing with the problems at Hilltop, Kayla was being sent on a scavenge trip for parts. Negan didn't want her to go without him but knew with winter coming, they needed to get everything they required to begin pumping out ammunitions. He had entrusted her with the mission.

Eugene wrote a thorough list, which Kayla couldn't help but taunt him about with his own snide remarks about her own obsessive tendencies, "Are you cognizant of your fastidiousness because this is the most meticulous grocery list I've ever seen and I worked at grocery store once."

Eugene looked at her with wide eyes as he stammered out a monotonic response. Kayla grinned widely as he stuttered and mumbled.

"I'm fucking with you Mr MacGyver." She quipped, smacking him on the back heavily before whispering, "You should grow a pair of balls. Women like men with full sacks."

Wandering towards the caravan she nodded at Michael asking, "Riding with me?"

Grunting in response he ticked his sharp jaw to the lead vehicle. "Wrangler."

"Yeah." She replied asking Keith, "Negan wants updates in an hour about inventory and details on our next priority scavenges. With the snow coming soon we need to tighten rations."

"Alright." He nodded, putting a notepad in his back pocket he asked, "Any idea how long this trip should be?"

"We should be back by dark but if not by mid afternoon tomorrow, things have gotten fucky." She remarked, taking an offered handgun from Michael with a thankful smile.

"Fucky?" Keith asked a coy grin, "You're sounding like him."

"Fuck off." Kayla muttered, feeling heat on her neck with embarrassment. Word had gotten around with her being more than a Savior and now she was confronted by teasing words all day.

"Like I said." He quipped elbowing her in the side. "So, Princess, why are you off running outside when you could be sitting up with the other wives?"

Kayla glared at him and asked, "Don't call me that and do I seem like someone who sits on their ass expecting others to take care of me?"

Keith laughed and joked, "So what you're spreadin' 'em for free?"

Kayla stepped forward, her eyes narrowed as Michael moved closer to the angry woman waiting for her to snap. "You wanna say that again Keith because I don't think you want too." She threatened, her head cocking to the side.

"Come on  _Princess_  don't be like that." He spoke with a taunting grin that was instantly removed from his face as a brutal right hook landed on his nose. The resounding crack and resulting scream of pain had everyone's eyes on the two as Kayla shoved him to the ground, Keith cupping his bloodied face.

"Say it again." She sneered over him, blood smeared on her knuckles and her chest heaving. It had been a long time since she lost control of her temper, even longer since she punched someone in the face because of it.

"Say. It. Again." Kayla hissed, Michael holding her shoulder as the other Saviors watched. There were a few snickers but over all everyone was waiting to see what the outcome of the quarrel would be. It was obvious to everyone now that Kayla and Negan were closer and they weren't exactly sure if she were now strategically higher than even a lieutenant.

"Good." She replied coolly before ticking her chin to the building behind them. "Run along then asshole."

Kayla watched him walk away, a few of the less than tactful Saviors teasing the hell out of him and his broken nose. Climbing into the jeep Kayla strapped her seatbelt roughly while ignoring Michael's side eye glances. Turning the car over, she drove them through the open gates and headed to the machinery shop they had located a few cities over. It was an arduous drive through many roadblocked streets and washed out roads. At one point in the day, the group stopped to refuel and use the restrooms.

Kayla had spent the time driving silently thinking about not only her argument with Keith, which she somewhat regretted now that her hand was throbbing, and the new developing relationship she had with Negan.

If she were honest with herself, Kayla knew she was in over her head with the man. She wasn't sure if Negan harbored the same feelings as she did but it was obvious he felt more than just friendship for her. He had spoken about what they had being important to him, that he hadn't had "this" in a long time. Even though the enigmatic man hadn't said the four-letter word it seemed as though it was what he was referring to. Kayla, however did not want to jump to conclusions. It would kill her if she had said it and he did not reply in kind.

"If I call you the P-word are you going to punch me?" Michael's deep voice brought her away from her tangled thoughts as they began driving. Snorting she looked over at him and asked, "Do you like your straight nose or are you looking for a makeover?"

Michael grinned easily, "You know there's no fixing this mug."

Rolling her eyes, she muttered, "Don't pretend to be modest. You know you're all..."

"All?" He asked with a smirk, turning to look her head on. She looked him over for a second before pulling her gaze away when he smiled wider.

"Fuck off." Kayla muttered, feeling her cheeks warm.

"What? I'm all what?"

"Despite your horribly clingy personality and overall annoying habit of talking too much, you're good looking." She replied with a slow grin, the teasing words making him chuckle. Glancing at her, he joked, "Well good thing, I'd hate to get a love tap like Keith."

"That was more than a love tap." She grumbled, wiggling her fingers, the knuckles feeling stiff. Michael motioned for it, his large hand taking her smaller one. Rotating her wrist and probing each knuckle he gently checked for injury.

"Just bruising I think. Hold off on bludgeoning anyone else today." He remarked, his thumb brushing across her knuckles softly. Kayla glanced up at him as he still held her hand before slowly letting go and clearing his throat awkwardly.

Turning her attention back to the road she shifted in her seat uncomfortably. They were friends and even though they slept together once, nothing had ever become awkward until then. She wasn't sure what the strange vibe was as he looked at her but Kayla couldn't help but analyze his every move now. Michael was a good guy, better than most and she trusted him with her life. They'd both saved each other on countless occasions and there wasn't much she wouldn't do for the man. Hoping she was only making up the strange vibe in her head, she continued to drive them to their destination. His voice however brought her attention back to the passenger side of the jeep.

"So is it official? You married?" He asked, his eyes looking over her with a hesitant expression.

Clearing her throat she replied, "We're... trying it out. I'm not a wife, not like the others... it's.. different."

"But he's still with them?" Michael asked, his eyes narrowing angrily, his fists tightening.

"No... well yes and no." She muttered, tapping her fingers along the wheel. "As far as everyone else in concerned, they're still his or whatever but.. he's not with them anymore."

"So he's not fucking them but still letting them sit on their asses?" He replied without any malice.

"Pretty much."

"So he let you go out?" he asked, relaxing back in his seat as if the conversation wasn't upsetting him. Kayla could see anger in his eyes causing her to feel confusion with the point of his questions.

"I want to, so I will." She answered, looking over his profile, "He offered the options. He'd prefer I'd stay behind the fences."

"Of course he would. He's a controlling asshole." Michael sneered, his lip curled and brow cocked as he added, "I wouldn't boss you around like that."

Kayla glanced at him with the unusual comment and jealous tone, "Good thing you didn't want that type of relationship with me huh?"

Michael's jaw clenched and she watched him anxiously rub his fingers together resting on the armrest. "Yeah." He spoke softly, his eyes narrowing at the windshield.

"Michael-." She began only to be interrupted.

"Forget I said anything." Michael muttered, shaking his head slightly as he glanced at her. "I'm just... protective of you."

"I appreciate it." She murmured, squeezing his broad shoulder with her bruised hand. "Seriously, Michael I appreciate it and I know you hate him-."

Huffing out an amused breath he claimed, "I don't hate him."

"You don't like him." Kayla retorted.

Laughing gruffly he replied, "Of course not he's megalomaniac asshole who thinks he's owed everything and everyone."

Rolling her eyes she muttered, "Megalomaniac is a bit of a stretch."

Michael cocked an eyebrow and turned sideway in his seat. "Really because thinking he owns everyone and everything in the near vicinity doesn't strike you as obsessive and greedy?"

Chewing her lip, she sighed, "Of course it does but-."

"No buts Kayla. You know as well as I do what we do, what we take from these others groups isn't ours to take. I know he likes to fool himself into thinking he deserves it for killing the dead fucks and all but it's all a goddamn excuse for being greedy. Yeah he takes care of his own but why can't everybody trying to survive this shit hole be included in that? It's not that I don't think he could do it, he's a good leader, does things for a purpose and not half cocked but…" Michael paused shaking his head as he thought out the next words. "Something happened to make him so callus and it's ruining what he could do."

Kayla chewed her lip thinking over everything he claimed and couldn't find any error. It was everything she thought and it was also very astute of him to see that there was a source of the sometimes brutal personality.

"Between you and me, to the fucking grave?" Kayla asked with a pointed look. Michael nodded and listened intently.

"He had a wife before this... Lucille."

Michael's eyes widened and he looked towards the road. She could see his jaw working, the muscle ticking as he ground his teeth. Giving him a second she continued gently knowing the man knew all to well about the pain of losing the ones loved most.

"She had cancer and passed when all this shit started going down. She turned, that's how he figured out that were all fucked."

Michael sighed after a moment of silence, rubbing his head roughly as he did when contemplating. The motion always reminded her of Shane and his nervous tick, scrubbing his head or rubbing his neck. Kayla always knew when he was either upset or trying to pull a fast one on her. Smirking a little at the memory she sobered up as Michael cleared his throat roughly. Shaking her head she continued, "I think that it broke him before she even died, it wasn't long. She was there and then incredibly sick and then gone only to turn into one of those things. He didn't grieve and I guess... he turned into what he is."

"What do you think he is?" He asked the question she often thought about. She knew a whole different side of Negan than anyone else. There wasn't just the man sauntering back and forth spewing steaming bullshit about being king dick of all things. He wasn't just the brutal and horrific acts carried out by the bloodied effigy of his wife he carried. There was a caring and deeply loyal man inside him, a gentle man, a loving man. He wasn't just his erroneous actions, Negan was so much more and if given a push in the right direction could be even more.

"I think he's a force to be reckoned with and that could be either good for us or bad." She replied after a few minutes of contemplation. "I think once we take care of the skin jobs we need to rethink our survival tactics."

Michael nodded, his lip curling slightly, "And you're gonna change his mind."

"No." She replied before expanding. "I'm going to figure out a plan, one with the answers to every possible outcome and disaster and then suggest it."

"And if he doesn't go for it?" Michael asked, leaning his thick arm on the open window.

Shrugging she chewed her lip, "Then I'll have to live with that and try to prevent what I can."

"Why the change of heart?" he asked, his eyes looking her over again. Kayla squirmed under his gaze and muttered, "I never agreed with this shit, you know that."

"But you never voiced it."

Chuckling she replied, "I like my skull in one piece."

"You know he'd never do that to you."

"Maybe now but back then he would've."

"I doubt it." Michael replied, his eyes going to the side mirror. "Last cars lagging."

Glancing at the mirror to her left, she noticed the vehicle stopped completely before a voice called out on the radio. "Lead this is tail, we got a flat. Over."

Pulling to a stop, Michael ordered a break over the radio and then climbed out of the car. Taking a moment Kayla pushed the discussion out of her head before climbing out to check on the tail end of their convoy. When she reached them she discovered a few with their guns up, Michael included.

"What's up?" She asked, her guard instantly up. Scanning the surrounding neighborhood Kayla looked for whatever had them at attention.

"Someone shot our tire out." The driver explained pointing to the bolt sticking out of the vehicles tire.

"Fuck." She muttered, her handgun instantly drawn. Taking a second to decide on their actions she ordered, "Everyone on guard. Get the tire changed. We need to leave the area as fast as possible."

Ticking her chin to the homes."I want a spotter on one of these roofs."

A weathered looking man stepped forward, his name escaping Kayla but the sniper rifle in his arms telling Kayla all she needed to know. "Get high but stay close. We may need to leave in a hurry and I'm not leaving anyone behind. Don't get us killed by dawdling."

"Yes ma'am." He drawled, jogging across the street she watched him easily climb the lattice of a house before positioning himself on a two story town home.

The men removed the tire and had it changed almost instantly but they needed to refuel two vehicles as well so the break was stretched further. Kayla was on edge, her eyes without pause scanning the surrounding streets. It was a suburban area of town, the roads winding and frequent cul de sacs. It had too many places for threats to hide and the possibility of a huge population of undead. That many homes with family averaging at least four, the numbers could be staggering if it hadn't been evacuated.

"Ok we're good to-." The driver of the car was speaking only to be interrupted by the sniper's sharp whistle alerting them to danger. The group of eight men became even more high strung, everyone looking for the threat. The man on the rooftop gestured in the direction and whistled the tone used to describe the incoming enemy. The dead were coming and if Kayla were to guess, they were being led by the skin jobs.

"Load up now!" She shouted, motioning the sniper to climb down from his perch. Standing by the jeep she could see the dead shuffling around the corner ahead of them. They needed to turn around and find another route to their goal. She had no idea how large the herd coming was but she wanted to give them a wide berth. Once the sniper climbed into the vehicle behind them, Kayla got the convoy on the road. They took a large roundabout before fleeing in another direction. The dead were slowly inundating the area though and at every turn the group ran into the spreading plague.

"Fuck." She snapped, jamming her foot on the brake as the latest escape route was met with more undead. "Another route now." She barked at Michael who was scanning their planned routes. As she waited for another suggestion, the caravan of vehicles took the only available road out of town. When they ended up approaching a large barrier built of dead bodies, Kayla began to realize they had just been led into a dead end.

"It's a trap." Michael echoed her thoughts, the woman nodding as she saw the dead following and the giant roadblock ahead of them. They were on a road with no exits, sitting ducks for whatever the group had planned.

"We're gonna have to head out on foot." She remarked, looking at Michael seeing him nodded in agreement.

"Over the wall?"

"Their probably expecting that." She muttered, pointing to the store fronts. "Let's go through one of these, there's an alleyway behind this plaza."

The group grabbed their own rucksacks and entered what was once a barbershop. The tail end of the group barricaded the door as Michael and Kayla cleared the hallway and office. The backdoor led to an alleyway which gave the group a quick exit. All were jogging along the brick wall, ducking for cover in case the skin walkers had spotters.

Kayla could feel her recently healed leg aching from the running but ignored the warnings her limb was giving her. There wasn't any time to spare to worry about injuring her weakened leg. The men escaped the winding alleyway, their feet pounding along the trash strewn pavement.

"Two more streets." Michael informed, motioning for them to halt their run at the corner of a building. Peering down the street, they caught sight a few skin walkers drawing the dead their way. Kayla could see a woman with a gruesome skin mask strolling down the road covered in blood and entrails. They turned a corner allowing them to cross the street into another alley.

"Should we split up?" One man asked as they reached a three way fork in the road.

Kayla chewed her cheek and added, "Might spread the herd up, make it easier to get away. Circle back for the vehicles."

Michael pursed his lips and nodded, "You, me and joey?"

Nodding she motioned to the others, "Split up. You go west, you go east. We'll go south. If we can get back to the cars do it, otherwise find a way back to Sanctuary. Look out for tails. Do not lead this herd home."

The others nodded, splitting up to head out. Kayla followed Michael as he began checking their route. "Clear." He muttered, ticking his chin, "Go I'll cover you."

* * *

The afternoon was spent avoiding the dispersing horde of biters as well as searching for skin walkers. If they could just pick a few off they might be able to increase their chances of taking out the disruptive group.

Kayla's leg was beginning to buckle under the pressure and Michael had become increasingly concerned with her gait. "It's your leg?" He panted as they climbed a steep incline. Kayla glanced at him, grimacing as her shin ached while also shooting pain up into her knee.

"M'fine." She grunted, her mouth opening to blow off his concern but Joey's screams had them startling. Kayla turned to see the man stabbed from behind by a man wearing skin, his sickle type blade bursting out Joey's throat.

Kayla's gun went off without hesitation, shooting straight through the Savior into the man behind him. After three shots, they both fell dead. Gasping she turned to see a line of thirty undead tripping over their feet to claim the meal. Michael grabbed her by the wrist and they ran down a small frontage road. They weren't sure where they were at that point, the roaming biters causing them to constantly detour.

Kayla was grinding her teeth as they ran from the consuming horde, her newly healed leg revolting at the strain. She flicked her eyes to Michael as his long stride had him outpacing her.

"Keep running." He shouted, his hand grabbing her wrist as her leg buckled. She screamed out as the pain ripped through the limb.

They ran nonstop, dodging the corpses inundating the area. There was no hiding from them, no escape. Fingers nearly grabbed Kayla's hair as they dodged a group of biters. Michael yanked her onto her feet barely keeping up as the grass turned to asphalt. Skidding across the loose rock, the towering man tugged her harshly while snapping, "Keep running Kay. Faster, now!"

Jogging down an alleyway, the dead spilling into the entrance of the narrow aisle that came to a sudden dead end. The corpses were tripping and falling over themselves trying and almost succeeding in catching a meal. Kayla toppled over a lead pipe, the metal bouncing off the brick with an echoing ring. Michael snarled, his huge hand punching a biter as it fell on top of her. She scrambled back her fingertips gouged from clawing the rough asphalt trying to escape.

"Fuckers!" Michael shouted, shoving a few dead back as Kayla climbed to her feet. There was no way out. They were cornered, out of ammo and all they had were knives and bare hands to fight. Kayla shoved the large garbage bin towards the dead, Michael helping jam it diagonally against a rain gutter spout and a chuck of concrete. They pressed their weight against it as the undead piled up behind them. Michael was wild eyed and his mouth curled into a vicious sneer. She could see him cursing the world and everything in it. They were as good as dead.

Closing her eyes she laid her head back, the cacophony of groans and snarls behind her becoming fever pitch. Titling her head up she opened her eyes, taking in the clear blue sky and clouds for what could be the last time. Slowly her eyes focused on the metal rung jutting out just above them.

"Up!" She screamed over the deafening moans bouncing off the walls surrounding them. Michael looked up and used his tall stature to reach the extending ladder. It came down just as the dead began piling up and over the metal bin. He all but shove Kayla up the rungs, her leg collapsing as the pressure became too much. Michael climbed behind her with one hand holding the ladder while the other gripped her hip. They were high enough from the dead's hands but not near the ledge.

"Go Kayla. Fucking go."

Grinding her teeth she forced her body to react to his demands, the pressure building in her leg making her whimper. At the ledge Michael shoved her over the edge, Kayla falling onto the rough tar with a groan. She lay there looking up at the sky while her heart raged and lungs sucked air in desperately. Michael fell to his knees, his fists pressed into the loose asphalt as he panted.

"Jesus fucking Christ." He panted, " _That_  was close."

Kayla swallowed thickly, her throat so dry and mouth so parched she couldn't speak. The adrenaline and fear she had been thriving on to escape the horde was now crushing her. Rolling over to her knees she screwed her eyes shut as tears threatened to take over. Kayla had never been so afraid in all her life, before or after the turn. It was the closest she'd ever come to dying by biter.

'Count Kay. Count.' She heard Shane murmuring in her head. Rocking slightly she squeezed her eyes shut while struggling to listen to her dead brothers advise.

"Hey." Michael spoke from her side but she couldn't look at him. She felt weaker than ever before and couldn't bring herself to expose that side to him.

"Kay." He rasped, his shape getting closer as a jagged sob finally scratched its way out. Covering her face with her hands, her body shook as the emotional aspect of almost being torn to pieces plowed into her with extreme force. Without hesitating Michael scooped her up into his lap, Kayla wrapped herself around him tightly.

"Breathe." He ordered softly, his mouth near her ear. Kayla's body shuddered while burning off the adrenaline, her lungs pulling in jagged gasps. "Easy. Slow breath Kay. It's just shock okay?"

"Fuck." She gasped, her face covered in tears as she peered up at him. "Fuck I can't- I can't-."

"Sure you can."

"No I can't die like that. Don't want to die like that." She spoke quickly her words falling out almost to fast to understand. "Please. I can't-."

"Stop." He spoke gruffly, his large hand wiping her face, "Calm the fuck down. You're not dying while I'm here aright?"

"What about when you're not? I can't die like that."

"Just relax okay? We're fine up here. They'll wander off and we'll head back."

* * *

"You gotta take the first chance you get and go." She advised hours later, looking at her throbbing leg as she sat next to him.

"No Kay."

"I'm dead weight, Michael." She barked, her fists clenched. "Their gonna tear this building apart and eventually this shit roof is gonna cave in. I can't run anymore."

"Don't argue with me Kayla" He growled, his face lowered towards her aggressively. "That isn't happening."

"Shut the fuck up and listen to me." She snapped, "You have to go."

"No, I'm not gonna shut the fuck up." He snapped, his eyes dipping to stare at her lips. Kayla's heart leapt at the look in his eyes, there was something in them that was dark and tempting. It was the look he had all that time ago when she found him waiting outside the bathroom, a desperation drilling into her. The air crackled as they glared at each other.

"Just go." She choked, her throat dry as his eyes pierced her.

"You're the biggest idiot on this God forsaken earth if you think I'm running away from you." He growled before lurching forward, his hand cupping her neck with a biting grip.

Kayla gasped into his mouth allowing him to ravage every hot, wet inch of her with deep plunges. For a moment Kayla became lost in the pleasurable sensations, the desperation in his movements and the frantic grasp of his hands. She flashed back to the bathroom, to the sight of his body plunging into hers with a lust filled fury. It wasn't right though and he wasn't Negan. Growls vibrated from his chest as she yanked at his collar and clawed his neck.

"Fuck." He gasped as she pulled a hand back and slapped him hard across the face.

"What the fuck are you doing?!" She shouted, her eyes blazing. "Jesus, Michael."

He stared at her, his mouth open as he panted. Kayla shook her head frantically, "Why would you do that?"

"I-." He choked, his head dropping as he seemed to swallow his words. "I don't know… I just."

"Damnit Michael." She muttered, her eyes scanning him for some kind of explanation.

"I just kept seeing you almost taken by those fucks and I just…" he paused shaking his head while scrubbing his face. "I'm sorry."

Kayla swallowed thickly and tried to figure out how she was supposed to look Negan in the eyes without telling him, if she ever saw him again that was. "I really wish you didn't do that."

"I'm not." He growled, his face more determined. "If we're dying here today then I'm sure as hell happy I got to kiss you one more time."

"Michael."

"No. Let me say this." He spoke, his eyes desperate again but for a whole other reason. "Telling you I wasn't ready is one of the biggest mistakes of my life. I was just scared of what I was feeling and what I could feel. Scared I'd forget them."

"Michael it wasn't just you who wasn't ready."

Shaking his head he spoke gruffly, "If you had another choice you wouldn't choose him Kayla."

Furrowing her brow she snapped, "I'm not with him because the dating pool is small. Besides you told me to tell him how I felt."

Huffing out an irritated breath Michael said, "Yeah, well that's another shit mistake of mine. I thought if you were with somebody else, it would stop but it just gets worse."

Shaking her head she sighed, "Michael, this can't happen. Whatever you were thinking."

"I wasn't thinking." He grunted, his dark eyes looking her over. "I just couldn't die without telling you. Without tasting you one more time. I love you Kay."

Tears filled her eyes because she felt so emotionally torn in two. If she were being honest she did love Michael but not the way he wanted. In another world she could've fallen for the amazing man but it was a different world. Kayla loved Negan and she'd fought it for too long, there was no going back.

"I can't be that for you Michael. I love you but not like that." She murmured, her gaze still watery. "For better or worse, Negan's the man I want to be with. I love him."

Michael's gaze rested on the peeling rooftop as he nodded, "I know."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be." He rasped, looking up at her, a sad smile curling his lips. "It's not your fault I couldn't see what was right in front of me."

They stared at each other a moment before she spoke, "You should really go."

"No." He replied softly, his eyes scanning the ground filled with undead. "We stay. Wait it out."

Sighing Kayla relaxed against the small wall surrounding the rooftop, they couldn't move and had no other choice but to rest.

* * *

The herd dispersed in the morning, the thick groves of corpses shuffling off to greener pastures. Kayla kept her tangled mind to herself and focused on getting them back to Sanctuary. It wasn't the first time they'd been stranded on their own and it wouldn't be the last. She kept slipping nervous glances to Michael, unsure of what he was thinking and what would happen now that he'd confessed his feelings for her. Kayla knew if Negan were to find out, Michael would probably wear a gruesome set of scars. She wasn't too sure how not to tell Negan, it wasn't as if anything serious happened but if he ever found out later and she hadn't told him, well who knows what the man would do.

"Do we know where we are?" She asked as they climbed down the fire escape and towards the alleyway.

"Yeah. We got a ways to go to get back to the cars."

Kayla hummed in thought and asked, "Should we just find another one, head back before anyone comes looking?"

Michael chewed his lip a moment before nodding, "Yeah. Don't want your husband to be upset."

Rolling her eyes she grumbled, "Don't be a dick."

Michael grunted in return, the man refusing to even look in her direction. Grinding her teeth, Kayla decided to ignore him and get them back home. She hoped that whatever was going on in Michael's head would faded once they weren't all by themselves. 'We just need space.' She thought to herself while they searched the vehicles down the street.

Michael found a car that had enough gasoline to get them to Sanctuary. The pair was quiet as he drove, his fingers tapping the steering wheel nervously.

"Are you going to tell him?" He asked, after an hour of silence. Kayla sighed deeply her eyes finding his. "I don't know."

"If you tell him, you know what he'll do."

Kayla glared at him and snapped, "Well it's not my goddamn fault you did it. What happens if I don't and then he finds out?"

"How would he? It's not like we fucked anyways!" He growled, his dark eyes landing on her. Kayla clenched her jaw and tried to contain her anger. "Look, I care about you."

"Just stop okay." He muttered, shaking his head as he avoided her gaze. "I don't need your damn pity. I get it."

"Shut up." She snapped, turning in her seat. "I care about you. More than most and I don't want you to be hurt. You need to realize though we can't be what you want. I can't be. So you need to do whatever it is to get over whatever it is you think you feel for me because it's only going to get you hurt or killed. Please Michael, we're friends."

"Friends that fucked."

"Once." She muttered, crossing her arms. "We both decided it was a one time thing. What happened to that?"

Michael growled deeply, his hands twisting the steering wheel angrily. "What happened is I didn't realize I had feelings for you."

"But you told me to tell Negan how I felt." She shouted, her hands fisted. "Why would you do that?"

Michael shook his head and sighed, "I'm an idiot ok? I didn't want to feel this. I didn't want to forget my wife and kids, I thought if I moved on I would and now, now all I can think about is you fucking Negan and it pisses me off. I remember what it was like to be inside you."

"Michael-."

"No. I remember and I know you enjoyed it, I know you still would." He spoke, his voice desperate to make her understand. Kayla couldn't help but ache to make him feel better, to agree and confess she did enjoy it, she enjoyed having him inside her. However, it wasn't the same as her feelings for Negan or her physical desire for him. She loved him and they hadn't even had sex yet. Kayla couldn't imagine what she'd feel like after connecting with him completely.

"I did but it was a one off Michael. We agreed and I still agree, it was a one time thing. We can only be friends and I hope that eventually that's enough for you because I can't change how I feel for Negan."

"Yeah well I can't change how I feel about you either." Michael shouted, punching the dashboard so loudly, the vinyl cracked open. Kayla was breathing hard, adrenaline thrumming through her as they shouted at the top of their lungs at each other.

"I think we should spend time apart." She spoke after a long silence.

Michael didn't speak, only nodding once while driving towards home. Kayla kept her eyes forward but glanced at him periodically, her nerves completely unsettled by his outbursts. It was a tenuous situation because if Negan found out the man who she said was just a friend was in fact in love with her, Michael might end up on the business end of Lucille.

* * *

When they arrived back to Sanctuary they found the others had made it home by the evening before. Negan was standing in the courtyard as they pulled inside with a different vehicle. The rust bucket was barely running, thick smoke billowing out the back as it backfired. Grinning she trailed her hand down the side, "I brought you an American classic. Sexy huh?"

"Something's sexy and it isn't that piece of shit." Negan quipped dragging his eyes down her body before glancing at Michael. "Thanks for getting her back in one piece."

"She needs doc." Michael commented before striding away, his back tense and eyes hard.

Negan's eyes narrowed at his words before swinging back to her, looking for an injury. Rolling her eyes she limped forward, "just a strain on my bum leg. I'm fine."

Negan made a move to pick her up but she smacked his hands away. "You can't lift me with your healing side."

"Fine, lean against me at least." He conceded, the man obviously aware of his physical limitations at the moment. Walking next to him, Kayla let him wrap and arm around her waist as support. She felt him kiss her head, his warm breath tickling her scalp.

"What's wrong with the freak?" Negan commented, his suspicious eyes following the man stomping up the fire escape stairwell.

"Nothing." She muttered, adding, "Just a shit couple of days. We didn't even get what we needed."

Shrugging, Negan replied, "You're back alive. That's all that matters."

Smirking she teased, "That's a first. Normally you'd throw a shit fit when we don't finish a mission."

"Pfft. Maybe everybody else." He drawled, his amused eyes looking down at her, "You get special treatment doll."

Once inside the doctor's office, Kayla sat on the gurney as he looked over her leg. There was bruising from her fall in the alley but nothing extreme. He ordered her to keep off the leg for the rest of the day and take some anti inflammatories. After a quick trip upstairs, Kayla was showering and washing off the days of grime and biter gore. Her mind was reeling as she thought about Michael's claims and his desperate attempts to change her mind. She knew he felt something for her and if she thought back, she'd known for a while but it didn't change her mind. Kayla was where she wanted to be and that meant she would have to lose her closest friend because she couldn't allow him to be hurt because of her. She wouldn't let Michael be punished for feeling the way he did.


	17. Chapter 17

* * *

A day of resting her injured limb had Kayla feeling like new. Negan was healing also but still struggling with the wound to his stomach. Even with the antibiotics, he had developed an infection causing a set back in his recovery. It didn't help that he kept over doing it despite Kayla's constant nagging. She had successfully avoided Michael, her goal to give him some space and hopefully clear his head of his feelings for her. Deep down, Kayla knew it wasn't going to help and she couldn't stop herself from feeling crushing guilt, as though she had led him on or done something to provoke such feelings. She struggled to find some way to make everything better without losing her friend.

Sitting on the couch inside Negan's bedroom, which had gradually become their bedroom, Kayla's hands smoothed a machete blade over a whetstone. She couldn't stop contemplating how to fix everything. When Negan entered the room, Kayla could tell he was more than exhausted, his eyes framed with dark shadows and brow furrowed. He looked years older ever since his injury.

"Get something to eat yet?" She asked as he tugged off his jacket and kicked off his boots. She watched him move stiffly, his wound still far from healed to be moving as much as he was.

"Nah." He rasped, standing in the middle of the room as if unsure what he wanted to do about it. Smirking at the boyish frustration crossing his face, she ticked her chin to the bathroom. "Go shower, I'll get you something."

Negan nodded, walking over to kiss her forehead. "Thanks doll." He murmured into the crown of her head.

"S'nothing." She replied, her arms hugging him momentarily. "I'll be back a minute."

Kayla left the room to grab food from the cafeteria. It was after hours but Negan's needs didn't have a curfew. She wandered through the dark hallways, the walls strung with periodic camp lights. Taking a set of stairs that allowed her to bypass the common room, Kayla entered the kitchen from the back entrance. The room was quiet, with only a few lanterns glowing the shadows were deep and unnerving.

"Hey Stu?" She called out, her boots tapping on the tile as she wandered further into the large room. The overweight man who ran the kitchen usually slept in a small closet located in the kitchen. He kept close eye on his domain and often kept people from taking more than their fair share of food. The portly man had sparse hair and his shirt was always stained with grease from cooking at the stove top. He was less than appealing but also a gentle man who reminded Kayla of a teacher she once had in high school. "Stu?" She repeated, not wanting him to think she was sneaking in to steal food. "Negan needs some-."

A growl erupted from behind her, causing Kayla to jump in surprise. Hands grabbed her hair, meaty paws clutching and tugging her head violently backwards. The snarl told her it was a biter but she couldn't comprehend how. Frantically grasping for her knife, the only weapon she carried on her impromptu trip, she yelped as its mouth snapped near her ear. Yanking her head away, she felt hair tear from her scalp.

"Fuck." She screamed as the heavy body toppled her to the ground, the crushing weight forcing the air from her lungs.

Scraping her blade across the ground, she tried to get leverage but the snarling animal on her back would not let up. It's teeth clacked in her ear, grinding molars seeking food.

Kicking and elbowing herself some space, Kayla jammed her knife over her shoulder, blinding stabbing the creature. She felt the knife sink into flesh and scratch bone but nothing to keep it from biting her. Growling in frustration she pushed with all her remaining strength to flip over and face the corpse head on. Finding herself pinned under a gruesome version of Stu, Kayla wasted no time shoving the blade into his gaping maw and out the back of his skull.

Gasping frantically, she collapsed to the ground as the biter fell still on top of her. Her heart was pounding so hard she thought she was having a heart attack, her lungs barely expanding below the pressing weight.

"Shit!" A voice shouted, the body pulled from her shaken form. Kayla peered up at Michael, her eyes wide and lungs sucking air like a fish out of water.

"Are bit? Did it get you?" He spoke fast, kneeling next to her to look over her face and neck, which were covered in blood. "Kayla!" He snapped, "Answer me."

"I-I-I don't –kn-know." She chattered, her teeth clacking as adrenaline surged through her.

"Shit." He hissed, pulling out his walkie and informing security of the biter. Looking over at the corpse she saw the heavyset man blue in the face with bloodshot eyes, her knife jetting out of his bloodied mouth. Yanking it out, she wiped in on his greasy t-shirt and slid it into her thigh sheath.

"Kay." Michael spoke softly. "Come on. We gotta clean you up."

Nodding she sat up with his help, her knees knocking together as she stepped through the blood and over the dead man's limbs. Michael held her elbow but eventually picked her up after she stumbled too many times. Security came in as Michael carried her out.

"It's Stu. We need to make sure he didn't get anyone else. Have Doc look at him to see how he died." Michael spoke, ordering the new guys around. Kayla rasped trying to break the tension, "Who died and made you boss?"

Michael carried her up a flight of stairs, his arms not even straining with the weight. "Someone's gotta tell those dumbfucks what to do. Who's it gonna be Javi?"

Snorting she murmured, "I can probably walk now."

"It's fine." He replied glancing down at her, his eyes looking her over for obvious injury. "Does anything hurt?" he spoke softly, concern creasing his brow.

"My scalp." She replied with a frown. "I think he just pulled my hair out though."

"Yeah well you're covered in his blood, if you have any wound…."

"Go faster then so I can clean up." She muttered before blurting out, "oh shit."

"What?"

"I forgot Negan's dinner. That's why I was down there."

"Well fuck, let's go on back." Michael deadpanned, muttering a few swears under his breath. Kayla raised an eyebrow and asked, "what was that?"

"He can get his own goddamn food. You aren't some slave."

"Shuddup. It's not like that." She replied with a roll of her eyes trying to avoid his glare. Having Michael carrying her wasn't giving him the space she felt he needed. Struggling in his arms she muttered, "put me down."

"No." He grunted, climbing the last steps to her floor.

"He's gonna be pissed." She threatened, her brow furrowed as Michael shook his head.

"I don't give a fuck." He growled lowly, "I'm keeping you from hurting yourself, you're in shock."

They finally reached the apartment, Michael knocking with the toe of his boot making the door rattle loudly. Kayla sighed and waited for the typhoon of over reactions to answer the door.

"Who the fu-?" Negan bellowed, while yanking the door open. His throat closed as he saw Kayla held in Michael's arms, her face and shoulders covered in blood.

"What the fucking fuck happened?" He barked, reaching forward to take her from Michael. Smacking his hands away, Kayla extracted herself from the other overbearing man in her life.

"Okay enough!" She snapped, dropping to her feet, "I'm not some fucking baby that needs to be carried, Jesus."

Negan glowered at the other man, his hands in tight fists. "You wanna tell me why you were holding her against her will?"

"We don't have time for this, she needs to be checked for bites." Michael growled, pointing at her. "That's biter blood."

Negan turned three shades of white, his hand clutching her arm to yank her towards the bathroom. Kayla stumbled along as Michael growled at the doorway.

Glancing at him, Negan sneered, "you're dismissed fuckface."

"Stop." Kayla snapped, yanking her arm away. "Both of you fucking stop it."

Yanking off her coat, she took a deep breath and then spoke calmly, "Thank you for helping Michael." Looking over at him she tried to pacify his anger, "I'm ok."

She watched him grinding his teeth before he dipped his chin. "You know where to find me." He spoke without acknowledging Negan's glare. The door closed and Negan rounded on her, "what the fuck happened and why the fuck does he think he can talk to me like that?"

"I need to wash and I need you to look at my head." She ignored his questions, pulling off her clothing and kicking her shoes off. "Stu is dead."

Negan began undressing, causing her to raise an eyebrow. "Shut up and get in the goddamn shower." he snapped, tossing his shirt on the bed.

Stepping under the spray she watched blood flow down her body, her hair clotted with it. Hissing as the spray hit tender skin, she felt Negan step in behind her. His hands cupped her head and brushed hair aside to see the wound.

"It looks like just hair was pulled out, no teeth marks or scratches." He spoke behind her, his voice tense. "Tell me."

"I went to get dinner," she started, interrupted by Negan's low growl. Turning to face him, Kayla gently touched his chest. "This is not your fault."

Huffing out a breath he grinned but it didn't reach his eyes, "of course it's not."

"It's not." She repeated, the woman knowing a little bit more about the man than he realized. Kayla knew his shit eating grin was almost always covering up his real feelings. The only reason she was in the kitchen was for him and Kayla knew he would hold onto that guilt if she didn't stop it. "It was better me than someone who couldn't fight and we end up with a damn outbreak."

"No." He growled fiercely, his face leaning towards her with a heated glare. "It never needs to be you."

Chewing her lip, Kayla realized they were nearly pressed together under the water. Negan's hands were washing away the blood from her shoulders, neck and head, his eyes concerned as he examined her scalp again.

"You didn't finish." His voice jolting her from the dazed gaze she had from feeling his warm naked body so close. They hadn't had sex yet and it was getting to the point where it was all she thought about. She wanted him buried ten feet deep inside her, spreading her open until he could climb inside. The need to have him devour her was making her feel feral, rabid with lust and want.

Blinking away the haze she kept the description to pure details, rather than confess how scared she had become. Shrugging, "It was dark and he grabbed me from behind. We fell and I ended up stabbing him."

"How'd he turn?"

"No idea, he was all blue and his eyes were bulgy." Kayla replied leaning her forehead against his chest as he washed her hair, his fingers gently cleaning the wound. God how she loved his fingers and palms stroking her skin and hair, the tingles they caused gave her goosebumps despite the warm water.

"Probably choked on a goddamn hambone, the fat fuck." Negan grumbled, tilting her head back into the water. When her face was pulled from the stream, he brushed his thumbs across her closed eyes to remove soap from her lashes. Opening her lids slowly, Kayla blinked at him as he seemed to consume her. His dark eyes were tracing her face and arched neck, Negan's pupils dilated as his gaze dropped to her breasts. Sucking air through his teeth, he groaned, "You're so damn beautiful sweetheart."

Kayla turned her face to the side, her engrained habit of hiding her scarred cheek. Negan always turned her back around but she couldn't break the self conscious tendency. His large palm cupped the jaw streaked with pink fault lines, slowly turning her to face him head on. Her dark eyes warmed into deep pools as she took in the pure unadulterated desire peering back at her. Negan's thumbs stroked her lips from the center out, his hands gliding along her jaw to sink into her wet hair. Curling his fingers into the base of her skull, he guided her head back and arched her neck until her mouth parted with a moan.

"Don't ever hide from me darlin'" he murmured, leaning forward to kiss her. His tongue swept her bottom lip with a promise of things to come, tentative but filled with pure want.

Kayla gasped as he pulled her against his lean body, narrow hips ascending to broad shoulders and thick arms that engulfed her. The heat from his skin felt overwhelming, the warmth flooding into her at every point of contact. He was rock hard, the thick weight of him pressing into her stomach made her core ache. She wanted him terribly, more than ever before. Kayla heard him groan deeply as his hips rut against her slippery skin, the man just as desperate as she was. The water shut off signaling the use of all their bath water, a chill hitting their skin almost instantly.

Pulling away from her, Negan was panting heavily, his chest brushing against hers. "Let's get out doll."

Nodding Kayla watched as he grabbed a couple towels and after drying he motioned to her, "Let me see your head again."

Tender fingertips dried the injury and once he applied ointment guided her to bed. "You still need to eat." She muttered, climbing into bed without even dressing. Kayla could feel his eyes on her, a flush warming and tightening her breasts. Biting her lip she slipped under the covers and watched him drying his hair while looking at her hungrily.

"Aren't you going to be cold darlin'?" He asked, walking towards the bed confidently, his dick resembling a divining rod for pussy.

She bit into her curling lip as she watched him swell further with every step. Her body buzzed with anticipation as he pulled the blanket back sharply and placed a knee on the bed, his eyes taking in her soft curves and tight peaks.

"Fuck." Negan growled, while prowling towards her. "As soon as I think you can't get any sexier you prove me wrong."

Kayla touched his stomach, the waterproof bandage making her remember his earlier pain. "Are you hurting?"

"Yeah." He rasped, his hand sliding up her calf, his fingers light and eyes heavy.

"Throbbing actually." Negan quipped, his grin teasing yet very serious as his fingers curled into her thigh.

Smirking she murmured, "I might have a home remedy."

"Oh yeah?" He chuckled, his blunt nails caused a deep shiver to run up her spine.

Nodding, Kayla stroked one finger down his torso, following the trail of course hair to the thick head pressing against her leg. "Yeah." She replied, her voice husky as she gripped the source of his discomfort. Kayla watched as his head was thrown back and a deep groan vibrated against her. "Fuck baby." He gasped, his eyes clenched shut as she stroked him with a tight fist.

"I have got to fucking fuck you doll. I'm not above begging." Negan moaned, her hand making him shudder and grasp her hip.

"Oh yeah? Let me hear it." She smirked, her eyes darkening at the idea of him so desperate that he'd beg.

"If you don't let me sink inside your tight pussy I'm going to lose my goddamn mind." He rasped, kiss down her neck while cupping her breast and plucking her nipple.

"And?" she asked with a grin, her eyes twinkling.

Negan huffed out a breath, his gaze narrowing at her gleeful expression but he gave in. "Pretty fucking please will you spread those thighs and let me show you how much I need you?"

Rolling onto her back she wrapped her legs around his waist, pulling him against her soaked center. "Can you tell how much I need you?" she whispered against his lips, the man surrounding her groaning deeply.

"Fucking fuck you are…" he moaned, his voice trailing off with a shake of his head.

"I'm what?" she murmured, sucking the skin along his shoulder as he rolled his hips against her.

"You're the best damn thing that's ever happened to me." Negan spoke softly, his hand cupping her jaw and neck.

"Ever?" she asked quietly, her hand stroking up and down his chest, sliding her fingers through his dark chest hair.

Negan nodded, pressing his forehead against hers. "Ever." He replied, his voice so soft Kayla barely heard but even still, the single word had her breath quickening and heart pounding harder.

"Well… what are you waiting for?" she murmured, a coy smirk curling her lips. Negan lunged forward, his mouth attaching to her with vigor. His hand slid down her soft belly to cup her wet center, a deep moan escaping his throat. "So wet baby."

"Fuck." She moaned, his curled fingers sinking deep, pushing and pulling her exactly where he wanted. Negan found a rhythm, thick fingers stroking deeper than anyone ever before.

"Fucking fuck." He growled into her breast, his teeth nipping her flushed skin. "Tight fucking pussy, Kay. Fuck, I'm gonna fill you so goddamn good."

A wanton moan clawed its way out, her whole body rolling with the man above. She should have been embarrassed by the sounds coming from her mouth but the way he made her feel pushed the shyness away. Everything inside her was on fire and nothing short of death could stop them now that they started. Synapses fired so rapidly, Kayla didn't know she was unravelling until it hit her like a freight train.

"Fu-." She gasped, her legs slamming shut on Negan's forearm while her hips jerked erratically.

"Fuckingshit." Negan rasped, his hands yanking her legs open before sliding in between them. "Look at my sexy girl, so goddamn hot."

Kayla panted, her hands gripping his neck and waist as he sunk into her. "Oh god."

"Holy hell." He cursed, his muscles so tense he felt like stone. "Don't fucking move." He huffed, his arms trembled with brittle control as his fingers bit into her hips and thighs. "Jesus. You're so fucking tight I'm gonna blow already."

Kayla chuckled, a teasing smirk curling her lips, "Am I too much for you old man?"

Negan's eyes narrowed and he growled, "The fuck did you just say to me?" His hips snapping forward with deep precision.

"Fuck." She groaned as he hit an incredible angle. "Negan."

The man was keeping a brutal pace, his hips rolling into her as his hands pinned her knees to the bed.

"Yeah. Fuck yeah." He moaned while draping her leg over his shoulder, the new position setting her off instantly. The grind of his body against hers and the deep sensation of Negan burying himself inside her, had Kayla shattering.

"That's it. Fuck Kay." He exclaimed, his grip tightening. "Cum for me sweetheart."

The couple was breaking together, Negan's hands held on as she swayed underneath him. A moan vibrated through his broad chest against her trembling thighs. Sitting back on his heels, Negan smacked her hip before ordering, "fucking knees now."

Maneuvering to all fours, Kayla felt Negan's hands slid up the back of her thighs. Shuddering as his blunt nails scratched over the curve of her ass, Negan's laugh made her blush.

"Goddamn. I thought your ass looked good in jeans." Negan moaned, his hands gripping her hips to yank her back against his groin. She laughed, her eyes meeting his over her shoulder, "Are you just gonna look at it?"

He growled, his fingers digging into her curves. "You're mouthy in bed aren't you."

Curling her lip she asked, "Just in bed huh?"

Negan's deep laugh echoed in the dark bedroom, his fingers gliding up her back. Pushing her shoulders down to the mattress, he had her ass arched high.

"Mm. Yeah. Fuck, just like that." He murmured, his voice rough as he positioned her hips and thighs the way he wanted. "You ready for this sweetheart?"

"Oh. You're still here? I was dozing." She snarked while stifling a giggle. A large palm landed on her ass with a loud smack, making her shriek before bursting into laughter.

"Smartass little bitch." He grumbled but Kayla could practically hear his smile. She was going to mouth off again but her breath was forced out of her lungs as Negan bottomed out with one deep thrust.

"Oh fuck me." She cursed, her lungs sucking in air jaggedly, her fingers clawing into the dark sheets.

"Yeah. That's what I fucking thought." He taunted with a wide grin, snapping his hips into her with a fierce pace. "Fucking fuck. Yeah, you takin' it doll?"

Kayla couldn't speak, her body was too overwhelmed with the man curling over her. Negan braced one hand on the headboard while wrapping an arm across her chest, his hand cupping her neck. With Kayla's back against his chest, Negan's quick panting filled her ear while he continued to pump into her. His whole body was consuming her while also filling her to the brim, it was everything the feral monster inside her wanted.

"You feel me yet sweetheart?" He rasped, his voice hoarse and out of breathe.

"Huh? Sorry… I w-was.. oh f-fuck… I was taking a n-nap." She taunted through stammered words, her voice cracking. Negan growled, his hand flexing around her neck while biting her shoulder almost painfully, "Fuck, Kaaay. Tell me."

"Wh-what? That I'm bored?"

"Tell me you like it." He snarled into her ear, his hand plunging between her legs to stroke her clit with broad circles. Shaking her head she muttered, "F-fuck off."

"Jesus if I had any fucking idea you'd be such a twat, I'd have kept it in my shorts."

Kayla muttered, "Liar" but then gasped as the thrumming of his fingers and the thrust of his dick had her breaking into pieces. Her body tried curling up as shudders ran through her spine but Negan kept her pressed against his front, her body taut and vulnerable.

"Yeah. Give it to me Kay." He demanded, his hand rubbing as she whimpered. "Fuck yeah sweetheart, another."

"Nee." She keened, her eyes watering at the total over sensitivity her body throbbed with. "Can't… I can't."

"Yeah you can..fuck yeah you can." He growled before pulling out and spinning her around with a dizzying speed. Seeing her teary eyes Negan paused, a large hand cupping her jaw.

"Hey. Hey." He murmured, looking her over with concerned eyes, "did I hurt you?"

"No." She moaned leaning forward to kiss him, her hands digging into his thick hair as she twirled her tongue around his. Negan's hands landed on her waist while he groaned into her mouth, her teeth sinking into his bottom lip.

"Ride me darlin'" he rasped, his hands grabbing her ass roughly. Kayla laughed as he flipped onto his back, his grip pulling her astride in one movement.

"Yeah. My girl looks good up there," he crooned, his hands sliding up her thighs and holding her waist. His thumbs stroked the curve of her stomach, tracing the dip of her belly button.

"Do I?" she asked shyly, her eyebrow raised as she rolled her hips.

"Yeah." He moaned, his hands cupping her breasts, massaging the soft skin. Kayla could feel him hard and throbbing between her thighs, his hands kneading her curves while breathing quickly.

Curling over him, Kayla kissed him slowly before whispering against his lips. "You're the best thing that's happened to me too."

Negan smiled widely, his hand stroking her neck. "Knew you liked me."

Kayla chuckled at his teasing words, rocking in his lap. Soon laughter faded and moans filled the room. Negan was thrusting upwards as Kayla swirled her hips, the couple holding on for dear life. Flipping them over, Negan took control again, his hips snapping aggressively in between her thighs.

"Cum Negan." She gasped, biting his lip and strong jaw. "Cum for me."

"Fuck Kay. I'm-." He seized up before pulling out to cum on her flushed skin. Kayla stroked him while a ferocious orgasm ripped through his body. His neck was arched back, veins bulging as he clenched his dark eyes and dug his fingers into her ass.

They kissed sloppily, opened mouthed and breathless. Negan pressed his forehead against hers while catching his breath, the moist air ghosting over her face. She felt herself shivering underneath him, little aftershocks jolting her.

Negan rolled off, pulling Kayla with him. She lay on his wide chest, her arm resting on his ribs. They were both panting heavily, Kayla's heart thudding against Negan's sweat slicked skin.

"How's your stomach?" She rasped, her eyes heavy and tired.

"M'fine." He mumbled, kissing her forehead.

"I knew you'd be fucking hot in bed." Negan remarked with a deep chuckle making her bounce against his ribs. Kayla snorted, her head tilting up to look at him. "Thought about it often huh?"

"Are you fucking kidding? Ever since I saw you behind those fucking bars." He laughed, his eyes gleaming, "Especially behind the bars."

"Shuddup." She huffed, her lips twitching at his boyish grin.

Negan laughed, his hand burying into her hair while pulling her mouth to his. He was devouring her and all she could do was submit.

"We're never leaving this fucking bed." He growled against her swollen lips. "Ever."

* * *

"Freak needs an attitude adjustment." Negan sneered, his eyes flashing to the man standing across the courtyard. Kayla glanced at Michael, his face almost emotionless except for his eyes. The dark gaze betraying him, he was clearly jealous and it was going to get him killed.

"Just leave him alone." She muttered, looking away from her friend. Growling, Negan turned to face her, his eyes dipping to catch hers. "Are you forgetting who you're talking too?" He snapped, motioning her to walk away from everyone else. Standing near the wall of writhing corpses, the pair stood facing each other. Kayla crossed her arms feeling defensive and irritated. She could feel the others watching as if waiting for the man to explode.

"You won't be like this in front of everyone." Negan spoke calmly but his eyes were livid. "You won't disrespect me or treat me like your pet dog over there."

"I just told you to leave it alone. I wasn't being disrespectful."

"You said leave him alone. Now why should I leave a guy who is eyefucking my girl while I'm standing right there alone, Huh?" He growled, stepping closer to make her head tilt back awkwardly. "You. Are. Mine. Not his. If he keeps looking at you while giving me the stink eye, I'm going to melt his fucking face off."

Grinding her teeth, she wanted to argue but knew if she did, Negan would push back and if he ever found out Michael had kissed her… well it was just better if she played along.

Kayla sighed, letting out a calming breath before speaking, "he's having a tough time. Just… can you cut him a break? For me?"

Negan huffed out a irritated breath, wringing Lucille's handle as she sat on his shoulder. "Whatever." He grunted, squinting as he looked over at Michael and the other Saviors. "He's on thin fucking ice. If he keeps this shit up I'm sending him to an outpost. I'm not coddling any fucking pussies, he can grow the fuck up and get over himself."

Stepping forward, she looked over his shadowed eyes and pale lips. He was still sick from his injuries and infection yet he wouldn't slow down.

"Go back upstairs." She urged softly, "you're over doing it again. I have watch on the roof and then we can have dinner. Maybe watch a movie or something?"

Leaning forward, Negan cupped her jaw and kissed her deeply. Kayla clutched his leather jacket as he pressed his hand into her lower back, pinning her to his chest. He tasted of mint and smelled of aftershave and soap. She couldn't hold in her moan at feeling the strong lean body that had bent her over the couch that morning. Flashes of him grabbing and thrusting into her with such force to break furniture had her desperate for more.

Dipping his head into her neck, she felt him inhale deeply before kissing her behind the ear. "See you soon doll." He whispered, pulling back to smile down at her. Feeling dazed, she nodded and watched him head back inside. As he passed by, Negan glanced at Michael and gave him the middle finger as well as a wide satisfied grin, the gesture obviously meant to rub their relationship into her friend's face. Sighing Kayla couldn't help but frown at both of them. 'Overgrown man-babies.' She thought to herself while climbing the stairs.

* * *

The sound of rapid gunfire had Kayla running up three flights of stairs to the main observation deck. Vehicles surrounded the Sanctuary's gate, men and women armed with rifles and handguns were shooting the dead and living alike. Using her radio she called out the aggressors' numbers and weapons as well as relaying their positions to Saviors inside the sniper stands.

Using the binoculars sitting on the scouts perch she scanned the attacking forces, her breath catching as she found not only Rick but Carl shooting at them.

"Motherfuckers." She growled, her fists tightening around the binoculars in anger and frustration. Kayla shouldn't be surprised but she seemed to have forgotten how shitty people really were. They had given them ammunition to protect themselves from the skinwalkers and there they were, firing those rounds at Sanctuary.

'Negan is going to flip his shit.' She thought as the gunfire continued. 'And he's going to kick my ass.'

Taking in a slow breath she tried to decide how to keep her home safe while not killing her not so distant past.

"Fuck it." She muttered, making a split decision, Kayla would call out everyone but the Grimes boys' position. She had no qualms about killing every single other person, they knew what they were doing was going to get them killed. So did Rick and Carl but they were different. No matter how much she hated it, Kayla couldn't let go of who they once were to her. Family.

Four of their shooters were hit and were either dead or badly injured. She watched as they began to retreat, dragging their injured away as Simon ordered over the radio to pursue them. Growling under her breath she listened as Negan came on the radio, his militant voice demanding they round up all of the assholes alive.

"I want to personally escort every fucking last cock sucking motherfucking one of them to the gates of hell. Lucille will drown in their blood."

Kayla swallowed thickly as she headed to their bedroom. She was surprised he hadn't joined the fight but knew he was in far more pain than he was admitting too.

Entering the room she found him trying to get dressed, his forehead sweaty as he struggled with his pants. "Don't start." He barked before she could speak, groaning as he stood up. Kayla could already see blood on his bandages, her hands instantly going to brace him.

"Negan." She sighed, holding him upright as he buckled his belt. Kayla peered up at him, her eyes scanning his clammy skin and shadowed sockets.

"I said don't." He snapped, his tone threatening but also strained with exhaustion.

"Ok. Just let me wrap your stomach tighter at least? You're already pulling your stitches out." She offered, her tone softening as she cupped his injury.

"Fine." He grunted, lowering himself to the edge of the bed. Kayla grabbed a thick ace bandage and began wrapping his ribs and stomach to keep his stitches from tearing.

"Who was it?" He growled, his eyes clenching as he stood to put a shirt on. Pursing her lips she replied, "I saw Alexandrians, maybe some from Hilltop."

"Motherfucking Prick." He sneered while roughly pulling on a button shirt. "He was there wasn't he? That fucking fucker uses our goddamn ammo on us?! I'm gonna tear him a new gaping asshole the size of Texas!"

Nodding she chewed her cheek and asked, "you gonna kill him?"

"Oh I'm gonna kill a lot of people Kay. It depends on Rick if he's one of them." He chuckled dryly, his eyes cold not amused, "you will not try to stop what's about to happen doll. Not one fucking word in front of my men. This isn't the time to be mouthy. Got me?"

Clenching her teeth Kayla dipped her chin as she asked, "Can you spare Carl?"

His eyes squinted in thought before he scrubbed his jaw. "Fine. The little serial killer lives but I swear to fuck, it's his last chance. I will take his other eye out, right before I strap him to the wall the next time he points a gun at me or what's mine."

* * *

A large group of Saviors chased down some of the group who had attacked Sanctuary. They caught more than a dozen, Rick and Carl being two of them. Kayla stood behind Negan, her arms cradling a rifle as he strolled back and forth as if not injured. She could see the stiffness in his back but others would be hard pressed to find a weakness in the proud posture. Lucille was twirling in his wrist as he wandered in front of the group of beaten and bloodied survivors. Kayla saw a few from Hilltop and even one soldier from Kingdom.

'Shit, either they'll over throw us or the skin jobs will.' She thought worriedly. They needed to figure out a way to both destroy the skinwalkers while pacifying the war between communities.

" _This_... this can not fucking stand." Negan hollered, pointing his bat into the face of every person in front of him. "You come to my fucking home?" He sneered, waving Lucille to the men surrounding them. "You kill my men with ammo I fucking gave you in good faith. Men that have been killing biters and those skin wearing fucks for you ungrateful pricks! Well fuck you ALL very much." His voice booming, his eyes so fiercely narrowed Kayla wasn't sure anyone was walking away.

"Fuck you." He jeered, pointing at Rick and everyone down the line, "and fuck you, and you and fucking you! Not fucking cool man. Just, fucking fucked."

Staring down at a man from Hilltop who had the audacity to smirk, Negan shoved him to the ground before kicking him in the stomach until he puked.

"This type of mutiny will not be tolerated. Blood has been shed and I want blood in return. Fucking  _lots_  of it." Negan's voice was too calm, his head cocking to the side while looking at every person kneeling in the dirt.

When he got to Rick he walked over to the man, bending at the waist to hiss into Rick's bloodied face. "I am going to kill people right now but I want you to know that this is  _your_  doing. When you go home to these dumb fuckers loved ones, you tell them it's your fucking fault because you thought you'd try to win a dick measuring contest but guess what Prick? I have the biggest swinging dick in four counties."

Standing up he rested Lucille on his shoulder and Kayla ached to tell him to stop. He was too injured to be swinging Lucille like he did, he would tear everything in his stomach and probably bleed profusely but she stayed silent as requested. There wasn't anything she could do if he wanted to kill Rick and Kayla wasn't too sure how she would feel. There would be sadness, loss and guilt but if she thought about it, she'd lost him long ago. The Rick she used to know was dead.

Spinning on his heel, Negan sauntered down the line. "And now I'm going to peg each and every last one of you with my giant rod." He drawled with a sardonic grin, strolling down the line, "decisions, decisions. Who to bash the holy hell out of first? I simple can not choose."

Kayla had to give it to him, he was a showman for sure. Close to mesmerizing but leaning more towards horrifying. Like a gruesome car accident, one couldn't look away from. Everyone looking for spilled blood and carnage.

"Please." A woman begged, "I didn't want to-."

"What doll? Didn't want to try to kill me? Kill my people?"

"We just... I just wanted-."

"You know." Negan growled before slapping her, the woman falling to the ground. Kayla grimaced as she spit out blood, her lip split open.

"I actually don't give a fuck." Negan jeered at her, his teeth barred. "There's no acceptable reason for this goddamn shitfest so shut your fuck hole."

Rick tried to speak up but ended up spread out on the ground from a hit to the back of the head. Negan barked out a laugh and thanked Simon for putting him in his place.

"Alright. Let's get on to the punishment phase, I'm bored as fuck with killing you pricks. It's lost its magic you could say but someone's has got to do the dirty work." Negan drawled, twirling the bat in a circle playfully.

Ending up in front of a large man with shaved head, Negan brought his bat down with a heavy swing. Grunting, the bald man fell to the ground as the others cried out. Negan hit him twice more before standing upright. She could see him grimace, his twisted mouth could be seen as anger but the cold sweat told her it was pain. The guy twitched on the ground which would've had Negan bludgeoning him further if it were any other day but instead he gestured for one of the Saviors to finish it. The gunshot echoed in the clearing, the body lying still. Negan raked a hand through his hair while strolling in a circle. He was breathing heavy and Kayla could see the pain radiating off him.

"Ahhh." He sighed, pointing a hand at the mutilated corpse, "that's one. I think I waaaaaant... four more."

Rick began begging for leniency but Negan had his men beat Rick until he was on the ground gasping for air. Motioning to four of the kneeling people Negan ordered, "load these fuckers up. I wanna take my time and that gunshot is bringing the dead." Saviors grabbed the people he'd pointed at, two men and two females, while the others pleaded for their friends and family.

"Strip 'em all. I want every weapon, coat and pair of fucking shoes on them. Load up their vehicles, their mine now. They can walk their stupid fucking asses home." Negan shouted, pointing Lucille in Rick's bruised face, her blood coated barbs catching his beard. "This blood is on you Prick. All you've got to do is find me shit and sit pretty. It's not that hard."

"We're starving-."

"Not likely." Negan hissed, bending to snarl in his face, "you're being fed by Hilltop and Kingdom. You think I haven't noticed their light deliveries? You're gonna get everyone killed Prick if you don't fall in line. I have bent over backwards for you fucking fucks."

Squeezing Rick's neck with his gloved hand, Negan sneered, "you think you're gonna survive the next time they come pounding on your gates? Enjoy watching you kids eaten Rick because my men won't be helping you when your walls fall. You're fucking fucked now Prick."

Shoving him away, Negan stood up with a scowl but then smiled widely at the other kneeling men and women. They had been stripped of their coats and shoes, all bare foot and shivering. Kayla frowned at it but said nothing, she'd promised and she owed Negan more than she owed Rick or his people.

"Ladies and pricks, have a good evening hiking home in the dark. Try not to freeze to death."

Kayla started to walk away when Carl grabbed her wrist, "please."

Yanking away from him she muttered, "you guys did this to yourselves Carl. There's nothing I can do."


	18. Chapter 18

Simon was driving as Negan and Kayla sat in the backseat of one of their new vehicles. The passenger seat was shoved all the way up to accommodate Negan's long limbs. He was leaning back to keep his stomach from bending, pain lacing his eyes. Kayla stayed silent, looking him over worriedly but knowing he was far from in the mood for her coddling.

"Jimmy and Arat took a group to Alexandria looking for the guys posted there. No signs of 'em." Simon spoke gruffly from the front seat, smoothing back his wild hair.

"They drawn on?" Negan asked, his voice rough and exhausted.

"Yeah. I sent another group to back them up and clear the town of weapons again."

"You got enough boys?"

"Yeah Boss. No worries." He assured nodding his head while turning the wheel lazily.

Negan scoffed, closing his eyes to rest on the drive home. "The day there's no worries will be the day I grow a second dick that cums rainbows."

Kayla watched as Negan dozed next to her, his head resting against her shoulder. Glancing at Simon in the rear view mirror she saw him looking at the sleeping man.

"He doin' aright?" He asked quietly, his eyes returning to the road. Kayla looked down to see Negan's closed eyes and slow breathing before answering. "He's tired and over doing it but ok. He's probably pulled his stitches with that performance."

"You don't agree with it?" He asked with narrowed eyes. Kayla knew most of Negan's men didn't like her, they saw her as the girl Negan wanted to fuck and now had. She'd proven herself of course but they still resented her in ways she would never be able to solve. She was closer to the boss than anyone else could be, safe from his full wrath and had the ability to whisper in his ear. Kayla had power that others did not.

"I would've preferred he just shot the fucker. He doesn't need to lose more blood."

Simon grunted, seemingly appeased with her answer. "I'm surprised you're ok with it, Rick being your  _whatever_."

"He's not anything to me now." She muttered, peering out the window in thought. Her mind flashing to Carl gripping her wrist and saying "please." Sighing inwardly she chewed her lip while thinking over if she really could do anything about the situation. It wasn't something she had started or even been around when it started. She knew Negan's men tried to rob Rick's people, who in turn killed them all. The tit for tat went on and eventually Negan had staked claim on Alexandria and now there they were. One community attacking the other only to be attacked by the other. It was an endless cycle and the only outcome so far were more dead people, not something they needed anymore of. She had told Carl there was nothing she could do but maybe there was, maybe if she thought hard enough she could come up with a way to stop all the death. Maybe there would be a world left for Judith to grow up in.

* * *

They unloaded the prisoners Negan had taken, the leader ordering them to be sent to the cells. Kayla followed him upstairs once he had given Simon and Javier orders and checked in with the doctor. Four Sanctuary residents were injured and three saviors were dead. Once Negan was satisfied things were under control he headed upstairs to their apartment with Kayla in tow. They entered the bedroom and Kayla instantly grabbed the first aid kit she'd had for his injury. Negan wasn't sitting though, the man still angsty and irritable, paced the floor. He grabbed a handful of his hair in frustration and growled lowly, his narrowed eyes landing on her. Kayla hadn't spoken much since they'd left, her teeth aching from her clenched jaw.

"You aren't going to give me some lip?" He sneered, the anger for the day thrown her way.

"No." She replied calmly before ordering him. "Sit down."

Negan huffed out a breath and sat on the end of the bed. He groaned with the action making Kayla frown. Standing between his legs, she removed his shirt and unwrapped his stomach to find he had pulled four stitches.

"Shit." She cursed under her breath while placing pressure on his wound as it gushed. "I gotta call doc. You need stitches again."

"He's fucking busy with real shit. Do it for me." He rasped, hissing as she pressed harder into the injury. "Easy doll."

"Shuddup." She snapped, while glaring at him. "why in the flyin' fuck would you use Lucille? You could've really hurt yourself. You did hurt yourself."

"I had to seem normal." He groaned as she wiped the raw skin with alcohol swabs. "I'm not some pussy. My men and theirs needed to see that."

"Whatever. Next time just shoot them." She replied, her mouth scowling as she realized she was about to sew his skin shut. "This is gonna hurt baby." She warned, frowning as her hand trembled.

Negan finally made eye contact that wasn't through angry eyes. Sighing, he leaned his forehead against her chest, his arms wrapping around her hips tightly. She felt his warm breath seeping through her shirt and smirked as he nuzzled into her breasts with a content sigh. "Thank you for taking care of this sweetheart." He rasped after a moment of holding her.

Kayla nodded, leaning down to kiss the top of his head. "Lay down and I'll get this over with."

Stretching out on the bed, Negan closed his eyes as she worked. Every poke of the sharp needle had Kayla biting her lip roughly. She had stitched a few people up before, she'd even done herself but for some reason gouging into Negan was a hundred times more difficult.

"Almost done." She murmured as he grunted while she pulled the thread through the flayed skin. Tying the thread off, she clipped it and wiped him down again with alcohol swabs. After she bandaged him with new gauze, Kayla kicked off her shoes and climbed into bed with him. Sliding up next to him, she snuggled her face into his bare chest. He smelled of sweat and blood, his own and whoever he'd killed, but she didn't care. The day had been exhausting and all she could think about was sleeping while burrowed into Negan's side.

"You okay?" He asked, his lips resting against the warm skin of her forehead.

"Yeah. Tired." She murmured, kissing the tattoo on his chest chastely before peering up at him. "I'm not disagreeing with anything you did today."

"But?" He prompted with an eyebrow raised, his hand brushing hair behind her ear.

"If we keep going as we are I'm afraid it'll take one big herd sent here by those fucks and our walls will fall. We lost a dozen protecting Hilltop, three today. Probably four more if they killed our guys in Alexandria. We need more bodies to either take those fuckers out or fight these three separate communities. We can't do both anymore."

"So what're you saying?"

Swallowing thickly she tried to grow a giant pair of balls to speak the words she'd been thinking about all day while standing silently behind Negan. All afternoon and evening she had run through countless scenarios to figure out how they could deal with both problems. It always came back to their numbers and lack there of. If they went after the supplying communities, they'd leave their home unguarded. The skinwalkers would take the opportunity and there was no doubt in Kayla's mind that they had scouts hanging out in the woods as stray biters. If they ignored Rick and his followers in order to attack the herders, they would suffer a similar fate. The only way she saw Sanctuary still standing at the end of all of it was for them to either recruit a large number of people, something that was now a finite resource, or do something Negan would never want to agree too. Especially with the current mutiny fresh in his mind.

"Well?"

Kayla chewed her cheek and muttered, "hear me out before you respond."

Negan's gaze narrowed at her words but he nodded slowly, his finger twirling a lock of her hair.

"I've been thinking all day. Looking for a way to survive this shit."

"Doll-."

"Quiet." She ordered, her eyebrow raised threateningly but her lips twitching.

Laughing a little he sighed, "Go on."

"The skinwalkers are a threat to all of us. Alexandria, Hilltop, Kingdom. None of them will survive those freaks without us. We have the armory and the experience. They have jack shit now that we stripped them. You saw the weapons they'd scrounged. Nothing compared to us. We need an army, they have the bodies. We need to work something out."

" _Work something out?_ " He sneered, his voice turning into something cold and threatening. "I didn't agree with using Kingdom when Simon suggested it, why the  _fuck_  did you think I'd say yes now?"

"It's the only way we survive, either from the freaks or Rick's people, we won't be able to hold off either one forever. We've lost too many people. We need to subcontract out an army Negan. The enemy of our enemy is our friend."

"Friend?" Negan growled, his eyes going to the windows as if disgusted. "Did you not see the shit they just pulled?"

"I don't like it anymore than you do." Kayla added, her hand stroking his chest to soothe herself more than him. Negan may give her some leeway to say what she was thinking but Kayla knew there was a limit. "We have leverage though. You took prisoners and we can use them to get Rick and his idiots followers to help kill those bastards."

Negan seemed to chew on the idea, his breathing slow and even. "And after?" He asked, his eyes flicking back to her after a few minutes of silence. Kayla shrugged slightly, "it could go back to business as usual but they'll know we have weak numbers then. How we survive might need to change."

Grunting he looked away again and thought over her words, his eyes distant and face blank. She left him to it, her head resting heavier on his chest as exhaustion took her.

* * *

Negan had been quiet for the entire evening and into the morning. Kayla was waiting for him to blow up and call her a traitor but it never happened. She wouldn't blame him, she felt like a traitor even mentioning the need to work with the other communities to take out the threatening group. There just didn't seem to be any other way, not with the number of Saviors they'd lost in recent months.

"Come with me." He told her near lunchtime, clothed in his normal leather and Lucille resting on his shoulder. Kayla scrambled to grab her weapons and followed him out the door. They passed his wives, the man's head not even turning to look at the still scantily clad women. Sherry gave her a questioning look but minded her own business as Negan shoved the door open loudly.

The couple moved down the long hallways and stairwells, coming to a stop at the prisoners rooms. Kayla could hear a few crying but otherwise the hallway was quiet as two guards patrolled the area.

"Any problems boys?" He drawled, his eyes looking over to the two now kneeling in front of him, gesturing for them to stand.

"No sir." The man with a buzz cut replied as he clambered to his feet, his heavyset body weakening his knees. "just a couple of big babies."

Negan chuckled obnoxiously, his head thrown back. "Big babies huh?" He spoke with another quiet laugh. "Open this one up. I wanna have a little visit with these big babies."

Once the door was opened they found two woman bound and gagged sitting on the cement floor. Kayla grimaced at the sight of their dirty faces. One of them was the woman Negan had backhanded, her lip now swollen and scabbed.

"Doll can you do me a favor and take the gags off for me?" Negan spoke, leaning against the wall casually, his ankles crossed. Kayla nodded, crouching down to remove the cotton knowing he couldn't possible kneel with his injury still healing.

"Please... p-please." The woman begged as soon as her gag was out. Her voice hoarse from crying. "Please don't kill me. Please."

Negan laughed heartily as she began crying and pleading instantly. "Fuck Billy wasn't kidding." He snorted, "big fucking babies. I mean you come to kill my men and you're surprised to end up here? I mean really sweet cheeks, what were you expecting me to do after you attacked? Throw you a fucking ticker tape parade? Invite you to Sunday dinner?"

His voice grew into something hard and angry, a maliciousness that Kayla knew well. Negan wanted to kill someone, he wanted to punish someone. She wasn't too sure he would stop himself, even if he had decided to use them as leverage.

"How about you Red. You gonna plead and cry like some little bitch?" Negan asked, an eyebrow raised as he looked over the other woman. "Gonna beg for leniency?"

"No." She growled, her thick eyebrows furrowed, "go fuck yourself."

Kayla smirked at the ground as the woman sneered angrily at Negan. Laughing loudly, Negan threw his head back and grabbed his stomach as if throughly amused. When he made eye contact with Kayla he pointed at the redhead. "She reminds me of someone."

Rolling her eyes Kayla looked the woman over, her sweaty shirt clung to her bones shoulders. The skin that had once been fair was red with sunburn and peeling. Both women looked rough to Kayla, they were living a hard life. She hadn't seen her before but that didn't mean much. Kayla hadn't been on runs much since her broken leg.

Kayla stood back as Negan towered over the woman, his smile turning salacious. "You know I just took one redhead as a wife, maybe I need another." He spoke, licking his lip as if contemplating it. The kneeling woman sneered, "I'd rather eat a bullet than fuck a pig like you."

"Woh oh oh oh. Listen to the lips on this one, doll." He chortled, his eyes amused and twinkling. "Goddamn I'd like to sink my dick in your throat to shut you up."

Kayla ground her teeth at his sexual taunts, her fists clenching at the urge to smack the shit out of him.

"You let him talk like that?" The woman asked Kayla, her green eyes wild and taunting. "I guess you all spread you legs for him right, you number ten or eleven?"

Kayla clenched her teeth as the woman prodded into her weak spot. She was far from comfortable with her relationship with the man. It was still early and no matter how sure she was about her own feelings, Kayla was unsure about his.

"Now, now. There's enough of me to share girls." He drawled with a cocky grin, raking his hair back with a wink.

Negan circled the women, standing obnoxiously close behind them. Bending at the waist he whispered not so quietly, "if I had my way I'd beat you black and blue with my dick sweet cheeks and then you would swallow my load with a grin."

The woman spit on the floor, "in your dreams pig."

"You know what you'd say after that?" He asked ignoring her statement, his eyebrow raised as he wander around them in a intimidating circle. Kayla swallowed thickly as he glanced at her with a smirk.

"Thank you sir may I have a-fucking-nother!" He bellowed with a giant shit eating grin, before ordering. "Gag these cunts. I'm tired of their whining."

Kayla did as she was told, the redhead struggling with her as she shoved the bandana in her mouth. Grabbing her face, Kayla growled under her breath, "hold fucking still before he kills you."

Standing up she joined Negan in the hallway as the guards locked up. Motioning to the other doors, Negan stated, "let me see the men."

When the guards turned to unlock the cell door he leaned into Kayla, his lips brushing across her ear and murmured, "you know I'm just fucking with them right?"

Shrugging as if the incident hadn't bothered her, she replied dryly, "I've always known you are full of shit."

Negan snickered, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and kissed her temple before pulling away to intimidate the other prisoners.

* * *

Kayla stopped at the doctor's office for another pack of antibiotics for Negan's wound, the infection almost cleared up but still troublesome. She chatted with Doc about the supplies to keep an eye out for and then headed towards the living quarters. Turning a corner, Kayla found Michael walking towards her. Swallowing thickly she smiled nervously. "Hey, how's it goin?"

Michael grunted, shrugging his shoulder while looking away pensively. "M'fine. How's your head?"

Touching the spot on her scalp where dead Stu tore her hair out. "Better. It's not visible thank god. I don't need a damn bald spot."

Michael chuckled and rubbed his eyebrow, "I could be into bald chicks. We could shave each other's heads."

Snorting she blushed, looking away. "Shut up. Weirdo."

Laughing easier, his face more relaxed than when they first started speaking. He leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. "Missed this." Michael muttered, his eyes narrowed as he stared down the dim hallway. "Look uh..."

"Michael."

"No. Just listen..." Michael spoke gruffly, scrubbing his face a few times. "We were on the road when it happened." Kayla peered over at him with a wrinkled brow, she wasn't sure what he was talking about until she saw the look in his eye. Michael never spoke of his family and how he lost them but there were moments when she saw him clearly thinking about it. His eyes haunted and soul crushed in some invisible fist.

"Nina was driving, I'd been driving for hours and needed to sleep so she took over. She didn't see the trap until we drove into it."

Chewing her lip she watched him shake his head slightly, the memories weighing his expression down. "They were robbing people. Set a nice trap with narrow lanes and nowhere to go. They uh... they just yanked her out. I tried to fight them off but they just took her. Dj was in the backseat and I had to protect him from the others, I couldn't get to her so they just... took her. Nina was… she was beautiful. A great mom, protective and fierce when it came to her baby. She didn't scream for help the last time I saw her. She told me to run. Take Dj and run…."

Swallowing a sob, Kayla reached out and gripped his wrist to comfort him in some way. He looked at her hand for a long moment before continuing. "There were four on me and my son. They had knives, hammers, lead pipes and they weren't looking for any loose ends. They didn't need us alive. Dj... he uh.. he got cut real bad and by the time I finally killed 'em all he was gone."

Her breathing was shallow and fast, the emotional impact of Michael's story causing a deep ache in her chest for him. It was one thing to lose family to a walker, it was the way of the world but when they were taken by other living breathing humans, the act was laced with betrayal. The living shouldn't kill the living. Kayla couldn't help but think about how the Saviors were something eerily similar to the men who killed Michael's family. They weren't murdering children but they were pillaging and taking. It made her even more determined to find a way to change the way things were. There had to be better ways to survive. Better ways to live.

"I chased them down. Found their base and killed every single one of them. I did things I never thought I was capable of." He rasped, his voice so hoarse Kayla strained to hear him. "I was too late though, just like with Dj. They'd taken  _everything_. She was nothing but a broken doll when I found her. Disposed of her in a creek with three other women. Just a bunch of garbage to them."

Clenching her teeth as the images drowned her, Kayla stepped closer to him and whispered, "I'm so sorry Michael."

He peered down at her and rasped, "me too."

Michael cupped her elbow, his thumb brushing her arm softly, "I died that day too and for a long time I was just... dead."

Glancing at his hand she felt the pull she once had for him, the deep throb for him caught her off guard but she shoved it away. She was with Negan. She  _loved_  Negan. Clearing her throat she murmured, "you're not dead now."

"No I'm not." He spoke gruffly, his eyes watching his calloused thumb stroke her skin. "And... I think you know why."

Shaking her head Kayla insisted, "it's not just because of me, Michael. You did this, you're living because you chose too. It's not me."

"It was you, Kay. Now it's me but it was you that pulled me back and I know it's not gonna be the way I want it to be. You aren't going to be with me like I want you to be and that's... fuck it sucks but I can't change it. So I gotta live with it."

Biting her lip she peered up at him as squeezed her arm before letting it go, his arm dropping heavily to his side. "I'll take what I can get. I don't want to lose you all together. I'll do what I gotta do. I wish things were different, that you weren't with him or didn't feel the way you do but uh… I'm happy for you." He finished with a weak smile. "You deserve to have that and I just hope that we can still have this at least."

Sighing she smiled and tried to break the tension, "Of course. And I've missed you too, I have no one to make fun of and boss around."

Huffing out a breath, he shoved playfully making her laugh. "Fucker." He grumbled, crossing his arms and puffing his chest up as if angry.

Chuckling Kayla gripped his forearm and murmured, "friends?"

Michael's eyes softened but were tinged with sadness. Kayla was close to begging him to still be friends with her when he interrupted her. "Friends." He rasped, clearing his throat before tipping his head to the staircase. "Gotta head up to watch. I'll see you later?"

"Sure." She said with a smile before frowning slightly. "Thank you for telling me about..."

"thanks for listening." He murmured before walking away from her, Kayla watching him silently.

* * *

Kayla felt awkward as she entered the bedroom, her run in with Michael kept running through her head. Not only had he kissed her recently and confessed his feelings but now he shared his history. Her mind was filled with confessions and feelings of guilt. The man loved her, or in the very least, believed he did. She couldn't stop thinking about it but she needed too. Negan couldn't know half of the things Michael had done and said to her, the man would lose his mind with jealousy.

"You get the meds?" Negan asked from the bathroom, the sound of a beard trimmer muffling his voice.

"Yeah." She replied, leaning in the doorframe to watch him trimming his salt and pepper whiskers.

"Silver fox." She teased with a coy smirk.

Negan barked out a laugh, his head tilted to the ceiling in mirth before his amused eyes landed on her in the mirror. "Cute doll."

"I know I am." She replied, hopping onto the sink and taking the tool from him. Negan stepped between her legs, his hands sliding up her thighs, his fingers curling into her hips. "Gonna get hair all over you." He muttered as she maneuvered the shaver over his strong jaw.

"All well. I guess I'll have to take all these clothes off when we're done."

Negan grinned at her, his forehead dropping to hers. "Promise?"

"Mmmhmm." She replied, tilting his head back to finish his cheeks. "You can even do it for me."

"Mmm." He hummed, as she ran her hand over his jaw and cheek to loosen any stray hairs. "I like you taking care of me."

Kayla smiled at him, her hand sliding the razor over his cheek. "Good thing I like taking care of you."

Once done, Negan washed his face before his heavy gaze landed on her. "C'mere." He murmured.

Backing away she smiled, shaking her head. "Nope."

"Yes." He demanded, grabbing her arms and pulling her into his chest, his long limbs wrapping her up tightly. He nuzzled his face into her neck while backing her to the bed. "Need to get you out of these dirty clothes doll." He murmured, yanking her shirt from her body before pushing her onto the bed.

Kayla sat on the edge of the mattress as Negan dropped to his knees in front of her, his large hands sliding up her thighs to frame her waist. She bit her lip as he grinned at her, his fingers going to her belt. The sound of her buckle coming undone and then the rough movement of Negan yanking off her pants had her jolting out of her stupor. Raising her hips she wiggled to allow the fabric to be pulled off.

"Oh fuck." Negan moaned at the sight of her naked legs and panties, "pink huh? That's fucking hot."

Smirking at his hungry eyes Kayla teased, "should I leave 'em on?"

"Fuck no." He growled, his fingers curling into the sides of the thin fabric to drag it down her bare skin. "I wanna see all of you. Show me Kay.  _Show_  me."

Biting her lip shyly, Kayla peeked at him under her lashes the way he liked as she slowly spread her thighs. Negan groaned loudly, his eyes sliding shut but recovering quickly as his hands slid up her thighs to trace the wet folds with his thumbs. Her eyes dropped shut and her lips parted, a shuddered gasp escaping.

"Fuck yeah." He rasped, "goddamn look at you. Fucking wet and beautiful."

"Jesus." She moaned as his fingers dove into her with enthusiasm.

"Yeah sweetheart. You feel me?" He murmured, his mouth kissing and sucking on her stomach and biting her hips. "Fuck yeah you do."

"Negan." She moaned, her head thrown back as his mouth joined his fingers. Feeling him chuckle at her breathless whimpers, Kayla lay back onto the bed. Negan spread her legs wider, his broad shoulders pressing into her soft thighs as his mouth attacked her wet lips with fervor.

"Fuck. Yes." she moaned as his fingers curled inside her, his thick fingertips rubbing that hidden spot deep inside her. Negan licked and sucked her lips and clit, his deep growls causing delicious vibrations against her swollen flesh.

"Yeah. Kay. Fucking hot as shit." He grunted, his dark eyes peering up at her while his hand worked her over. She felt his hot breath on her core as she writhed on the edge of the bed.

"M'gonna... Fuck. Negan." She gasped, her hips rolling into his hands and mouth.

"Yes. Fuck yes. Cum baby girl. Cum on me." He panted while pumping his fingers into her.

Tiny jolts of pleasure had her body arching off the bed, her hands fisting the blankets as the tight coil Negan wound up shattered.

Kayla's mouth was open but nothing came out as her breath escaped her. After a few rapid heart beats her lungs kicked in, a shuddered gasp sucked in greedily. A whine shuddered through her the sound turning into a whimper as he continued to stroke and lick her.

"Fucking fuck." Negan growled in between her thighs, his tongue lapping up the wetness flooding from her. "Godfuckingdamn Kay. You feel how fucking wet you are?"

Panting heavily, Kayla peered down at him, her body flush with heat and damp with sweat.

"Never had to swallow before Kay. Consider yourself lucky." He joked, a shit eating grin splitting his face as he wiped his glistening chin with the back of his hand.

Snorting she flung an arm over her eyes as she blushed deeper. "Shuddup." She grumbled, embarrassed by her apparent fluid excess.

"Aww." He teased, "don't be shy. Fucking hot as shit. I mean I knew I was good but damn, I out did myself."

"Shuddup ass and get up here." She ordered, her eyes avoiding his.

"Hey." Negan murmured, "look at me."

Rolling her eyes, Kayla's gaze landed on him. The man was prowling over her onto the bed. Leaning against the headboard he patted his lap, motioning for her to climb on. Straddling his thighs, her wet core pressed into his hot skin, causing him to hiss with sensitivity.

"Fucking fuck." He groaned as she rolled her hips to slid along the hard length between his legs. "Ride my cock, sweetheart."

Rising to her knees, with her hands braced on his wide shoulders, Kayla sank onto him. Negan slowly filled her, his hands gripping her waist to control her speed. Moaning as he stretched and filled her, Kayla leaned forward to kiss him. He tasted like her, his tongue and lips slick with her juices. It had her devouring his mouth while he groaned deeply.

"Fuck. Kay, so tight." He moaned, his hips thrusting upward as his pinned her firmly against his lap.

"That's it. Good girl. Right fucking there." He murmured while rolling his hips into her faster. Kayla's nails bite into his thick muscles as she ground against him, her mouth moving to his neck. She hated to admit it but when he reassured her during sex she got wetter than ever before. Some deep seated part inside her needed the validation that she alone was causing him pleasure. Only her and no one else was making him moan and writhe. Kayla was becoming  _possessive_  of him, he was hers and no one else's.

She placed open mouthed kisses along his tan skin, her teeth nipped and licked a path up to his ear.

"Fuck. Yes. God." She moaned into his ear, her tongue tracing a hot trail along the edge of his ear. "Harder Negan." She growled, nipping the lobe, "don't be a fucking pussy."

He laughed breathlessly before flipping them over instantly. His hands pressed her thighs into the mattress, her legs spread wide as his hips snapped hard and fast into her. A guttural moan ripped out of her as he drove into with rapid speed and strength.

"Fuck that's it Doll. You feel me now huh? You fucking taking it?" He asked, his eyes blazing and mouth curled into a lascivious grin, "fuck yeah. Take that dick Kay. Fucking. Take. it."

"Yes." She moaned, her head thrown back and he violently ripped another orgasm out of her. "Negan... God... Fuck me."

A gruff laugh hit her ears while he continued to impale her through her body wracking shudders. "Hard enough Kay huh? You love it huh?" He panted over her, his voice breathless, "Fuck yeah you do. Look at you. Greedy little pussy."

Pulling out, Negan flipped her onto her knees before she could catch her breath. Using his knees, he spread her thighs wide and yanked her hips upwards before sliding inside with one deep stroke.

"Fuuuuuuuuck." He snarled, his fingers digging into hip and shoulder as he slammed into her hard and fast. "Yeah. Yeah. Come on. Gimme another sweetheart."

Pushing back into him, Kayla reached under her, her fingers sliding along side his cock as he slammed into her. A groan echoed in the room as he felt her touching herself and him.

"God fucking Damn. Kay. Fuck. That's it touch yourself. Good girl. Come on." His hand fisted her hair as he arched her body, his hips pumping a unforgiving pace.

Moving to her clit, her fingers stroked a tight hard circle while he moved fast and hard into her. Her body arched, her walls gripping him tightly by the root as he growled wildly, the man feeling her cum yet again. Negan's hips snapped forward as he throbbed into her heat, the head of his cock swelling inside her exponentially.

"Fuck!" He snarled, driving into her deeply before pulling out to spill onto her back. She leaned back into him as he rolled his hips into the curve of her ass, warmth trailing up her spine.

"Jesus fucking fuck." He moaned, before falling to the side. "Holy hell. I think I'm having a coronary."

Kayla snorted obnoxiously, her body collapsed onto her stomach, her hair falling in her sleepy eyes. Blinking slowly she watched a Negan raked the messy tendrils from her face with a loopy grin on his face. "Look drunk," she mumbled into the pillow as he settled onto his side next to her.

"Feel drunk," he muttered, rubbing sweat from his eyes and forehead, "drunk on pussssaaaaaay."

"Shuddup." She mumbled with a chuckle, "perv."

"You love it." He commented throwing his shirt over her back to soak up the mess he left, his hands drying her skin. Kayla smirked at him as he worked and commented, "thanks."

"Figured I made the mess. Unless you're thanking my for the good dicking, then your welcome." He raised an eyebrow and gave her a cheeky grin.

"Both I suppose."

"Good girl."

"Shuddup." She sighed, "I'm not a fucking dog."

"No you're fucking gorgeous."

"You know what I mean."

"So do you. Stop trying to be offended. Besides you like when I say it while buried deep inside you." Negan's brow raised as if daring her to deny it. Kayla couldn't though, her body was way too loud with its satisfaction. Feeling embarrassed of her reactions, Kayla muttered, "That's different."

"Why?"

"Because, I like.." She trailed off but continued as he stared at her waiting for the confession. "I like knowing I'm pleasing you. It turns me on."

Negan's eyes widened slightly and his lips parted, his breath coming a little faster. "Fuck Kay. That's goddamn hot."

Shrugging, she bit her lip feeling self conscious about the confession. She wasn't into the whole domination routine but she enjoyed the masculinity Negan exuded and she enjoyed knowing she was giving him pleasure. His filthy mouth and dirty encouragement during sex got her going.

"You really fucking please me Kay." He murmured, scooting closer to her, a large hand stroking up the back of her thigh and over the curve of her ass. His stroked her back and shoulders, his fingers tucking hair behind her ear before leaning in to kiss her softly on the forehead. "You're all I want." Negan whispered, the gravel in his throat making the words even more warming. A juxtaposition of soft words spoken through rough sounds.

Letting her eyes close for a moment, goosebumps broke out across her body, the need to feel like enough filled with one short sentence. Opening them slowly she saw him watching her closely, a smile curling his lips.

"You get off on me reassuring you huh?"

"Yeah." She breached, her eyelids heavy. "Probably some fucked up daddy issue."

Snorting Negan rasped, "I'm not that fucking old."

"Older than me."

"Whatever."

Kayla couldn't help but tease him, "I mean technically you are around my dad's age."

"Fuck off." He scoffed, his eyes narrowed as if angry.

"It's true."

"What happened with your dad to give you daddy issues?"

"You really wanna talk about my dad right now?"

"Not really but now I'm curious."

"How about we leave that shit for another time. I'd rather sleep than relive my shit childhood."

"Fucking fine. C'mere." He surrendered, his arm pulling her into his chest. His hand buried into her hair and he kissed her forehead again, his rough voice murmuring into her ear, "my good girl."

"Shush." She muttered despite the warmth growing in her chest at the words.

"Yes, dear."

* * *

Negan had a meeting with Simon and Javier as well as a few of his other trusted Saviors. Kayla sat nearby listening as he detailed their options.

"I say we just burn their fucking places to the ground and call it a day." Javier offered, lounging on a chair while picking his nails with a switchblade. Kayla rolled her eyes at the shortsighted suggestion, the man not even thinking about the repercussions of killing their main suppliers. Negan growled, "and how exact-fucking-ly are they going to bring us your cancer sticks if they're all fucking dead? You don't like having fresh produce or groceries?"

Javier shrugged, his eyes falling to the ground. "Just sayin' Boss. Their more trouble than their worth."

"Oh food is more trouble than it's worth?" Kayla snarked, her nose wrinkled. "That's fucking stupid Javie. We can't just kill them."

"You just want to save your precious boyfriend Rick." He sneered back, his lips curling up maliciously.

Growling she moved to stand up but Negan gave her a pointed look that told her to shut up. Crossing her arms she glared at the man who thought he'd gotten the last word in until Negan strolled around the desk with Lucille. Javier sat up straight as Negan circled the group, angry eyes piercing Javier for his insinuation of Kayla and Rick's relationship. Kayla smirked at the Savior as he grew increasingly stressed, the woman giving him the finger as the boss's back was turned.

"See what we have here is a conundrum." Negan drawled, twisting Lucille's handle in his hands while she rested on his shoulder. "A real pickle." He quipped, with a grin. "We have the skinjobs breathing down our necks while those little pricks are attacking us from the front."

Simon crossed his arms as Negan drawled, "we need to take out those freaks first. They aren't just fucking with us, their fucking with our suppliers. We've just stomped on Rick's dick, smashed his gonads with our boot heels. They don't have shit now."

"They had weapons because of her." Simon rasped, his angry eyes going to Kayla. Rolling her eyes, she felt everyone staring at her with distrust. Negan pursed his lips and walked closer to her. Feeling her spine stiffen she could feel him behind her as he spoke to Simon. "Are you saying I'm not making the decisions any longer?" Negan spoke evenly, his eyes far from controlled.

"No Boss. I was just-."

"Because Simon it kinda seems like you're saying I'm a fucking pussy." Negan spoke over Simon's denials. "I mean it sounds like you're trying to blame Kayla here for my goddamn decisions."

"Sir she-."

"She isn't in fucking charge!" Negan shouted loudly making everyone shrink into their seats. "She's a fucking advisor, just like you Simon and all I'm hearing from you is bitching and whining, not fucking shit to  _solve_  the problem."

Kayla chewed her lip as she began to feel really unsure with the ideas she'd spoken to Negan about. She didn't want to be wrong, she didn't want them to be overrun by either the skinwalkers or Rick's people. Negan sat down heavily into his chair, a scowl forming as his stomach obviously pulled on the injury.

"We are between a rock and a hard place ladies." He sneered, rubbing his jaw. "We need bodies, we need recruits. Any leads?"

"No Sir." Keith replied. "We haven't found anyone lately. We think it might be because of those skin wearing fucks. Killing off everything living."

Grumbling, Negan sat silently before asking Simon, "How many people do we need to take on that group with the plan you have?"

"I'll need at least fifty men but that will leave Sanctuary with hardly any security and would include residents that haven't been tested out there."

Nodding, he twisted Lucille in his hand as he seemed to come to a conclusion. "We have leverage over Rick and we can get more if we need to."

"Leverage for what?" Simon asked slowly, his eyes going to Kayla before returning to Negan. She shifted uncomfortably as Negan spoke, "leverage to make Rick and his merry band of pussies into human shields. We use them to crush those fucking freaks."


	19. Chapter 19

The other Saviors were not pleased with Negan's decisions and Kayla felt Simon and Javier glaring at her through the four-hour meeting. A sit down would be arranged with Rick and possibly the other leaders of the supply communities. A deal would be brokered, prisoners for muscle with promises of future agreements regarding supplies. Negan seemed to think they would be able to keep the same arrangement of half everyone's goods for protection but Kayla wasn't so sure. She hoped they could work something out that was far less volatile but still allowed Negan to feel in control because that was what it was all about. Men pissing lines in the sand, staking claim and refusing to lose face.

More than anything Kayla wished everyone would just shut up and try to survive together. The world was shitty enough and she was tired of fighting both the dead and the living. It was exhausting and completely impossible to achieve forever. Eventually a dead one or some other living breathing human would kill her. She wouldn't die of old age or some long-term illness. With the way life was at that given moment, her last breath could be the one out her lips as she thought about her mortality.

Taking a deep breath she looked over at Negan who was speaking to Simon while they looked over the latest ammunitions inventory. Eugene had begun production a few weeks prior and they had created a fairly good stockpile. With the firefight the previous week though, they had dipped into their reserves. She listened as Negan ordered for more people to help with the production line. He did not want to be caught with not just a lack of manpower but also firepower.

Motioning for her, Negan informed, "we will leave in the morning to meet Rick halfway. It's a huge flat piece of land so we can see what's coming from far away."

Nodding, she glanced at Simon to see his deep frown, his hands resting on his hips heavily. Chewing her lip she muttered, "and what are we asking?"

"We aren't asking shit. We are telling Pricky how the fuck it is and if they don't do what I fucking say we'll take something even more goddamn valuable to him than four random dickbags."

Kayla's eyes narrowed at the statement and she asked cautiously, "and what would that be?"

Negan smirked, his eyes dark and mischievous. "I think it's about time you get to spend some time with your niece. You haven't had any visitations yet."

"No." She growled, her eyes flaring brightly. "You will  _not_  do that."

Negan's eyes narrowed at her harsh tone, stepping forward to loom over her. "You wanna fucking say that again doll?"

"You will not use that little girl." She growled, jabbing him in the chest with a sharp finger. Slapping her hand away, Negan glowered at her angrily.

Simon stepped away as Negan growled, "Out. Everybody."

Kayla stood her ground, her arms crossed as he stared at her. Negan stepped closer so that her head was bent backwards awkwardly. Trying to step back to keep her neck from hurting, Negan's hand shot out and gripped the back of her neck with a gloved hand. She was forced to arch her head painfully as he growled next to her ear, "don't you  _ever_  speak to me that way again in front of my men. This is your last warning doll. I may give you some fucking leeway but you are batshit crazy if you think that shit will fly."

Kayla clenched her teeth and ached to smack the shit out of him. Her chest was heaving as anger began to roil through, her neck and face heating brightly.

"Fuck you Negan." She snarled, surprising the towering man by shoving him away. His hand gripped her hair as she tried to escape his grasp, pulling her backwards. Growling, Kayla swung her arms out trying to free herself only to be pinned against the wall suddenly. Negan's wide frame smashed her into the brick, her lungs depressing instantly. Gasping she tried to turn her face away from him but wasn't allowed the relief. Negan's gloved hand gripped her face tightly as he rasped, "now, now. No more of that."

"Let me go." She grunted, struggling against him with no real progress. He wasn't hurting her, only restraining, which actually irritated her more. Laughing he grinned devilishly at her and taunted, "No. I won't until you apologize and promise to stop being such a obstinate asshole."

"Jesus. Will you stop being such a dick?" Kayla snapped, rolling her body to try and squirm away from his pressing weight.

"No fucking way. Deal with it sweetcheeks." He mocked, patting her face too roughly. "Apolo-fucking-gize."

"I'm not apologizing, so either do whatever it is you think is necessary or fuck the fuck off. I'm not letting you use my niece like this." She snarled up at him, her teeth barred, "Don't make me choose."

Negan's eyes became narrow slits as he glowered down at her. "Choose what?"

"I'll do what I need to do to keep her safe Negan. That means if I gotta leave here to do it..."

"You'd leave?" He growled, pushing her harder into the wall making her groan. Overall, Kayla was angry with him restraining her but feeling the strength of his body stretched over her had a steady heat pooling in her stomach.

"What, you'll go live with  _Prick_? Huh?" Negan sneered, his dark eyes drilling into her as he rolled his hips against her suggestively. "You gonna go ride his dick how?"

"Jesus it isn't always about your damn dick Negan. I just want..." shaking her head to clear the list from her head, she looked away from him. "She's all that's left of my brother in this shit stained world and you bringing her into this war isn't happening. I've got to protect her, even it's from you."

Stepping away suddenly, Negan dropped his grasp of her causing her to crumple to the ground. Kneeling as she caught her breath, Kayla watched him pace. His long legs and wide shoulders seemed to consume the room.

Stopping in front of her he leaned down and growled, "fine. You want to protect her, then you get Rick to agree to my conditions. If you don't... well I guess we'll see how goddamn far you'll go to keep your blood safe."

"What does that mean?" she asked, swallowing thickly.

"It means you better be ready to make some hard fucking decisions doll because I'm taking everything Prick holds dear and  _nothing_  and  _no fucking one_ will stop me."

Negan stomped out of the room, his heavy boots echoing down the hallway as she watched. Sitting on her heels, Kayla rubbed her eyes in frustration. She wasn't sure how they went from being on the same page, to standing on opposite sides of the battlefield. Growling she climbed to her feet and headed through the hallways and down a few flights of stairs. With a plan formulating in her head, Kayla approached the large trailer Eugene was using to manufacture the guts to his ammunition. Striding in she found him wearing a large rubber apron and elbow length gloves, his face protected by large safety goggles. Snorting at his American flag shirt and outrageous mullet Kayla quipped, "how's it going Captain 'Merica?"

"It depends on the 'it' that you are referring too. If it is my day, then it is going resounding well but if you're inquiring about life in general, I would need to remind you that it is the end of times. Apocalypse is nigh if you will. That being said, how is your day progressing?"

Rolling her eyes, Kayla leaned against the counter next to him, her arms crossed. "Great. Now I have some questions."

"I may have answers to your inquires."

"Jesus Christ." She muttered under breath, frustrated with his vernacular. "What would it take to satisfy your people into a truce?"

"I am Negan." Eugene replied instantly, his nervous eyes flicking away from her. Growling, Kayla grabbed his apron in a tight fist and ordered, "drop the fucking bullshit. I don't care about that crap right now. What would it take to get Rick to fuck off and his people to fall in line?"

Eugene swallowed thickly, his eyes avoided hers and mumbled, "I am unsure if there is a way. Negan killed family."

"Rick killed my only family." She snapped, her dark eyes flaring as she glared at him. Eugene shifted uncomfortably as she let his apron go and muttered, "Why are you asking this?"

"I'm asking because war is happening out there and I'm fucking sick of it. None of us are going to survive those freaks and their herds. We need to work together and…" shaking her head she looked away before growling, "I gotta find a way to do it."

The man with his shaggy mullet sat down on a barstool nearby and spoke evenly, "Alright. Ask away."

* * *

Kayla found herself standing inside the RV Negan had taken from a nearby lot, the meeting with Rick about to take place. He sat on the long bench sofa, his legs outstretched and his hands behind his head. Negan looked as if he didn't have a care in the world but Kayla could see him working through the numerous scenarios of the meetings outcome.

"Why don't you sit down doll?" he muttered, his eyes looking over at her for a moment before fiddling with Lucille. "Take a load off."

"I'm fine." she muttered, her eyes going to the window to see a truck driving up. "They're here."

Negan opened the RV and climbed out, the vehicle bouncing as he stepped down. Kayla followed him, her hand resting near the gun strapped to her thigh. She wasn't too sure that Rick and his people wouldn't start shooting. The atmosphere was thick with tension as the two leaders approached each other. On top of the RV two snipers scanned the surrounding areas for other shooters. The last thing they needed was for another firefight to break out.

"Ricky. How's it hangin' my man?" Negan greeted, his grin wide and bright. Kayla stood to the side and watched Rick frown at them, three of his group following him. She looked them over for weapons and noticed only one of them was familiar. Michonne was standing behind Rick, her sword sticking up over her shoulder. She was flanked by two men Kayla was unfamiliar with.

"Negan." Rick replied, his voice dry and eyes calculating.

Smirking, the tall man sauntered closer and suggested, "No small talk, alright, alright. Let's head inside and get down to the nitty gritty, yeah?"

Negan entered first, sitting down at the table, Lucille propped next to him on the seat. Rick looked around suspiciously, his eyes flicking from the back to the front before scanning Negan and the table.

"Don't worry Pricky, if I wanted to kill you I already would have." Negan commented, relaxing in his seat as if to prove his point. Kayla stood near the small kitchenette, her hip propped against the low counter.

Rick sat down on a leather swivel seat, his back straight and elbows resting on the armrests.

"So how's things in Alexandria?" Negan asked conversationally with a smile, "Those deadheads come knocking yet?"

"You would know, you have men outside my walls." Rick rasped, his tone flat and eyes angry. Chuckling Negan drawled, "Tou-fucking-ché. I think you can understand  _why_  I feel the need to keep a fucking eye on your shenanigans Pricky. You don't have a very cool attitude about life right now dicknuts. It's all about you and your wants."

Rick growled lowly, his blue eyes turning ice cold. "And you don't?" he hissed, leaning forward aggressively. "You don't think what you do is selfish?"

"Of course it is but you see. I'm king fucking dick around here and you? Well… you aren't." Negan taunted, his eyes narrowing and lips curled in a sneer.

Kayla sighed loudly, her eyes rolling as they cursed each other inwardly, their glares only worsening. "How about we talk about why we're here instead of measuring each others dicks? Hmm?"

Negan barked out a laugh and crossed his arms. "Well you and I both know who'd win that goddamn contest don't we sugartits. See Rick she  _loves_  my big swinging dick." He smirked devilishly at Rick who looked offended at Negan's filthy mouth.

"You're repulsive." Rick sneered, his lips curled in disgust. Looking over at her he asked, "How the hell do you live with yourself?"

Rolling her eyes at his words, she opened her mouth to reply when Negan stood up quickly. "Don't fucking talk to her like that Prick or Lucille will get real familiar with the inside of your fucking skull."

Rick lurched up as well, his body leaning towards Negan as they snarled at each other. Kayla stepped forward and put a hand on each of there chests, pressing them both away. "Calm down."

Both men sat down slowly, their faces stony as they eyed each other. Kayla stood nearby and tried to mediate. "We wanted to meet to discuss the growing issue with the skinwalkers, not fist fight."

"I believe Negan said it all, we're on our own to defend ourselves."

"As you should fucking be!" Negan shouted, his body leaning across the tabletop and jamming his gloved index finger into the laminate table top. "You fuckers took my  _gift_  and used it against me. Low fucking move man, not fucking cool. Not even close bud."

Rick growled, "We were only defending ourselves."

"Oh yeah, I don't think we were attacking you fuckface. You came to my goddamn doorstep. You killed people who haven't ever picked up a gun." Negan snapped, crossing his arms as he added, "We haven't killed any of yours in a long time dickhead."

"You still murdered my people. Good people." Rick rasped, his voice becoming incensed as the conversation became a downward spiral. Kayla growled inwardly, her eyes jumping back and forth between the two as they traded barbs and snarls.

"Sit the fuck down. Both of you." Kayla shouted, her fist slamming into the table with a loud rattle. Her chest was heaving as she glared at both idiots.

Negan grumbled lowly, the sound very much animalistic and barely controlled. Rick looked feral, his eyes drilling holes in the man in front of him as his fingers twitched over his gun holster.

"Say what you're gonna say Kay because I'm fuckin' done looking at this pussy ass bitch." Negan sneered, his mouth curling into a threatening grin. She watched his grip tighten on Lucille, the leather creaking with tension.

Rick shot to his feet again but stayed silent as Kayla pinned him with a glare. "SIT. Please."

Huffing out a breath the lean man sank to his seat again, perched on the edge just waiting for another opportunity to jump upright again.

"There's gotta be a way we can do this without all this bullshit." She started, her voice weary and eyes tired. Shaking her head at the images of blood shed and destruction. "We're ruining our second chances." She murmured to herself mostly, the sound still catching the two men's ears. They stared at her as she found the words.

"All any one of us wants is the ability to live again. It doesn't matter if it's a savior or Alexandrian or whatever the idiots at King Dumbshit's camp call themselves, we all want a fucking roof over our heads and food in our bellies. You're both intelligent assholes who could seriously turn this shit around. We could have something  _real_  here. A real fucking world again and all we're doin' is pissin' it away over some beans and band aids. We're killin each other when we should be workin' together to kill all those skin wearing dickholes." She ranted her voice rising to get her point across, panting as she became out of breath. Rick shifted in his seat, his eyes moving to the window as she continued.

"This tit for tat bullshit isn't cutting it. No one is winning but the dead fucks and those freaks. Soon there won't be shit to win because by the time y'all are done, everyone out there's gonna be dead.  _I'll_  be dead, Carl and Judith will be dead. No one is going to make it out of this alive."

Negan curled his lip aggressively, "this fucker here started this shit by blowing up my men."

"They were robbing my people." Rick retorted instantly, the wrinkles around his eyes deepening.

"Enough!" She shouted, her eyes glaring at both of them and her fists clenched. "E-nough. It doesn't fucking matter. Everyone needs to accept the fact that mistakes were made. Shit was done, people were killed.  _Nothing's_  changin' it. The only thing that can be done now is to drop that shit and move forward. If we keep going this way, it's the end of all of us and I don't know about you two fuckers but I'd didn't last this long to die because of some stupid fucking vendetta."

"What are you proposing?" Rick asked dryly, his arms crossed. Kayla could tell it was taking him everything to keep quiet and not attack Negan. The dark haired man, whom she loved was just as volatile, his deep-set eyes projecting nothing but fury at the man. They hated each other and what would amuse her if it wasn't such a fucked up situation, was that they were so damn alike. Both men were just keeping their people alive and would do anything to do it. Rick was motivated by a sense of responsibility and Negan's was mainly selfish and a general need to control things. It didn't matter why they were doing it because the results were the same. Risking everything to win.

"First we need to kill those bastards. We need to organize and work with Simon's plan, take them out and then we figure out everything else. We need to stop fighting each other. It's the only way we survive. It's the only way we can start living again. We need fair fucking trade," she responded, "boundaries and truces."

Snorting loudly Negan drawled, "these fuckers aren't going to forget I killed their people."

"No we won't." Rick growled, leaning towards her, "Glenn's son is never gonna know him. Abraham kept a group alive while traveling from Texas, he was valuable and family. Denise was our only doctor. Enid is mutilated."

"I'm not saying forgive or even forget. I'm saying get over it for the greater good. Do you think I like interacting with the guy who murdered my brother?" Kayla asked bluntly, her eyes fiery and unending, "you think I've  _forgiven_  you Rick?"

The man swallowed thickly, his eyes dropping to the table as he felt the weight of her stare. Negan chuckled, his lip curled up arrogantly, "Gotcha there doesn't she Prick?"

"Shut up." Kayla snapped, her eyes landing on his smug face, "Don't make light of this shit."

"Jesus Kay. Calm your tits." He muttered, his hands up in surrender and genuine look of guilt behind his façade.

"No. I'm making a point. We have all  _done_  shit that we can't take back. You can't bring Shane back no matter how much you regret doing it. And no matter how much I hate you for doing it, the better thing for me to do is move past it. None of this is gonna work if we keep killing each other. There's not gonna be a last man standing."

Negan snorted and drawled, "yeah it's gonna be last fucking woman standing."

Rolling her eyes she bragged, "damn fucking right but I'd prefer to not be the last one alive. It'd be boring as fuck."

Rick shook his head, as he asked, "So what are you asking?"

"Can we at least take a step back, call a cease fire and figure out how to work this out? Can we plan together the best actions to take out the assholes trying to kill us and stop trying to kill each other?"

The RV was silent as both men stared at each, their expressions stoic and guarded. Kayla bounced her eyes from one to the other as the tension grew to a fever pitch. She was close to breaking it with an scream of frustration when Rick finally spoke up.

"I'm willing to if he is." Rick rasped, his fingers drumming the armrest. Negan huffed out a breath, his lips curling into a grin. Shaking a finger in her direction, he muttered, "you're good. Fucking hell I knew I made the right choice about you."

"Are you willing Negan?" she asked, crossing her arms to try to contain her nerves.

"Fuck baby, I'm always willing with you." He teased, wetting his lip before biting it. Scoffing while still blushing, Kayla clarified, "are you willing to have a cease fire. To work on a plan to kill the skinwalkers?"

"Fine. What the fuck ever. Just know that if you show up on my doorstep again with guns pointed in my direction, Prick, I'll tear your balls off and hang them from my rearview mirror."

Plans were made to have an additional sit down including the leaders from Kingdom as well as Hilltop. Once an agreement was come to, plans would be made to take care of their common enemy. The group began to disperse when Rick approached Kayla, his bowed legs sauntering towards her. Preparing for whatever harsh words he had, Kayla leaned against the trucks fender casually.

"Need something Rick?" she asked, looking him over placidly. Standing close to her, Rick peered down at and drawled, "Carl told me what you said about not being able to help, I'm happy you changed your mind."

"I'm doing this for myself Rick. I'm tired of almost dying for stupid shit." She deadpanned, her arms crossed and hip cocked to the side. "I'd like my brother's kid to live past her baby teeth."

Rick swallowed thickly as his eyes simmered. Kayla had hit a few nerves, not only did she imply that he couldn't take care of the girl he considered a daughter but disregarded him as her father by referring to Shane. She couldn't help but smirk at his discomfort. As she said, she hadn't forgiven and she'd moved on but it didn't mean she wouldn't take the time to punish him some way. Rick seemed to reign in his anger before he spoke evenly, "We have something in common still I s'pose. All I want is for my kids to have a place to live, a place safe from the dead and the monsters."

His eyes flicked to Negan who sat in the RV cab with a scowl. "I wish you had better taste." Rick drawled, his gaze returning to her. Kayla snorted and joked, "You've gotta admit, he isn't the worst person I've ever dated. Remember the bass player?"

Rick stared at her for a moment before he laughed quietly, scrubbing his jaw while nodding. "Oh yeah, how could I forget  _Chaze_ , the guy who stole your car and stripped it for cash to buy his other girlfriend an engagement ring." He drawled with a snarking grin.

Kayla laughed with him for the first time since before the turn, "See. It  _could_  be worse."

* * *

Kayla sat on the couch in their bedroom, Negan standing behind the bar rummaging for alcohol. Looking him over she tried to figure out if he was still furious with her for speaking out in front of his men. She knew she had over stepped her boundaries but couldn't have stopped herself if she tried. There was no way she was allowing Judith to become some pawn in their shitshow. She owed that much to Shane. He would never let something occur to his little girl, no matter what Rick said about him changing. Shane was devoted to family. He loved Carl and would have laid down his life for his baby girl.

"You still pissed at me?" she asked, finally giving up trying to read the aloof man. Negan glanced over at her with a cocked eyebrow and replied, "Depends, you gonna apologize?"

Growling under her breath, she bit the bullet and muttered, "I'm sorry for speaking out of turn in front of your men."

"Good girl. Daddy likes when you fall in line." He responded, his smirk telling her he was try to stoke her temper, the man enjoyed pushing buttons. Negan loved their banter, even more when she became frustrated.

Glaring she snapped, "Fuck off."

Laughing loudly, Negan sat down next to her with a bottle of whiskey and two glasses. Leaning forward he poured them both a beverage and sat back, his arm resting on the sofa behind her. Negan's warmth had her leaning closer, pressing her thigh against his. He propped his long legs on the coffee table and sipped his drink before rasping, "I forgive you. I'm sorry for roughing you up."

Snorting she joked, "Pffft. I could've taken you if I wanted to."

Negan grinned widely, his head leaning back to view her better and replied, "Oh yeah? You wanna prove it?" His raised an eyebrow, the twitch of his lips made her growl lowly, "Anywhere, anytime."

Kayla shot back her drink, grimacing as the high proof alcohol scorched through her. Setting it aside, she smirked at Negan, waiting for him to make his move. Pouring another round, he tipped her glass up with one finger making her finish it quickly. Gulping it she felt the heat travel down her throat and into her chest, coughing slightly. Negan chugged his before pouncing, his hands gripping her hair and waist as he pinned her to the sofa. Kayla squeaked as he crouched over her, one knee on the sofa and his other leg stood on the floor. Holding her down firmly he growled, "Anytime, anywhere huh doll? How about right fucking here, right fucking now?"

Kayla grinned lazily, the alcohol making her head swim pleasantly. Wrapping her leg around his thigh to pull him closer, his weight pinned her down firmly. Negan moved his hand to hold her wrists above her head, his knee pressing against her core. Moaning as he rubbed against her jeans, Kayla turned her face to bite his forearm. He groaned at her tonguing his wrist and arm, his hips grinding into her thigh. "Damn dollface, I'm gonna fuck you into this couch."

Heat travelled from her groin to her stomach, her chest heaving as the man pinning her down, writhed atop her. His mouth sucked her neck and jaw before plunging his tongue into her aggressively. Teeth gripped her plump bottom lip, pulling it roughly as he snarled at her rising and rolling hips.

"Well fucking do it already dickhead." She taunted, yanking at his grip. "Or let go so I can get this show on the road."

"Nope. You're supposed to get free, remember darlin'?"

"Fuck it. I want laid instead." She replied with a smirk, her hooded eyes making him squirm. "I know you. Do. Too."

"I think I wanna see you struggle more." Negan murmured against her warm neck, his tongue tracing the line of her jaw and the cusp of her ear. "I think I wanna hear you beg baby girl."

Kayla moaned with a breathy gasp, Negan's free hand gripping her ass tightly as he rutted against her. "Beg Daddy." He grunted, his lip curled in amusement. Kayla rolled her eyes at his mocking tone and gave in, her desire to be filled to the brim with Negan overriding her pride. "I give up. You were right, now please take off my damn pants."

Negan barked out a laugh, his forehead pressing into hers as he slowly let go of her wrists. His hands moved down her body as he murmured, "Good girl sweetheart. Now you get a reward."

Kayla gasped as his hand sunk into her pants, his fingers nestling between them with familiarity. "Ne-gan." Her voice cracking as his thick fingertips curled into her tight walls.

"Mmm babydoll." He groaned into her ear, his lips nibbling on the lobe. "How the flying fuck can you be so damn wet all the damn time huh? You love my dick don't you?"

Kayla moaned as his fingers sunk deeper, his hand barely fitting inside her jeans were making his palm slid roughly against her.

"Fuck." She gasped before muttering under her breath, "I love more than your dick."

Negan's hand stopped slowly, the only sound being their heavy breathing. Kayla peered up in confusion, her brow furrowed while wondering why he stopped. The words scrolled back through her head making her neck flush until it coated her cheeks. Kayla's lips parted as though she were going to speak but no words came out.

"What else do you love?" he rasped, his voice softer than ever before. Swallowing through a dry lump in her throat, Kayla felt as if time was stretching out like elastic. It was the loudest silence she'd ever experienced as they stared at each other. Negan's dark eyes traced her face as his fingers stayed still inside her. "Kay?"

Chewing her lip she murmured, "Stuff."

Negan laughed once, his eyes glittered while kissing her softly and murmuring, "Tell me."

"You." she whispered, her fingers trailing up his chest to his neck and jaw. Her heart was thundering in her head and her lungs seized mid breath. Kayla peered up as he licked his lips, his voice hoarse, "Me?"

With a shuddered exhale, she finally confessed what she had know for months. "I love you."

Negan's fingers twitched inside her, his hand cupping her tightly as he leaned forward to kiss her. His mouth plunged deep into her as he thrust his fingers into roughly. Negan's eyes took in every gasp and eye flutter, his breath hard and heavy upon her face. "Cum baby. Cum for me Kay."

Her toes curled and limbs twitched as her climax rolled through her body. Tingling nerves felt exposed and raw as he kept massaging her deep and hard, the man determined to give her as much pleasure as possible. Kayla held onto him as he pulled another earth-shattering orgasm from her. She panted into his neck as he kissed and sucked any exposed skin. Pressing his forehead into her temple as she recovered, Negan's rough voice spoke ever so softly into her ear. "I love the fucking fuck out of you too doll."

Heat bloomed inside her chest, the flush from cumming only increasing as his deep and all encompassing eyes watched her. Kayla sliding her hands up his chest, her fingers curling into the hair at the base of his neck. She let everything else fall away, the war they were fighting, the arguments over Judith and the unknown future they had. It was just Negan and her, two people in a world without life and death consequences, a safe place for just them and no one else.

Trailing her fingertips along his scruffy jaw, Kayla murmured, "Can we stay in tonight, tell everyone else to fuck off?"

"Yeah." He rasped quietly, his hands smoothing up her thighs and over her hips. Negan seemed to be absorbing every inch of her through new eyes, the gaze he roved over her something close to famished. "I wouldn't let you leave if you wanted doll. If you weren't mine before, you are now."

"I was always yours." She whispered against his soft lips, plucking his bottom lip between her teeth. Groaning into her wet mouth, Negan thrust his tongue deep into her throat. He wanted to consume her it seemed, eat her alive.

"Baby, I have half a mind to pick you up and walk away from all this." He muttered into her neck. "Keep you all to myself."

Kayla turned her face into his neck, sucking and biting his shoulder. "I have half a mind to ask you too." She replied, her dark eyes looking over his contemplative expression.

"We can't do that." Negan spoke moments later as they writhed against each other, his hands yanking off his t-shirt to toss aside. "There's nowhere to go doll. We head off on our own and it's a death sentence. We got everything we need here."

"There may be a time when we have too." She muttered, her brow furrowing as he undressed her. Negan peered up as he pulled her jeans down to expose her plain black panties. He was silent a moment before asking, "You think Sanctuary is going to fall?"

"I think eventually we will be out numbered and out gunned." Kayla muttered, her hand cupping his neck gently as her thumb brushed across his strong jaw. "I think that we need to do everything we can to save this place and it'll take swallowing our pride and bending to some demands."

"I think that's fucking bullshit." He growled, tugging her panties down while spreading her legs wide roughly. "I think I should punish you for even saying such shit."

"I think you're mad and want to punish me because I'm right." She retorted, watching as he lowered his jeans before yanking her spread legs towards his groin. Negan sneered at her words, sinking into her with one aggressive thrust. Kayla's back arched off the sofa as he pumped into her as if punishing her for her claims.

"You. Are. Not. Right." Negan growled, his hips snapping into her with vicious speed and strength. "I'm the top of the food chain doll and no one and nothing is taking me the fuck down."

Kayla wrapped her legs around his waist, her heels digging into his as as he snapped and rolled his hips into her. A deep moaned escaped as her mouth dropped open, the plunges becoming so fast she could hardly keep up. "Oh god." She groaned, turning her face into Negan's neck as he curled over her body, his hands grabbed her ass tightly. Slamming into her aggressively, he panted into her ear. "I own everyone. This land is mine.  _You're_  mine!" he growled deeply, his hips hammering the points home.

Kayla held on as he fucked her into the sofa as promised, his sweaty body holding her down as he took everything he wanted from her. She couldn't help but moan and beg for more, her gasping breathes catching at every thrust.

"Negan." She whimpered as the quick pumps became too much, the swollen head of his cock pulling a mind ripping orgasm to shake her body violently. The final growl that tore through his throat was both animalistic and desperate, his hands squeezing bruises into her soft flesh. Nothing had ever felt as powerful, the heat from his body and the depth of his invasion had her trembling under his crushing weight. Slowly he pushed himself up on shaking arms, his muscles trembling from the power of his own release.

Leaning on his elbows, Negan stared down at her, their noses almost brushing together. "I protect what's mine Kay and all this may be mine but you are all that matters….. I'll do what needs to be done to keep what's mine."

"Even if that means backing down from being what the Saviors are now?"

Negan's eyes hardened, the desire to refuse any and all weakness. "I won't give up what I have but… I am willing to  _cooperate_." The word was said with such disdain, that Kayla wasn't sure if he could actually cooperate with anyone but it was more than he had ever conceded to before.

"Okay." She replied, wiping the sweat from his brow and temple gently.

"Okay?"

"Yeah." She spoke with a shrug, "It's more than I was expecting."

Snorting he kissed her softly, pulling back to see her hooded eyes. "Good thing you have low standards."

"Not low standards, I just know that changing your mind is pretty much impossible." She quipped, her smile soft and affectionate. "Besides, you now better than anyone what I can do when I set my mind to it."

"Yeah and that's why you'll be coming with me when we meet the other group leaders. They won't know what hit them."


	20. Chapter 20

"Come on." Kayla demanded, while tugging on Negan's hand. The man looked confused as she pulled him out of their apartment and towards the staircase. Negan had been stressed beyond belief with all the truce talks and plans to attack the Skinwalkers. No matter how much he insisted he was fine, Kayla could see the chips and cracks of his outwardly controlled demeanor. Soon everything could come tumbling down, their fences or just their way of life and they would need Negan to lead them. He wouldn't be able to do it if he kept going as he did.

"And where exact-fucking-ly are we going doll?" He grumbled as they reached the bottom floor and headed to the common room. Kayla ignored him as they walked, her path taking them into the small space used by the Saviors to unwind. There were a few card tables which allowed them to play poker among other games, a small bar, as well as a pool table and ping pong table. Negan smirked as she let go of his hand and removed her leather jacket. She was rolling her sleeves up when he asked, "are we doing, what I think were doing?"

"If you're thinking we're playing the pool game I promised you forever ago, then yes. No complaining when I make you my bitch."

Negan grinned at her, removing his own jacket and taking a pool cue off the wall. "Well dollface, I can't wait to see you try."

He watched as she chalked the end of her stick, strolling around the table. Gesturing to the table with her chin she offered, "you wanna break?"

"Ladies first darlin'." He rasped, his head cocking to the side as she bent over the table for the first shot. "Fuuuuuck, you're gonna distract the shit out of me aren't you sweetcheeks?"

Kayla smiled coyly at him, her hands maneuvering the cue just so, to sink another striped ball in a corner pocket. She'd rounded the table, her body stretching over the edge for her next shot. Negan slid up behind her, his hand gripping her hip tightly. "Your form is all wrong." He murmured into her ear, his voice low and rough. "Let me help you."

With a firm tug, her ass was nestled against his groin as he kicked her feet wider. She could feel the hard length of him and his muscular thighs aligned behind her. The sensation caused a slow burning heat to flare, making her squeeze her thighs together to soothe the ache.

Kayla gasped as he ground into her with the guise of teaching her how to play. His hips pressed her into the table edge as he instructed, "You've got to get a good grip of that  _stick_  darlin'. Not too  _hard_ , it needs to be able to  _slide_ right through those little fingers of yours." His mouth was close to her ear, his tongue barely touching the lobe before he nipped her. "Once you got a hold of that  _pole_ well then you gotta give those balls some love baby, because motherfucking balls need love too."

A gruff laugh escaped him, as he slapped her ass and stepped away. "Go on doll, take the shot."

With his advice she missed her next shot, the ball bouncing off the bumper and in the opposite direction as she panted shallowly. Her cheeks were flushed and she could feel sweat between her breasts.

"Oooh too bad babycakes." Negan simpered, his lip pouting out obnoxiously as he gave her puppy dog eyes.

"Cheater." Kayla muttered under her breath as he laughed at her angry huffing. The man took his own shot, the solid colored ball sinking in the side pocket before the cue ball bounced off the edge and lined up his next shot. The game went on, both players getting their own shots in until there were only a few balls left on the table. Kayla could see Negan's narrowed eyes, his mouth scowling at her skill level.

"I gotta say, I was doubt-fucking-ful you knew fuck all about pool but I stand corrected." He drawled as she sunk her last ball, her sights moving to the eight ball. Kayla laughed lightly, her eyes connecting with his as she took the shot blindly. The cue slid easily through her fingers, the chalked tip propelling the black ball into the pocket. The sound of it sinking, the clacking of it hitting the remaining balls in the little net had her smiling. Negan looked more than a little pissed off but also aroused. He swaggered around the table to her side, his hand plucking the cue from her hand before tossing it away. Swiftly she was lifted from the ground and deposited on the tabletop. Negan was climbing on top of her before she could think of refusing.

Their mouths met hungrily, Kayla swallowing down both their moans as Negan writhed against her. His large hands pinned her arms above her head as he rolled his hips between her legs hard and precise. Soon he was cupping her breasts and squeezing her ass, the man slipping into a lust filled haze.

"Mother of fuck." Negan gasped as her hands sunk into his hair and pulled hard, her teeth biting up the column of his neck.

"We shouldn't do this here." Kayal murmured while sucking on the hot flesh between his neck and shoulder. "Anyone could walk in."

"Just call me President of Don't-give-a-fuckastan because I don't give a flying monkey fucking fuck if the undead pope walks in and beats his bishop while watching me go balls deep." Negan growled, his hand gliding up her shirt and under bra before she could blink. Kayla's mouth dropped open as his tongue and teeth joined his hand, the hot suction of his mouth on her nipple making the woman moan deeply.

They were just getting to the point of yanking each other's clothes off when the sound of voices and footsteps approached. Negan grumbled over her, yanking her shirt down to cover her breast while glaring at the door.

"They better keep fuckin' walking because I'm banging you on this table like I've dreamed about. I'm gonna bash some fucking heads in." He growled, his hips snapping in between her thighs like a threat of what was to come. Kayla whimpered as his denim wrapped cock ground directly on her own throbbing ache.

"Yeah so I told him-." A voice halted as they entered the room to find Negan pinning Kayla on top of the pool table, his dark eyes drilling holes into the new arrivals.

"Holy shit." One man muttered, his eyes gawking at Kayla spread eagle while their leader crouched above like a predator above his kill. His sharp teeth were bared and eyes darkening by the second.

"Sorry sir." Another Savior spoke, his gaze dropping to the floor rather than face the wrath of Negan's jealousy.

"Can you not fucking tell this room is fucking occupied? I'm trying to sink some meatballs on this table you cocknosed twats." He growled as they continued to stand and stare dumbly.

"Get. Out." Negan snarled, pointing at the door as the men tripped over their feet to exit. Kayla burst into laughter as one fell over the other, both landing in a heap blocking the doorway.

"Get. Out. You Chucklefucks." Negan shouted even louder, "Jesus Christ its like the three fucking stooges up in this bitch. Go. Go. Go!"

When the door slammed shut, Kayla peered back up at Negan. He smirked at her despite the anger he'd just displayed, the man as amused at the idiots as she was.

"You think that's funny huh?" he sneered playfully, his eyes shining with mischief.

Snickering she nodded, her eyes widening as he dug his fingers into her sides, tickling her mercilessly. Squealing while laughing, Kayla tried to escape his assaulting fingers but couldn't squirm away. The only thing stopping him was her warnings about pissing her pants.

"Okay. Okay. Okay." He chuckled gruffly, rising to his knees as his hands went to her belt buckle. Kayla's eyes widened when he yanked them down her hips, to her knees as she sputtered, "W-what? W-ait."

Negan chuckled, shaking his head as he hovered over her, his large hand sunk between her thighs. "I wasn't kidding. I'm not stopping until I nail the fuck out of you to this fucking felt."

Words died in her throat as he thrummed against her, his fingers searching inside for a buried treasure. Negan stared down at her with dark eyes and parted lips, the heat from his panted breathes made her flush. His looked ravenous, his mouth slack as he watched Kayla writhe, his tongue wetting his lips hungrily.

"Oh God." She moaned, her neck arching as she threw her head back with hooded eyes. The trailing heat of Negan's wet tongue gliding between her cleavage and neck had her breath hitching.

"Oh. Baby." He crooned into her neck, "you feel how wet you are? Fucking fuck we are making a mess, doll. Everybody's gonna know how soppy you get for me." His voice was gravelly, his breath warming her skin as he panted. The weight of his hips and heady scent of his sweat had her dizzy, her head lolling to the side as his sucked her pulse with bruising force. Kayla moaned again in response, her voice leaving her as Negan's fingers curled and spread inside her.

"Fuck. Negan." She gasped, her hips rising from the table to meet his thrusts and beg for more. She wanted it fast and hard, deep and rough. Kayla couldn't help but plead, her teeth digging into her bottom lip as her thighs trembled. Curling her fingers into his forearm, she held on as he thrust, enjoying the feeling of his flexing muscles and tendons.

The nip of his teeth and filthy words of encouragement had her spilling over the edge, her body clutching at him desperately. Slamming her thighs shut, Kayla rolled her entire body while grinding into his palm. The man became wild, the snarling sound more rabid than ever before.

"Fucking A, good fucking girl. Goddamn I love when you cum." He growled, his lips sucking and biting her neck and chest. His hands drifted over ever inch in reach, his fingers stroking and tracing, never stopping for more than a few seconds.

"You are so beautiful." He murmured, sitting on his heels while looking down at her flushed face. Negan's hand smoothed her hair, tucking it behind her ear as she caught her breath. While Kayla panted, her eyes followed Negan as he climbed off the table. She squeaked when he pulled her from the flat surface and bent her over the over the edge. Negan's body pressed against her back and his wet mouth sucked her neck and ear. She heard the rattle of his belt buckle and the clatter of his knife, followed by the rasp of metal teeth as his zipper was pulled open.

"Mmm. Now I'm gonna fill you the fuck up." He growled before plunging into her from behind with one aggressive upstroke. The pressure of his fingers digging into her waist and shoulder while his hipbones pinned her into the sharp edge of the table had her groaning wantonly. Pushing in to the hilt, Negan moaned as he rolled his hips without retreating, stirring her clinging walls.

"Son of a fuck." He grunted as she clenched onto him tightly, her body refusing to let him withdraw. "Tight as shit baby. God I'm gonna unload in you too soon."

"Less talking. More fucking." She growled, reaching back to claw at his thigh while pushing back onto him. Negan sunk his hand into Kayla's hair, fisting it as his speed doubled.

"You. Are. In. Trouble, doll." He threatened while tugging her off the table and against his chest. Kayla moaned as he thrust into her brutally, his hoarse voice panting into her ear, "You feelin' me yet sweetheart? My dick touching your tonsils hmm? You tastin' me baby girl?"

The drag of his swollen head against her lips had Kayla keening like a sexual deviant. She wanted him to destroy her, fuck her until she split in two. Clutching the back of his head, she yanked his mouth to hers, both hungrily devoured the other with teeth and tongues.

"Oh god." She gasped as his ruthless hips pounded a second orgasm from her body. A choking scream escaped her mouth before Negan's hand covered her mouth, muffling the erotic sound under curled fingers. He bit her shoulder while shoving into her, a snarl vibrated against her back as he plunged as deep as he could go. She felt heat flood her insides, warmth spreading as Negan rocked lazily into her hips.

"Son of a fucking fuck." He huffed, collapsing them both onto the pool table. Kayla was gasping shallowly as Negan's weight pressed her into the hard surface. Pushing himself up on a shaky arm he snickered, raking his sweaty hair from his eyes "Sorry doll. Jesus I think I blacked the fuck out."

A breathless laugh came from her swollen lips as she slowly rose to right her clothing. "We need to get out of here before someone else wanders in."

"Fucking fuck 'em." Negan grunted, yanking her towards him with a roguish grin. "I'll enjoy my girl's pussy wherever and whenever I want."

Kayla's hands lay on top of his thudding chest, the cotton worn soft. He gazed down at her with calmer eyes and an easier smile. "You uh... you do this to get my mind off shit?"

"Yep. It work?"

"Hell yeah." He replied, wrapping his long arms around her waist and shoulders. Pinning her to his chest, Negan regarded her with soft eyes. "You're dangerous you know."

"Obviously but why do you say that?"

"Because you know me so goddamn well. It's danger-fucking-ous." He explained, kissing her softly on the lips before pulling back to whisper, "you could destroy me if you wanted."

"Good thing destroying you is the furthest thing from my mind."

"Oh yeah, what is on your mind?" he murmured, his nose brushing along her scarred jaw.

"You're dick and the king sized bed we have upstairs."

"Jesus woman give a guy some fucking recovery time. I'm no goddamn eighteen year old. My one eyed monster needs to rest sometime." Negan chortled, his eyes lively and lips pulling into a smug grin.

"Pffft." She murmured, a smirk curling her lips. "Don't lie, you're half hard already just thinking about it."

Growling into the curve of her neck, Negan threatened, "oh doll you are gonna get it."

"And you're gonna give it to me?"

"You bet your perky pink ass I am."

* * *

It was the day of the big meeting between communities. Kayla was more than a little nervous because she knew Negan. He wasn't going to bend easily to the other's demands. He wasn't going to let anyone have the upper hand and he definitely wasn't going to trust a single one of them.

However, she also knew he was aware of what this meeting meant and how it would affect their future. They needed the other communities in more ways than just supplies. They needed to display a united front and stop the Skinwalkers from being able to pick them off because of inner conflicts.

Kayla glanced at Negan who was sitting in the front seat, Lucille propped between his legs. She watched his fingers drum on the armrest, his mind far away scheming and planning.

The truck pulled into the large clearing, the sight of a couple vehicles already parked had Negan cursing under his breath. "I told those fucking fucks we needed to leave earlier. Eyes open, they could be ambushing our late asses."

Climbing from the car slowly, they watched as Maggie and Jesus flanked Rick and Ezekiel. "The fuck is Jesus doing here?" Negan muttered, his eyes flicking to Kayla's. Shrugging she replied, "Another mediator? No clue."

Negan sauntered over with an air of not a care in the world, as though he were strolling towards friends at a barbecue.

"How's it going ladies?" He drawled, a crooked grin curling his lips as his arms spread wide as if offering a group hug.

Kayla scanned them, taking in their tense but not aggressive stances. Ezekiel stood with his ridiculous royal staff and feathered dreads. She rolled her eyes as he dipped his head slightly and greeted them cordially, "A pleasure to see you miss Kayla….. Negan." His voice flattened when saying the Saviors leader's name, his eyes tightening. Negan chuckled, his frame rocking back as if wholeheartedly amused. "Man oh man sweetheart, you hear that, he thinks you're a miss. That's Mrs. Fucking Negan. Literally."

Rolling her eyes at his teasing words, she glanced at Rick and Maggie, both looking uptight and irritated. Negan beamed widely at them and rasped, "I forgot your name darlin'."

The shorthaired brunette scrunched her nose as if smelling something rotten and spoke coolly, "Maggie  _Rhee._ "

The last name was growled, a significant meaning expressed with the tone. Negan's eyebrow raised but he didn't comment, obviously sensing ire beyond the normal outrage.

"Well, it's a pleasure to see you again doll." He purred, his eyes scanning her head to toe. "You are looking…  _fine_."

Kayla shifted as Maggie's angry eyes slid to her, the disgust she felt for both of them, palpable. Looking away Kayla focused on Rick, "How's Jude?"

"She good. Walking now." He replied stiffly, the man obviously uncomfortable with speaking about his daughter in front of Negan. Nodding Kayla looked away, pretending to scan for trouble in the woods and not feel the suffocating sensation choking her. Everything seemed so difficult, Kayla was fed up with the tension. She zoned out while Negan taunted them, pushing buttons, as he loved to do.

Several people from both sides were guarding the group. Kayla watched them warily. She was just as distrusting as Negan when it came to the other groups ambushing them. It would be easily done and all she could hope for was their desire for peace, not conflict.

"Before we discuss any plans I want to arrange for my people back." Rick declared, his arms crossing as if showing how firmly he felt on the matter.

Negan laughed, his eyes blazing as he cocked his head to the side. "What a funny guy. The answer is… No. Once we're all finished crushing those nutless fucking pricks we'll discuss a trade. Until then, they're mine."

"How do we know they're even alive?" Maggie growled, her green eyes fierce. "You could be lying."

"They're alive." Kayla assured, looking over the group. "They're fed and have safe places to sleep."

"We want proof of life. You need to bring them and show us." Rick instructed, making Negan growl deeply. Kayla could see his edges showing, the sharpness he wanted to inflict of them.

"They aren't leaving my fucking walls." He sneered, rolling his shoulders as if warming his swinging arm up. The group buzzed as though all progress were about to unravel.

Jesus stepped forward, a hand raised as if to calm them. "How about you take someone back with you, someone to check on their condition."

"They'll just keep that person too." Maggie retorted, crossing her arms with a scowl.

Ezekiel spoke with forced composure, "They dare not break their oath, such an action would fair poorly for them. For we will not collaborate if our proxy is not returned unharmed."

Rolling his eyes so heavily they were liable to roll out of his skull, Negan jeered, "Enough of your goddamn bullshit Zekkie boy. I'm sick of you trying to sound fucking intelligent. And you," he snapped, pointing aggressively at Rick. "You don't fucking demand shit from me. I will take someone back to check on your precious shitheels but I pick the person."

The tension was thick but Rick slowly nodded. "Fine."

Negan grinned slowly before joking, "See, it's soooo much  _easier_  if you just fucking let me decide shit and do as I say."

Jesus cleared his throat and spoke up, "How about we discuss your plans to defeat these people. King Ezekiel has-."

Negan instantly growled at the term, stepping forward to assert his dominance yet again. He jabbed a gloved finger into Jesus's chest and sneered, "There's only one  _King_. I'm King Dick around here, bitch and you better not fuckity fucking forget that. This  _truce_  is my doing. We may be working together but I'm still in fucking charge. We talk and I make the final fucking call."

Rick looked at the others, a look of exasperation clouding his eyes. Maggie looked repulsed by his words, her nose wrinkled and chin raised. Kayla rolled her eyes as Negan grinned like a pig in shit, the arrogant cocksucker attitude overflowing.

"That is not how cooperation works  _friend_." Ezekiel informed dryly, his darkening eyes drilling into the leather clad antagonist.

"Yeah, we cooperate and then I fucking yea or fucking ney it and you twats listen." Negan jeered, leaning forward into Ezekiel's face, "Let's not forget who owns who, Zekkie."

"That isn't the way it will be from here on out, Negan." Rick drawled, his hands resting on his hips. "It won't be the way it was. You won't be squeezing us dry."

Negan bellowed out a gut-busting laugh, the humor not reaching his eyes. She could see the anger simmering behind his dark irises, the man longing to bash each and every one of their heads in.

" _Squeezing us dry_ , he says." Negan parroted, his head tilting sideways as he rocked back on his heels, his face overly animated. One hand held Lucille on his shoulder as the other waved lazily at them. "It's always been halfsies Rick. You know that."

"Look." Rick sighed, his head cocking to the left as his eyes burned. "We are willing to look forward, not backward if and only if you back off and never step foot near any of our communities  _unless_  you have something to trade. And by trade we mean of equal value. It's what all of us want and what will benefit everyone, even your...  _Saviors_ in the long run _."_  The name was thrown out like a curse word, Rick obviously seeing it as a misleading monicker. Negan sneered at the derogatory tone but didn't comment, instead he growled, "That will not be happening."

"It will." Maggie spoke with such fury in her eyes that Kayla's own widened.

"Oh yeah?" Negan murmured, licking his lip graphically. "And uh, you're gonna make this happen Peaches?"

The woman stepped forward, her hands in tight fists and chin tilted up. Rick placed a calming hand on her bicep, holding her back from approaching further.

Negan grinned the cocksure smile that could both frighten and infuriate. "You, _do not_  like me, do you dollface?"

"You murdered my husband, my son's father." She snarled, her green eyes watery but not over flowing. "You are a piece of shit and deserve to be strung up for it."

"Maggie." Rick cautioned, pulling her back from the group. Negan scowled at her before speaking, "We do what we gotta do darlin'. I need to keep order, without order shit goes sideways. I have a shit ton of people to take care of and if that means some heads roll, then so fucking be it. And let's not forget the thirty men you brutally murdered in their sleep Peaches, you think those men didn't have loved ones, wives and kids. I hate to break it to ya, Mrs Holier Than Fucking Thou, you are murderers too. You took earners away from their dependents. Not fucking cool at all."

Leaning forward, his eyes dipping to catch hers and spoke in a tone he usually reserved for Kayla. His humanity was peeking out, the gruffness softened. "That being said. I don't enjoy killing and… I am sorry for your loss."

" _Fuck you._ " She snarled, her cheeks now damp as she repeated. "Fuck you."

Nodding he stood up straight and smiled widely as if amused at her anger, Kayla could see the frustration in his eyes though. "Alright so how about we agree to disagree and once these fuckers are properly pegged we revisit this whole, you giving me my shit thing."

"No. We solve this now." Rick insisted, his blue eyes landing on Kayla for assistance.

Kayla shifted uncomfortably and wished everyone would just agree to something so she wouldn't have to listen to everyone talk. It was getting redundant and completely pointless. Nothing was being solved.

"What about the fair lady?" Ezekiel encouraged, his expression softened as he looked at her. "What say you?"

Rolling her eyes at his attempt to compliment. "What about me?" She deadpanned, her arms crossed defensively.

"Don't you want things to be different?" Rick questioned, his eyes desperate for her to agree with them. She wanted to refuse just on premise but she knew what needed to happen. The Saviors could never last as they were. Dictatorships rarely succeeded. There would always be a mutiny because no one wanted to be oppressed. The only way everyone survived was fair trade and cooperation. Negan's new world order would have to be rewritten.

"I think we should focus on surviving the next herd these bastards send our way and then we negotiate terms and borders afterwards."

Negan's eyes narrowed at her words, as he looked fit to be tied. He was expecting her full backing. She could see it in his eyes. Betrayal.

Rick and the others seemed pacified by the statement, their body language relaxing. Negan noticed also and seemed to decide to take advantage of the relief of tension. "Fine. We talk strategy and  _cooperate_. Everything else will be left for later."

The others nodded and plans were made to give them the run down of Simon's plan as well as all of the intel Negan had been collecting. His scouts had been watching and the ones that had survived brought back valuable information. They knew a lot of the group's methods and habits allowing the communities to properly plan an attack. Near the end of the meeting Negan stated, "we will follow you back and pick up your proof of life inspector."

"You can take me." Rick offered tightly, the man obviously worried at where Negan was going with the discussion. Kayla held her breath when Negan countered, "Eh-eh-eh. I choose Pricky. That's what we agreed too."

"Who are you taking?"

Negan grinned roguishly and teased, "well that's for me to know and for you to find fucking out."

* * *

Kayla looked over at the teen sitting next to her, Carl's tall lean frame now surpassing his dad's. She was not exactly surprised with Negan demanding Carl do the proof of life check but was surprised that Rick agreed so easily. The only reason she could think of was Rick's desire to show a little trust and test their word. It was more than obvious that Carl could take care of himself in the new world though. He was being raised to survive just about anything.

"So how's it hanging Carl? To the left?" Negan joked from the front seat, turning around to grin at the teen. "How's that pretty little lady friend of yours?"

Kayla tensed at the question knowing the sensitivity of the subject. Negan had lopped the girl's hand off after a supply shortage. She would've died if it weren't for Kayla's intervention but she was still mutilated by Negan.

"She'd be better with  _two_  hands." Carl scowled, his narrow shoulders held high and stiff.

Negan smiled slyly and teased, "well I gotta  _hand_  it to ya but you do have a point. Two hands are better than one but you know they don't call it a  _handy_  for nothing. Only one is needed and well… she does have one  _left_  or was it the right one? I can't fucking remember with all the limbs I've cut off."

Carl was vibrating with anger, she could see a murderous rage bubbling under the surface of his skin. Kayla glared at Negan, the man only snickering and turning around as if deciding the conversation as over.

As the silence weighed the car down with suffocating force, Kayla finally spoke, "Your dad said Jude's walking."

Carl paused a moment before nodding, his tense gaze flicking from Negan to her. Once he saw Negan was busy up front with Javier, Carl answered. "Yeah she's been gettin' into everything."

Kayla snorted, her dark brown eyes twinkling. "She gonna be trouble if she's anything like you. You needed a leash."

Carl smirked and muttered, "she's been nicknamed Little Ass Kicker since birth so we expected it."

Chuckling Kayla asked, "You nickname her that?"

"No I picked Judith but Daryl nicknamed her." He replied, his whole body tensing at the release of information. The name caught Negan's attention instantly, showing Kayla he wasn't so distracted after all. "Speaking of… have you seen that mute bastard lately Eagle Eye?"

Carl grimaced at the taunt and muttered, "No."

"Now  _son_. Don't lie to Uncle Negan." He drawled, his eyes hard and frown mocking. "Nobody likes  _liars._ _"_ The last word was hissed between clenched teeth, his lips curled into something sinister.

"I haven't seen him." Carl snapped sharply, his fists clenched. "He's probably dead thanks to you."

Negan chuckled his mirth filled eyes looking the teen over. "Damn kid. Fuckin' relax. Why the shit are you so high strung? You get your dick wet yet? Because I mean when I haven't sunk the anaconda into something hot and wet, I get a little uh… cranky too."

Carl's face was beet red as he glared at the window rather than the taunting man in front of him. Kayla however glared openly at Negan, her teeth clenched. "That's about enough."

Grinning devilishly, his handsome face had her squeezing her thighs together and wringing her fingers. She had the strongest urge to pin him down and fuck him raw, an ache to punish him for being such a giant asshat.

"Alright, alright." He conceded, raising his gloved hand in surrender. "As you wish."

* * *

Carl stood next to Kayla in the hallway containing the cells. She watched him stiffen as the door screeched opened, his eye narrowing to see within the dark room. Inside they saw the two women being held, both sitting on the floor with a blanket. There were a few water bottles and the remains of lunch. They weren't bound but did not rise when the door opened. Two Saviors held guns on them, fingers on the triggers.

"Carl!" One gasped, her eyes wide while the other woman growled deeply, "You fuckers. Leave him alone."

"Jesus fucking Christ, Red. You always think the goddamn worst of little ol' me." Negan sneered, his hand over his heart as he rocked backwards. "I mean I don't mean to be a huge weeping dick about it or anything but that  _hurts_  my fucking feelings."

"What's he doing here then?!" Red snapped, rising to her feet only to be threatened with a large rifle. Carl stepped forward and explained, "I'm here checking that you're alive…. we're.. workin' things out and you gotta stay here until we get rid of the skin walkers."

"What the hell? We're working with these fuckers?" Red growled making Negan sneer while thrusting Lucille in her face. "Adjust your fucking tone fire crotch. Enough of your cunty mouth unless your on your knees sucking pipe."

Carl explained stiffly, "we are doin' what we've got to do. Let me see the others."

The door was slammed shut and locked before they continued on to see the other two inmates.

* * *

"So kid, you're gonna stay the night. I'm too fucking tired to cart your skinny ass back, so settle in for some fucking fan-fucking-tastic fun. I'm talking booze, broads and balls. As in ping motherfucking pong, bitch."

Carl stared at him in irritation, "I'll walk home."

"Oh hell no! You think your dad would appreciate me letting the apple of his fuckity eye wander off yonder. Pfft. You could fuck me sideways with a chainsaw before I'd let that motherfucker hold that shit over my head too. He's like some Olympic level grudge holding prick from the planet Stinkeye."

Kayla snorted at his rant, the man waving a glass of bourbon around. Pointing a gloved finger at Carl he asked, "Now. Enough about that twatwaffle. Have you ever had whiskey?"

Kayla sighed, flopping onto the sofa as she realized they were in for a long night of Negan being ill-behaved. He was in the mood to poke and prod, he wanted to bust someone's balls and he loved Carl's reactions just as much as Rick's.

"Kayla, my sweetheart, the fire of my fucking loins. What would you like?" He joked while pouring himself another inch of liquor while popping the top off a beer. Shoving it into Carl's hand he snapped, "take it, don't be a prick jr."

With a few grumbles, Carl sat down holding the bottle but without sipping it. Kayla rolled her eyes at both their antics and replied, "Jack and coke, hold the coke."

"Oh she's loosenin' up kid." Negan spoke with a chuckle, his amused eyes looking her over. "You uh.. need me to help you with some stress dollface?"

"Just the booze please." She grumbled, reaching out for the drink.

Negan wagged his head and hovered over her, tipping her chin up with his index finger. Moving in slow he smirked at her and rasped, "don't be so uptight doll." Kissing her softly, Negan pulled back and slid the cool glass into her hand. "There you go babydoll drink up. We're gonna have fun tonight."

* * *

The rec room was filled with Saviors and the handful of loose women who "worked" in the factory. The oldest profession in the world was still going strong, apocalypse be damned. She watched as Negan played a Savior, who went by the nickname Driver, in a fierce game of ping-pong. Both men cursed at each other. "You dirty cunt." Negan snapped as his paddle missed the bouncing white ball.

"I swear to fuck, you greased my balls didn't you, you fucking fucker." Negan snarled, threatening him with the paddle. "I gonna shove this paddle up your balloon knot sideways if you did."

Driver chuckled and shrugged his skinny shoulder, "C'mon boss. You know the only balls I grease are my own."

Negan bellowed loudly, slapping his stomach before smacking the paddle into the white ball, surprising the man and winning the game. He crowed afterwards, rubbing it in his man's face as if he didn't cheat by distraction.

Kayla sat with Carl sipping a beer, the teen having finally given in was drinking his own. She kept a close eye on him as well as their surroundings. Kayla wouldn't put it passed anyone of the dumbfucks to start trouble with the outsider. Especially with him widely known as Rick's son and the kid who killed a lot of their men.

"Alright kid. You and me, dick measuring contest. Two paddles, one ball and a whole lot of shit talk." Negan announced, waving Carl over.

Kayla followed, standing to the side as the teen accepted the paddle from Driver. He fumbled with it for a moment, looking anxious about playing. Negan let him serve, the men smacking the plastic ball back and forth, Carl struggling against Negan's overly aggressive playing. She wanted to smack him for being such a dick. Carl huffed an irritated breath as he missed another swipe. "I can't fucking play this."

"What, come on kid. You're doing great. I mean you fucking suck donkey balls but you're tryin' right?"

"I have one eye dumbass. I can't see fucking shit and my hand eye is screwed." Carl snapped, chucking the paddle towards Negan. The room went deadly silent, the only sound being the ping-pong ball bouncing away under the table.

"Fuck." Kayla hissed stepping forward as Negan sneered down at the young man.

Barking out a sharp laugh, the sound cutting through the air like razorblades through silk. Negan sauntered around the table and peered down at him. "So what you're saying is, you're a giant fucking pussy who can't man up and play a fucking game. Buck the fuck up  _cherry_. No piece of ass is going to be interested in such a limp dick motherfucker who can't take a joke. I thought you were badass serial killer, man." Negan growled, throwing the paddle across the table, "Fuck, this whole goddamn cock knocking shit. Nights over. Everyone fuck the fuck off." The crowds broke up, Saviors scurrying out of the room before Lucille made an appearance.

The end of his tirade was shouted until he grew hoarse, his eyes blazing down at Carl. "See what you did. Ruining the whole fuckity night because your panties are in a wad. Poor one eyed me, I can't see. WAhhhhhh."

"You're the one freaking out." Carl growled, his mouth twisted into a sneer.

Negan fisted Carl's jacket and spoke low and threatening. "You're lucky I like you, you little spitfuck. I swear to Christ I wish I could bust your melon open. Stir that shit up with Lucille's business end."

Shoving him away Negan ordered, "Take him to a cell. He's going to be a little prick. I can already tell."

"Negan."

"Any words beside 'Yes, Sir.' And I'll lock him in a fucking car trunk until tomorrow."

Gritting her teeth Kayla grabbed Carl's bicep and dragged him from the room. She was cursing under her breath the whole time, grinding her teeth angrily. "Why can't you just fucking play along? Jesus."

"I'm not playing along with that damn murderer Kayla. I don't agree with any of this shit." Carl sneered, twisting his arm from her grasp. Kayla sighed and walked him downstairs to an empty cell. Grabbing a key from the guard assigned to the inmates she opened a room. Inside was furnished better than the other holding cells. A small cot and camp lantern were waiting for him.

"I'll come get you in the morning." She said as he sat down on the cot. "Just get some sleep."

"Whatever." He grunted, lying back with his arm draped over his eyes.

"Look Carl, we're all doing what we've got to do to live in this fucked world. We've all made mistakes and we've all done things we can't take back. Negan is no different and I understand it. He took people from you, believe me I am keenly aware of how it feels to look at the person who took someone you love away. I know you all like to think it's different, but to me, your dad murdered my brother. And as much as it hurts, I'm setting it aside for the greater good. We're all going to have to do it."

Carl refused to look at her, his eyes were drilling into the ceiling above his cot. Kayla stared at him for a long moment before shutting the door and locking it up tight. Handing it back to the guard she ordered, "he is not to be harmed, got me? Per Negan."

"Got it Kay. No worries."

* * *

She found Negan on the rooftop, a cigarette perched between his lips as he leaned back in an armchair. The bottle of bourbon sat at his feet and an empty glass rest nearby. "You lock that fucker up?"

"Yes sir." She mimicked, her taunting making Negan roll his eyes. Joining him, Kayla climbed into his lap and straddled his thighs. Plucking the smoke from his lips, she inhaled a drag while watching him peer up at her. His large warm hands splayed out on her thighs, the slowly moving digits pressing into the thick muscles. She groaned as he massaged her legs and hips, his fingers curling into her ass cheeks. Flicking the cigarette away she moaned as he pressed his face into her chest.

"Negan." Kayla gasped, her body bowed to tuck her face into his neck. She kissed the warm skin peppered with whiskers, her teeth nipping the tender flesh sharply. A warning growl vibrated through her, the deep rumble of Negan's barrel chest telling her to be careful. Kissing and licking the spot in apology, she reminded him, "You wanted to relieve my stress remember?"

"Yeah, I remember doll." He rasped, his hips thrust off the seat and into her groin. "Fuck I remember and I still wanna."

"Yeah?" Kayla whispered, her dark eyes peered down at him as she rocked in his lap. She could feel every inch of him pulsing to get inside her.

"Fucking fuck yeah baby girl." Negan choked on the words, the man groaning as she circled her hips in hypnotic ways. "Oh Daddy likes that. Come on take those pants off."

Kayla smirked, her fingers diving into his thick hair, curling it in between her fingers while rolling aggressively in his lap. She was chasing a growing sensation, a heat steadily increasing as she rubbed against him. Negan was panting into her ear, his hands rubbing and squeezing every part of her body, his filthy mouth muttering foul words and pleads for skin on skin. His hands slammed onto her hips, pinning her tightly against him as he ordered, "Stand up and take those fucking pants off, now."

Shakily, she climbed to her feet, kicking off her boots and pulling off her clothing without hesitation.

Negan growled at the sight, his hand stroking himself as she dropped her panties onto the rooftop. She stood in front of him completely bare, every scar and bruise on display and despite being self conscious, the way he consumed the view made her feel gorgeous.

He was ravenous, his eyes dark and wanting. No one had ever looked at her like that before Negan. Only he could send such immense heat through every nerve ending in her body. Licking his lips at the sight, Negan grinned devilishly and urged, "Come sit on Daddy's lap sweetheart. I've got a huge present for you."


	21. Chapter 21

Negan glared at Ezekiel and his right hand man with a look of contempt for close to an hour. They were planning for war and everything the other communities suggested as possible strategies were shot down by a disgruntled tall, dark and handsome big mouth. Kayla couldn't help but roll her eyes as he continued his goading.

"Listen Zekkie, you can shove your lilting tongue up my asshole all you like, I'm not letting a bunch of horse humpers make decisions that might get me and mine killed. You can play medieval times on your own fucking dime. Right now we need the big boys to suss this shit out, not sword wielding, scepter holding, cock gobblers."

Kayla glanced at Ezekiel who looked as if someone had pissed in his stale cheerios that morning, his eyes narrowed and mouth downturned. Negan grinned in return, his teeth blinding and eyes twinkling. If there was one thing he loved, it was pushing buttons and busting balls, literally and figuratively.

"There is no need for such vulgarity." The man with gray dreads replied, his tone haughty and tight.

"That's where you're wrong Princess Pickle Puller, vulgarity is awesome and I happen to be fucking boss at it." Negan bragged, leaning against the small dividing wall in the RV, which now doubled as a meeting hall.

"We're here to coo-."

"If you say cooperate one more time I'm jamming my fist up your urethra and out your ass. I will ream you like an apple corer."

Kayla shook her head slowly, admonishing his behavior, the man only smirking wider. She couldn't stop the twitch of her lips however, her eyes leaving him as he tried to break her disapproving façade.

Rick sighed deeply, his hand roughly scrubbing his eyes before he cut into the tension. "Look Ezekiel, Negan does have a point if you ignore all his bullshit. We need to do this in stages. We can't charge in."

Negan gloated silently, his eyebrow raised and head tilted back with superiority. Kayla elbowed him in the ribs and whispered, "Tone it down jackass."

Negan ducked his head to reply back into her ear, "Did you just say you want a bone up your ass? Because I am fucking Downtown Julie Brown if you are."

Swallowing a bark of laughter, she forced herself to ignore the class clown and continue to listen to Rick as he spoke with Simon. The mustachioed man was the one with the most knowledge of the compound having spent multiple weeks watching and fighting them.

"They got outbuildings, little trailers and shacks all around. The center building is their home base. I have their numbers at between fifty up to seventy but it's hard to tell. The whole place is crawling with the dead. The yard and even in their actual living quarters. At least the bottom level. They never take the skins off to my knowledge."

He traced a few areas on the hand drawn map. "These areas are fenced in, looks like crops and composting. Back here they have a different kind of trailer, they look like holding cells maybe. The windows got bars and we only saw one of them go in there. A big fucking dude."

Rick and Jesus peered down as the man spoke; Maggie listened while jotting down notes for herself. The entire meeting was such an odd collection of individuals that Kayla often found herself people watching more than listening. It was interesting to read their dynamics and to throw in the fact that Negan stood next to her, the man who had extorted from them by brute force and extreme acts of violence. The whole experience was jilting in a way.

It was also strange to spend so much time with Rick, the man having been a fixture in her life for so many years only to be ripped away by the worst plague in history. She couldn't honestly deny that it was enjoyable to be around him again but it was also painful. Looking at him, hearing him talk, it often had her stuck in memories of her brother. The trio had spent most of their time together, Kayla always tagging along. Shane was not like most older siblings when it came to wanting to shrug off the younger brother or sister. He never forced Kayla to stay behind, not once. If she didn't want to go was one thing but he never excluded her and Rick had never made her feel unwelcome. He truly had been an older brother to her.

Swallowing through a large knot quickly forming in her throat, she forced herself to blink away the chest cinching pain and tuned into the conversation.

"So we do this in layers. We got groups pulling their defenses away. We cut through fences and get the dead to wander off." Rick drawled, his eyes scanning the group for agreement. Stopping at Negan and Kayla, there was a pregnant pause while Negan pretended to think about it.

Kayla groaned inwardly at the man's constant desire to strain everyone's patience. "I think that sounds great." Kayla jumped in, pushing the conversation on while avoiding Negan's pouting. "So cars I'm assuming?"

"Yeah." Rick replied, "Loud music, horns."

"What happens when they see what we're doin'?" Maggie inquired, her green eyes rising to Rick's and Jesus's. "They ain't gonna like it."

"Fucking fuck them." Negan sneered, crossing his arms and cocking his head back. "I don't give fuck all what they like and neither should you peach."

"Obviously." Maggie snapped, her teeth clenched, "I'm asking what course of action we'll take."

"Damn dollface, calm your tits. It was just a little teasy weasy. No reason to get all puckered about it."

"I can't take this shit." She muttered, climbing to her feet and speaking to Rick. "Keep me up to date on actual plans." The woman exited the Rv without looking back, her feet loud and angry. Negan smirked at her back, the man savoring the ire like a well aged bourbon.

"Okie Dokie." Negan spoke jovially, clapping his hands as though Maggie had been holding up their progress. "Where were we? Oh yeah, cars with music pulling undead fucks away, yada yada yada. Cue the skinbags getting all riled up. They don't have many guns. They obviously use the biters as weapons."

Rick stared at him a moment, surprised that he went right to business. "Yeah."

"And they probably don't use guns because of all the meat sacks they tote around. It doesn't matter how much dead fuck blood you wear, you shoot off a few rounds of lead and those cannibal bastards will be eating your coin purse like your grandmother's candied yams. Which means we can't fire a round without bringing the whole horde back to us."

The room was silent as they realized the dilemma. They could pull the undead away but if they instantly began shooting down the skinwalkers, their undead defenses would turn around and come back.

"Silencers." Kayla suggested, "If we do a combination of camouflage, silencers and hand to hand, we might get us enough time to kill them and escape the inevitable return of corpses. We won't be able to stop at least the back half from returning so we'll have to be fast."

"Why camouflage also?" Ezekiel asked.

"When they come back it'll give us enough coverage. It'll also hide us amongst their ranks. I can't imagine they have all their friends creepy skin suits memorized."

"You're suggesting we wear skin like them?" Jesus asked, his throat bobbing with nausea. Kayla shrugged, "I don't know maybe?"

"The danger is not recognizing each other either." Rick commented, scratching his chin.

"Could wear something to let each other know. A mark or somethin' small that they won't notice." Daryl suggested, chewing on the corner of his thumb.

"See I knew you weren't as dumb as you look." Negan quipped, his grin sly and taunting. Daryl ground his teeth, his fist clenching with the strain of controlling his irritation with the man.

"We'll figure somethin' out." Rick drawled, avoiding any detour in the conversation. "So we do hand to hand. Hilltop and Kingdom both have blacksmiths right?" Rick asked, waiting for them both to nod in affirmation, "Do you have more of your spears or weapons that will work in close combat? We can use knives and machetes but it might be useful to have something specific for this."

"I will check in with our weapons man." Jesus replied, drumming his fingers on the table top. "Do we have numbers yet? How many fighters are we looking at?"

* * *

The discussion continued, numbers of soldiers and the break down of how many people in each group and phase would be required. Arguments about merging teams or separating fighters had voices raised and angry. The trust was tenuous at best and nonexistent at worst. It would take one wrong move or a slight misunderstanding to bring it all down and most of the time Kayla was just bracing herself for the other shoe to drop. Things were moving slow but surprisingly easy with everything considered, she couldn't stop from expecting it to go all to shit.

* * *

They were going to war the following morning. A week had gone by from their last meeting and the time had come to bring death and destruction to their collective enemy. Kayla lay next to Negan as he read over the inventories lists from the pantry. From the grim look in his eyes, she could only assume their situation was dire. Without the supplies from the other communities, Sanctuary was floundering. They did have a good stockpile but with attention being mainly applied to the threatening forces, food and amenities had been placed on the back burner.

"We are fucking fucked." Negan huffed, tossing the papers away in disgust. "Our gardens aren't producing enough, we're gonna be tits up in two weeks if we don't find a major fucking haul. If those dead fucks have shit, it's ours."

"I doubt that's gonna fly." She remarked, chewing on her lip in thought. "It'll be split up amongst them, their gonna say it's back tax refunds."

Negan growled, standing up to grab himself a stiff drink. She watched his jerky, angry movements and listened as glasses and bottles were picked up and slammed down with crushing force. He gulped a mouthful of amber liquid and then growled, "Bull fucking shit. They're not cutting me out, it's going to be my goddamn crew that makes the difference. All those pussy fucks who can't fight worth shit don't deserve a goddamn thing. It's our sacks on the lines. The Alexandrian sheeple, maybe four good fighters out all those frumpy fucks."

Pacing he gulped his drink, waving the glass at her and continuing his rant, "don't even get me started on Hilltop. Those farmer fucks, shouldn't call it Hilltop with all those fucking power bottoms there. And holy shit snacks how have I not mentioned King-Shit-dom. I mean, plastic fucking armor, really?  _Really?_  Are they going to joust with those motherfuckers. Christ I feel like I'm in a badly written college production."

Kayla scrubbed her face and muttered, "I get it Negan but seriously, we need to cut our losses."

"And how are we gonna feed ourselves in two weeks doll? You uh.. got some secret fucking grocery store in your back pocket?" He sneered, cocking an eyebrow high and haughty, "you find the twenty four hour Piggly Wiggly?"

"No but-."

"No buts… except yours. We're workin', so we get fucking paid. If they got shit we get half." Negan growled, sitting down next to her. Leaning against the headboard, Negan sipped his drink and then sighed deeply. "Shit is gonna come falling down soon doll."

"I know." Kayla replied, rolling onto her side to wrap an arm around his middle. Kissing his chest she murmured, "It's going to get pretty shitty but we'll make it."

"People are gonna starve to fucking death. That's something I fucking swore would never happen here."

"Maybe, maybe not. Once this shit is done we start getting some scavenging done and we figure out our farming techniques. Maybe one of the other communities can loan us a farmer or something. There's gotta be ways to boost our productivity."

"I'm not asking for fucking help from those douche nozzles." He grunted, setting his empty glass aside. "All I need is them looking down their crooked noses at me like I'm shit on their shoe when the only reason any of those fucks are alive is because of me. How many times did we save their asses from those herds? Fuck if we hadn't been making them be productive they'd probably be dead already. Lazy fucks"

Kayla sighed, her fingers tracing an imaginary pattern on his chest in thought. "We can look up local farming communities, maybe garden stores. Find more crop materials and most likely books and shit about farming. There is a ton of space out back to make more plots. Maybe we can try hydroponics also, indoors or on the roof. There's gotta be some potheads who used to grow in their damn closets or something. Hook up a gray water system for crop irrigation, the shower water is just wasted when it could be reused."

Negan's hands stroked up and down her back and arm, his eyes gazing off considering her ideas. Chewing his lip, he finally rasped, "I think there was a few of those home improvement stores with garden sections off Route 1."

"Be a good place to check." She replied, hoping he would calm down for the evening. Everything was stressful enough, lying in bed thinking of every doom and gloom outcome would drive them insane.

Deciding it was time to change the mood and break the tension, Kayla slide on top of him, her thighs framing his hips.

"Well hello there beautiful." He rasped low and rough, his lips curling up crookedly and his hands gripping her thighs. "You uh… come here often?"

"Oh I cum here often and hard." She flirted, her head dipping to suck a hot path along his neck. Kayla's hands rested on his broad chest, the muscle flexing under her splayed palms. She moaned into his shoulder as his hands gripped her ass tightly, rolling his hips into her. With curled fingers, Negan squeezed her hips and thighs as they kissed deeply. Grinding into him, Kayla panted as things became frantic, the air around them humid with panted breaths. Tugging off her t-shirt, his greedy hands yanked off her bra and his mouth firmly attached to her heaving chest.

"God I love these titties." He moaned into her sticky skin, his lips brushing back and forth across her nipple, teasing the flesh hard. "I'm like a fuckin' fat kid at the sundae bar. I wanna suck on your maraschino cherries all night long baby."

Kayla clutched his shirt while shoving her chest further into his face, begging for him to do just that. "Fuck. Negan. More."

"You sound kinda wound up," He mumbled while licking her cleavage. Growling she pushed his shirt up and whined, "Come on, take it off."

"You anxious sweetheart?" he purred, his hands smoothing over her skin, his fingers dipping and tracing circles around her breast and belly button.

"I wanna fuck you." she murmured, looking at him from under her lashes while biting her lip. The man's switch flipped instantly at her words and tone, her hooded eyes pushing him off the edge.

Rolling them over, Negan sat back on his knees, tearing off his clothing while raking his eyes over her nude form. "You are so damn sexy." He rasped, his voice hoarse with need. "These fuckin' legs doll, I wanna wrap them around my neck."

"I won't stop you." she replied coyly, watching him prowl over top of her. His hands slid up her legs, spreading her knees flat on the bed. His chest was heaving at the sight, his mouth going slack and eyes heavy. "Fuck." He gasped, the darkened gaze slowly rising to meet her own wanting eyes. "You have no fucking idea how much I love looking at you like this. Wet and pink, holy fucking shit my dick could punch through cinderblock."

Kayla smirked, her hand sliding down her own body, palms squeezing her flushed chest and hips squirming for attention. "Are you going to just sight see or would you like the full tour?"

"Fuck yeah," He grunted at her undulating body while his fingertips barely dipped into her core, teasing her. "Can I have the VIP behind the scenes tour?"

* * *

Standing near the large flat table strewn with blunt instruments and blades, Kayla watched as Saviors were given their choice of weapons. Most were opting for their favorites but others took some of the spears and short swords Hilltop and Kingdom had provided.

A hand tapped her elbow and she found Michael nodding a silent greeting.

"Hey." She replied looking him over for a weapon. "You getting something new?"

"Nah." He grunted, crossing his arms as he watched two idiots argue over a weapon. Kayla glanced back at him after seeing the fight broken up by an irate Simon.

"You been okay?" She asked, cocking an eyebrow when he shrugged. Michael huffed out a breath and rotated his neck, popping out tension. "M'fine."

"Don't look or sound fine." Kayla replied, taking in his shadowed eyes and filthy clothes. "You working nights?"

"Better that way." He rasped, looking down at her a moment. She could feel his eyes soaking her in, a longing in his gaze that she knew he was struggling to suppress. Forcing herself to ignore the faint tug in her chest, the desire to take his turmoil away only to be unable too. The only solution was one she could never give him.

"Why?" She whispered, her brow furrowed.

"Because you don't anymore." Michael replied, pulling his gaze away allowing her to breath. Kayla bowed her head slightly, the heaviness she felt on her chest returning. She ached with guilt. The man had feelings for her and intellectually she knew it wasn't her fault that she didn't feel the same but it didn't change the situation. He wanted her in ways she could never give him, their friendship was now a delicate balancing game. She had to make sure she never over stepped or gave him the wrong impress, it was straining what little time they had together.

"Don't apologize." He commented, the man knowing her far too well. "It isn't your fault and it's not your problem."

"That doesn't make it any less troubling." Kayla replied softly, chewing her lip anxiously. They stood in silence for a long moment until he spoke again, changing the subject. "I'm on the west side today, so you're gonna have to watch your own ass." He rasped, his lip twitching as she scowled at his teasing.

"You seem to have forgotten all the times I saved yours." She huffed, crossing her arms as if angry. Michael smirked, bumping his shoulder into hers.

"How could I forget, all you do is bring it up."

"Fuck off." She exclaimed with a chuckle. "Smartass."

"Yeah well, better than a dumbass."

Kayla snorted, her eyes narrowed as she glared at him. "You better be safe out there. I'll be really pissed off."

Michael rolled his eyes, his grin flashing for a moment before he doused it. "Well we don't want that, you're a real asshole when you're pissy."

Rolling her eyes, she muttered, "shuddup."

Bumping her shoulder again he spoke softly, "You stay safe Kay…. Keep close to him."

"I will." Kayla nodded, watching as he swallowed passed the irritation at the advice. He wanted to protect her, not Negan.

"Promise if things start falling apart you get outta there." He added, his dark eyes looking at her with something close to desperation. "You run."

Staring at him silently, Kayla finally nodded. "Alright."

"I'll find you." He murmured, his gaze flicking to the door as Negan strolled out.

Kayla knew it was going to upset Negan but she couldn't stop herself from stepping forward and hugging the man who'd become a close friend. They may not be what he wanted them to be but he was still closer to her than most. Only Negan knew her as well.

His arm wrapped around her shoulder and he whispered, "Remember what I said Kay… you run."

With those final words he pulled back, looking her over for a moment before leaving the common room. She watched his broad back fade away, her heart thudding hard and fast. A heavy feeling of dread seemed to weigh her down, her chest feeling compressed and tight. She felt eyes on her and tilted her head up to see Negan watching her closely. A weary smile curled her lips, as though trying to convince him, she was alright. After a moment, Negan was called to the side to speak to Simon and Javier, his attention pulled from her thin façade much to her relief. She wasn't sure she wanted to explain her emotional upheaval, especially as they were about to head off to battle.

* * *

The plan was formed, everyone was on board and willing to go the lengths it took to take down the group who had been picking them off for close to a year. The strategy was one off multiple attacks as well as defensive actions to draw protective herd away. As teams assaulted the compound other groups would drive vehicles, leading the undead away from their shepherds.

Kayla was crouched next to Negan, their eyes scanning the large area while Rick and Jesus knelt nearby. Everyone's eyes were on the first crew's approach, the men and women luring the group's security defenses away.

"Everybody knows their part, stay tight. Watch each other's backs. No matter where you're from, we gotta stick together. We  _can_  do this. We  _will_  do this. And when it's all done, we'll work together, not apart." Rick spoke over the radio, his voice strong and words convincing.

"Holy balls that's down right goddamn presi-fucking-dential Prick. My dick is hard right now, like zipper busting, steel cutting, ass pounding  _hard."_ Negan sneered, his eyes shining with excitement. "If I wasn't such a pussy slave I might even switch hit with you."

Kayla snorted, shoving her elbow deep in his ribs before muttering, "Shuddup. I'm not saving your ass when you're too busy jacking off to pay attention."

"Oh come on doll. You fucking love watching me jack off." He purred into her ear, nipping her lobe playfully. "Later I'm gonna slap that ass pink for your back talk. Gonna get it, sweet- _cheeks_."

"We get through this, "she whispered back, her breath hot and heavy on his neck, "you can do anything you want Daddy."

Negan growled into her neck. "You stay near me."

"Always."

Leaning in his kissed her softly, his gloved finger tips grazing her jaw.

"Always." He repeated, both of their eyes looking up to see the teams drawing the herd away, the loud music and horns pulling its attention.

The dead shuffled along, hordes passing by camouflaged living. Kayla ducked under the gore covered tarp as the corpses continued to walk away. A sharp whistle rang out alerting the next wave of intruders to head in. Groups of people moved forward, their silenced rifles going off with puffs of air. Shouts echoed out and another signal was released bringing the final groups. Kayla and Negan ran along the trees, killing stray undead while dodging the incoming skinwalkers. Their numbers were unknown, the scouting groups unable to decipher the living from the dead while watching. It was going to be a difficult fight but the leaders of every community were determined.

Negan was bludgeoning the dead and living alike, blood arcs over his shoulder as he buried Lucille into a man wearing a skin mask. Kayla swung a machete around, burying it into a feral woman. She dodged the swing, her own knife plunging towards Kayla's stomach. Pushing it away, Kayla kneed her in the ribs and shoved her towards a tree. The woman crashed into it, her hands gripping the bark as Kayla came up behind her. Yanking her hair back, Kayla dragged her machete across her neck, splitting her open and bleeding her dry before her body hit the ground. Spinning around she found Negan sinking his giant knife into the face of a biter, his face speckled with blood.

"Come on doll." He shouted, shoving the body away and motioning to the others up ahead. They were coming to the center of the property, several outbuildings scattered around. Everywhere Kayla looked, people were fighting, knives out and silenced guns being fired. She could see Rick dealing a brutal fist into a large man covered in gore, the two battling for control. A shadow passed by, the shape flickering in her periphery and before she could react, she was tackled to the ground. Grunting in pain, Kayla held onto the wrists of her attacker, their blood covered blade poised above her chest.

"Fuck." She growled, struggling to shove the weapon away from her. The man above her was wearing a filthy set of coveralls, the fabric stiff with blood. His face was hidden behind a gruesome mask sewn together from the skin of a few different dead.

"You will be striped of your skin and sacrificed for your sins." He snarled above her, a set of wild green eyes piercing her. "I will wear your face while gutting your loved ones. You're face will be the last they see."

Growling with rage, Kayla brought her knee up and worked her leg between them. Using brute strength and desire to live, she jammed her boot into his stomach. The man groaned, his hand trying to plunge his knife only to be pummeled from behind. Lucille cracked his skull in two, the blood fountaining down and onto Kayla. Her attacker was tossed away and Negan appeared above her, his eyes wide and fearful.

"I'm good." She huffed, accepting his helping hand to pull her to her feet.

"You sure."

"Yeah." She spoke with conviction despite her shaky hands, following him to the edge of a rundown trailer. They knelt by a rusty car, both jumping when another set of people showed up next to them. Rick was bruised, his eyebrow split open and bleeding.

"Ya a'right?" He rasped, his concerned eyes taking in her bloodied state. Nodding she replied, "you?"

"M'good. The west teams haven't checked in."

"That's not good." Negan drawled, peering around the corner to see figures moving in the large building. "S'pose they got them?"

Kayla felt her chest seize, the woman knowing Michael was working on the crews that were now missing.

"We're going to assume they did." Rick drawled, listening to his walkie as Daryl came on the line.

"They got hostages. Over"

"Fuck." Negan grunted, his dark and narrow eyes watching the building as a group of skinwalkers showed themselves. "There those fucks are."

Rick used binoculars to see whom they'd captured, the man cursing under his breath. "They got Morgan."

Kayla used a riflescope to see what was happening beyond the field, her throat closing as Michael came into focus. The man was on his knees, the tall man blocking the shorter individual behind him.

"Michael." She gasped, squeezing her eyes shut before staring down her scope at her friend. Negan was nearby, his hand touching her lower back in support but she could only gaze at Michael's bloodied face. He was seething, his teeth sneered and eyes slowly blackened. She could see deep cuts in his chest and thighs, blood pooled at his knees.

"What's the plan Deputy Dooright?" Negan growled, "we need to get people in there now."

"We've planned for this. Snipers are in position." Rick replied, his hand touching Kayla's shoulder. "Do you got a shot?"

"Yeah but... they got blades on their necks. If they fall the wrong way, flex their arm as I shoot, one of ours is gonna die."

"Use your judgement." He replied, his words interrupted as the skinwalkers called out.

"You will not succeed. We will cleanse the earth of the living. Only the dead deserve the it. We are merely their vessels."

"These are some crazy fucks." Negan murmured, his arms cradling a rifle as he watched them hold their men and women hostage.

A chain of events slowly unraveled as several gunshots were released. Two skinwalkers fell from well placed rounds, as the throat of a female soldier from kingdom was slit. Her body fell as shouts erupted from the tree line, her name screamed by loved ones. An explosion went off nearby as grenades were tossed towards the enemies barracks. Shrapnel rained down on them, shards of wood and cement.

Kayla couldn't see through the smoke until the wind swept in bringing with it the smell of rotting flesh. The herd was returning, drawn back by the noise. Their window of escape was closing quickly.

"Do you have a shot?" Negan growled next to her, his finger hovering over the trigger as the haze cleared. In the distance the remaining skinwalkers had managed to vanish, only two remaining in place with one remaining hostage. Michael was up front, his throat bleeding from the knife still holding him in place. Time stopped as Michael seemed to find her amongst the obstacles, his dark eyes drilling into her through the scope she peered down.

Kayla knew what he was about to do, his hands tipping her off as he pulled out the blade she'd given him forever ago. "Don't." She murmured, "please."

With a sudden move he tried to escape his captor, his arm slashing at the man behind him. Gunshots rang out and Kayla could hear the walkers returning behind her as time slowed down.

Michael was knocked to the ground by the butt of a shot gun, his body sprawling out on the ground. He rose to his knees, blood dripping off his face and onto the ground. She fired off a round hitting the man with a knife poised in the air, his body falling back. Her aim moved to the second attacker, her sight blocked by a sudden explosion and cloud of dust. She had one last glimpse of Michael, his eyes rising up and meeting hers again before the sound of a shot gun blast echoed from across the grounds.

Kayla was moving before she knew what was happening, her body tackled from behind as she screamed. She clawed at the ground as Negan wrapped her in his long arms from behind, his hands locked around her torso as she struggled.

"Nooooo." She screamed, kicking and elbowing Negan as she saw that the shotgun slug had torn through Michael's stomach. A giant wound had burst open spraying blood to the forest floor as his body buckled. He held himself up on one arm, his other cupping the blood spilling from him.

"Let me go!" Kayla snarled, tearing at Negan's forearms and hands as she watched Michael curl up and hold his guts in. "Michael!" She screeched, a sob choking out of her. "Noooo! Michael! Let me go!"

"You can't go. Kayla I'm sorry you can't go." Negan was rasping, his voice tight as he pulled her away from the scene. She kicked her legs out, tears pouring down her cheeks as she watched the dead circle the man's writhing body.

"End it." Negan ordered, one of the men firing off on round to end Michael's suffering.

Kayla cried, her body shuddering as she saw them descend on the fresh meal. Snarls and groaning erupted loudly as they tore into him. Negan carried her passed the other soldiers, her head bowing as she sobbed violently.

Negan got her into a vehicle, strapping her in before hollering to Simon. "Get everyone back. We need to circle the wagons for the time being."

Kayla was suddenly quiet, her tears still flowing but not another sound came from her. She felt numb, beyond numb. Kayla was an empty husk.

* * *

"We're home Kay." Negan spoke from the drivers seat as the car stopped. Kayla didn't remember him entering the car or the drive home but suddenly they were pulling inside Sanctuary.

"Okay." She croaked, her blood covered hand clumsy as it pulled the door handle. Stumbling out of the truck, Negan was suddenly cupping her elbow and gripping her waist. He guided her inside, voices spoke loudly around her but she was in a daze. Kayla kept seeing Michael's abdomen being blown out of his body, the blood seeping through his tan fingers as he fell. The finality of the gunshot that Negan ordered to put the fallen man out of his misery echoed in her skull.

Squeezing her eyes shut she felt Negan suddenly pick her up, the woman ducking her face into the curve of his shoulder. The leather was sticky with blood, new scratches and holes showing how close to the action he was.

She was placed on the bathroom counter, her eyes blinking in confusion. Negan was removing her layers, unzipping her leather jacket and yanking off her mud covered boots. Kayla helped with her other clothing while he shucked his own gear. She was naked, still leaning against the counter as Negan started the shower. The water thrummed on the tile as he moved her into the shower stall. Climbing inside with her, his hands went to work washing off all the blood and dirt. She rested her forehead against his chest, his fingers digging into her thick locks.

"You with me Kay?" Negan murmured, his voice hoarse and tone soft.

Nodding silently, Kayla pulled back to look at him. she wanted to cry, sob and scream but didn't want to hurt Negan. She didn't want him to misunderstand.

He watched her warily, his hands smoothing away soap and water from her eyes. "You sure?"

"Mmm." She hummed, her throat closing as her mind tortured her with the sight of Michael bleeding. Negan's fingers threaded into her hair, cupping her head to his chest as his other arm wrapped her up.

"Easy." He whispered as a surprising sob tore from her throat. "You're gonna be okay. I gotcha sweetheart. I gotcha."

Clutching onto him, Kayla let the gut wrenching cries free, her tears mixing with the warm water. She couldn't hid the devastation from him, it was too overwhelming to worry about his reaction. Negan did not speak he only held on, his hands still washing her clean while she fractured into pieces.

"I… I." Kayla choked, her head throbbing at the pain of her cries. "C-couldn't get the shot. I should've. I should've and I couldn't."

"I know." He rasped, wiping away tears from her flushed cheeks. "You did what you could."

"It wasn't enough." She growled, her hands turning into tight fists on his chest. "He's dead… Michael… I should've saved him."

"There was nothing you could've done." Negan replied, cupping her face and peering down at her with nothing but understanding. "There wasn't a way to do it better. You did what you could."

Yanking her face away she growled, "well it wasn't fucking enough! He didn't deserve it… he… deserved more."

"Of course he did but this world isn't fair. War isn't fair and just. It's brutal and bloody. Creep-."

"Michael." She snapped, her eyes flooding with tears at speaking the name. Negan stared at her a long moment, his gaze becoming too knowing, too understanding.

"He knew what he was getting into, we all did. Death has always been imminent." He rasped, his hands pulling her back into his chest. Combing a hand into her hair, he gazed down at her and spoke softly, "I know you two were… close. I know that he had feelings for you, more than friendship and I can't fucking blame him. If I could make this better I would but you know as much as I do, we will lose more people than we get to keep."

Kayla's body curled into his, clinging to the slick skin for comfort.

"Let's get you out baby. Okay?" Negan rasped, his voice rough and emotional. "I got you sweetheart."

* * *

It was mere hours later when a tow truck came crashing through their fences, plowing over undead and living alike. Kayla dropped every sorrowful thought and turned it into unadulterated rage, slicing through the incoming herd with the other Saviors. Negan was next to her, his grunts and snarls giving her peace of mind. She hadn't lost him, she wouldn't lose him.

Two corpses approached, tripping over fallen biters and dropped equipment. Kayla jammed a blade into the nearest one, its skull bursting with gore and smearing her face with splatter. Grunting she yanked the machete out, turning to attack the next one when a boot kicked her legs out from under her. She scrambled to catch herself, falling into the spilled blood and cracking her shoulder onto the ground. Yelping at the pain she tried to struggle to her feet only to be kicked to the ground again.

"Ne-." She croaked out, her eyes finding the man fighting off three undead while pinned to a large piece of machinery. Growling she blocked the incoming hits from the skinwalker who made it inside, the large army boots kicking and pinning her ribs to the ground. Catching his incoming boot heel, Kayla shoved with all her strength, knocking him off his feet. She scrambled for a weapon, finding a large wrench dropped from the nearby worktable. Swinging back, she aimed for his rising head when pain spike through her temple. Her eyes blurred and her head felt as though it were splintering into a millions pieces. The last image flashing before her fading eyes was of Negan burying Lucille into an undead skull. Then nothing but darkness remained.


	22. Chapter 22

_Negan POV_

She's gone. The words echoed through his thick skull like a screaming banshee. The pain of it making him rub his temples to quell the ache but nothing soothed it. Negan knew he was experiencing a vicious dose of karma. Knew it in his dark, curdled soul. Kayla was taken from him because of what he'd done and who he'd become. Just like Lucille. He was never a good man and apparently he never learned a lesson either.

'She's gone.' Repeated again as he caught a glimpse of her jacket, the leather bloodied and torn. It was found beyond the walls, far in the woods and staked into a tree as a message. They had her, taken her from his very side.

'She's fucking gone.' He squeezed his eyes shut and ground his teeth to try to gnash the words from his mind. Grind them up and spit them out, as though it would even make a fucking difference.

'She's fucking gone and it's your fucking fault.' He snarled inwardly, his hand gripping his hair into a tight fist. His chest heaved, his nostrils flaring as consuming rage scorched through his veins. Without further hesitation, he picked Lucille up and began destroying everything in reach inside their bedroom. The rust colored barbs tore up furniture and curtains alike, smashed glass tables and bottles of liquor. It was wasteful and completely useless. It wasn't fucking helping.

It was as though a switched flipped, Negan sliding from a rage filled monster to a buckling coward. Lucille was dropped to the floor with a carelessness he would've killed any other man for. White knuckled fists pressed into the floor while Negan knelt with a bowed head and cracked open chest. A similar agony he'd felt only once in his lifetime seemed to pale in comparison to what was tearing through his trembling frame. Carving out the harden knot that resided in his chest. That chunk of flesh that Kayla had brought back to life, now shorn from his body like a cancerous tumor.

'She's gone and you're fucking useless to find her.' The voice spoke to him, its tone twisting into something vicious and cruel. 'She's probably cut up into little bite sized pieces by now. Sprinkled like breadcrumbs through the woods.'

Choking on a sob he pressed the heels of his hands into his shadowed eye sockets, scrubbing away the prickling sensation.

'Just count.' The sound of her soothing voice instantly loosened his lungs. Taking in a slow shuddered breath he whispered, "One…. Two…. Three."

'Breathe.' She murmured, making Negan almost convinced she was right there. He could imagine the heat of her breath and the way her concerned eyes would see straight through him. The way Kayla would just know what he was thinking, what he was feeling. He ached for it.

"Fuck baby." Negan gasped, biting his lip a moment. "I'm fucking fucked without you. You've fucked me up, doll."

Squeezing his eyes shut as he whispered inwardly, the words to important to speak aloud. 'Please let her be okay. I will do any-fucking-thing if she's okay. Fucking Christ just.. fuck… make her okay.'

Sitting back on his heels, Negan rubbed his whole face roughly, growling to clear his mind of such weakness. Shaking his head sharply, he pushed himself up from the floor and snatched the bat up from the broken clutter.

"Sorry Lucy." He muttered, tightening his hand around the handle. "I gotta give you up soon sweetheart. I-…" he rasped, shaking his head and rolling his eyes at his actions. "Crazy fucker."

Huffing out a breath, he combed his hair back and pressed his lips together, his brow furrowed with anger. He needed to consult with Simon. The right hand man would not be pleased with his decision. Negan wasn't wet and willing for it either but it was his only course of action. He would have to eat crow and beg Rick for a serious favor, which had him completely at Rick's mercy. They did not have the men or the trackers to find her among the herd prints. It had been to wide group with too many corpses. They needed someone who could find the human prints within the clumsy dead fuckers and he knew just the redneck that could. He wasn't looking forward to it but Negan said he would do anything and that included swallowing Rick down and thanking him for it.

* * *

_Kayla POV_

Kayla was dragged through the woods after being taken from Sanctuary and eventually fell unconscious from the pain in her head. When she woke next she was in a room of such abhorrent odors and gruesome sights that she wondered if she'd really died and gone to hell.

It smelled of spoiled meat inside the long narrow room. The oppressive stench slicked her throat and mouth with bile, her eyes burning at the fumes of infected flesh. The room was lit dimly, the walls lined with narrow barred windows and camp lanterns.

Her captors were the very people they had tried to extinguish, the creeps in the skin suits and pet herds. They were revolting in many ways but as she looked around, Kayla realized more than anything the revulsion stemmed from their gruesome actions. They were savages who thrived on gutting the human race even further than the plague that had started the whole mess. Kayla's hope to survive the ordeal steadily dropped as the sounds of guttural screams echoed around her. She was in a slaughterhouse and she was the cattle.

Screams tore through the room pulling Kayla attention from struggling with her bound limbs. Her eyes fell to the woman being strung up by her wrists. Meredith had been a pretty little thing and one of Negan's wives. Her brown hair was now hacked to the roots and her legs were striped with deep gouges. The man yanking at her limbs held a hatchet, the edge dripping blood. The women made eye contact for a split second before Meredith's screams started again as the man butchered her calmly. Kayla had never wished to be somewhere else more in her life, she would rather be in the center of a horde of biters than experience one more second in that room.

* * *

He placed her on the cold metal table, its icy surface her wake up call. She could see more of the room from her new spot, her blurry eyes taking in the meat locker. Metal walls were lined with large hooks, tools that once held slabs of cow and pig. Squeezing her eyes shut, Kayla tried to force the images away of writhing bodies on hooks. Moans and whimpers echoed against the silver walls, blood and gore dripping from shorn limbs and gaping wounds. Kayla had seen many gruesome things over the last few years, nightmare inducing events. Nothing compared to the horror show she found herself in. They weren't walkers struggling against their restraints. They were living, breathing human beings squirming like fishing bait.

Kayla now knew what to expect of her near future and she would be a liar if she claimed to not be terrified. She was convinced that dying during the biter invasion would have been a kinder way to go.

While face down, leather straps were tightened across her limbs and torso. Her bruised cheek was pressed into the cold tabletop, the temperature soothing the constant throb of a bruised cheekbone. Blinking slowly, Kayla watched as the man who tended to the room circled the table. A rolling tray was wheeled over, the surface covered in shiny blades and bone saws.

Her heart was racing so fast she could swear it was pounding against the table. Tremors began to run through her body, the table vibrating with the total body shakes. Panting as she watched him pick up a few before replacing them and moving to the next. A moan came from the wall of writhing bodies drawing both their attention. Kayla could see the body of a male, his torso an array of raw flesh and limbs shortened. Tears began to pour from her eyes as she realized it was Morgan, his face turning into a tight grimace. She had never been a fan of his but seeing a familiar face in such a state was soul torturing.

He groaned, his whole body writhing as the jailer approached Kayla again. Gasping as he reached the side of the table, she flicked her eyes from his scalpel wielding hand to Morgan.

"Hey." Morgan grunted, blood spraying as he spoke. "A-ass-ole."

The man in dirty coveralls turned around to look at the mutilated man, his body slowly rotating to give Morgan his full attention.

"Le-v… 'er…. lone." Morgan choked, his chin and chest covered in blood. Kayla shook her head trying to tell him to stop, her teeth chattering as fear began to swallow her whole.

"I believe I should have removed your tongue instead of your spleen." The gruff voice of their captor informed, his heavy boots thumping towards Morgan. She watched, her chest clenching as the man pulled out a vicious knife. It's curved tip shined in the flickering lights. Kayla couldn't watch when he went to work on the already dying man. The screams and gurgles were enough to make her sob uncontrollably. By the time the room fell silent of his screams, Kayla was hyperventilating. It only took the man turning back towards her, his hands soaked in blood to make her heart stop. One palm held his knife while the other wagged a chunk of meat at her. "Now, where was I?"

* * *

_Daryl POV_

Daryl stood at the gate entrance as a truck from Sanctuary pulled up the street. He could see Negan in the front seat and his right hand man, Simon, driving.

"What're they doing here?" Tara asked from nearby, the woman looking back as Rick strode towards them. Michonne was at his side, her rifle slung over her shoulder.

"Don' know." Daryl muttered motioning for Rick to approach. "Only got the two of 'em in the front, two in the back."

"A'right. Let's go out, see what they want. I want eyes on everybody, guns ready."

"I thought we were working with them?" Eric asked, peering through the gate with a gun in his hands.

"We are but we're not lettin' our guards down." Rick replied, sauntering out the gate and down the street. Daryl followed him, bow ready but not aimed at the men. He scanned the woods for ambush, the man still feeling that the Saviors were filthy liars. Negan hopped out of the truck, Lucille hanging limply from his hand. Daryl noticed immediately that something grave had happened, the man's face looked stricken. He wasn't wearing his familiar mocking grin and taunting eyes.

"Negan." Rick greeted, his hands resting on his hips above the low-slung holster.

"How's it hanging Prick?" Negan asked, his usual goading falling flat. Rick noticed the change in him also, his head cocking to the side as Simon joined them. The lieutenant sported a gruesome cut across his cheek, the black sutures poking out haphazardly.

"What are you doing here?" Rick drawled, his eyes flicking over the two before glancing at the truck.

"We were attacked by the leftover skinjobs a couple days ago." Negan explained, shifting his weight, hinting at a hidden injury. "Drove through our fences, had a whole new crop of rotten fuckers with them."

"Well you're here, " Rick replied, crossing his arms. "Ya got out."

"Yeah.. yeah we got out." Negan huffed, shaking his head a little before turning back to them "They got Kayla."

"What?" Rick growled, his eyes jumping between the men. "What do ya mean?"

"What the fuck do you think I mean man?" Negan snapped, his eyes blazing and teeth clenched. "They got in. They took a handful of people. They-." His throat seemed to close up as he looked away, his jaw thick with tension. Clearing his throat Negan explained, "we were fighting our way out. She was next to me one minute and the next... gone. We found her gear on the outside of the fence once we got out. They took her."

Rick was quiet for a long moment, his hand scrubbing his jaw in thought, his narrowed eyes looking off into the distance.

"I'm not someone who likes to do shit like this Rick." Negan spoke with a grimace, like the taste of his next words made him sick to his stomach. "I need your help. Specifically someone who can track these fucks."

Simon stood nearby, his hands resting on his hips and his face deeply scowled. Daryl could tell the man was really uncomfortable with his boss's choice to seek help. Negan cleared his throat, his hand tightening on Lucille as he spoke, "I know... fucking shit, I know you don't owe me fuck all but Kayla? She's done nothing but try to make this shit work between everybody. She-."

Shaking his head, Negan stopped speaking and only stared at Rick waiting for his decision. Daryl looked over at Rick and could tell he was going to agree for Kayla's sake but there was something else in his eyes. He was working through their options, planning something only he knew. Daryl had seen the look over the last few years, at Grady in Atlanta and inside Terminus being standouts. Rick was solving their problems once and for all.

"We'll help get Kayla back. Daryl here can track."

"Excellent." Negan grinned, slapping Simon on the back. "See I knew-."

"I wasn't done speaking." Rick rasped, his arms crossed and feet shoulder width apart. "There's conditions."

"Conditions." Negan growled, his glare scalding as he stared down at Rick. Simon scoffed nearby, "I fucking told you man."

"Shut up." Negan snapped, shoving his man away as he tried to pull him back.

"We'll help you get her back, your people back but there's conditions." Rick explained, his expression stoic. "I'm sure you'd do the same in my shoes."

"You're a real piece of fucking work Rick. She's your goddamn sister!" Negan snarled, Simon holding him back from swinging at Rick. Daryl kept his bow ready, his narrowed gaze watching the men in the truck as well as Simon.

"Yeah, she is and I'm gonna help her but not until you agree to our terms."

"Boss." Simon growled, his voice low and serious "ya gotta think ahead boss. Whatever he's asking for... is it worth it?."

Negan's eyes had never been so dark, his tone turning into something cold and lethal, "I'm not letting her get cut into pieces out there Simon. She's my fucking wife."

"Come on man, I know you like her best but you've got a few more."

"There is  _only_  Kayla, has been for a longtime now." Negan snapped, shoving his right hand man away. "There's only her."

Daryl watched him coming unglued, the idea that even a man like Negan had a heart was surprising. The need he had for Kayla wasn't just a need to reclaim property, it was something deep and in order to have that, one needed a heart. It was relieving in a way because it meant he had weakness, Rick knew it also and was now using the situation to protect themselves further. It was not very morally correct but nothing in the new world was. Sometimes terrible things needed to be done for the greater good.

Simon stomped away, his hand thrown up in frustration. The truck door slammed shut and Negan paced a moment, his hand raking through his hair before he stopped in front of them. He stood there a moment, his eyes narrowed and mouth in a firm line.

"What do you want?" Negan grunted, wringing Lucille's handle anxiously in a way Daryl had ever seen before. Rick shifted his feet and replied, "We want strict boundaries, lines in the sand that your men won't cross. They won't come near or enter Alexandria, Hilltop or Kingdom. You will cease and desist any and all contact with any other group that lives nearby. Your racket is over.  _You_  are over."

Negan's teeth were set so tight, the knot at his jaw was ticking. Daryl glanced at Rick and saw him eyeing the man warily. A reflection in the trees caught Daryl's attention momentarily, the distinctive shape of one of their sharp shooters in the trees.

"What happened to free fucking trade Prick?" He snapped, pointing at him angrily, "what happened to working together?  _Cooperation_?"

"We're willing to trade but it will be in a controlled area with strict rules of conduct."

Huffing out an irritated breath, Negan glanced back at Simon who was seething in the truck. Rick darted his eyes over to Daryl who noticed something other than peaceful resolution. Negan's head leaned back and he laughed wryly, his smile something twisted and far from amused, "Alright, Rick. You got me over a fucking barrel, don't you? I'm pegged. Alright... okay. You got what you want. I won't come near you or your little friends. We'll trade as peaceful as hippies at a farmers fucking market. All of it, when we get Kayla back."

"Not when." Rick drawled, "if she's dead and we tried, the deal's done."

"It's not done unless I have her. Alive or-." Negan growled, his eyes looking away with something close to grief in his eyes. His fist clenched a few times as he stuffed down the words.

Rick's head tilted slightly as he agreed, "We don't stop until we get her back, alive or… not."

Negan seemed resigned, his shoulders sagging a bit as he stepped forward to shake Rick's hand. Daryl saw him reach out and grasp Negan's hand, the men shaking on the agreement stiffly.

"So how do we do this?" Negan asked hoarsely, rubbing his temple as though in pain.

"We'll figure it out." Rick replied, his eyes flicking to the trees before tapping his revolver. Three gunshots rang out in quick succession. The truck's windshield was instantly coated in red, Simon taking a large rifle round to the chest. The other Saviors were easily picked off which left a very surprised Negan. Rick tackled him to the ground, both men punching and strangling each other. Daryl tried to get a shot but they were a tangle of limbs and weapons. Rick's knife sliced across Negan's chest and neck, the man losing strength but not done fighting

"You dumbfuck. I'm gonna stomp your scrawny ass." Negan snarled, swinging a heavy fists into Rick's ribs while they struggled. "You motherfucker."

"Don't kill 'im." Rick shouted as Daryl pressed a bolt to Negan's forehead. "We need him."

Daryl stepped forward and cracked the bleeding man in the temple, ending his fight with a brutal concussion. Rick was panting heavily, his hand holding his side. Daryl stepped forward and grumbled, "What the hell man. When did this plan start?"

"Couple minutes ago but me and Michonne talked about. I told her if there was ever a time we could take him down, we would but we need to show his group that we own him now. They need to see he ain't coming back and that his lieutenants are gone."

"So we're killing him?"

"Not yet."

"What about Kayla?"

Rick grunted, scrubbing his beard after flipping Negan onto his stomach and cuffing his wrists together. "Let's stop his bleeding, take a trip to Sanctuary to show them we got him, that they ain't in control of us anymore and that they can either take care of themselves or go to hell. After that we'll check for tracks, see if we can find her."

Pulling Negan upright, the two men dragged him limply to the back of the large vehicle, shoving his dead weight into the empty truck bed. Daryl hopped in to guard him as Rick spoke over the radio informing everyone the plan.

"What happens when we get Kayla back, she ain't gonna like this happenin'?" Daryl asked, his narrowed eyes looking over the man who'd caused their family the worst kinds of torment.

"We'll deal with it then." Rick slid his radio in his back pocket, his gaze turning to Daryl. "Let's focus on finishing this and looking for tracks. After we find her, we can worry about what to do."

* * *

_Kayla POV_

Crusty eyes peeled open, Kayla coming back to consciousness after yet another session with her captor. Time passed both excruciatingly sluggish and painfully quick. Most of the time she couldn't tell how many hours, days, weeks had faded away, the only real sign of time being the change in her injuries.

When the blood pooling below her congealed she knew it had been hours, when it was faking off it had been days. The scabs on her arms thickened and eventually peeled away, pink skin exposed below. Kayla knew at that point she'd been gone at least a week, maybe more.

'They think you're dead.' A warped voice came from her side. Kayla twisted her head around, looking for the source but saw nothing but shadows.

Groaning, the injured woman wished she could move her arms, she'd scrub her eyes and face. Kayla was losing it, she was convinced of it now that she was hearing random phantoms in her head.

'Don't lose it.' She growled inwardly, 'Don't fucking lose it. Neg-.' shaking her head at her inability to even think of his name.

'He'll find you.' she whispered to herself. 'He will find you.'

Licking her dry, cracked lips, Kayla stared blankly at the other people in the room. Most were no longer living, their reanimated corpses now writhing around. They were reaching out for the dangling meals nearby, their snarls and hisses a constant drone. She was terrified that one would get loose and eat her but as horrifying as it was, Kayla wasn't too sure she would fight it. Being eaten alive couldn't be any worse that having skin peeled from her body.

* * *

"I'm sorry." She mumbled into the dark room. "M'sorry. M'sorry." The prone woman wasn't sure why the words were stuck in her head, her lips forming them like prayers. There was something on the edges of her dazed mind that had her feeling the need to apologize. Something telling her, she'd done wrong and needed to atone before it was too late.

"Shush darlin'." A gruff voice spoke nearby, "Got nothin' t'apologize for."

"Shane?" Kayla croaked, her bloodshot eyes flicking around the low-lit room.

"M'here Kaybear." Her brother rasped, his familiar face appearing out of the shadows. Slowly walking towards her, Kayla saw he wore his old sheriff deputy t-shirt and thick cargo pants tucked into his boots. His hair was messy but cheeks shaved, the cocky grin he usually sported transformed into a tight scowl.

"Shane." She whispered, blinking the tears from her sore lids. "You here?"

" 'course I am. Where else would I be huh? Ya know I love ya little sister." He drawled, a smirk curling his lip and his eyebrow cocked high. Kayla couldn't help the chuckle that escaped at the sight of his familiar expression. Her chest clenched as she realized he wasn't really there, he couldn't be.

"Now, now don't get all upset." Shane instructed softly, crouching to her eye level, his brow furrowed. "Don't matter. I'm here 'cause ya need me darlin'. Don't matter how."

"It hurts." Kayla rasped, licking her scabbed lips. "Shane."

"I know." He whispered, his fingers brushing sticky hair from her temple. "Don't think about it right now Kay. Talk t'me darlin'."

"Okay." She croaked, her eyes looking him over with heavy eyes. "Missed you, you asshole."

Shane huffed out a breath, his eyes rolling at her insult and his lip quirking up into his usual sarcastic grin. "You always knew how t'charm 'em sweetheart."

Kayla tried to smile but it slid from her face instantly. "Am I gonna die?"

"Stop." He grunted, shaking his head while rubbing his neck and giving her a side eye. "Don't wanna hear ya talk like that. It's bullshit."

"You think… you think Negan's okay?" she asked instead, her eyes flicking towards Shane. She watched him lick his lip nervously, his shoulder rolling heavily. "Probably."

"You'd like him."

"Seems like a downright asshole t'me." Shane chuckled his teeth flashing slightly. "He and Rick sure don' like each other."

"Yeah." She sighed, rubbing her face against the table to rid herself of the tears still falling. Shane rest a large palm on her cheek, the heat from his hand too good to be true.

"You're strong. You're gonna make it." He spoke with conviction, his thumb wiping underneath her bruised eyes. "Don't give up. You're man.. this Negan. You'll get back t'him."

"Promise?"

"No promises now darlin'." Shane drawled, his brows raised and mouth scowled, "But I know you. You're my lil sister after all. Nobody's more stubborn than a Walsh, got me Kay. Nobody. Ya hold on girl. Don't look at 'im. Keep lookin' at me. Ya hear me girl? Don't look at 'im. Don't. Look…."

"It is unfortunate someone damaged such a pretty face." The man muttered above her, his stiff mask made of human flesh hiding whoever lay below it. "I would've liked to use it. Such a pretty tan. Perhaps I will take the good half."

Shane was long gone and Kayla couldn't stop the sob from escaping as she peered up at the actual person above her. Squeezing her eyes shut, Kayla tried to do as her brother said. 'Don't look. Don't look.'

His gloved fingers traced the long healed scars spreading across Kayla's cheek. It seemed so long ago that she was healing from such a grievous injury caused by Amber and Dwight. She had thought it was the most pain she'd ever experience. It seemed now that even the most excruciating pain of her life couldn't stand up to that inflicted on her by the man nearby. Leatherface, as she referred to him in her mind, was a sadist. The new world could've made him but Kayla was convinced the monster he was had resided in him long before. There was no way in her mind that such a monster could've developed in such a short time. He was evil incarnate, violence and cruelty rolled up into one vicious animal.

* * *

_Negan POV_

"Fuck." He groaned, his hand touching his temple as what felt to be the worst hangover of all time crushed his skull like an egg. Negan couldn't remember how much he drank the night before but it must've been more than usual if he hurt so badly. As he blinked through the terrible sunlight shining in his eyes Negan realized his mistake. No alcohol had been consumed. He was recovering from a vicious head injury caused by the blunt end of a crossbow, not alcohol poisoning.

"Motherfuckers." He growled, sitting up only to fall back down from the uncontrollable vertigo destroying his ability to see straight. Squeezing his eyes shut, pain throbbed through his head and eyes like thunder, rumbling across the surface and stabbing down into his gray matter. His neck was stretched tight and felt as if it were about to split open. Stitches lined the area Rick had cut him, the bandages clean but spotted with blood. The physical pain couldn't hold a candle to the rage that slowly grew inside him though.

They'd tricked him, sabotaged him at his weakest moment. Kayla's face flashed behind his creased eyelids making him shove the pain away and rise on shaking legs. He needed to get out of that damn room. She was out there, somewhere by herself and Negan was yet again stuck in a cage.

He scanned his surroundings and found a very familiar jail cell. Growling low and rough he scanned the walls and iron bars but knew if Kayla hadn't been able to escape he most likely wouldn't either. The door to the home containing the cell opened and boots scuffed their way towards the metal door.

"What in the holy fuck do you think you're doing Prick?" Negan sneered, stomping towards the iron bars. "We had a goddamn deal you cocksucker."

"We did and we're sticking to it."

"Oh really, is that why my ass is locked in a fucking box? Are you even looking for Kayla?"

"She's no longer your concern."

"No longer… She's my fucking wife, Prick. She will  _always_  be my fucking concern." Negan snarled, gripping the bars and shaking them. "I swear to fuck if you left her out there to die I'm gonna tear your heart out and feed it to you."

"We are stickin' to our agreement. We're looking for her and we won't stop until we do." Rick informed, leaning against the wall. "As for the other conditions, we will be trading with your men like we said we would, you just won't be involved anymore."

"You fuck." Negan growled, his eyes drilling into the man beyond the bars. "My men aren't going to stand for this bullshit. You think they won't come for me. You're fucking fucked Prick. They're gonna tear your walls to the fucking ground and slaughter you assholes."

"We've already met with them, Negan. Most of the people there actually wanted to leave that shithole you called home. Some fought it but they were taken care of easily enough. Sanctuary is no more. With the fences down and so many Saviors dead from the herd, the residents chose to divide up into the other communities. You're finished Negan. You're  _reign_  is over."

Negan stood there with a scowl, the words too hard to accept. He wasn't supposed to be dethroned. He was the largest swinging dick of all time, he wasn't supposed to be locked in a cage. His men had abandoned him. They'd cut and run. Tucked tail and become lapdogs to Rick of all people.

Fury began to burn straight through him. He'd been made a fool of. He'd been backstabbed and bent over and reamed hollow. Someone had taken everything he worked for and now he would have to look at Rick's smug fucking face for however long it took them to execute him.

"So what, you're gonna off me Prick? Hand out some poetic fucking justice. We gonna see Judge Judy and get an official verdict."

"No need for a trial Negan. We've all witnessed your heinous crimes against humanity. And we won't execute you. I decided it would be better for you to witness what can happen when the livin' work together. I want you t'see that we're better than you. That we can make it in this world without men like you. You will see us thrive from behind these bars until you die of old age."

Negan stared at him a moment before he began laughing, the sound more aggressive than humored. His eyes burned with hate and his teeth were bared like a feral wolf. Sauntering around the room Negan sighed, scrubbing his beard. "You're a real prick you know that Rick."

"So you've said." The ex deputy replied dryly. "But you're in there and I'm out here so I think I can tolerate being a prick. It's better than an inmate."

"Fuck you." Negan snapped, jabbing a finger in his direction. "You better fuckin' find her. I'm serious Rick, I will find a way to gut you, you fuck."

Rick did not reply, he only motioned to the small table next to the bed. "There's food there. I suggest you eat it and get some more rest. You lost a lot of blood and suffered a mild concussion."

"Oh yeah, tell your boyfriend thanks for that you shitheel." He snapped, stomping to the tray before chucking it at the gate. "Shove your shit sandwich up you're lily white ass you dumb bastard. You better find her, I swear to fuck Rick. I'm not kidding. You won't like what happens if you don't."

Without reacting Rick climbed the stairs and exited the building leaving him to stew in rage. Negan paced back and forth like a trapped predator, his hands raking through his thick hair. He grimaced as he was met with the large bump on his temple, the skin sewn together.

"Redneck asshole." He grumbled while stalking in a circle. "These fucking dumb cunts think this cage can hold me. Fucking idiots. I'll get out. I'll fuck them all and burn their shit to the ground. Fucking Prick."

Kayla's dark chocolate eyes and soft pink smile flashed through his mind, the woman still missing and possibly gone for good. Closing his eyes tight, he fought the torturing burn lacing his lids. A thick knot clogged his throat, a drowning sensation making him gasp for air. Panic settled into his veins like cement, weighing him down while still making him tremble. Negan wasn't sure if he believed that they were looking for her. Even if they were, he wasn't sure if they would find her. The thought that he may never see her again was worse than staying locked up as Rick's social experiment. Negan would take a dozen life sentences if it meant Kayla was alive and safe.

* * *

_Kayla POV_

"Nooooo." Her cracking voice howled as the tugging sensation turned into an excruciating fire licking her back. He was taking more from her, flaying her like a fresh caught kill. The only difference being, she was alive and fully conscious.

"You will make excellent material." Her captor assured her, setting it aside before turning back, his eyes trailing over her with a thoughtful tilt to his head. "I believe I need one more."

"P-p-p-please. N—n-n-n- More." Kayla stammered, her teeth chattering as he went for another strip. The torturous sensation made her heart race and her lungs shudder through jagged gasps. The sensory overload had her eyes fluttering closed and her mind shutting off blessedly.

* * *

"You're so beautiful." Negan rasped, his hands sliding along her ribs, gripping her hips and tits as though she'd float away. Clutching her while his mouth worked over her skin and whispered filthy promises into the arch of her neck.

Kayla moaned, her face tucking into his shoulder as his fingers dipped into her with pleasing depth. Spreading her open and sucking her down his throat like honey.

"I miss you." She whispered, her chapped lips feeling harsh against his soft skin.

"I'm right here." Negan chuckled, his eyes twinkling and lips quirked up.

Kayla felt her own eyes fill with tears, her head pounding and throat sore. "It feels like you're a ghost."

"Maybe but I bet my dick doesn't feel like it." He joked, thrusting up into her. "Need me to give you the hot beef injection to prove it dollface?"

"Negan." She whispered, her fingers curling into fists as his face faded and body melted away. "Come back. Please."

Her body was trembling, clammy skin stretched over scorching heat. Kayla felt as though she were made of fire, coals burning behind her eyes but ice in her toes. The shaking never stopped, the twitching of her limbs constant. Singed nerves and taut muscles.

"Gotta go hotstuff. Broads to bang and heads to bash. You know how it is."

"No… don't leave."

Negan stood nearby, his dark eyes raking over her prone body. "You're dead Kay. I gotta move on. Just like Lucille."

"N-Negan." She whimpered, hot tears dripping from her bruised cheeks. "Don't go."

* * *

_Negan POV_

"My dad is wrong, we should kill you." Carl spoke from beyond the barred door, his narrowed eye glaring at the inmate. Negan sat on the edge of the bed, his elbows resting on his knees.

"Yeah I fucking know Kid. He's gonna regret pulling this shit. I'm gonna shove Lucille so far up his ass he'll taste the tip." Negan growled, his angry eyes meeting Carl's. "He better be looking for Kayla."

Carl shifted his feet and looked away, trying to keep the information from him. Negan stood up and sauntered to the bars, his large hands gripping them tightly. "Is he looking for her?"

Shrugging, Carl looked at him blankly and replied, "Why should I tell you? You don't deserve anything from us."

"I don't but she does." Negan growled shaking the bars. "Fuck kid just let me out so I can go find her."

"No." the teen replied, crossing his arms. "You're staying in there Negan. I don't agree with my dad but I guess watching you rot might be alright."

"Carl there was a time I wished that one of my plentiful loads had birthed a kid like you but now…" Negan rasped, rubbing his jaw line while shaking his head, "Now I think you're just a real shithead. Maybe it's because you got one eye or maybe because your dad's a backstabbing bastard but lately I feel like you're being a big twat about everything."

"You killed my friends. You cut my girlfriend's hand off. I think I have reasons to hate your guts." Carl sneered, his shoulders rolling forward much like his old man's. "You're gonna rot and I'm gonna laugh."

"Hey at least I didn't kill your little slice of tween pussy, kid. She can still pump your gas."

"Fuck you." Carl growled, his hands resting on the hilt of his gun. "Don't talk about her."

"Just fucking tell me if he's looking for Kayla." Negan sighed, pressing his forehead against the bars while holding them with tight fists. "She's my wife… Carl, just tell me goddamnit."

Carl huffed out a breath, a satisfied smirk curling his lips, as he seemed to enjoy the man's desperate pleas. "Sucks to be you Negan. Sucks to be you."

* * *

_Kayla POV_

With heavy eyes, Kayla glanced at the sound of the door opening. A violent gagging and resulting splash of vomit had her blinking through the fuzziness. Leatherface did not have a weak stomach, he couldn't with the work that he did. A few shapes came inside, their feet heavy but slow and measured.

"Christ." A gruff voice rasped, a few whispers in reply were too quiet for her to hear.

"Oh my god." A new voice spoke much closer, footsteps coming faster. Kayla couldn't help but tense up in preparation for more pain. She wasn't too sure if that were even possible. A hand came near her face making her flinch violently, the table shuddering with the strength of her action. Her trembles became frantic, her breathing fast and shallow.

"Kayla, hey, hey. Hold still."

Struggling away from the suffocating grasp, Kayla snarled and snapped her teeth in retaliation.

"We need to get her out of here now." The deep voice growled, "Get a car ready, we need to get her to Hilltop. It's closer."

Kayla couldn't stop the total body spasms that vibrated the metal table, her limbs twitching as hands began unlacing the leather straps. As soon as they slipped away, she tried to flee but hands held her down. Her body was weak, her struggling no threat to anyone but herself. "N-n-no. No… n."

"Easy. Kayla. Easy. We got ya." His voice was calm but the tremor in it revealed the deception. "Look at me Kay. Come on."

Blinking through black spots, Kayla's wary eyes peered through matted hair to see Rick's bright blue ones. A sob choked from her throat, her hands clutching onto his forearms with renewed strength. She was terrified he was just another mirage, a specter to cause more mental anguish to join her physical agony.

"I got ya. You're gonna be okay." He rasped, his forehead close to hers.

"H-h-he'll c-c-come." Kayla warned through chattering teeth, her eyes flickering around the room.

"He's dead." Rick growled determinedly, his hands covering her desperate grasp. "They're all dead. They won't touch you again. Ever."


	23. Chapter 23

_Kayla POV_

"Might not be survivable… gangrene and infection… dead tissue…" A hushed voice spoke, the words garbled in Kayla's woozy fever riddled mind. "Nerve and muscle damage….. shutting down. Needs sedation."

"Do what you've got too, we'll run tomorrow to Kingdom… make a list." The conversation went on around her, the voices fading in and out as the pain and drugs addled her brain.

* * *

_Negan pov_

"Hey Prick, I was thinking about this with all my leisure time, how long did you wait to even start looking for her?" Negan asked while leaning against the wall behind the lumpy mattress. He watched as Rick slid a tray of food under the cell door. "If you even fucking looked for her that is?"

"We're not going to talk about Kayla. Like I said she's no longer your concern."

"I simply can't comprehend how you can possibly fucking think that because I'm locked in this podunk Mayberry shithouse guarded by a poor man's Andy fucking Griffith and his junkyard dog that I wouldn't be concerned with the welfare of  _my wife_." He hissed, his teeth clenched and glare livid.

Negan had sat around on his ass for a couple weeks now, his mind mostly scheming all the creative ways he wanted to kill Rick and every lackey who stabbed him in the back. The rest of his time was spent thinking of Kayla, replaying conversations and remembering the last time he laid in bed with her. She was curled into his chest, all warm and soft and welcoming. They talked about their future, about the future of Sanctuary. She had ideas on how to make things work, how to feed their people without the other communities. Everything was going to be different, better even. Now it was all for nothing, now they would never be able to prove they could survive without Rick and his groupies. Now she was gone and he was caged.

Most of the time he could shove away the sorrow and fill himself up with hate but in the dead of the night, as he lay there by himself for the first time in a long time, he contemplated ending it. Ending a useless life without Kayla.

Rick rolled his eyes, his arms crossing lazily, "You can think about her all you want. You just won't be provided with information. You're here to serve a sentence and part of that will be no longer interacting with the outside world."

"Just tell me if you looked, if you found her?" Negan muttered, his tone sounding far too desperate for his own taste.

"No."

Negan ground his teeth together and came forward, his hands wrapping around the bars. "Let's just hypothesize that you did find her, do you think she's going to sit back and let you keep me in here? You think she'll allow you to lock me up, like you locked her up? Maybe you don't know Kayla at all."

"I know her, I've known her all her life."

"Yet instead of jumping in the truck to help me go look for her, you jumped me instead. You went to take over my fucking place and claim my shit as yours. I bet you didn't even bother looking for her. I bet you don't want to find her because of what she'll do to you for this. Not only did you break the truce she helped facilitate, you attacked her husband and destroyed her home."

Rick stared at him, his expression blank causing Negan to continue to prod. He needed to know. Kayla was his and if she was gone, he  _needed_  to know.

"If you didn't bother looking for her, I'm gonna kill you. Hell even if you did look and didn't find her, I'm gonna kill you because you wasted precious fucking time backstabbing me. Anything that happened to her,  _everything_ that happened to her is your fucking fault."

Rick glared at him, his fists balled tightly. Negan could see a darkening in the other man's eyes and the sight had his heart stopping. It was guilt but it was way too intense to be only regret for delaying a search, he had either not searched at all or found her too late. Negan's heart stuttered and he rasped, "Did you find her? Were you too late?"

They stared at each other for a long moment before Rick replied, "I'll be back in the morning for your bucket."

Negan ground his teeth together and glared at the man's back as he left the home. "Prick." He grunted, his forehead thumping against the bars resignedly. "Fucking assholes."

* * *

_Kayla POV_

White, bright white scorching her retinas and lancing through her brain. Kayla squeezed the bruised lids protecting her sensitive eyes trying to avoid the harshness. The longer she lay still, the more she sensed around her. A thick southern accent caught her attention, the sound making her chest clench with familiarity.

"Shane?" Kayla croaked, her eyes ground together as she tried to blink through the pain. Her body was propped on her side, the fire licking her back still prevalent and all consuming but eased without the pressure of resting flat.

"Easy Kay. You're okay. Lay still."

"Shane." She whispered, rolling her head around to see where he was. "Don't go."

"You're safe Kayla." The voice murmured next to her ear, the cadence gentle and soothing, "Just rest."

"I held on Shane." Kayla murmured, her fingers clutching to the pillow holding her up. "Just like ya said. I looked though. I couldn't... he made me look. M'sorry."

"Shhh. Ya did good Kay."

"Shane." Kayla mumbled, her fingers finding a warm palm to hold onto. "Remember... remember that summer?"

"Which one?" he rasped, the sound of his voice close and quiet.

She laid her head back, the throbbing at the base of her skull and behind her eyes made her grimace. "The one at the lake... we uh... the three of us. We hung out all day in the sun floating on inner tubes."

"Yeah, yeah I remember that. Ya got burnt."

Kayla smiled a little at the words. "Yeah... oh god that hurt. Poor Rick and his farmer tan."

A chuckle next to her had her lips twitching. "You called him Neapolitan all month because he was striped tan, pink and white."

A snort nearby had her coughing out a laugh as he replied. "We got drunk on Miller-light and strawberry Boone's. It was all we could find."

Kayla nodded into her pillow. "Yeah. You... uh.. you ditched me later to bang Maryanne from the Waffle House."

"It was the Dairy Queen on Main."

"Oh yeah…. free dilly bars all summer." She muttered, nodding with a heavy head. "Yeah... I think... I think, Shane?"

"M'here."

"I think I'm dyin'." She croaked, blinking her watery eyes and swallowing thickly. Kayla couldn't think straight, her mind moving through thoughts as if made of molasses. Everything was cluttered and her vision murky.

"You aren't. You're okay."

"If I do..." she murmured, her voice cracking at the thought of never seeing Negan again. She loved him so much, missed him terribly and couldn't stand the thought of leaving him alone in a world of enemies. Kayla feared what he would turn into, what would become of him once she wasn't there to talk him down from making poor decisions. He was a hothead just like Shane, Kayla needed to help even him out and placate situations when he couldn't see straight. Those times when he didn't care about consequences.

"Ya ain't dyin'."

"Yeah but if I do... you think.. maybe you can check on Negan for me?" Kayla asked, the silence making her eyes flutter open to see if her brother was still there or just another hallucination.

"Why?"

"He uh... he already lost a wife and it broke 'im... I'm not sure he can do it again.. I'm not..." she coughed a few times, her head pounding at the actions. "I'm not sayin'.. I'm anything special but he... uh... he seems to think so I guess."

Blinking a few times she tried to find Shane but everything was hazy. His shape didn't seem the same, his shoulders not near as wide or hair as dark. Shrugging it off Kayla continued feverishly mumbling, "He's strong but he uh... he's gonna... m'scared they'll kill him without me here... they hate him. Hate him so much but... they don't get it."

"What don't they get?"

"He wants it to work... he's selfish 'cause he had to be... kept lots alive choosin' his own over everybody else. But he.. uh.. he's human.. just like e'rybody... fucked up like 'verbody." Her words were heavy and slurred, her body feeling as if it were on fire. "Rick, he... he thinks he's better... thinks he's different but... it's not.. just the players are different. Who's better, who's worth it, why... nobody knows but everybody says they know."

"She's burning up." A detached voice spoke, "she won't last with this fever."

"Nobody's better... nobody and we... I-I-I.. think.. it won't be easy. It won't. Never is. Never easy but if we just... we have to stop looking back.. I kept looking and looking but you never see what's comin' if you keep lookin' back. They don't want to see passed what he did... he did bad, real bad... don't want to let go. But you gotta... you gotta let go. I did, I couldn't. I kept picturing it. Kept seeing him kill you but then... then I-I-"

"Gotta sleep Kayla. You got a fever, you need to rest."

"K. Just... I wish you were here Shane. I wish I was there too, when it all happened. When Rick did it." She whispered, words she'd only ever thought and never voiced. "If I was there then maybe you wouldn't be dead. They all said... you lost it, said you were bad and.. I know, I know how you get sometimes. Know you get tangled up… not thinkin' straight. We both were always better together. If I was there... you'd be here."

"It's not your fault Kayla."

"If I was there m-maybe, maybe I coulda helped. Maybe I coulda stopped it. Stopped you. Stopped him."

"You couldn't. This world changes people. I'm sorry about what happened. M'sorry that it turned out the way it did. I didn't want to kill him, he made me choose and I had to choose me, for my family."

"I know." Kayla whispered, blinking sweat from her bloodshot eyes. "It's the only way. Protect what's yours. Negan... he tries. He does it wrong sometimes... like you, Shane. I gotta find him before it gets bad. I gotta go."

A hand lay on her shoulder as she tried to move without much progress. "Maybe when you're better but you gotta get some sleep Kayla."

Sighing she relaxed her head into the pillow, her eyes fluttering closed only to snap open again fearfully. "If I wake up are you gonna be gone?"

"I'm not sure." He rasped, fingers stroking hair from her forehead.

"Will you stay for awhile?" she mumbled, her heavy eyelids closing again without opening.

"Yeah.. yeah I'll stay awhile."

"Love you big brother."

"Love you Kayla."

* * *

_Negan POV_

"Hello Negan." A voice greeted from the doorway. Stretched out on the narrow bed, Negan glanced over at Jesus and grinned. "Well, squeeze my nuts and call me Sally, if it ain't my best friend Jeebus. How's it  _hanging_ JC?"

"Splendid." Jesus, ignoring the man's mocking while leaning a leather clad shoulder against the wall. "Especially now. I wasn't too sure if I believed it but here you are."

Negan snorted, his hands resting behind his head. "I know right? This place is a real shit hole, there's no cable and I don't even get a working toilet. Best part of my day is watching Rick haul my bucket of shit out."

The man was quiet for a moment until Negan asked, "So you help with the search or did you forget about all the shit Kay did to help you fucks out?"

Jesus smirked, shrugging his shoulder, "What search?"

Growling, Negan stood up and sauntered to the metal bars. "You know which one, the search for your goddamn ballsack. I'm sure if you check Rick's purse you'll find 'em."

"Right next to yours I imagine."

"Oh I got mine." Negan leered, graphically adjusting his dick while leaning forward to whisper, "You wanna see 'em babyface? I can spot a groupie from a mile away. You're into bad boys and let met tell you sweetcheeks, I am the  _baddest_  boy _._ "

The other man's eyes narrowed causing Negan to pounce on the possible sore spot.

"Oooooh I'm right." Negan drawled, swiping his tongue across his teeth hungrily and grinning. "I haven't been in here nearly long enough to develop a taste for bearded dragon but when I do, I think I could squint long enough to make it work."

The other man stared at him silently, his eyes angry and mouth in a firm line. Negan smiled wolfishly, his teeth pointy and predatory. He couldn't help but find pleasure in whatever entertainment they were stupid enough to send his way and tormenting people was his favorite pastime.

"So tell me, if I were to let you pull my pulpit would you let me out of here? You know in trade, a mouth full of grade A man meat for the key to this cell? You won't regret it, no one has before." Negan rasped, his forehead against the bars as he leered down at the shorter man with a smarmy grin. "Come on, tell me babyface. WWJD motherfucker?"

"Enjoy your internment Negan. Try not to choke on that ego huh?"

"Oh I'll make you choke on it Jeebus, everyone does at first but you'll get used to it and you'll thank me." He sneered, giving him a wink before sauntering back to his mattress. The door slammed shut, which had Negan howling with laughter.

Plopping down on his bed he stretched his long frame out with his hands behind his head. The broad smile on his face slowly faded though, as the pleasure he received while provoking people ebbed. The grief flooded back in like high tide, lapping into his every pore and filling his lungs. Squeezing his eyes shut, Negan took in a slow measured breath and let it out shakily. "Pussy." He grunted, thumping his head back into the pillow to dispel the unhelpful feelings. "Buck the fuck up motherfucker."

* * *

_Kayla POV_

It had been a long time since Kayla was conscious enough to pay attention to her surroundings. Most of her time was spent in a haze of nightmares and hallucinations. She wasn't sure what was real and what was fiction. The days passed but eventually her mind began to clear and awareness of her surroundings sifted through her sieve like mind.

She recognized a few voices but one was glaringly absent. It had her swallowing back questions. The idea of finding out Negan was gone forever too much for her to take. If he was dead, Kayla wasn't too sure she wanted to survive her injuries. If he was gone, she might just tell them to not bother. Pushing with the last bit of resolve she had to survive, Kayla croaked, "N-negan."

The room went quiet, a few murmurs not reaching her ears followed. Kayla blinked her bruised eyes and tried to see someone she recognized. When no one spoke she whimpered, "Negan."

Rick crouched in front of her, his face blurry through her spilling tears. She could barely make out his expression and his silence was disconcerting. "P-please."

"He's okay, Kay." He replied, his tone measured. "He's alive."

"W-where?" she whispered, her eyes looking around the room as if he were going to appear.

"Don't worry about that right now Kay. You need to rest."

"Where?" She insisted as best as she could, considering her fading strength.

"He's been detained Kay." Rick replied evenly, his head dipping to meet her gaze. "It would never have worked. You know this."

Kayla's mouth dropped at his confession, her eyes flicking over the other people in the room. "Why? We.. it would. It will."

"No Kay. It never would've worked. He can't be trusted. When we look at him we only see the death he caused. It won't work. My people will not forget or forgive."

Shaking her head she felt tears bubble up as her chest began to heave. She couldn't wrap her mind around his words. They'd come to an agreement. They were going to work together. She wasn't sure how they had gotten to Negan but it was obvious the other men who should've protected Negan were gone or turned traitors. Guilt compressed her chest knowing if she hadn't been taken, neither would Negan.

"You can't… we had a deal… R-rick… don't do this… d-on't… please." Kayla gasped, her heart racing at the idea of Negan being executed while she lay helpless in a bed.

"Easy, Kay." He replied, his hands reaching out to keep her from trying to rise from the mattress. Flinching away from him, she cried out when her back screamed in pain.

"Calm down. Easy. You're hurting yourself."

"Fuck you." She grunted, pushing his hands away from her while trying to rise again. "Show me… show me him. Are you gonna k-kill him?"

"You can't walk Kayla. You need to lay still, your back is injured…"

"I know all about my fucking back Rick!" she screeched, her voice cracking as her eyes squeezed shut tightly. "I was… there."

The visions crushed her chest, her hands balling up into fists and shaking violently. Panting, she squirmed away from him, her body almost falling from bed until grabbed from behind by another set of hands. Her screams rang out in the tiny room, screeching so high-pitched the other people watching covered their ears. She was animalistic, kicking and clawing at them, sobs tearing out her raw throat.

"Negan." she sobbed, her body weakening as the fight inside her fizzled to mere shakes of her head and shoulders. "N-negan. Please." Kayla wept, her body giving out completely. Once again she succumbed to darkness, this time more troubling than the last.

* * *

_Negan POV_

A month passed since Negan was locked in the jail cell and he was convinced Rick was the human form of a hemorrhoid, as he was a constant fucking pain in his ass. Rick denied him any knowledge of Kayla and the search for her. Negan had not stopped asking though, everyday he prodded the man for information but nothing broke the bastard's resolve. It was both impressive and highly irritating.

Most of the time, Rick was his only visitor but the sporadic curious lookie-loo would saunter in giving him hope of extracting information.

Two women stopped by in the afternoon, both giving him the stink eye and scowling. He was lounging against the wall, one leg out stretched and his arm lying atop his bent knee. The room was hot and humid, the summer heat making it almost intolerable. He couldn't believe Kayla had spent half a year in the shit hole. The lounge pants they gave him were stifling and his white t-shirt soaked in sweat. The lack of showers and a good beard trimming were driving him crazy.

"Well scissor me timbers, you ladies in-house entertainment? I'm always down for peach on peach."

"You're a pig." The skinny blonde hissed, stepping forward to grip the bars. "If you think Rick is going to be able to keep you alive you're an idiot."

"Oh yeah." Negan rasped, sliding to his feet with ease. He swiped his tongue across his teeth, an amused grin tugging at his lips. "You uh… you gonna come in here and  _do me in_ babycakes? Wanna make me hurt a little."

"Your time will come. He can't stop it forever and when it does, I'll be in the front row."

"You bruise me blondie. No personal touch huh?" Negan drawled leaning his forearm against the doorframe, his head dipped to peer down at her with hooded eyes. "How about you open this door and we can get to know one another? I bet I can make you enjoy life a little, untwist those fucking panties for you."

The other woman pulled the blonde away and tried to get her to leave the room. The mouthy one glared at Negan, her mouth twisting into something cruel, "I'm glad she's dead, maybe now you'll know how it feels to lose someone."

Negan's heart stopped, his breath hitching in his throat like jagged glass. His skin prickled at the statement, dread icy over his body and hardening his already blackened heart.

"Not so nice is it?" She snapped, walking up the stairs backwards as the other woman tugged her arm.

"I should cunt punch you for that, you lying bitch." He snarled, his need to suppress the utter destruction happening inside making him lash out violently.

"Oh am I? I guess you'll never fucking know!" She screeched as the door opened. Rick ushered them out with a deep scowl and harsh words. There was loud shouting outside and then Rick charged back inside.

"That bitch is lucky I'm locked up Prick, I don't hit women but I would throw a fucking haymaker to that twat's baby maker right now." Negan sneered, his hands fisting the bars. "You better fucking tell me she's full of shit Rick or else."

"What did she say?"

"Oh besides the death threats?" Negan deadpanned, "You got your hands full Pricky. I hope you're watching your scrawny ass up there, Sheriff. You've got some unrest."

"What else did she say?"

Negan ground his teeth and replied, "That Kayla is dead. So tell me Rick is that bitch a liar or did you let  _my wife_  die at the hands of those sick fucks?"

Rick itched his beard and rasped, "Maybe, maybe not."

Clenching his teeth, Negan fixed the other man with a heated glare. "I didn't take you for someone who enjoyed cruel and unusual punishment. I may be your worst fucking enemy but it's fucked up to not tell me about my wife."

"I don't believe withholding information is classified as torture." Rick drawled, climbing the stairs and throwing over his shoulder, "Thanks for looking out for me Negan. I'll keep an eye out for that… uh what did you call it... unrest?"

Negan growled angrily under his breath before retorting, "I'm looking out for my-fucking-self Prick. If someone stabs you in the back bitch, I'm a sitting duck in you're little dungeon."

* * *

_Kayla POV_

She had to get out of there and find Negan. Kayla had been slowly getting stronger and staying awake longer, her fever was gone and her head was no longer pounding. Slowly pushing her body up with shaky arms, Kayla's bare feet touched the wood floor making a shiver run down her spine. Her eyes swam with dizziness but it cleared after a few long slow breaths.

Climbing to her feet, she locked her knees as they trembled and her body screamed in pain. The healing wounds on her back stretched from shoulder to mid-back, the scabbing pulling at the new movement.

"Fuck." She grunted with every baby step to the curtain covered window, her knees knocking together like a new foal. Falling forward, Kayla clutched the heavy fabric to keep from collapsing. The curtain pulled from the rod exposing the window behind it, the town outside not what Kayla had been expecting. Her mouth dropped open as she saw the familiar tall milled pine walls, the logs circling the community known as Hilltop.

"Oh no." She gasped, her hand pressing to the glass. "No. No-n-no. This… I can't be here. Not here."

Leaning her forehead against the glass, she squeezed her eyes shut as tears began to flood them. Kayla knew that if Negan were still alive, there would be no way Rick would keep him anywhere else but Alexandria. If he was locked up in the same cell she had been, Kayla was nowhere close to seeing him, let alone freeing him.

"Damn it." She murmured, watching as people went about their business outside. They tended crops and worked in the shops, children were feeding the small animals they'd raised. She hated them, each and every one of them.

The door opened behind her but she ignored whoever entered, their footsteps quiet and measured. She tried to control her breathing but the more she thought about Negan being so far away, the harder it became to keep calm.

"You shouldn't be out of bed." A soft voice spoke behind her. "You'll hurt yourself."

Glancing over her shoulder, she saw Jesus standing with his arms crossed and mouth downturned.

Kayla clenched her teeth and replied, "Is he still alive?"

Jesus adjusted his gloves and looked away from her in thought. Kayla turned around, her hips rest against the windowsill as her legs weakened. The longhaired man stepped forward, "Let me help you back to bed."

"Is. He. Alive?" She snarled, smacking his hands away. "Tell me goddamnit."

"Yes." He muttered, his hands gently gripping her arms. "Let me get you in bed and we can talk okay?"

"I don't need to talk. Take me to him."

"I can't do that."

Kayla's breathing was elevated but now it was simmering rage that had her gasping. "This is bullshit Jesus. We had a deal, it would've worked. Why? Why are you doing this?"

Jesus got her situated and replied, "This wasn't my decision."

"So it was Rick?"

"Yes. It was Rick's decision to keep him locked up. Most did not want him to keep Negan alive."

"He's in Alexandria?"

After hesitating he must have decided to just supply her with information rather than argue. "Yes."

"Take me there."

"Unfortunately that is not something I can do."

"Then I'll fucking walk." She snapped, trying to climb to her unsteady feet.

"Easy." Jesus exclaimed, holding her wrists to keep her from rising. "Even if you could, they won't let you in without Rick's says so."

"This is fucking bullshit!" She shouted, slapping his hands away again. "This-." Her throat closed up as the total despair suddenly spiked in her chest and burned her eyes. "You can't just-.."

"I understand."

"You don't understand." She hissed, tears flowing over her cheeks. "No one fucking does and you know what else, none of you give a fuck either. Negan's just some monster to you. You don't care that I love him. You don't care that I just went through fucking hell on earth and the only fucking thing I had to hold onto was seeing him again and now he's chained up like I was. Like some animal waiting to die. You don't fucking care."

"You're right I don't care about Negan. I don't care if he's suffering. I do care that you are and I know this isn't fair to you."

"It's not about fair. We had a fucking deal. We had a truce and we would've held to it."

"We couldn't trust him."

"Since we first talked, when we called a truce to figure out how to deal with the skinwalkers, how many men of yours did Negan kill? How many Saviors killed some of yours since then? I'll answer for you. None." She ranted, pointing at him aggressively. "He wasn't going to break the fucking agreement. He doesn't go back on his word. If he says he'll do something, he'll fucking _do it_."

Jesus stared at her for a long moment before muttering, "I'm going to send a message to Rick, let him know you're feeling better."

"Yeah we'll tell him to get his fucking ass over here to pick me up or I'm hiking there. I don't care if I have to crawl on my hands and knees. You got me? Tell him unless he's chaining me up like those  _animals_  then he won't stop me from seeing my fucking husband!"

* * *

Days passed and Kayla used the time to practice walking and strengthening her leg muscles. She knew eventually she would need to leave Hilltop and head to Alexandria on her own. Rick wouldn't just give her the opportunity to see Negan, she'd have to take it. She was feeling a strange déjà vu with her imprisonment in Alexandria, the time spent working out to prepare for escape. The only difference being they were adamant about her not being a prisoner.

Finding a pair of shoes in the small closet, Kayla pulled them on despite being too large for her. Moving carefully, she opened the door and peeked outside to see the extravagant home they were keeping her in. The long hallways lined with ornate wood doors and thick Persian rugs. The walls were covered with oil paintings of foxhunts and women in royal ball gowns. She sneered at the sight feeling irritation at the former elegance and over the top decorations. It was surprising to her that she missed the utilitarian cement walls of Sanctuary and the rickety metal catwalks. She preferred the industrial space to the over the top mansion décor.

At the top of the large winding staircase, Kayla paused a moment to catch her breathe. Being unsure how her body would react to the process of climbing down the stairs she took them gently. The tugging on her back was incessant from the thick swaths of skin that were growing back after her confinement with the skinwalkers. Kayla had yet to look at it in the mirror, the woman afraid of just what she might find. If she went by how it felt healing, she was pretty confident it looked like she took a ride along the asphalt behind a vehicle rather than inside it.

"What're you doing?" a voice from downstairs asked, causing Kayla to pause on her decline. Looking up from her feet, she saw Maggie standing at the bottom of the stairs, her arms laden with a few books and what looked like blueprints.

"Building endurance." Kayla replied evenly, her eyes looking the woman over for argument.

"You should've waited for help. You could fall." Maggie replied setting the items down on a small antique sofa.

"You can't possible give a shit if I fall and break my neck." Kayla replied dryly, continuing her path downstairs. Maggie joined her, standing nearby but not touching her. Kayla could make out a frown on her lips, the woman's green eyes watching her too critically for comfort.

"Why would you think I wouldn't care? We've been providing it since you arrived."

Kayla glanced up with a scowl and replied, "I know you despise me Maggie. I'm just another fucking enemy to you people."

"That's not true. I never..." she faded off and shook her head. "At one time I saw you as part of the other side but after working with you I realized you were trying to make everything work."

"Apparently I didn't do it good enough huh?" Kayla muttered, her eyes turning icy, "I mean you all broke the truce after all. Went back on decided on terms of conduct."

Maggie sighed, her eyes leaving Kayla as the reached the ground floor. Kayla was breathing heavy, her legs feeling like jello.

"Let's get you sitting, you look unsteady."

Kayla couldn't even argue with her, which made her more than a little bent out of shape. She wasn't used to being so weak, especially in front of someone she didn't trust.

"Look I understand you are upset with Rick and how everything went down." Maggie began, her eyes flickering with something close to sorrow. Shaking her head she stared at her lap a few seconds and murmured, "You've got to understand where we are coming from. He murdered our people. He murdered my husband in front of me. He beat his head in until there was nothing left."

Kayla grimaced and ground her teeth as her stomach churned. She understood, that was the worst part. Kayla understood how they could only see Negan's past actions when they looked at him. She understood and that was why everything about the situation was so difficult. Negan was her husband and he had done horrific, unforgivable things but he was still the man she loved.

"I can't tell you I understand how you can love a man like him but I can tell you I understand how it feels to lose someone that you love." Maggie spoke, her eyes looking watery but not spilling.

Kayla sighed, rubbing her face roughly before speaking, "Negan isn't everything he wants everyone to believe. It a big fucking show to intimidate and control. I'm not defending the things he's done. There isn't an excuse I could possibly give with any honesty that justifies what he did to your family and friends."

Kayla glanced at her and continued, "I can't tell you the reasons he did them were anything but selfish mistakes. He wanted to keep hundreds of people alive and fed and he took steps that weren't appropriate and were quite frankly horrific. I won't even try to convince you of anything else. And I never saw anyone forgiving or forgetting the things he's done but I thought with everything we worked through, everything that we accomplished by working together, that we could all live in our own little worlds only to interact to trade. Negan is a man of his word. I know none of you think so, you think he's a monster out to lie and cheat and kill. In reality he just wants to keep his people alive."

"But to what lengths? Killing innocent people trying to survive?"

"Like I said, I can't excuse it. He's made mistakes."

"Mistakes are making a wrong turn, not murdering people over supplies."

"Did you or did you not kill an outpost of thirty or more people while they slept?" Kayla asked, her eyebrow raised, "Some of those people were just doing their jobs. People fixing machinery, clearing the woods of biters and scavenging for supplies."

"We did that to defend ourselves. We were told about Negan and his men. They'd already attacked some of ours on the road demanding their supplies. We knew it was a matter of time that y'all came to our doors lookin' for your cut."

"So you decided to kill the problem before it became a problem?"

"Exactly."

"How is that any different from Negan killing a few of yours to get a message across?" Kayla asked with genuine interest. "You chose to kill to protect your group. You chose to kill to prevent future problems. He did the same thing, he wanted to provide order, a system. No one is innocent anymore and I know that Negan's hands look especially bloody to everyone but he's no different from Rick. They're both strong leaders that will do anything to protect their groups. They both make the hard decisions that effect many lives and they both do the best they can when the situations arrive. Sometimes, poor judgment wins and people die."

Maggie sat with her silently for a moment before Kayla asked, "Is he going to execute him?"

"No." Maggie answered without hesitation. "Most wanted him too but he wants to prove to Negan that we can survive without his tyranny."

"He knows that already." Kayla replied, her eyes rising to Maggie's. "It was why he was working with you all. Things weren't going back as they were. We had plans for our crops, we had trips scheduled to scavenge more propagation equipment. The Saviors weren't going to show up on your doorsteps unless it was to trade fairly."

"I'm sure that was all your doing Kayla. I doubt he would've done that on his own."

"Does it matter why he was doing it or just that he was?" Kayla replied, her eyes rising to the front door as it opened. Rick sauntered inside, his eyes finding them instantly.

"You're up." He commented, joining them in the large sitting room. Kayla nodded, looking him over carefully. "I'm feeling better."

"That's good." He replied with a smile before adding, "Maggie can we use your office, me and Kayla got a lot to talk about."

* * *

_Negan POV_

Kayla was driving him fucking insane. He was convinced of it, he was going to be certifiably bananas if he wasn't careful. Negan watched her sit with that freak, his stupid fucking mouth making her laugh and smile. He hated that she was on the other side of the room, when she should've been on his arm like the other wives. The idea that she wasn't going to agree to be one of the lucky few confused the hell out of him. He could tell she wanted him, fuck he could practically taste the sweet juices that had to reside between those supple thighs. Swiping his tongue along his bottom lip he pictured what she'd look like while burying his tongue inside her tight hole.

Scrubbing his jaw he glanced at the douche bag with the microphone singing some shit about an ex girlfriend fucking Joe Schmo's cousin's brother's dog or some shit and felt a niggling of mischievousness fill him. Gesturing to the nearest Savior he rasped, "Special request, Kayla will sing next."

The guy nodded and waddled his sagging ass up to the makeshift stage and told the poor man's Dick Clark.

Staring at Kayla, Negan waited with bated breath for her reaction, the man barely able to contain a maniacal chuckle as her furious eyes landed on him.

"Sing me a song doll." He replied with a cocky grin, ticking his chin to the stage giving her no room to argue.

With a large grin he watched her stalk up to the stage like she was off to war. Snickering he listened as the eighties ballad started up but soon his throat dried up and all he could do was gawk like a kid on the short bus. When her eyes connected with his, he thought he might unload in his pants with little to no regrets.

Her voice was husky but feminine. The southern drawl she normally hid stretching her words seductively. Negan shifted in his seat as her hips dipped slightly, her weight shifted from one foot to the other. It wasn't even overtly sexy but the accentuated curve of her ass had him swallowing thickly. He wanted to peel off every single layer of clothing and devour her from the tips of her toes to the crown of her head.

There had been no other woman that he wanted so strongly. As bad as he should feel even thinking it, Negan couldn't help but acknowledge he hadn't even desired Lucille so strongly. There he was still using his wife's death to fuel his rage filled conquering of everyone and everything, while wanting someone else more than her. If given the choice between the two he wasn't too sure he would hesitate when he chose Kayla. The namesake he lugged around like an albatross was heavier and more cumbersome now that he was feeling all those feelings he didn't believe in.

It wasn't just the physical aspect he was attracted to, which was usually all he looked for, no it was more than that. She wasn't just a pair of tits and what promised to be a luscious kitty.

Kayla had depth, her pretty face and tight curves hid it well but Negan saw. He saw the soul in her and it was  _everything_. When he was with her, talking or even just sitting in the same room, there was a warmth and softness to the air. It was all her and the best part was how that inner softness was covered by thick sarcasm and a rowdy temper. Negan craved her mouth for more than just hummers, he wanted to hear every snarky word that she could come up with.

When her voice faded, the room got loud with wolf whistles and claps, Negan growling as a few of the drunker Saviors approached her. He watched her smack Billy's hand away as he flirted.

"Fucker." Negan grumbled only to snap his mouth shut as he realized Sherry was smirking at him. "The fuck are you looking at?" He sneered, the man getting defensive at exposing his jealousy.

"Why don't you just talk to her already?" She replied, surprising the man. It wasn't often he received anything but snippy whines or constant demands for more shit. "Seriously, we're tired of you sulking. It's annoying."

Negan glared at her, his eyes flicking to Kayla as it looked like her and Creep were about to leave.

"Goddamnit." Negan grumbled before sliding to his feet and striding towards the pair.

'Fuck it. Just do it.' He encouraged himself, pulling at his glove as if it were out of place. 'She's just a broad like any other broad. Give her the shit-eating grin and kiss that fucking face off her. Commence poundage.'

Shaking his head, Negan knew he was full of shit. Kayla wasn't like any other person on the planet, let alone a dumb broad. She wasn't just some slice he wanted to pillage. He wanted much, much more.

She tasted like whiskey, her tongue warm and smooth like honey. Filling his mouth and chest with lusty moans. Negan's hands dug into her hips and ribs, his fingers curling into the fabric of her jeans as he rolled his hips like a desperate fourteen year old playing seven minutes in heaven. It was as though he didn't have a bunch of wives waiting to ride his baloney pony. Well, in all honesty he hadn't fucked any of them in months, which meant he was currently in the longest streak of abstinence since he was literally fourteen fucking years old.

"Oh goddamn you taste good darlin'." He moaned as she pulled away. His mouth suddenly stripped of the only good thing it had tasted in years. Negan sucked his tongue and swallowed her taste, consumed everything he could like a dying man to water. His eyes were hooded and groin throbbing for something tight and wet.

They spoke about what she wanted and how she wanted it and soon she was grinding against his lap frantically. Everything felt amazing, overwhelming and delicious. Soon he could feel the trembles running through her arched back and rolling hips.

'Fuck she's cumming on my dick without even touching her.' He thought with a guttural groan, his eyes sliding shut in pleasure from her own.

Negan couldn't stop the whimpers escaping as his johnson screamed for release. There was absolutely no way he was going to be able to walk until he busted a nut.

When he suddenly felt warm smooth hands stroking the tightly wrapped rod in his pants, Negan thought he died and gone to heaven. He couldn't help but ask if he was dreaming because of the wanton look Kayla had as she bit her bottom lip like a flesh starved cannibal while looking at his dick.

"It might be a dream baby." She purred into the curve of his neck. "Is that okay?"

"Fuck I don't care as long as you keep stroking my dick dollface. Fuck I wanna cum in you so bad."

"I want you." She murmured, her eyes hooded and dark, her hands working him over quicker and tighter. He could feel her gasping breathes against his hot skin, her tongue tracing a line up his neck and behind his ear.

'Fuck she wants the D so bad.' He thought with a chuckle before throwing his head back.

Kayla was working him over with both hands, pulling out the most pathetic whimpers and moans ever to pass his lips. Negan knew he was pent up but the idea that just a hand job from the woman in his lap was turning him into jello was embarrassing.

'She probably thinks you're a two pump chump now man. Fuck, don't cum. Don't cum. Fuck... shitfuck. Oh fuck.' His inner monologue became just a string of expletives that were partially whispered and eventually moaned.

He was fucking fucked. He needed her, he wanted her and couldn't live without her. The feelings were overwhelming and soon the tightening of her fist became too much, pushing him over the edge with an animalistic groan. "Fucking fuck, Kaaaaay." he growled, his head thrown back and mouth lax.

Negan woke with a gasp, his clothing sweaty and sticking to his quivering body. Scrubbing his face with a groan he flopped back on his thin mattress and closed his eyes to savor the images of Kayla writhing in his lap. He often dreamt of Kayla in vulgar sexual ways but it was the first time he replayed their first sexual encounter on the Sanctuary's rooftop terrace.

His eyes filled with angry tears as he realized he might only ever have memories of her. Rolling onto his side he stared at the cell wall with a frown, his lips tingling from the imagined kisses and her soft wet tongue, his lap felt empty of her pleasant weight resting atop his dick.

"Fuck baby." He whispered with his eyes squeezed tightly shut. "Miss you darlin'. So much."


	24. Chapter 24

_Kayla POV_

Kayla sat on an armchair, her back aching from holding herself upright. Rick seemed to notice but didn't push for her to return to bed, the man recognizing the famous Walsh jaw, raised stubbornly and defiantly. She watched him with wary eyes as he paced the room before he finally spoke.

"I can't let him get away with the things that he's done, Kayla. My people and the people of Hilltop and Kingdom won't allow it." Rick drawled, his hand rubbing his beard covered cheeks in frustration.

Kayla clenched her teeth and replied, "We had an agreement Rick. You went back on that."

"I understand that but-."

"No buts!" She snapped, the sharpness in her dark gaze cutting straight through him. "You  _agreed_  that we would create borders and truces, that we would be permitted to trade fairly. Negan agreed and he would've stuck to the terms."

"I realize you believe he would and hell, maybe he would've but I couldn't risk it. I got too many people dependin' on me to keep them safe and Negan is not someone I want free to roam. He's not someone I can  _ever_ trust."

Kayla scrubbed her face and asked, "Were you going to do this anyways or did you just take advantage of my absence?"

Rick hesitated a moment, his eyes dropping heavily as he confessed, "He came and told me you were gone…. I saw the opportunity."

Kayla clenched her teeth, her eyes flooding with angry tears as her words came out strained and accusing, "So he came to you for  _help_  and you what? Attacked him?"

"I don't regret what I did Kayla." He rasped, his head bowed and his hands resting on his hips.

"I just want to know what the thought process was. He came asking for help and instead of helping you saw my absence as opportunity." She spoke slowly, her mind turning over the events and coming to a painful realization. "You didn't come looking right away did you? You went to take over Sanctuary instead?"

Rick swallowed thickly and sat down in front of her, his elbows pressed into his knees. She could see guilt flood his body, the man she grew up with looking at her with something close to devastating shame.

"I regret using time to take down Sanctuary instead of heading out immediately. It's something… It's something I'll regret for the rest of my life but I don't regret containing him."

Kayla's hands shook as she thought about all the torture she was put through while no one was even looking for her. "How long did you wait before you started looking?"

Rick's gaze stayed on her, the man having enough respect for her to meet her eyes while confessing his transgressions. "It took a day to get started on tracking the herd they took with them."

"How long was it until Negan came to you for help?"

"They'd been stuck for two days with the herd surrounding them."

"I don't even know how long ago it was." she muttered, her gaze going to the large window and the crops beyond it but she was no longer seeing the green stalks of corn. Kayla saw metal walls lined with bodies and heard the echoes of terrifying screams and guttural cries of pain.

"It took us a three days to find you and another to get inside their new compound. They had you for seven days and it's been a month since you were taken." Rick replied before leaning towards her, his blue eyes looking genuinely sorrowful. "I'm sorry for what happened Kay. I will never forgive myself for it and I don't ever expect you to forgive me for it. I'm sorry we didn't get to you sooner but I'm not sorry for what I did to Negan."

"You hurt him?" she asked her eyes returning to Rick to see him nod stiffly, his fists clenching slightly as if recalling the incident.

"He was injured but has recovered completely. Nothing permanent."

"Does he know you found me?" she asked, the sudden thought of him being stuck in a cage with no knowledge of what was happening made her chest cinch up.

"He doesn't know anything." Rick replied evenly, his hand raising as she opened her mouth to argue. "I think it is the appropriate course of action Kay. Seclusion from the outside world is far from cruel. Truthfully it's pretty standard when it comes to incarceration."

"Maybe in normal circumstances Rick but he's under the impression I'm either dead or being tortured still. It's not right. It's fucking cruel."

Sighing he looked away, his hands folded and hanging between his knees as he avoided her glare.

Kayla stared at him as he thought over what he wanted to say. She began working through the best course of action to get what she wanted. Seeing Negan was priority, she needed to figure out a way to get Rick to let her see Negan. Freeing him could wait but leaving him suffering without knowing, was too cruel in her mind. She couldn't imagine what he would be thinking after so long, a month sitting in a metal box not knowing if Kayla were alive or not. It was bad enough for Kayla to worry about Negan's health while knowing exactly where he was, she couldn't imagine the pain of not knowing if he were alive or not.

'Fuckers.' She growled inwardly, her fists clenching in rage. Stuffing it down for the sake of getting what she needed, Kayla looked up when he spoke.

"How can you look past what he's done?" Rick asked, confusion plain as day on his face but also a desire to understand. Leaning forward he watched her sigh and shake her head.

"People aren't one dimensional Rick. He's not just some vile monster. He's a man who had a normal life before all this. He had a job and a wife dying of cancer. Before the dead started walking, his life was already falling apart and when she died at the beginning, he found out real quick that we were all doomed to become cannibalistic freaks. Can you imagine grieving for your wife as she withered away for months and then to see her turn into something so horrible? To have to kill her after just watching her die a terribly painful death?"

Rick seemed to be affected by the information, his face stricken yet he still tried to blow it off by claiming, "We've all lost Kay. Not everyone turns into what he is."

"What he is, is someone who broke way before any of this shit happened and he did the best he could to put himself back together in this shitty world. He took responsibility for hundreds of people. Yes, he took advantage of that power, he became selfish and controlling because it was the easiest way to keep himself from being destroyed again. But he wanted to give people order, he wanted them to not give up and his methods did leave much to be desired but Rick… you of all people know that at times, our humanity is a sacrifice that needs to be made in this world and sometimes it spins us out of control."

Kayla adjusted herself as her back throbbed, her pain medication wearing off and making her uncomfortable. She needed to keep going though because she could still see the disbelief and hesitation but also a glimmer of sympathy. Kayla knew Rick was at heart an honorable man, someone who had always empathized with others. Between her brother and him, Rick was the calmer partner. He was the one talking down tweekers and breaking up domestic disputes with words rather than fists. Shane was an amazing officer but he was also a hothead who leaned on physical restraint rather than peaceful mediation. She just needed to keep pushing Rick in the direction of allowing her to see Negan.

"He was wrong, the things he did were wrong but they were fueled by a desire to bring some kind of order to a world of chaos. If he could be the face of fear and hate, he could force people to keep surviving. It was a free for all and with him taking the reigns, causing them to fear what would happen if they broke the rules, they put their heads down and got shit done. He sacrificed his feelings and humanity to keep people from tearing each other apart, Rick. He took it too far by wanting everything and everyone under his control. He's fucked up. But he was seeing the light when all this started. He wasn't going to go back on his word. I promise you."

The room was quiet for a moment as the words sunk into the ex sheriff deputy. Kayla watched him intently hoping what she said had explained more about her husband.

Sighing, Rick rubbed his eyes roughly and peered over at her with an exhaustion framing his mouth. "I know you want to see him but I'm not sure I can allow it."

"I get that you hate him but…" Kayla choked on the words, her watery eyes flicking away as she continued, "I need him Rick. After everything… I need to see him. You shouldn't keep him in the dark like this but if you can't do this for him, do it for me."

She could see the war going on in his mind, the man arguing both sides of the issue but as he took in her tear covered cheeks and trembling hands he seemed to come to a resolution.

"Not until you're healed."

"That won't be for a really long time Rick and I need to see him. I can't… I can't sleep, I can't eat. Every time I close my eyes I see… I just.. He's my husband Rick. You've got to understand this even as much as you hate him." She faded off her eyes closing tightly as the tears kept coming. "I need to see him, Rick."

Sighing he stood up and wander to the window, his eyes distant and thoughtful. "I will take you back to Alexandria tomorrow morning. You will get to see him but it will be supervised and you won't go in his cell. I can't promise anything more than that."

Kayla struggled to her feet, Rick meeting her half way as she gripped the arm holding her upright. "Thank you."

"Don't thank me yet, I'm not sure how everyone is going to react." Rick replied gruffly, his eyes concerned and mouth scowled.

"I understand." She replied, wiping her face of tears and sniffing. "I just need to see him."

"We'll leave at dawn. Let me help you back to your room, you look exhausted." He spoke softly, his hands guiding her out of the room and towards the staircase.

"Just say what you mean Rick." She rasped tiredly, her eyes drooping. "I look like warmed over dog shit."

Rick's gruff laugh had her smiling softly, she had missed her surrogate brother. They slowly made their way upstairs and as he got her settled he confessed, "When you were sick, you talked to me about Shane. Well you thought I was Shane."

Kayla swallowed thickly, her memories of the feverish days that plagued her were blurry at best but some were clearer than others. She did remember speaking to Shane, or whom she thought was her deceased brother.

"I remember some of it. Hopefully nothing too embarrassing. " She replied while her eyes focused on her lap. Rick pulled a chair up to the side of the bed and offered, "Nothin' embarrassing but you did say a few things…" Rick trailed off, his fingers drumming on the chair's arm. "You uh… ya talked about feelin' guilt for not bein' there when… when I killed Shane."

Kayla's eyes filled as she looked away from him, a knot forming in her throat as she confronted her feelings about her brother's death. "If I'd been there, he wouldn't have gotten so turned around. I would've been able to reign him in."

"You can't blame yourself. Blame me, blame circumstance but don't blame yourself." He drawled, sitting forward to take her hand, his head cocking to the side as he searched for the words. "I know you'll never forgive me for that, hell I won't ever forgive myself either. I wish shit were different. And now… I know I've fucked up even further…" his eyes closed as he seemed to choke back thick emotions. Kayla felt a tug in her chest at the sight. She ached to comfort him, a long learned instinct to care for her brother.

"I'm sorry." Rick rasped, his gaze watery and shoulders rolled forward. "For what I did… for what they did… when I found ya-."

Kayla clenched her jaw and felt her chest fracture in pain, a crippling agony tearing through her curling frame.

"I'm so damn sorry Kayla. I can't ever make that up to you."

"You can." She whispered, her cheeks wet and eyes meaningful. She looked at him with such desperation and repeated emphatically. "You  _can."_

A resignation settled in his frame, his jaw tightening and eyes creasing as he thought over her words. She kept her dark eyes glued to his, while he contemplated her implication. Instead of responding he cleared his throat and seemed to wipe his mind.

"Rest. I'll see you in the morning." He drawled, leaning forward to squeeze her hand. Kayla pulled him closer, wrapping an arm around his shoulder and accepting a gentle hug.

"G'night Kay."

"Night Rick."

* * *

_Negan POV_

Pacing in a circle, Negan stretched his arms out after doing push ups until exhaustion. Boredom and anger were making him stir crazy, the man exercising to expel the frustration. Sighing deeply, he sat down on his bed and tried to push away the eerie feelings that crept up that morning. Negan wasn't sure what it was but he felt more unsettled than the days before. He chewed his lip in thought, trying to pinpoint what the feeling was but couldn't grasp it.

"Cracking the motherfucking up." He grumbled, scratching his overly grown beard. "Stop being a pussy, Pussy."

Closing his eyes, he let his mind wander to something pleasant, Kayla floating to the surface instantly. Negan smirked as he pictured the evening she spent recovering after the car accident. They'd watched movies and ate snacks arguing about the likelihood she could scale a ten-foot fence once healed.

Rolling his eyes at the memory, he picked at the block wall, a little divot in the surface obvious work of the previous inmate. Frowning at the thought he looked away and pictured her lying next to him, her laugh raspy yet feminine. He thought about the soft arch in her neck when she threw her head back at something especially funny. She was the most stubborn, hard headed, fiery woman he'd ever met. Kayla was strong willed and fierce, she could survive a lot. He knew she felt weakness and that her anxiety could get in the way during some situations but she always survived.

Negan rubbed his lips in thought, his mind going over everything Rick or his other visitors had said to see if they'd slipped up and he'd missed it. He picked apart not only their words but also their gestures. The blonde had been too adamant about shoving his face in Kayla's possible death. She was desperate to make him hurt. 'Lying bitch.' He muttered, a gut feeling telling him Kayla was alive.

It was comforting feeling but he was still left lacking, he wanted to know if they had found her yet or if she was injured.

'Please let her be okay.' He murmured inwardly, his eyes closing heavily. 'It's all I need. Her okay and me to know that she is.'

Raised voices outside had his ears perking up, Negan could make out shouts of anger or frustration. Sitting up slowly, he cocked his head to the side trying to hear the specifics but couldn't understand the hollers. Climbing to his bare feet, Negan strolled to the gate, his forearms resting on the bars as he peered up the staircase. Heavy feet stomped up the front steps and as the door slide open, Negan's breath caught in his throat like jagged glass. His chest felt as if it were cracked open and his legs almost buckled. The only thing holding him upright was the wild gaze immobilizing him, making him cling to the bars desperately. Kayla was either alive and staring at him or he had truly lost his fucking mind.

* * *

_Kayla POV_

Kayla stood at the top of the short staircase leading into the jail cell looking down at her husband. Negan stood in front of the bars, his large hands wrapped around them with tight, white knuckles. His hair was longer and messy, the man obviously not given access to a shower in awhile. The normally groomed beard had grown long and filled with more gray than before, making him look years older than the last time she saw him.

Her chest was heaving, the pounding in her skull making her deaf to the outside world. She sensed a voice nearby speaking but the only thing she heard was the thud of her over-worked heart.

Stumbling down the stairs with little grace, Kayla reached the metal gate and clutched his hands. She pressed her face in between the bars as Negan stepped forward, the small gap large enough to feel the heat of his chest against her forehead.

Negan's hands released the gate, his long arms sliding through the metal bars to wrap around her body. One hand cupped the back of her head while the other gripped her waist. She grunted in pain as he pressed into her healing wound but didn't allow him to pull away.

"I thought-.." he choked, his throat closing up as he smashed his nose into the crown of her head. She inhaled deeply, sucking in his familiar scent to calm the shaking nerves rattling her bones. Kayla had never realized just how dependent she had become to his scent and warmth.

"Fuck, Kay. I thought you were dead. They wouldn't tell me-..." a sob tore from his throat before he forced it down, his arms squeezing her even tighter. Kayla gripped the back of his shirt, her own cries echoing in the cement room, the pain in her chest exceeding the ache of her back.

"I'm sorry I didn't get here sooner." She murmured after her tears slowed and pulled back she explained, "I was sick for weeks. I wasn't even awake. It's taken a long time to get my strength back to walk around."

"Shit Doll. You need to lie down. Go back to bed sweetheart."

Shaking her head but then sitting on the ground to rest, her shoulder pressed into the bars. Negan joined her, his hands reaching through to cup her face and hold her hand. His eyes slid shut as he ground his temple into the bar. "I'm so happy you're ok." He rasped, his voice barely audible as his dark eyes slid open to gaze down at her.

"I'm glad you are too. I'm gonna figure this out." She whispered, knowing Rick had to be listening to them at the top of the stairs.

"I don't give a fuck, as long as you're okay. Fuck. You have no idea how close I've been to losing my shit, like hanging from the rafters if there were rafters. I can take being in this fucking cage if it means you're alive."

Kayla shook her head making his fingers brushing across her pale, scarred cheek. "Then you're gonna have a roommate because I'm not living up there while you're locked in a goddamn box. I know what it's like in this fucking hole. It's not happening."

"Sorry doll. I don't think you have any say in this shit. Rick has a hard on for keeping me alive so I can learn my lesson like a good little boy."

Kayla kissed the warm, rough skin on the heel of his palm. "I will figure this out."

They stared at each other silently, Kayla watching his glassy eyes. She felt her chest ache with such intensity she had to stop herself from rubbing her breastbone.

"I love you so goddamn much." He rasped, kissing her forehead and nose until reaching her lips. It was awkward through the bars but she let her lips and tongue taste the familiar soft mouth.

"I love you." She murmured as they slowed to a crawl. Their lips resting a hairs breadth away for what felt like hours. Negan gently combed hair from her face and asked quietly, "What did they do to you?"

Kayla's eyes closed tightly as visions of her stay with the skinwalkers inundated her. Slowly she opened them, her gaze on the large tan hand holding her much smaller one. His thumb was brushing across the top of her wrist, the sensation making her heart slow and mind calm.

"They kept me in room, an old m-eat locker..." she started, her voice catching on the word. "The hooks all had people on them. Just hanging there... alive."

Her wide eyes rose to see the darkness swallowing his already pitch colored eyes.

"They were skinning them.. strip by strip."

Blinking through the tears she paused for a few seconds to figure out what she wanted to tell him. Negan made the decision for her by demanding, "Tell me it all Kay. No lies remember."

Nodding she reached through and touched his face, the normally short beard now taking over his handsome face. "You need a shave baby."

"Don't change the subject, doll. You know that shit doesn't work on me."

Sighing she began to tell him all they did, what she remembered of it anyways. "I was lucky. I didn't get put up on a hook. They'd run out. I saw people… from Sanctuary and here. Watched them… d-die."

Negan gave her a questioning look but didn't ask whom she saw, his hand tightening instead.

"They didn't do much at first. Got hit and kicked, the usual. Then, when I got weaker from lack of food and water they put me on the t-table." She squeezed her eyes closed, tears escaping the corners despite her struggle to contain them.

"I got you." Negan rasped as his breathing sped up and his grip tightening. His hand threaded into the back of her hair, pulling her as close as they could get between the bars. His lips rest on her sweaty temple as she spoke softly.

"I was always on my stomach. They wanted my back. I'd scream and it was so loud…the metal walls echoing... I blacked out a lot but even then I could feel it... the peeling and t-tugging."

Negan was panting, his throat repeatedly swallowing the rage as sobs escaped from her own. She clawed at his chest and arms trying to get closer.

"They.. they were going to take it all but then they came... l don't remember being rescued really.. Just waking up when they took me off the table. After that everything's blurry."

"How bad?"

Kayla pulled back to ask what he was talking about when she felt his hand stroked her back. She grimaced as he hit the deepest and most sensitive spot on her shoulder blade. "I haven't looked at it yet... I'm scared... but it's pretty much my whole right shoulder to mid back."

"Jesus." He gasped, pressing his head into the gate, as his hand lay gently on the injured side. She knew he could feel the gauze covering it now that he knew where it was.

"It's better than it was and the infection is gone. It hurts though and itches."

"They're giving you medical care right?"

"I wouldn't be alive right now if they hadn't."

Nodding slowly, Negan pressed his face into the bars so his lips rest on her temple again. Her eyes slid shut at the feeling of him so close, his warm breath against her skin.

"I've missed you so goddamn much Kay." He murmured, his lips brushing across her skin. "Didn't think-..."

His words faded as he swallowed thickly, his eyes clenching shut as his fingers tightened in her hair. Kayla tipped her face up and touched his scruffy cheek. "I'm here now and I'm not leaving."

"Will they let you live here?"

"I don't know but I'll figure this out okay."

"The only thing I care about is that you're fucking alive and not hurting. That's all I fucking need."

"I need you." She wept, her fingers clutching his t-shirt. "I fucking... I can't deal with... I can't do this without you. I can't do it. I'm not strong enough."

"You're the strongest person I know Kayla. No one else would've lasted in that place. Fucking  _no one_. You can survive not having my dumb ass in your life."

"Bullshit." She snapped, her eyes blazing. "You are my husband. I love you and I'm not letting you rot in this shithole."

"It really is a shit hole isn't it? How the fuck did you not go bananas in here. It's so damn boring."

Kayla huffed out a laugh. "You saw me when I got out. All I did was work out and count cinderblocks."

"Four hundred and forty five." He replied with a wide grin, the sight painfully familiar. She'd missed him more than she could put into words. Kayla laughed and quipped, "You forgot the small ones above the window. It's four hundred and forty eight."

Negan looked over at the window and hummed, "well fuck. I did, didn't I?"

* * *

"You can't do this." She growled, her fists clenched and back stiff. The healing skin twitched and shuddered in pain, her body coiled tight. "You can't."

"I have to Kay. It's this or death."

"Lock me up with him then." Kayla offered desperately, her eyes watery.

"No."

"Then fucking execute both of us because I'm not letting him rot in a fucking cell."

Rick sighed, scrubbing his face as he muttered, "That's not happening either."

"Then let us go." She begged, her eyes spilling over, "We'll just go. You'll never see us again. I swear. I'll.. I'll keep him from coming back."

"I can't do that Kayla. No one will stand for it."

"Don't do this to me again." Kayla whispered, her voice shaking at the idea that the only person she trusted being taken from her, just like Shane. "Don't take all I got again. He's all I got."

Rick's face tensed, his jaw working as he ground his teeth. She bowed her face into her palms and suppressed the sobs trying to escape. Her whole body was trembling and she could feel her knees close to giving out.

"Kay." Rick's voice came closer than before, his hand cupping her shoulder. "Look at me Kay."

"I c-can't lose him too Rick. I… after everything in that room… I can't do this, not without him. I can't. I can't." She was gasping at a panic attack began to take control, the words choked out and sputtered. "Not after.. them.. I won't survive… I can't. Don't take him, please don't take him from me too."

Rick's throat bobbed and she could see tears shimmering in his eyes at her pleas. Kayla felt a spark of hope ignite in her chest, the man's adamancy of caging Negan for the rest of his life wavering slightly.

"I know you want him to pay for his crimes and I know that he deserves it." She began carefully, treading lightly in order to find a way to fix everything. "I know as an officer you saw your fair share of repeat offenders but Negan won't be one Rick."

"You can't guarantee that." He grunted, shaking his head and looking away from her.

"I can." Kayla insisted, her fists tightening at the urge to throttle him to make him understand.

"How?"

"We'll leave. We'll find our own way, out there."

"That would be punishing you not him."

"Keeping him confined or executing him is punishing me also. I need him in my life. I love him." She replied her eyes filling at the thought of watching them put him down. "You know as well as I do how hard it is to live out there. Exile from all of neighboring communities is essentially sentencing him to possible death."

"That's why I don't want that because you'd go with him."

"I'd rather be out there scraping by with my husband than watching him in a cage or shot down by one of your group. You know they won't leave him in there for long. There will be a day when you go down there to find him dead."

Rick was silent for a long moment giving Kayla a little more hope for the situation.

"Exile won't be enough for my people." Rick replied with a sigh, scrubbing his beard. "I don't want that for you either."

"I can't lose him Rick." Her voice cracked and her eyes burned. "I need him. I know you hate him, I know you don't understand how I can love someone like him but I do and that won't ever change."

Rick watched as she wiped her eyes roughly, her gaze not meeting his as dread filled the room as well as silence. She chewed her cheek and glanced at him as he stood and paced a few times.

"Where would you go?"

Kayla's breath caught and she reached for some kind of plan that might help him decide. "Far away. West probably. North will be too cold and there never seemed to be much in the south."

"How would you feed yourself? Scavenging will be difficult in large areas without stores and homes. I can't send you out to your death and I don't want to inflict Negan on whatever populace there is out there."

"We will find a way and you know I won't allow him to become what he was." Kayla declared, her eyes mind desperately holding onto the hope that began to settle in her heart, "You know I was working so fucking hard to make this work. You know I never approved of his behavior."

"You actually think you can control a man like that Kay?" He asked with a raised brow, his head cocking to the side as though looking for the truth in her eyes.

"He loves me Rick." She replied, her words genuine and honest. "He'll do what he has to, to keep me and I won't allow him to kill indiscriminately." Truthfully Kayla wasn't too sure she could but knew she would try.

Silence took over again as he contemplated her ideas, the man surprisingly thinking them over seriously. After a few minutes he rasped, "I'd like to think about it and talk to the other communities."

"Okay." She spoke quietly her eyes blurring. "Thank you Rick."

"I don't want to send you out there Kay. It's not what I ever wanted when you came here. I only ever wanted to keep you safe. I failed you in more ways than acceptable, I know that."

"I can't be angry with you anymore, Rick. I don't want to be. It's not worth the effort and it's a waste of time. I just want... I just want to be able to live and I won't be able to do that without him."

Rick sighed heavily and nodded his head once. "Go get some rest. You're still healing."

"May I see him again?"

"I'd prefer you not for now. I don't want you informing him of this discussion yet."

Nodding she wrung her hands and asked, "are you sure he's safe in there?"

"I have guards enlisted, people that won't go against my orders."

"Okay." She murmured, "thank you."

"You don't need to thank me."

"I do."

Giving her another nod, he gestured to the stairs. "You can use Carl's room to rest. He won't mind."

Climbing to her feet with a grimace she excepted Rick's help up the stairs, the exercise of the day catching up to her. Once seated, he left the room and returned with a bottle of water and a couple pain pills.

"I'll wake you up for dinner a'right?"

Nodding Kayla kicked her boots off and said, "If it's okay with your family."

"You're family too Kayla."

Chewing her lip she gave him a stiff nod and muttered, "okay."

* * *

_Negan POV_

Negan waited for Kayla to leave and the sun to set before he broke down into a hot mess of tears and choking sobs. She was alive. She'd been tortured in ways that made his chest collapse in on itself but she was alive. He wasn't sure anything would ever top the feeling of seeing her walk through that door, maybe if he ever got to touch her without a metal gate between them. Kayla was pale and thin, too much weight having fallen off her already petite frame. Her body seemed frail, her walk down the stairs wobbly and unsure but she was still beautiful. The determination in her eyes when she told him she would figure everything out had him actually believing her. Negan hoped she could pull it off but if not he would be satisfied with her being alive and well. He'd prayed for it and promised whatever being that listened, he would be satisfied and he'd stick to it.

She would need to just survive without him. Kayla could do it, Negan was positive, he just wasn't too sure he could survive without her. It was obvious he had become dependent on her, his chest aching even more now that he knew she was just steps away from him.

Wiping his face with the front of his shirt, Negan sat with his knees up and arms resting on top. He was staring at his lap when the home's door opened again. Instantly looking up, Negan almost expecting Kayla to be there to break him out, only to find Rick approaching.

"Is she okay?" Negan asked standing up instantly, his hands flexing anxiously. Rick stared at him for a moment before answering, "Yeah, tired but I got her to eat finally and she's resting now."

Negan nodded, his hand raking through his too long hair while approaching the gate. "I uh… appreciate you letting her come here." He spoke while swallowing down his desire to rail into the man for being such a prick.

"She wouldn't take no for an answer." Rick replied, crossing his arms but his lip twitching in amusement. Negan barked out a laugh and looked at the tiny window seeing a full moon. "Yeah she uh.. doesn't fucking take shit from anyone does she?"

"No. It's a Walsh trait." He replied with affection, before looking away from him.

"So what're you gonna do Rick?" Negan asked, leaning against barred gate, "You keeping me in here while Kayla is up there? Or you gonna bite the bullet and put me down? Because you and I both know she isn't going to rest until she gets what she wants."

"I'm not letting you go and I'm not executing you."

"So she'll just what? Visit me once in awhile? Come on man. You know that shit won't work besides how long until some dumbass comes in here to take a shot at me?" Negan replied, his eyebrows rose expectantly, "you think she'll handle that well?"

"We'll work something out but you aren't getting away with what you've done, I won't let you."

"How very fuckin' noble of you Rick. Tell me, while riding that high horse, how many poor schmucks have you killed? How many people that could've just been normal everyday fucks out to buy a fuck from the fuck store? You aren't innocent my friend. No indeedy. No one's hands are clean so let's not be fucking hypocrites."

"I'm not like you."

"Whatever, Prick. Did you tell her that while she was being tortured, you were claiming my throne? Taking my shit for your own? Sacrificing her for the greater good?"

Rick's throat bobbed and his eyes dropped away. Negan sneered at the sight and asked, "What'd she say to that huh?"

"It's none of your business." Rick snapped, his eyes livid. "I don't need to explain shit to you Negan."

"No but you do need to explain it to her and I guaran-fucking-tee she won't be satisfied by your bullshit excuses of the greater good." Negan sneered back, his hands fisting the metal bars. "She isn't going to care because in reality  _you_  are the one who broke the rules, not me."

"You would've eventually."

Negan shrugged a broad shoulder and muttered, "Maybe, maybe not but we'll never know now, will we? You fucked that all up Pricky. Now what are you going to do?"

Shaking his head Rick glanced at the front door and muttered, "I'll be back in the morning with your breakfast. Don't try anything stupid."

Negan huffed out a dry laugh and watched the man exit the home without another word. "You try not to do anything stupid, fucker." He grunted before lying down on the thin mattress.

Lying on his back, he stared at the ceiling and pretended that she was just above him in a soft bed. She'd be in one of his large t-shirts, the cotton swallowing her body deliciously. One shoulder was always peeking out of the collar as it hung loosely on her, the hem hitting her thighs. Negan loved her in his clothes as much as he complained about it, the sight always making him feel as if he was claiming her.

For the first time in a month he felt himself stiffen at the thought of her. Before knowing if she were alive, Negan couldn't even get hard thinking about their times together. It seemed as if losing her had broken him but now that Kayla was a few houses away, his body awakened. Closing his eyes he imagined her straddling his body, her supple thighs pressing into his hips and hands resting on his broad chest. She would stare down at him, her hair brushing across her bare nipples. Groaning at the image, Negan's cock ached under the loose cotton pants. She was always so lovely, her lips parted as little gasps escaped from her moaning mouth. His hands would slide against her silky skin, curling into the meat of her ass and hips as she ground against his lap.

"Fuck doll." He whispered, his hands slowly sliding into his pants for the first time in a month. The heavy weight of his dick in his hand had him groaning deeply, the visions of Kayla's petite hand circling the throbbing flesh made his eyes clench shut. "Kay." He murmured as his strokes started out slow and tight. "Babygirl."

Negan would whisper dirty things to her, his lips and tongue waxing poetic filth that had her squirming and moaning erotically. His hand moved smooth and quick but soon as he pictured the way her mouth looked wrapped around it, had his strokes become uncoordinated. Her pink lips would stretch seductively around his cock, the skin shiny and wet as it slid along his aching flesh. The woman would let him sink into her throat and thrust into her mouth, Negan never knowing how she could take it all but thanking god and heaven above for it.

With gasping breaths and a sweaty brow, Negan sped up his pumping hand and began thrusting his hips from the mattress. Biting his lip and growling deeply, his orgasm crashed over him as he thought about shooting down Kayla's silky throat. Her fingers would claw into his thighs, her wide lusty gaze fixed onto his face as he broke into pieces for her.

"Fuck doll." He grunted, his hand still stroking himself through the pleasurable pulses. Cleaning himself up with his dirty t-shirt, Negan tossed it aside and lay bare-chested on his lumpy mattress. He sighed loudly, scrubbing his face of sweat and felt himself relax for the first time since being put inside the cell. Exhaustion hit him hard, the man realizing that any sleep he had gotten before hadn't been restful. Now that Kayla was safe and sound, Negan let his eyes close feeling that for the first time in a month that he might be able to sleep without fear of never seeing her again.


	25. Chapter 25

* * *

"You know what I realized?" Negan murmured, his shoulder resting against the gate as she sat facing him, their fingers woven together despite his guard's displeasure.

"Hmm?" She replied, peering up at his freshly groomed face. The almost shy smile he gave her had Kayla's eyebrow rising in curiosity.

"We never got married." He replied, stroking her wrist gently. "All the others got a ceremony."

Snorting obnoxiously, Kayla deadpanned, "Oh whoa is me, I never got my white wedding. Whatever will I do to survive such a fucking atrocity? Nothing's ever disappointed me more."

Negan barked out a loud laugh, his fingers gripping hers tighter. "Jesus, you crack me the fuck up."

"What can I say, I was born with comedic timing."

"That and a killer rack."

"Technically that was sixth grade but yes, I have nice tits."

"Damn you had those sweater puppies in elementary school? Fucking feel bad for Shane. He was probably beating the fuck out of dudes everyday and twice on Sunday."

Kayla laughed, her eyes rising to his with admiration. The fact that he could know how Shane would've taken a situation, without him having ever known the man, meant Negan listened when she spoke. Not just listened but understood and fucking remembered.

"I love you Negan. I don't need the dog and pony show." She spoke openly, dropping the sarcasm to express herself honestly. "Your more than my husband anyway. You're my partner in this fucked up crazy world. Being husband back in the day was bringing home a paycheck and occasionally picking up the milk. Being a partner in this world means not only living for each other but dying too. I love you. I'm yours and you're mine. That's all I need."

Negan's hand rose to cup her cheek, his calloused thumb brushing across the subtle curve of her bottom lip. "I don't deserve you. You're-." His voice became hoarse making him stop and clear the emotions from his throat. Leaning forward he pressed his forehead to hers through the bars and rasped quietly for her ears only, "You are the love of my life, Kay. There's only you. What I thought I felt before isn't what I feel with you, not. even. close... you're fucking mine and you sure as hell own my ass."

Kayla tipped her face up and pressed her lips into his. Negan's fingers curled into her hair, pulling her firmly against the bars. A throat cleared behind her, making Negan growl deeply while continuing to ravish her mouth.

"C'mon Kay. Times up." Rick drawled, stepping forward as if to separate them.

"Don't fucking touch her." Negan sneered, his hand cupping her head. "Can you stop being such a fucking prick for once?"

"Kayla." Rick spoke firmly, ignoring the man's questions. She laid her hand on Negan's cheek, turning his angry glare back to her soft gaze. "It's okay. I've got to go anyways. I have a play date with Judith."

"Oh yeah?" Negan murmured, his eyes relaxing instantly as a smile tugged at his lips. "That's great doll. You have fun and give that angel a kiss from her uncle Negan."

Kayla rolled her eyes at his obvious jab towards Rick and replied, "I will tell you all about it tomorrow."

"You can't visit tomorrow." Rick announced, his arms crossed. "I won't be able to escort you."

"So have some other poor sap do it." Kayla snapped, climbing to her feet awkwardly as her back pulled tight. She felt Negan staring at the obvious pain she was still in but focused on Rick.

"I don't trust anyone else."

"Rick I'm not going to do anything to jeopardize his life." She spoke genuinely. "If you're thinking I'm going to try and break him out, you're wrong. I'm not near healthy enough to pull that shit off and if I fail he's dead. Not one of those fuckers up there will hesitate."

Negan's hand touched her lower back as she rested against the barrier. Rick scrubbed his face and muttered, "We'll talk more later a'right? Now come on I got shit to do."

Turning around Kayla kissed Negan softly, his large hands framing her face gently. Pulling back his shining eyes peered down at her as he rasped, "Be safe up there."

"I am."

"And rest for fucksakes. I can tell you're hurting. Get some pain meds, doll."

"You know how I feel about that."

Negan growled lowly, the man remembering her previous assault while under the influence. "Is she safe up there, Prick? Because she needs her meds and she won't take them if she doesn't feel safe."

"Why?"

"Not your fucking business." He snapped, pointing a sharp finger at him. "You make sure whoever is with her isn't going to hurt her."

"No one wants to hurt her. Most of them understand the work you put into helping, Kayla. Some aren't forgiving but no one has expressed the desire to hurt you."

Rolling his eyes, Negan drawled, "well just because I'm not talking about how I want to cut your balls off and shove them up your London tunnel doesn't mean I don't want to do it. Because fuck me sideways, if I don't."

Rick grumbled irritably, obviously tired of Negan's mouth, "It's time Kay. Now."

"Okay." She sighed, kissing Negan chastely before climbing the stairs slowly. Rick having noticed her difficulty, braced her by the elbow the rest of the way.

"Sweet dreams dollface." Negan called out, "I'll think about you when I rub one out tonight."

Kayla laughed as she reached the door, turning back around she replied, "Likewise baby."

"You dirty little tease." He bellowed as the door shut behind her.

* * *

Judith babbled through a picture book, her pudgy finger pointing out animals. Kayla smirked at her while sitting on the large sofa in Rick's living room. They'd had lunch together while she babysat, the two spending extended time together for the first time. The longer she spent with Judith, the more she saw Lori and Shane. The tiny feminine nose purely her mother, while the wrinkled brow and scowl when upset screamed Shane.

"That's a dog." She pointed at the Dalmatian as Judith was smacked the book. "What's a doggy say?"

The girl made a cute barking noise while Kayla laughed. The front door opening had her throat tightening, as Carl and his girlfriend Enid walked in holding hands. Kayla's eyes dropped to Enid's other wrist, the severed appendage wrapped in a black bandana and secured with a leather cuff. Clenching her teeth she moved her gaze to Judith before speaking. "Hey."

"Hey Kay." Carl greeted, coming into the living room to see his sister. "You reading Judy?"

"She's telling me what animals say."

"Her favorites the moo moo." Carl said with a grin, sitting down on the ground with Judith. Kayla chewed her cheek a moment, her eyes pulled to the girl's blunt ended wrist as guilt flooded her chest.

"I don't blame you." The girl's voice snapped Kayla's eyes to hers. "You saved my life that day."

"I got you mutilated." Kayla muttered, her heavy gaze meeting the teen's placcid eyes.

Enid shrugged, her remaining hand fiddling with the leather cuff. "He was going to kill me. I lost a hand but... I'm still here because of you."

Shaking her head, Kayla didn't reply. She didn't want any credit for that event. It had been horrifying no matter how one looked at it.

"Did you see him today?" Carl asked, his eyes angry and mouth scowled.

"Yes." Kayla replied, handing Judith a set of toy plastic keys.

"How can you look at him and not see what he's done?" Carl asked with a furrowed brow, the new eye patch he wore covering the empty socket moving a bit from the gesture.

"I do see what he's done." Kayla admitted, her eyes rising to the confused teen. "I see him saving my life countless times, I see him fighting for our lives, fighting for yours against the skinwalkers. I see the man I love. I told your dad the same thing. Negan isn't just one-dimensional. He has other sides you don't see because he doesn't want you to. I look at him and I see my husband, Carl."

"He had five others wives Kay!" The teen exclaimed, his hands thrown up. "He doesn't give a shit about you."

"Carl, no offense but shut the fuck up." Kayla drawled, her eyes narrowing. "I'm not discussing this with you because you'll never understand." Kayla knew no one else would ever understand. Negan had achieved what he always wanted, infamy.

The room was quiet until Enid asked, "Have you had lunch yet Kayla?"

Glancing at the girl, she swallowed down the anxiety of the entire situation and answered. "No I haven't."

* * *

Kayla sat on the sofa as Rick stood nearby with Jesus, both men looking nervous.

"What the hell is going on?" Kayla asked while sitting on the edge of the cushion. She wasn't sure where Rick had been the last few days but she was becoming antsy as they continued to just stare at her.

"I spoke to the other community leaders and we've decided to deny your request of exile." Rick finally divulged, his hands resting on his hips. Jesus sat down across from her and added, "We both tried to discuss it but most were pretty staunch supporters of making him pay."

"This is bullshit Rick. Why keep him locked up? It makes no goddamn difference." Kayla exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air in frustration.

"We want him to pay."

"How is this making him pay? All you're doing is keeping a reminder of the terrible shit that happened." Kayla questioned, her forehead wrinkled in confusion. She didn't understand how Rick thought the jail cell would do anything other than incite irritation from his people and frustration from boredom from Negan.

"He's lucky we don't execute him." Rick growled, his blue eyes flaring as he pointed in the cell's direction.

"Obviously but locking him up isn't doing anything but wasting your time and resources. Exiling us would not only get rid of the reminder of your losses but stop wasting food and man power to guard him." She offered, the woman grasping for any weakness in Rick's determination to stick to his decision.

"If we kick him out, you'll leave too."

Kayla sighed and replied, "If we stay here someone's going to eventually doing something in revenge. You think anyone wants me here? I'll end up attacked or Negan will. Why keep a source of such trouble when you could just let us go?"

"Because I want you here."

"I know." She replied softly. "But it's never going to be safe here for me and I'm not leaving my husband to rot. Just let us go Rick."

Shaking his head, his rest his hands on his low slung holster and rasped, "I can't. They didn't agree and I won't disregard their opinions. We want equality and respect, I can't go against their choices."

Growling, her hands balled up into fists. "Well, you're a fucking fool then because keeping us here is just asking for it. No one is ever going to forgive me for being married to him and I won't stop loving him."

Raising a pacifying hand, Rick assured, "Everything will be fine. No one wants to hurt you Kay."

"No one's stated it but Negan's right, just because they aren't saying it doesn't mean they aren't thinking it." Kayla retorted, her arms crossing tightly around her torso.

"I promise you, no one will hurt you here."

Kayla ground her teeth and stood up, her eyes blazing, "Take me to my husband. I haven't seen him in three fucking days. I don't even know if he's dead down there and your people just weren't telling me."

Rick sighed, scrubbing his eyes roughly before muttering, "they also requested we deny your visitation. They think-."

"Fuck what they think!" Kayla shouted loudly, her finger jabbing into Rick's chest. "You won't keep me from him, Rick. That is one sure fire fucking way to get me to do something stupid. You want that?"

"Don't threaten somethin' like that Kay. I'm trying to keep the peace." Rick growled fiercely, his eyes angry at her words.

"Oh yeah it's real goddamn peaceful around here. I just feel so at ease with being surrounded by people that hate me." Kayla deadpanned, rolling her eyes heavily.

"They don't-."

"They do." She growled, her hands in tight fists. "Take me to my husband or I'll lose my shit."

* * *

Negan watched as Kayla descended the stairs and approached the metal gate. He could tell she'd been crying and couldn't help but growl at the sight. "What's wrong? Who upset you?"

"Don't worry about it." She replied, a shaky smile curling her lips unconvincingly. "I'm fine."

"You're not fine and whoever made you cry is going to meet my fucking fist if I get a chance."

"You'd need to get out of this shithole to do that baby." She murmured, kissing his cheek before reaching in the cell to hold his hand. Rick stood at the top of the stairs, the man obviously not trusting her to keep the conversation they just had a secret. Kayla didn't blame him because she wasn't going to keep it secret. She felt Negan deserved to know she was trying to free him. Resting her forehead against the bars she whispered quiet enough for only him to hear. "I'm working on a plan."

Dipping his chin, Negan's eyes flicked to Rick before returning to her. "Don't do anything stupid."

"I'm not." She replied, her fingers stroking his hand. "I'm trying to get us exiled."

"Don't do that." He grunted, a large palm stroked hair from her temple. "We can make this work. You don't need to suffer also."

"I am suffering." Kayla muttered, her eyes filling with tears. "I fucking need you with me right now Negan. I can't keep this up. I can't stand all the judgmental eyes and I don't like having no one to trust."

"You can trust Rick to keep you safe, as much as it pains me to say." Negan muttered, his dark eyes flicking over her tired face. "You just need to rest more doll. You look like shit."

Laughing dryly, Kayla curled her hand into his shirt. "Don't be an asshole."

"Too bad doll. A tiger can't change his stripes." Negan retorted, his teeth flashing and dimples deepening. "Besides, I thought you found it endearing."

"I don't know how you came to that conclusion dumbass." She quipped, her voice lowering to keep the conversation between them. "I'm scared someone's gonna kill you in here… I will get you out of here."

"Don't get yourself killed doll." He muttered, pressing his forehead into the bars. "I won't make it if you get hurt tryin' to be a hero."

"I won't get hurt." She murmured, tilting her head up to gaze at him softly. "I miss sleeping with you. I can't sleep through the night anymore…. The dreams… of that place. I wish you were with me up there."

"I wish I was too sweetheart." Negan replied, his voice strained and hoarse. "I'm sorry I can't be there for you. It's the worst part of this."

Kayla wiped her cheek of tears and bit her bottom lip to keep from getting more upset as Negan's own eyes watered. His hands cupped her face as his lips kissed her gently through the bars. "You'll be okay, doll. I know you will."

Nodding, Kayla sniffled and asked, "They're feeding you enough?"

"Don't worry about me Kay. I'll be fine."

"We gotta go, Kayla." Rick spoke from the top of the stairs. "I have a few meetings to hold before dinner."

"So fucking go." She snapped, her angry eyes flashing to him. "Go plot and scheme like the hypocritical assholes you are."

Rick clenched his fist and repeated, "We've got to go now, Kayla."

Negan's kissed her cheek and wiped a tear from under her eye. "Go rest dollface. I'll see you again soon and don't worry, I'm alright as long as you are."

* * *

Negan lay on his mattress, staring at the ceiling while worrying about Kayla. She was distraught that afternoon, her eyes bloodshot and watery. He could tell something else was going on that Rick wouldn't let her talk about. She whispered that she was trying to get them exiled but from her emotional state, Negan would guess it wasn't working. He had to admit, it was pretty appealing idea. If they let them go, they could start over somewhere else. Find somewhere safe for just the two of them. Fuck everyone and everything else. All Negan needed was Kayla anyways, well and the basic essentials.

The door to the home squeaked open, the sound of quieted footsteps moving along in the dark had Negan sitting up. He half hoped it was Kayla trying to break him out but found two men approaching the gate instead. Narrowing his eyes, he took in the weapon holstered on one's hip, as the other held something loosely in his hand. They both wore the look of revenge in their eyes.

'Looks like Kay was right, as usual.' Negan through wryly, his sardonic grin spreading as they stood at the gate.

"How's it goin' fellas?" Negan drawled, his voice hoarse from disuse. "You here for the lynchin'?"

"We're here to make you pay asshole." The blonde man snarled, his hands gripping the bars in tight fists. The man looked familiar but Negan had no idea if he'd killed someone close to him. Grinning wider, Negan replied sarcastically. "I thought that was what I was doing in this fucking shithole. Paying for my crimes."

"This isn't a fucking joke. You deserve to be gutted and strung up like the pig you are." The other man growled, his blue eyes filled with disgust.

"Oh real-fucking-ly." Negan drawled, standing up to face them head on. He felt more than a little inadequate being unarmed and barefoot but he would be damned if he died on that shitty mattress. "And what? You two gutless fucking pussies are gonna do it, that it?"

"Yes. We're going to fuck you up asshole."

"You filthy cunts think you can fuck me? No one fucks me but my wife and even she's gotta beg Daddy for it." He sneered, his teeth bared and knuckles popping as he flexed them.

The cell door was unlocked and Negan prepared himself as one man drew his gun, while the other raised a metal pipe. If they wanted to kill him with a gun, they could've done it from outside the cell. Negan knew that they were looking for retribution and desired to cause as much physical pain as possible. He couldn't even blame them really; he would've done the same.

"Well you sopping vaginas gonna get to it or do I fucking need to do every-goddamn-thing around here?" Negan sneered, his hands tightening into fists as they lunged at him. The first hit from the lead pipe had Negan grunting in pain before landing a brutal uppercut to the bastard's face. Feeling the man's nose crunch under his fist was the most satisfying feeling he'd had in months. The second man tried to pistol wipe Negan but missed as the tall man swiped his arm away. With his concentration on the man with the gun, he didn't see the pipe wielding asshole until it was too late. Stars burst across his eyes as the blunt object cracked him on the temple. Moaning in pain, he swung his arms out trying to keep them from approaching but his limbs became uncoordinated. He landed in a heap as fists and feet pummeled him into the concrete.

"How's that feel fucker." One man growled while kicking Negan in the ribs and stomach. Grabbing an incoming leg, Negan yanked the man off his feet. The loud crack of his head hitting the ground had Negan grinning as blood dripped from his chin.

"That smarts don't it you ugly twatface fuck." Negan sneered, yanking the pipe from his hand and swinging it into the other man's face. Missing his chance, Negan tried to block the fists raining down on him as the second man went ballistic. His vision blurred further as it became apparent he couldn't stop from being brutally beaten.

Feeling the barrel of a silencer pressing into his forehead, Negan panted and looked up as the man glared down at him.

"I'm going to blow your fucking brains out." he snarled, jamming the metal into Negan face. "You're goin' to hell."

"Put it down Carter." Rick boomed from the staircase, the Prick's voice a pleasant sound for the first time ever. Negan flicked his eyes up at him to see the ex-sheriff deputy holding his revolver on the man towering over him. Negan blinked a few times but his vision wouldn't clear as blood trickled into his eyes.

"No, Rick. He deserves to die." His attacker demanded, spittle flying from his mouth as he snarled "I don't even know if Lyle is alive. This fucker smashed his head in."

"You fucking started it asswipe." Negan rasped, his hand wrapping around the pipe lying on the ground. "Don't blame me if you cunts can't take a hit."

"Put it down Carter or else." Rick warned, his boots scuffing as he stepped down another stair. "I don't want to hurt you but I can't allow you to kill him."

"Why the fuck not?!" the blonde shouted, pressing the barrel further into Negan's forehead. Grimacing at the pain it caused, Negan clenched his jaw and waited for a moment to take the asshole out. He wanted the cave his skull in and tear him limb from fucking limb.

"He's scum, Rick. What're you gonna do, kill me to save this piece of shit?"

"I don't want to hurt you, Carter but I can't let you do this."

Negan watched as the man's finger flexed, the digit bending just enough to pull the trigger. Swinging up to hit the man's arm with the lead pipe, the gun fired off a silent round into the floor next to his head. Negan slammed the weapon into Carter face and would've continued to throttle him if Rick hadn't yanked the pipe away.

"Fucking asshole." Negan snarled, slamming his heel into the guy's gut. "How's that feel fuckface?"

Rick barreled into him, pinning him to the wall while growling, "Stop right now."

Negan shoved Rick back, his eyes blazing as a sudden thought struck him. "Where's Kay? Is she safe up there?"

Rick stared at him for a long moment before pulling out a pair of cuffs and gesturing for Negan's hands. "Easy way or hard way?"

"Whatever fucking way that gets you moving your scrawny fucking ass up those stairs to check on Kayla. If they're attacking me, they could be after her also." Negan snarled, putting his hands behind his back before asking, "You gonna lock these fucks up too  _Officer_."

"Yes." Rick rasped, dragging both men out of the cell before locking the gate again. Negan watched from the cell as Rick patted them down for weapons before leaving the house to check on Kayla. Negan grunted as the adrenaline from the fight ebbed and the pain from their attack made itself known. Blood was still dripping from the wound on his temple, the injury throbbing from the brutal hit with the lead pipe.

"You fucks are dead goddamn meat if you hurt her." Negan muttered, glaring at the two heaps of men on the floor. Leaning against the doorframe, Negan stared at the staircase waiting for Rick to return. His nerves were frayed and as more time passed waiting for news about Kayla, the more anxious Negan became.

"Come the fuck on Prick." He growled under his breath as he paced the small room in frustration.

When the door opened again, Negan was instantly at the gate peering up to see Rick and Daryl descending the stairs. Behind them was another man carrying a medical bag.

"Well?" Negan rasped, his eyes scanning Rick for any signs of distress. "Is she okay or what fucker?"

"Kay's fine." Rick grumbled, helping the doctor look over the two unconscious men.

"He's dead." The man announced, his dark accusing eyes landing on Negan.

"Don't give me the stink eye motherfucker. They attacked me." Negan sneered, turning his head to show off the gushing head wound. "How 'bout you use those expertise and sew this shit up."

"You don't deserve medical care."

"Didn't you take some kind of oath to help people or some shit."

"People yes, you're an animal."

"Henry, just do your job." Rick muttered, as they checked Carter over for a pulse. Finding him breathing but injured, Negan watched as Daryl and Rick carried the dead body out. He waited on his mattress as they returned to remove the injured man. Negan adjusted his wrists, which were bound behind him, the bruising on his ribs aching from the position.

"Hey asshole, you mind taking this shit off? Huh?" he growled, rolling his shoulders in irritation. "I'm the fucking victim here, I didn't do anything wrong."

Rick unlocked the door, Daryl following with his bow up and aimed at his face. "Try it asshole, I wanna kill ya."

"Well, take a fucking ticket and get in line hillbilly because I'm not sure if you noticed but I just pegged those two cunts proper."

Rick yanked Negan forward by the shirt and had him sitting in the middle of the cell. Unlocking his cuffs, he ordered, "You are going to sit here, shut up and let Henry work. No goddamn talking or moving. You clear?"

"Crystal motherfucker clear chief as long as your boyfriend keeps it in his pants, he's got some serious bedroom eyes for me." Negan sneered, his nose wrinkled in amusement. Rick scrubbed his face and motioned for the doctor to enter. The so-called physician used no bedside manner as he scrubbed the wound with no care. Grunting in pain, Negan clenched his teeth to keep from voicing the discomfort.

The front door slammed open as he pulled out the suture kit. Negan almost sighed in relief as he saw Kayla shove a guard out of the way and stomp down the stairs.

"Touch him with that and I'll tear you fucking testicles off." She snarled, her eyes burning holes into the trio. Negan would've laughed if weren't for the tears glossing her eyes. He could tell she was more than a little upset at the sight of his bloodied face.

"Kayla-." Rick started only to be interrupted by the fiery brunette.

"No fucking talking." She snapped, pointing angrily at him. "I told you this would happen. I fucking told you, now you are going to let me tend to my husband or else."

Henry rose and slammed the bag into Rick's arms. "He's all yours."

Kayla stepped out of the way as the man barreled through the cell door without a backwards glance. Daryl kept his bow trained on Negan, as Kayla yanked the canvas sack from Rick's arms and knelt in front of Negan. Her hand cupped his cheek for a moment, her eyes blinking rapidly. "You look like shit." She muttered, sniffling before she began rifling through the bag.

"You should see the other guys, oh I mean guy since one is off to see his maker."

"Good." Kayla hissed, her accusing eyes flicking to Rick. "Now you've lost one guy and the other is gravely injured. This could've been prevented if you let us just leave."

"She makes a really good point huh Pricky?" Negan rasped, grimacing as Kayla's much more gentle hands wiped blood from the head wound. He felt her blow gently on the tender flesh afree applying a numbing gel. As she waited for it to work, she checked his ribs when she noticed him adjusting his position repeatedly. The pale flesh below the plain white t-shirt was blooming red and purple from their boots and fists.

"Assholes." Kayla grumbled, her concerned eyes meeting his. "Feel broken?"

"Nah sweetheart. Don't you worry about little ol' me." he rasped lowly, his body leaning forwards to get closer to her. It was the first time they didn't have a metal barrier between them and he couldn't help but want to grab her.

"Don't move." Daryl snapped, his eyes drilling into the pair. Kayla shot an angry glance over her shoulder and retorted, "Calm your tits."

Negan chuckled, his head thrown back at her snide remark. "Goddamn doll. I've missed you."

Kayla prepared the needle while smirking at him, her eyes playful. "You won't be sayin' that in a minute."

"Baby, I'll always say it. If you aren't in my lap, you're too far."

"Smooth, dear. Very smooth." Kayla murmured, before she frowned. "This is going to hurt even with the gel. I'm sorry."

"I'm a big boy. I can handle it." Negan replied, licking his lip suggestively as she got closer to sew his temple shut. "But you uh… you know all about that don't you darlin'?"

"Hush." Kayla whispered as she began repairing the split in his skin. The time was spent quietly except for Kayla's hisses as she pained herself by paining him. Negan focused on her face, soaking up every nuance in closer detail than in the last few months. He traced the smattering of freckles on her nose and licked his lips at the sight of her teeth pulling on her bottom lip in concentration. The half-mast he was sporting was barely hidden as he felt her fingertips brushing hair from the area, her nails gently scratching his scalp. Groaning, his eyes slid shut at the feel of someone else's hands on him, the sensation new after so long alone.

"Sorry." She mumbled, his wife under the impression she'd pulled the stitch too tight.

"Don't be unless you count the major set of blue balls I'm gonna suffer through tonight."

Snorting, she dropped her eyes to his lap and had the audacity to suck her plump bottom lip into her mouth hungrily. Growling he threatened, "You keep lookin' at my monster cock like that sugar and it might jump out to get you, arrow in my ass be damned."

"Can we finish the fuck up? I'm tired of listenin' to you two." Daryl snapped, his hand tightening on the bow. "Unless you wanna make that move and we can finish this all up."

"Suck a dick redneck." Negan snapped, his angry eyes flicking to the man in irritation. "Don't be jealous I got a woman, while all you have is that calloused fist."

Rick sighed, tipping his chin to the cell door. "I got this Daryl."

When the man didn't move, Rick motioned while taking out his revolver and aiming it at Negan. "Go on, I got it. I'll cuff him back up." Handing them to Kayla, she glared at him before binding Negan's wrist together in the front rather than the back. Daryl hesitated another moment while staring at Rick with narrowed eyes. There was a long silence where something passed between the men before Daryl exited the home. Kayla seemed to notice the silent conversation also and cocked an eyebrow at Negan. Smirking, Negan rolled a heavy shoulder and muttered, "Someone's sleeping on the couch tonight."

Kayla finished bandaging his temple and began to repack the bag under Rick's careful eye. Once done she glanced up at the man and asked, "Can I hug him?"

"Not right now." Rick replied, holstering his gun before retrieving the key to the cuffs. "We don't have time."

Kayla's brow furrowed at the man's statement, jumping to her feet to block Rick's path. "What are you talking about? What're you doing?"

"There's no time to explain, now uncuff him and grab that bag." Rick replied, leaving the cell and climbing the stairs only to return quickly with two backpacks. Chucking it at Negan, he watched as the ex-deputy handed Kayla the other.

"There's shoes in there. You're going to follow me, no questions." Rick demanded, while watching Negan pull on the boots provided. Kayla stared at him blankly before opening her mouth to ask a question despite the man's orders.

"This incident has changed everything so I don't have time to explain, Kayla but you're getting your wish alright. Follow me." he drawled before climbing the stairs quickly. Negan glanced at Kayla before following the man to the front door. Outside he noticed the guards had been dismissed, the post empty save for Jesus who stood on the sidewalk. They moved along the shadow of the house to meeting him down the street behind a large shrub. Kayla's hand was firmly wrapped in Negan's as they crouched next to the other men.

"This isn't what we decided on." Jesus growled, his blue eyes narrowed and irritated.

"Well, tell that to Carter and Lyle." Rick grumbled, tipping his chin to the gate. "Go and take over for Steven. We'll follow as soon as he's gone."

Negan watched as the beanie wearing man sauntered down the street to the large iron gate. The two men spoke until the older one wandered away towards home. Jesus waited for the area to be clear of prying eyes before motioning for them to follow. Moving as quickly as possible with injured ribs, Negan tugged Kayla behind him. He wasn't too sure how sore she still was from her injuries but he wasn't going to waste the opportunity to escape. It was now or never because once everyone found out he had killed another of theirs, no matter how justified, he would be strung up.

At the gate, Jesus pulled it open and let the trio out. He dipped his chin to Kayla and muttered, "Good luck Kay."

"Thanks." She replied, her feet quickly following Rick into the darkened street. Negan didn't bother speaking to the man holding the gate, rather he focused on Rick's quickly receding shape. They jogged along the wall to a thick-forested area until escaping into the woods. Rick looked back periodically, checking on them but continued to draw them further and further into the darkness. A niggling of worry settled in Negan's chest as time passed by, the idea that it was all an elaborate trap flickering through his mind. He wouldn't put it past Rick to do such a thing if it weren't for Kayla's presence. Negan knew even with as big of an asshole as Rick was, he would never involve Kayla in such a thing.

"Where are we going?" Kayla hissed as Rick stopped to look down a unpaved road.

"A vehicle with some supplies. Unfortunately there's not much with this monkey wrench thrown in. I wanted a few more days to prepare."

"Rick?" Kayla whispered, her hand grabbing his wrist. "You were going to let us go before this happened?"

"Yeah, I just couldn't tell you. If you stopped fighting him bein' locked up people would've questioned it."

A woodshed appeared down a tiny offshoot of the road, the doors locked with a chain. Rick produced a key and unwound the chain to throw open the doors. Inside was a small SUV covered in a tarp.

They watched as Rick yanked the plastic off and unveiled the vehicle. He pulled out a set of keys and handed to Negan without looking at him.

"There's a little gas in the trunk and maps in the glove box." Rick described, his eyes focusing on Kayla who was gripping Negan's hand in a tight fingers. He could see her eyes filling up as the two looked at each other. Tugging on her hand, Negan murmured, "I'm going check out the supplies, you two… talk."

* * *

Kayla stared up at Rick, her cheeks covered in tears as he pulled her into his chest. She gripped the back of his shirt and cried into the soft flannel. "Thank you Rick. Thank you."

"Don't cry." Rick mumbled into the crown of her head. "This is hard enough, Kayla. Please don't cry."

"I'm sorry." She wiped her cheeks and swallowed back a sob as she looked at her big brother for possibly the last time. "I just… I'm surprised."

"Your words stuck with me. Keeping him would only ever cause problems and I couldn't… I couldn't do it to you again, no matter how much I hate the bastard, I couldn't execute him." He replied, his large hands cupping her face. "I'm sorry for how everything's turned out, Kayla. I don't want you to leave but I know it's the only way."

Kayla hugged him tighter until she heard Negan speak from the driver side door. "We should go before anyone notices I'm gone babe."

Rick nodded above her and murmured, "He's right Kay. You guys go west like you said and if anything happens… if you want to come back Kay,  _you're_  welcome."

Nodding she kissed his cheek before pulling away to climb inside the car. "Tell Carl goodbye for me. And… take care of Judy."

"I will." Rick rasped, clearing his throat roughly. Negan sauntered over to Rick and cocked his head back, a grin splitting his face. "I'm not gonna pretend I'm not a little salty about you keeping me locked the fuck up but you doin' this for us, makes up for it."

"Good to know." Rick deadpanned, crossing his arms, "I can sleep soundly knowing I'm forgiven."

"Oh I haven't forgiven you for shit, I'm just saying we're even-fucking-steven now." Negan retorted, his hand out to shake Rick's. Kayla watched as Rick glared at it a moment before shaking it and growling lowly, "Her life is in your hands now. Don't fuck it up."

Kayla held her breath as they both glared at each other silently until Negan replied gruffly, "I appreciate the confidence. Have a nice life Pricky."

Climbing into the car as Negan slid into the driver seat, Kayla looked at Rick for the last time. The man's blue eyes were glassy as he stepped aside to let them exit the structure. His hand pressed on the passenger window as Negan pulled out of the shed slowly. Kayla placed her hand below her surrogate brother's, her lips quirking up.

"Thank you," she mouthed as he smiled sadly, dipping his chin in response.

Her eyes flicked to the back window as they headed down the dark unknown road. Rick's shape faded instantly as the night enveloped the car, the only light coming from the dashboard. Meeting Negan's eyes across the tiny console, the man looked just as shocked by the evening's events as she was.

"Now what?" Kayla croaked, the emotions from the night just under the surface.

"No fucking clue doll but I think we're gonna figure it out soon enough." Negan replied, his teeth flashing a bit, while reaching out his hand. "Come a little closer sweetheart, I've missed you."

Scooting towards him, Kayla practically climbed over the plastic console in between them, her hand curling up in his t-shirt.

"Kiss me." she demanded, her words as desperate as her eyes. Negan pulled the car to a complete stop before turning to face her, his large hands cupping her cheeks. She peered up at him, the blue glow from the dashboard highlighting the bruises spreading out from his injury. The frown she wore was quickly dispelled as Negan's soft lips met hers, his tongue swiping across the soft surface instantly. Moaning into his mouth, Kayla's eyes fell closed heavily as the man probed her thoroughly. His grip tightened, his fingers curling into her hair as his thick arms pulled her partially into his lap. They devoured each other hungrily, his arms tightening around her back and cupping her neck while his tongue and teeth pulled guttural moans from her throat.

"Fucking fuck. You are so goddamn tasty." Negan murmured while sucking a delicious path down her neck and jaw. "I love you so fucking much Kayla.  _So fucking much_."

Tilting his face up from her neck, Kayla cupped his scruffy cheeks and replied softly, "I love you Negan."

A thump against the window brought the pair back to earth, a corpse having found them unaware. Its face pressed into the glass grotesquely, its teeth scraping the surface trying to get to a meal.

"Goddamn cockblocker." Negan grumbled, his hand smoothing back the hair he roughed up. "Buckle up babycakes. We're going on that road trip you always wanted."

"Oh yeah?" she replied with a grin, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "What's first?"

"I don't know but whatever it is, we're doin' it to-fucking-gether." Negan informed with a grin, his dimples deepening under his beard as his eyes crinkled. "You good with that my dear wife?"

"I wouldn't have it any other way." Kayla replied with a smile, her fingers weaving through his in the center console.

They didn't have many supplies and would need to scavenge to make a living but they had more than they had hours before. No matter what happened from that point on, they knew they could do it. They may not find another safe haven. They may not survive life on the road. However, for Kayla and Negan, none of that mattered because if the past few months taught them anything, it was all they needed was each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be continued in the sequel There is No Light.


End file.
